p class="MsoNormal"strong style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"Part 4/span/strong/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /span"I think I had better take that."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"James felt as if someone had just ripped his chest apart. He would have laughed had a wisdom way beyond Tristan's years not coloured the voice of whoever was standing in front of him./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;""James?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"His throat went dry as he handed over the watch. Still, this whole thing could be Tristan pulling some sort of elaborate joke. "So, you are saying,"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanhe voiced the only sensible explanation he could come up with. "That in your spare time, you use this watch and go out to fool people into thinking you're this Doctor guy? No wonder it took you so long to finish your study." He shook his head. "All those times we thought you were at the Drovers, you were out pulling your scheme. How many pranks did you pull using that alias, Tristan?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"Despite his pushing for the truth, all he wanted now was for Tristan to simply answer the question with a number. Any number, it didn't matter. For a second James could tell his friend was tempted, but when the smile didn't reach his eyes and silence progressed, fear stilled the world around him. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;""I'm sorry."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"He stared, hard, fear twisting into something even more ugly. "What about Siegfried? Don't tell me you lied to him for all those years?" Relieved to have found a plot hole in Tristan's cooked up story, James relaxed. He'd always thought his friend was an actor waiting to happen. The man had a flare for the dramatic./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;""As far as Siegfried's concerned, I am his brother."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;""But you're not." /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;""No." /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"James hadn't realized he was sweating until he took a step back. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;""I understand your anger, James."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"Anger?/span/emspan lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" That's when he started shaking, the ground beneath him spinning off its axis attempting to make him feel ill, drunk. But the ground hadn't moved, the Dales were the same, beautiful in its splendour. So how come he couldn't see them anymore? How come they were swallowed up by this aching hole in his chest. And then he knew./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/em/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"What he felt was grief. Damn grief for losing someone who had never been real in the first place. As if Tristan had been stolen away, dissipating in the early mist draping the Dales. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"The stranger once Tristanwalked off. Creating more distance between them. "I had no choice. After the Mawdren…" He glanced over his shoulder. "They are the near death people you saw. They wanted my regenerations... lives, you could say. After they took what they needed from me I was barely alive."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"James listened, anger closing his throat too tight to speak up./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"Tristan marched up to him in an agitated fashion. "Eight of them stealing the eight regenerations I had left. Hadn't much energy left in me after that. Only there weren't eight you see."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"His high pitched voice sounded so like Tristan that James felt his stomach contract with another pang of grief. He looked away, casting his eyes over the Dales. The landscape shimmering in fractured sunlight looked as intangible as the story unfolding before him. The world this man painted felt surreal, was so unlike his own that his instinct was to reject it. Yet, when paired with the images he'd gotten from the watch, it all made a horrible kind of sense. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"Other pieces fell into place. When Siegfried had shouted at his brother for being an irresponsible drunk, a lazy, lay about youth thriving on alcohol during nights out in the Drovers, all those times Siegfried had tugged at a sense of responsibility that Tristan had just refused to tap into. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"Now James knew why. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"He'd seen it before, on farmers' faces as they tried to make a living on the hard unforgiving Yorkshire soil. In farmers wives' expressions when those efforts failed. Even on Siegfried's face when his brother had failed another exam: the burden of responsibility tearing you apart./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;""There were ten. Tegan and Nyssa, my… travel companions, they got sick," the man in front of him continued. "Infected. With a disease that couldn't be cured, like foot and mouth, only a much worse, much quicker killer. The Mawdren said they would help them if I gave them what was needed."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"The crumbling slope of what had been his world solidified when this so called doctor casually threw veterinary knowledge in between his explanations. This was his friend, still Tristan caring for those close to him with a tenacity -James saw now- surpassing even Siegfried's obsessive urge to change the world for the better. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;""So I gave extra, it was the only to way to heal them. I don't think Tegan and Nyssa were fully aware of the consequences. And even if they did, they were too scared, too gripped by the virus at that point. Unfortunately, it took rather a lot out of me."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;""You got sick."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;""Slipped into a coma actually."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;""So your companions brought you here, to Darrowby."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"A ghost of a smile tugged at his friend's lips. "Yes, well, sort of. It's obvious, isn't it?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;""Is it?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;""The TARDIS exchanged my life force for hers to keep me alive. I needed a place to dig in, to hide from some very unpleasant persona until we recovered. To keep me safe, my identity as the doctor was stored in the watch. Mind you, you should not have been able to open it, but when you did, all that I was came flooding back to me."