Beta'd and Edited by The Evil Within

Chapter 18: Hail to the Chief, Baby

Let's make peace with our Maker! It's time for us to go to var!

-The Godslayer

Gods, goddesses, and angels of all stripes hurried out of Aqua's way as she stormed through the corridors of Headquarters, a snarl of pure rage on her face, hands balled into fists at her sides.

One particularly brave, or stupid, archangel swallowed, and attempted to bar her way. "Um, miss, this is the Chief's office, if you'll just have a seat I'll-"

"GODDESS REQUIEM!" Aqua roared, and decked the Archangel quite literally into next week, by way of hitting him into one of the halls of time, where he emerged the next Wednesday with a very sore jaw.

Striding up to the huge double doors that barred the way into the realm of the Chief Goddess, Aqua took a deep breath. Then, she set her jaw, rolled up her nonexistent sleeves, and shoved the doors wide open with a deafening bang.

"Aqua?!"

She spun, ready to harangue whoever was trying to stop her, but Aqua found herself looking at the tear stained face of her subordinate, Eris, Goddess of Fortune.

"Why are you here?" Aqua demanded bluntly.

Eris shied away at first, but then squared her shoulders and puffed out her chest, planting herself before Aqua. "They didn't call you here to berate me too, did they? Look, I'm not sorry! We saved Belzerg! I don't care how many rules I broke, or what they say, it was the right thing to do!"

Aqua tilted her head to one side. "You were fighting the Lord of the Tomb, weren't you? Kazuma said something about it. With Yunyun, and those kids from that world with quirks."

"I-um, yes. But listen, Aqua, I know it sounds crazy, but we drove the forces of Nazerick off of Belzerg! It's free now! I...I had to help! I know we were forbidden from going to the worlds conquered by the enemy, but I didn't have any choice! My followers, they NEEDED me!"

Quickly, Aqua nodded. "So, Upper Management called you here to chew you out too, huh?"

"Yes. But, Aqua, I'm not backing down! Even...even if I do get in trouble for what I did."

"Good. Come on. I'm going to go give the Chief a piece of my mind," Aqua snarled as she grabbed Eris by the wrist, snapping her from her defensive stance instantly.

"You what?!" Eris squeaked.

"Those kids did not deserve what was done to them! We should be rewarding them, not wiping their memories and shoving them back to their world!" Aqua snapped as she strode down the hall.

"Oh! Yes, yes, I agree with you!" Eris said eagerly, hurrying to keep up. "Without their help, I never could have managed to free Belzerg at last!"

"So, you're with me?" Aqua said grimly as they came to the final door, emblazoned with the symbol of the Chief Goddess: SOS.

"Yes," Eris agreed, taking a deep breath. "Too many of our followers have suffered for too long."

Aqua nodded. "Damn straight!"

She kicked the door open, striding into the room, where a large desk sat. On it was a placard that read, Chief Goddess: Comedy Division. Behind it was the Chief Goddess herself, talking on the phone as she twirled a pen in her hand, seemingly more interested in it than whoever she was talking to.

"Alright, you listen here!" Aqua shouted. "What you did to Kazuma and Midoriya and the others is-"

The Chief then held up the hand, still twirling the pen, and Aqua found every muscle in her body had frozen. She tried to move, tried to speak, tried to even blink, but found she couldn't.

"-right, thanks for understanding King Kai. Yes, I know it's unusual. But I'm really in a bind here. I appreciate the help from the Shonen office. Hopefully this is the end of Momonga and his rampage. If Alucard won't rein in his dominion, we'll just have to do it for him. No, I don't think we'll need anyone else. Yes, the BNHA cast should be enough. I owe you one. Haha. Yes, I know you can do comedy too. Thanks again. Uh huh. Say hi to Bubbles and Gregory for me. Bye now."

The Chief hung up the phone. Then she took a deep breath, pointing her pen at the two frozen goddesses, one through fear and the other by design. "Right. I suppose you two think this was somehow a good idea, don't you?" She absently crooked a finger at Aqua and Eris, causing Aqua to cry out and topple to the floor.

