Christian sat at his desk in his home office, staring empty minded at the wall.

At a picture of Anastasia's face to be exact. The photograph was so clear and so detailed, you could see every freckle on her delicate skin. Her beautiful teeth hidden only slightly by her full cherry-red lips. The gap between the front two teeth setting an otherwise perfectly straight set apart from the rest. Not a wrinkle marred her young face, but her smile was so large, and so overpowering that it created indentions and shadows that gave Christian insight as to what his girl might look like once age had crawled its way into her youthful body.

Christian let his mind wonder around the idea of being there through it all. Being there for her first grey hair. Her first laugh line that would be too stubborn to smooth away once the joke wasn't funny anymore. The fading of her bright childlike eyes. She would turn into an exquisitely beautiful old woman right before his eyes. He couldn't even begin to put into words how lucky he felt to be the man to walk with her through the years.

In fact, that is exactly what he'd come in this room to do.

Put it into words.

Writing matrimonial vows, some might say. Writing your obituary is more like it.

However, his wife had not backed down. With just days left before the wedding, Ana flounced around the apartment without a care in the world. She had written her vows to him in one sitting, days earlier. And now, she was parading around as if she had a grade A secret in her pocket. The luck of a literary fan girl.

Christian was stumped.

Writer's block. That's what they called it.

He supposed you had to be a writer to begin with to experience the handicap, but if he had to give a title to his current condition, it would be writer's block.

It's not as if he couldn't talk about his love for Ana. He could do it for hours.

Anyone that knew him well, knew that the best way to get into Christian Grey's good graces would be to ask about his fiancé.

A simple "how's Ana?" Would take you a long way in Grey's world. Even some of his employees had caught on to the trick. Christian would drop whatever demanding mood he had been in and, melt. Speak about her as if she were his prized possession. Adoration beaming from every syllable.

He would be speaking of his greatest accomplishment.

Speaking of his greatest accomplishment… there she was.

The office door cracked slightly to reveal his barefoot fiancé. Clad only in one of his t-shirt, she had a large iced tea in each hand and was struggling not to spill them just walking flat footed across the floor. She caught his eye and smiled. Continued her balancing act all the way around his desk, and stoped at the left of his chair. She was so close; he could smell her body lotion.

"Put something down!" She demanded, giggling at having caught Christian daydreaming.

He reached for a coaster and hurriedly sat it on the mahogany desk in front of her. She placed his tea upon it and took a deep breath as if to say "see, didn't spill it!"

"Thank you. To what do I owe this generous visit?" he asked. Ana shrugged her shoulders and looked down at her toes, wiggling them. "I knew you were in here trying to write your vows. I could hear your gears coming off their track all the way from the kitchen." She took her foot, and placed it down on top of Christian's shoe, turning his chair towards her just enough to take her place in his lap. "It's almost lunchtime. Do you need some brain food?"

"Are you the brain food?" Christian wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her back further into his chest. Her glass of tea sloshed over slightly and wet her hand. "Heyyy" she pouted, leaning back up into the desk. She placed the glass on top of the paper Christian had been attempting to write on.

"Those are my vows you're using as a coaster, there love." Christian said with a mock irritation. "Oh yeah?" she raised her glass once more and scanned the page. "Let's see what we've got so far."

The printer paper was corner dog eared at the top and had a few scratches and ink circles Christian had made, under the impression that if he found the perfect pen to write with, the words would just magically appear.

The only word that had appeared however, was written in the top left corner.

"Anastasia…." Ana said, sweetly. "well, it's short and sweet. Isn't it?"

"I'm… finding it difficult." Christian lifted his head back up to stare at the photograph. Choosing to look at the two-dimensional version, instead of meeting the eyes of the real thing in his lap.

Ana sighed, and ran her hand across the stubble on Christian's chin. "What are you finding so difficult about it? Are you afraid I wont like what you have to say?" she asked, sweetly.

Christian chuckled at the idea that she thought he might use his wedding vows as a last commandment.

After a beat, Ana decided her otherwise expressive man was not going to explain himself.

"Do you want to know how I thought of what to write?" she began. After a nod from Christian, she continued. "I thought of our life together. I thought of what we'd already been through, and what we'd face in the future. And from there, I made a list of all the things about yourself within our relationship that I know that your proud of. Like how well you take care of me. How you provide for us, how you might be some big ol' meanie to the rest of the world, but how you're my big softie, and you're proud of it. And then made a separate list of all the things about me, that I know that you're proud of. Like how bad I want to take care of you, bake you things, and trim your hair. Like how I'd trust you with my life, and even though sometimes I might hate it, I always want your input on every decision I make." Ana leaned further back into Christian's chest.

"And then I wrote my vows. My vows just to you. As if you'd be the only one to ever hear them. I didn't think about our family, and friends hearing what I'll say to you. I didn't think about the minister judging what I deem to be important between us. I definitely didn't think about whether what I was writing would make me cry or not, because as sure as I'm breathing, I know that I'll cry when I say them on our wedding day. But I don't care about all of that. Because what I've written… my vows to you. I mean them, Christian. And you need to hear them. And there wont ever be a time when I will allow something else, or someone else outweigh your need for me."

"And you need to hear mine?" Christian asked quietly.

Ana shook her head. "Not to know how much you love me. But yes, in a way I think I do need to hear them."

Christian leaned his head into the back of Ana's neck. Just smelling her familiar scent at first, but eventually tilting his head to kiss her hairline.

"Then far be it for me to ever let this outweigh your needs for me."

Christian did not write his vows that day. Instead, he and Ana became a bit too distracted with each other to do any real work. But after he made love to his fiancé… as he laid there naked, and panting. He thought about what it really means to love someone so much you allow yourself to be this way. Allow yourself to show them the naked truths of your spirit. The ugly parts. The hidden, and secretive parts. Your fears. What it really means to love someone so much you show them your shame. And what it really means for them to take that shame and make love to it.

When he begins to write his vows, Christian thought, he might could write about that.