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"James felt confused, getting the distinct feeling this TARDIS wasn't human. It must have shown on his face./p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;""My ship," this 'Doctor' elaborated, the explanation only adding to James' confusion. "Normally she tends to recuperate for a decade or so on her own. But because of the state we were in, we needed more time to recover. The Doctor shrugged. "We should be right as rain in about fifty years or so."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"James swallowed, a thought occurring to him. He crossed his arms, because damn it all to hell, if this em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"was/em Tristan's idea of a joke, he deserved a good mouth full. "And who is Tristan Farnon?" He couldn't hold back bitterness. "Doctor?" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;""I am."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;""Oh, are you now?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"His friend looked sad. "A little mind trick I performed with help from the TARDIS. Siegfried needed someone at the time, I needed a home. And a vet… Well, can you think of any other occupation that values all life, all creatures great and small so highly?" So my … ship pulled out the brother in me, gave us a history, gave Siegfried the sense he'd always had a brother and I became Tristan while she hid my real identity in the watch."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"James frowned, professional dedication clearing his mind of all other subject matter. "Wait a minute." Grief found an outlet. "Are you saying you could have cured them?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;""You're not listening, James. Nyssa and Tegan are okay. Although probably not too pleased about the way the TARDIS dropped them off at home before coming here."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;""I meant the cows, Tristan!" The name was out, before he realized what he was saying. The only name that felt appropriate right now. "Foot and Mouth! You could have saved most of the stock."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"He certainly looked as if he hadn't seen that one coming. "Well…" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;""Well, what?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;""No, no, not without proper equipment."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"James snorted. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;""No. The TARDIS is sleeping, James. I can't wake her, not yet. Also, my memory was swiss cheesed from the Farnon heritage she forced onto me and Siegfried. Lord knows why she made me a smoker. I genuinely had to go through vet school in order to recall even the most basic cures. I kept failing my exams because I was still recovering from the Mawdren onslaught. My relationship with you, the Dales and its people has grown like any other relationship in normal time. I might not be Siegfried's brother in blood, but in every other sense I am. It's as real as it can get."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;""And you're not going to tell him."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;""It'll kill him, you know that."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"James released a breath he hadn't known he was holding. It was span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanthe Tristan he knew who eyed him with apprehension. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;""em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"You're/em not going to tell him, are you?" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"Unable to come to terms with the loss he felt churning in his stomach, while for all intense and purposes Tristan stood alive and well in front of him, James pressed his lips together./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;""James?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;""Well, I don't know. How can I? It's not every day your best friend turns alien now is it?" James prided himself on being a man of integrity but couldn't, in all good consciousness, promise that this knowledge wouldn't drive him mad. "You'll leave someday."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;""As I said, it's going to take at least fifty years."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;""And the Doctor?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;""I'll bury him. Don't worry, no one will ever know. The TARDIS won't wake for half a century." The wisdom in his eyes faded, and the spark of mischief returned. But if James looked hard, the pain was there, covered by a happy go lucky if somewhat lazy country vet. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"More than anything James wanted to sustain the youthful twinkle he saw in this man's eyes, wanted the Tristan who gave Siegfried headaches, whose cheery disposition brought life to the Drover's, and who now and then caused the whole of Darrowby to go into an uproar. "So you want me to pretend nothing's happened. I can't tell anyone, not even Helen?" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"Tristan's smile faded, shattering the illusion that he was anyone other than Siegfried's brother. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"James nodded, accepting that this was going to be difficult, but not impossible. "And you will do what?" He couldn't help but sound sarcastic and let the grief show in his voice. "Take evening surgery?" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"The Doctor put a hand on his shoulder, their eyes locked. A flicker of regret surfaced on the man's face. "I'll live, James." Something pressed on his temples. Blue eyes watched him as they connected. em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"But I can't do this to you. Or to Siegfried. Life, James. That's what you have here, in the Dales, in Darrowby. As much as I feel empty sometimes, because so many chunks are missing from my passed and future. I found a home in Tristan. You, and Siegfried, you're too valuable… far too valuable span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanto him… to me." /emHe closed his eyes and James felt the world fading. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"Blackness pressed in, turned into a pinprick and exploded. And so did the heavy sadness inside him. He grieved for all this Doctor had lost, for all the sacrifices he had made, and for the one he gave James now. Then heavy sleep pulled him under, carrying consoling words in its wake. Words, he was sure now belonged to Tristan./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"Thank you, James. Now live… and forget./span/em/p
p class="MsoNormal"em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/em/p