Aqua sprang to her feet, her face flushed in embarrassment and rage. "HOW DARE YOU!? After all we went through, you're Reincarnating my friends, and wiping the minds of Midoriya, Hatsume, Uraraka, AND Tokoyami?! That's unfair! Darkness and Tokoyami were in love! You can't just separate them! They get a wish for saving a world, those are our RULES!"

"That's right!" Eris agreed, coming to stand beside Aqua, her normally calm and polite demeanor gone in favor of her impudent and rude side. "You did the same thing to my group! Those kids fought and bled and even died for us, and you just sent them back without even a thank you! How dare you!"

The Chief gave Aqua and Eris a flat look. "Because I'm the Chief Goddess, and I created you, Aqua. As for you, Eris, you're just a jumped up mortal, and don't forget it."

"That doesn't change what you've done!" Aqua snapped.

"No, it doesn't. But those kids screwed up the entire Multiverse. I'd just about had Ainz and Nazerick contained, when that explosion ripped a hole in all my efforts. Now I've got dozens of worlds catching fire," the Chief explained. "So, those mortals should really just be grateful I didn't send them all to hell, or worse."

"This is no way to treat heroes who have saved realms!" Eris cried. "You can't just-"

"And as for you two," the Chief said, pulling out a sheet of paper from thin air. "Aqua. You hid four mortals in your apartments for centuries so you could play video games with them. Even for you, that's colossally stupid. And we both know that's a high bar to clear."

"But I-" Aqua tried to protest, but the Chief made a zipping motion with her fingers, and Aqua found her lips sealed shut.

"And you, Eris. You manifested yourself directly to help Adventurers you sent to a world that was strictly behind the Quarantine Zone, putting untold worlds at risk," the Chief stated. "Not to mention risking the death of another goddess."

"The quarantine was already broken!" Eris argued. "It was a chance to finally save what few living humans remained in that world! I had every right to-"

The Chief made another zipping motion and glared at the two now red faced goddesses. "I've had enough of this pointless conversation. Aqua, you're a lazy screw up who has caused me headache after headache. The only reason you haven't been demoted to an Angel in some random corner of Heaven is because you have managed to fix most of your own problems, and I'm not completely ungrateful that you've helped save several worlds. So, I'm not going to simply erase you. I'm going to do something a step above that. You'll be reincarnated as a mortal."

Aqua tried to scream, but couldn't. She frantically tried to move, but found herself bound in air once more.

"Eris. You're just a junior goddess; a mortal who got lucky. With your senior suspended, and I strongly suspect you helped her, especially with those illegal resurrections I've dug up, you're stripped of your divinity outright. You too shall be incarnated as a mortal."

Aqua found herself sobbing, the tears leaking out from her still locked face. Not because she was going to be a mortal now, but because this meant she'd never see Kazuma, Darkness, or Megumin again. This wasn't fair! She'd done her job! Even if she had broken a few rules, it had still worked!

"You'll keep a vestige of your powers, but since most of your followers are dead anyway I wouldn't expect much," the Chief said. "I could make it worse. Be grateful I'm showing you this much mercy with how much damage you could have done."

She snapped her fingers, and a side door opened in the air. Asahina, Director of Time, dressed in her traditional bunny girl outfit, stepped out.

"Yes, Chief Suzimya?"

"Get rid of these two," the Chief ordered. "I still have work to do."

"Of course," Asahina agreed. "The same as the others?"

"Yes," the Chief barked, waving her hand in irritation. Just as Asahina was carting the still bound Aqua and Eris away, the Chief raised a finger. "One moment. If the two of you, somehow, manage not to screw up this life I've given you and actually fulfill your duty as Goddesses, you can be reinstated. But one more screw up, and I'll reincarnate you both as cockroaches! Now get them out of here!"

Aqua whimpered as Asahina dragged her and Eris through the halls.

"Don't worry," Asahina whispered, giving Aqua a smile and a wink. "Haruhi's not as mad as she's acting. Good luck! We're rooting for both of you!"

Then she tapped Aqua on the forehead, and time escaped from her.