p class="MsoNormal"strongThe end/strong/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /span"I think I had better take that."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"James felt as if someone had just ripped his chest apart. He would have laughed had a wisdom way beyond Tristan's years not coloured the voice of whoever was standing in front of him./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;""James?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"His throat went dry as he handed over the watch. Still, this whole thing could be Tristan pulling some sort of elaborate joke. "So, you are saying,"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanhe voiced the only sensible explanation he could come up with. "That in your spare time, you use this watch and go out to fool people into thinking you're this Doctor guy? No wonder it took you so long to finish your study." He shook his head. "All those times we thought you were at the Drovers, you were out pulling your scheme. How many pranks did you pull using that alias, Tristan?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"Despite his pushing for the truth, all he wanted now was for Tristan to simply answer the question with a number. Any number, it didn't matter. For a second James could tell his friend was tempted, but when the smile didn't reach his eyes and silence progressed, fear stilled the world around him. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;""I'm sorry."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"He stared, hard, fear twisting into something even more ugly. "What about Siegfried? Don't tell me you lied to him for all those years?" Relieved to have found a plot hole in Tristan's cooked up story, James relaxed. He'd always thought his friend was an actor waiting to happen. The man had a flare for the dramatic./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;""As far as Siegfried's concerned, I am his brother."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;""But you're not." /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;""No." /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"James hadn't realized he was sweating until he took a step back. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;""I understand your anger, James."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"Anger?/span/emspan lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" That's when he started shaking, the ground beneath him spinning off its axis attempting to make him feel ill, drunk. But the ground hadn't moved, the Dales were the same, beautiful in its splendour. So how come he couldn't see them anymore? How come they were swallowed up by this aching hole in his chest. And then he knew./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/em/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"What he felt was grief. Damn grief for losing someone who had never been real in the first place. As if Tristan had been stolen away, dissipating in the early mist draping the Dales. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"The stranger once Tristanwalked off. Creating more distance between them. "I had no choice. After the Mawdren…" He glanced over his shoulder. "They are the near death people you saw. They wanted my regenerations... lives, you could say. After they took what they needed from me I was barely alive."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"James listened, anger closing his throat too tight to speak up./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"Tristan marched up to him in an agitated fashion. "Eight of them stealing the eight regenerations I had left. Hadn't much energy left in me after that. Only there weren't eight you see."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"His high pitched voice sounded so like Tristan that James felt his stomach contract with another pang of grief. He looked away, casting his eyes over the Dales. The landscape shimmering in fractured sunlight looked as intangible as the story unfolding before him. The world this man painted felt surreal, was so unlike his own that his instinct was to reject it. Yet, when paired with the images he'd gotten from the watch, it all made a horrible kind of sense. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"Other pieces fell into place. When Siegfried had shouted at his brother for being an irresponsible drunk, a lazy, lay about youth thriving on alcohol during nights out in the Drovers, all those times Siegfried had tugged at a sense of responsibility that Tristan had just refused to tap into. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"Now James knew why. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"He'd seen it before, on farmers' faces as they tried to make a living on the hard unforgiving Yorkshire soil. In farmers wives' expressions when those efforts failed. Even on Siegfried's face when his brother had failed another exam: the burden of responsibility tearing you apart./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;""There were ten. Tegan and Nyssa, my… travel companions, they got sick," the man in front of him continued. "Infected. With a disease that couldn't be cured, like foot and mouth, only a much worse, much quicker killer. The Mawdren said they would help them if I gave them what was needed."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"The crumbling slope of what had been his world solidified when this so called doctor casually threw veterinary knowledge in between his explanations. This was his friend, still Tristan caring for those close to him with a tenacity -James saw now- surpassing even Siegfried's obsessive urge to change the world for the better. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;""So I gave extra, it was the only to way to heal them. I don't think Tegan and Nyssa were fully aware of the consequences. And even if they did, they were too scared, too gripped by the virus at that point. Unfortunately, it took rather a lot out of me."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;""You got sick."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;""Slipped into a coma actually."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;""So your companions brought you here, to Darrowby."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"A ghost of a smile tugged at his friend's lips. "Yes, well, sort of. It's obvious, isn't it?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;""Is it?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;""The TARDIS exchanged my life force for hers to keep me alive. I needed a place to dig in, to hide from some very unpleasant persona until we recovered. To keep me safe, my identity as the doctor was stored in the watch. Mind you, you should not have been able to open it, but when you did, all that I was came flooding back to me."