Back in the Office

The Chief waited until the door to her office was fully closed, separating it back into its own separate universe, before she allowed herself to act normally, throwing the pen away and mussing both hands through her hair.

"Aaagh, damnit damnit, DAMN IT! Stupid politics! Stupid balances of Karma and hidden plots and betrayal of superiors! Gah, I hate these routes! Where's the romantic hijinks alongside poorly translated comedy! Why is it nothing but drama and fight scenes!? I hate working with Shonen! They ruin a good thing!" Haruhi groaned, scrubbing her face with her hands as if to wipe away all signs of seriousness.

"Asuhina! Get me Ristarte and Seiya! We've got some work to do. And get Nagato on the horn! I don't know how much time we have to work with, even with that roll back!"

As was often the case with divinity, things never were quite what you expect.

Within the Great Tomb

A thousand banners from a myriad worlds hung from the enormous gilded marble columns of the Great Hall. Some represented fallen kingdoms that had bent the knee to Nazerick, submitting to the overwhelming might of the Lord of the Tomb, forswearing all gods in his name. Others were of gods or goddesses that had been slaughtered, their followers wiped out to the last. In the case of those who had bent the knee, often they too had been killed, if a bit more slowly.

Of course, for those who served the Great Tomb, death was frequently less than permanent.

Undead servitors lined the walls of the tomb, immoble and unfailing in their purpose of guarding their lord, who sat above them on his high seat. Upon the orihalcum throne sat a figure robed in black, a staff humming with great power in his hands. No flesh was there upon the Lord of the Tomb, long discarded and leaving his body to remain solely of bone, bound together and animated by his own supreme power.

Ainz Ooal Gown. The Lord of the Tomb had many names over the years of his conquest, but that was his most famous epitaph. Once, he had been but a mortal man, who felt the press of time and the weight of morality upon his heart and mind. No longer. He had been as he was now, an Overlord, the greatest of the Undead Sorcerer Kings, for time beyond mortal reckoning. At first, he had clung to his human morality and respect for life, but the evils he had committed to secure his place as uncontested ruler of his world had worn that sentimentality away like a stone in a river until it was not but a rapidly fading memory.

Before the ruler knelt a man in a pinstripe suit with silver spectacles that hid his eyes. His most notable physical feature was his long, silver tail, with long spikes at the end, but that was not his greatest weapon, nor were his fangs and claws. No, for Demiurge, his greatest tool was his mind, which was screaming in panic as he genuflected before his master.

"Report, Demiurge," The Lord of the Tomb commanded.

And what his lord commanded, Demiurge obeyed. He resisted the urge to lick his lips. "My Lord, the Pleiades are all slain. Sebas led them to their deaths; it seems he betrayed us for the sake of Touch Me at last. And he took Gargantua down with him. I barely fled Belzerg with my life, and my assets are destroyed. Victim's world is unresponsive, and likely gone to us. Cocytus and the Lizard men's worlds seems to have vanished entirely. We must presume them lost. Shalltear is alive again, but will take some time to recover from her resurrection. Albedo as well. The Fiore twins also fled their world, and yet live. And...and the Godslayer has been driven from the field."

"So. We have been driven back on all fronts. For the first time in centuries, the banners of the Great Tomb are in retreat," his Lord mused.

"Forgive me, my Lord. I reached too far," Demiurge said, pressing his forehead to the cool stone of the floor in submission. "When these new worlds opened to us, I saw opportunity. Instead, it was a trap."

"Perhaps. Rise, Demiurge. I still require your services on the battlefield. You will never resolve this issue while you kneel in supplication. You have earned a respite, for this time, thanks to your previous successes."

Feeling an overwhelming sense of relief, Demiurge rose to his feet. "Thank you, my Lord."

"Still, this is troubling," the Lord of the Tomb said, rubbing his chin. "What of the reports of Her?"

Demiurge did not need to ask of whom his master spoke. "The last report from the Pleiades world was that Aqua was likely there. That was why we sent forth Gargantua."

"That so-called goddess," Ainz hissed. "For centuries she has eluded me, refusing to even move beyond the Divine Realm. And now…"

There were sudden footsteps, the precise click of bootheels upon stone. Demiurge felt the same sense of dread he felt whenever his back was to the Godslayer as she walked down the hall. If there was one being in all the multiverse he feared, it was his master, who was cunning beyond all other Supreme Beings, and more powerful than most gods.

But if there was one creature he had nightmares of, it was the Godslayer.

"Lord Ainz. I have vord. Something new has happened." The Godslayer came to a halt just to the side of Demiurge, her boot heels clicking together in perfect military efficiency as she stood at attention, hands behind her back. Her uniform looked newly pressed, not a single wrinkle upon it.

"Field Marshal. We were just discussing you. Demiurge tells me you were forced into retreat."

"This is true. The goddess Ristarte and her champion took the field against me. I vould have beaten them again, but they brought something new to the fight. Four youths. From a vorld ve have never seen before," the Godslayer replied. Her diction was perfect, just a faint trace of an accent, which Demiurge knew for a fact she personally affected. She could speak with completely unaccented Japanese, or any other language, when she wished.

"More of those youths from another world, then. Describe them to me," the Lord of the Tomb ordered.

"They possess strange powers," the Godslayer stated. "Not magic. Something else. They called them 'Quirks'. At first I thought it to be these 'cheat' items that the goddesses give their lambs they send for us to slaughter. But it vas not that. I think that event tore open another barrier: they are from an entirely new set of vorlds. Just as ve vere."

"Upon my world, I found out their names," Demiurge added, happy to enlighten his Lord, even if he wasn't asked. "Ashido. Bakugo. Kirishima. Sero. They worked with a goddess and champions we long thought dead."

"Yes. There were forty two of them in all," Ainz nodded. "This my spies have uncovered. They appeared not long after the event. But I have revealed something else."

"Oh?" Demiurge asked, suddenly curious. The Godslayer waited impassively, still at attention, waiting upon the words of her master.

"Their world of origination," Ainz said, holding up a hand. Within it a blue and green sphere appeared, the image of a world. "It is not like these other worlds we have conquered. In my time as a mortal man, I would have called it a comic book world, or perhaps a shonen manga. It matters not. All these youths share one thing in common: they come from UA, the School of Heroes."

"A school for heroes?" Demiurge asked, startled, but the Godslayer was nodding.

"So that's vhere they are from," the Godslayer said, nodding. "Shonen. I should have known. Vell, vhat are your orders?"

"In their world, there are heroes. But where there are heroes, there are also villains. I am sending you both to this world to find those villains. I have sensed the movement of the damnable goddesses. They seek to plunder the strength of this world and turn its heroes against us. But I shall make them rue that day. Find the evil that lurks within that world, and make it serve us. We shall reduce it to ash, as we have with so many others. At long last, we shall slay the last of the gods, and only Nazarick will reign supreme in all the multiverse."

"Yes, my lord," Demiurge said with a bow.

Beside him, the Godslayer grinned. It turned her cute, almost innocent features into that of a demon, her blue eyes sparkling as she flicked aside a length of blond hair. "Then this vorld too shall learn to fear the name of Tanya von Degurechaff."

Demiurge shivered. Evil should look as he did, or as Lord Ainz. Not like a cute twenty-year old blonde human woman. But those blue eyes were colder than ice. And those delicate hands had slain gods.

What was one or two more?

The End of Season 1.

No, it's not the end of the story, but it is time for me to take a break. I've got big plans for Season 2 of This Goddess Must Be Crazy, and the scope of the story has gotten a wee bit out of hand. As should now be obvious, this is a Massively Multiplayer Crossover now, though the primary worlds are still MHA and Konosuba. In Season 2, we'll see the cast expect to include more favorites from both universes. There will be more wacky hijinks, but also some more serious chapters where we deal with the great cosmic war that has been raging, as well as just what happened back in Belzerg.

As for when Season 2 starts, you can expect updates to resume after a hiatus of about a month, so around mid August. There will be a single update around the end of July featuring one of the other Isekai Quartet Universes.