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"James felt confused, getting the distinct feeling this TARDIS wasn't human. It must have shown on his face./p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;""My ship," this 'Doctor' elaborated, the explanation only adding to James' confusion. "Normally she tends to recuperate for a decade or so on her own. But because of the state we were in, we needed more time to recover. The Doctor shrugged. "We should be right as rain in about fifty years or so."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"James swallowed, a thought occurring to him. He crossed his arms, because damn it all to hell, if this em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"was/em Tristan's idea of a joke, he deserved a good mouth full. "And who is Tristan Farnon?" He couldn't hold back bitterness. "Doctor?" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;""I am."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;""Oh, are you now?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"His friend looked sad. "A little mind trick I performed with help from the TARDIS. Siegfried needed someone at the time, I needed a home. And a vet… Well, can you think of any other occupation that values all life, all creatures great and small so highly?" So my … ship pulled out the brother in me, gave us a history, gave Siegfried the sense he'd always had a brother and I became Tristan while she hid my real identity in the watch."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"James frowned, professional dedication clearing his mind of all other subject matter. "Wait a minute." Grief found an outlet. "Are you saying you could have cured them?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;""You're not listening, James. Nyssa and Tegan are okay. Although probably not too pleased about the way the TARDIS dropped them off at home before coming here."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;""I meant the cows, Tristan!" The name was out, before he realized what he was saying. The only name that felt appropriate right now. "Foot and Mouth! You could have saved most of the stock."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"He certainly looked as if he hadn't seen that one coming. "Well…" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;""Well, what?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;""No, no, not without proper equipment."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"James snorted. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;""No. The TARDIS is sleeping, James. I can't wake her, not yet. Also, my memory was swiss cheesed from the Farnon heritage she forced onto me and Siegfried. Lord knows why she made me a smoker. I genuinely had to go through vet school in order to recall even the most basic cures. I kept failing my exams because I was still recovering from the Mawdren onslaught. My relationship with you, the Dales and its people has grown like any other relationship in normal time. I might not be Siegfried's brother in blood, but in every other sense I am. It's as real as it can get."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;""And you're not going to tell him."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;""It'll kill him, you know that."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"James released a breath he hadn't known he was holding. It was span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanthe Tristan he knew who eyed him with apprehension. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;""em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"You're/em not going to tell him, are you?" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"Unable to come to terms with the loss he felt churning in his stomach, while for all intense and purposes Tristan stood alive and well in front of him, James pressed his lips together./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;""James?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;""Well, I don't know. How can I? It's not every day your best friend turns alien now is it?" James prided himself on being a man of integrity but couldn't, in all good consciousness, promise that this knowledge wouldn't drive him mad. "You'll leave someday."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;""As I said, it's going to take at least fifty years."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;""And the Doctor?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;""I'll bury him. Don't worry, no one will ever know. The TARDIS won't wake for half a century." The wisdom in his eyes faded, and the spark of mischief returned. But if James looked hard, the pain was there, covered by a happy go lucky if somewhat lazy country vet. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"More than anything James wanted to sustain the youthful twinkle he saw in this man's eyes, wanted the Tristan who gave Siegfried headaches, whose cheery disposition brought life to the Drover's, and who now and then caused the whole of Darrowby to go into an uproar. "So you want me to pretend nothing's happened. I can't tell anyone, not even Helen?" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"Tristan's smile faded, shattering the illusion that he was anyone other than Siegfried's brother. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"James nodded, accepting that this was going to be difficult, but not impossible. "And you will do what?" He couldn't help but sound sarcastic and let the grief show in his voice. "Take evening surgery?" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"The Doctor put a hand on his shoulder, their eyes locked. A flicker of regret surfaced on the man's face. "I'll live, James." Something pressed on his temples. Blue eyes watched him as they connected. em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"But I can't do this to you. Or to Siegfried. Life, James. That's what you have here, in the Dales, in Darrowby. As much as I feel empty sometimes, because so many chunks are missing from my passed and future. I found a home in Tristan. You, and Siegfried, you're too valuable… far too valuable span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanto him… to me." /emHe closed his eyes and James felt the world fading. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"Blackness pressed in, turned into a pinprick and exploded. And so did the heavy sadness inside him. He grieved for all this Doctor had lost, for all the sacrifices he had made, and for the one he gave James now. Then heavy sleep pulled him under, carrying consoling words in its wake. Words, he was sure now belonged to Tristan./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"Thank you, James. Now live… and forget./span/em/p
p class="MsoNormal"em style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;" /span/em/p
p class="MsoNormal"strongThe end/strong/p