Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, or the show ^^

Hailey exited the station feeling angry, lost and sad. She knew she had done the right thing, but Voight's speech shook her. He was supposed to have her back on this, so why was he punishing her? She didn't want to go to New York. She didn't want to leave her team behind. It was all so confusing. Just the thought of going so far away from her city, from her team, from her partner…Just thinking about it made her sick. Inhaling deeply, she made the only reasonable decision she could think of.

A few minutes later, Hailey was standing in front of his door. Head bent, fist up ready to knock on the door, she took a deep breath. "It might not be such a good idea" she thought. She let her arm fall, turned around, took a few steps and stopped. She gathered all the little courage she had and went back to the door. She resumed the same position she had just before, fist ready to knock. She took another deep breath and knocked. A few seconds later, the door opened. If the look on his face was any indication, Jay was surprised to see her there. She smiled shyly in return, looking over his shoulder. Understanding her silent question, Jay opened the door wide enough for her to pass by him. Once Hailey was inside his apartment, he closed the door and watched her set her coat on the back of a kitchen stool. It felt natural, something she had done every time they hung out together. What was weird though was the way she was behaving. She was standing in the middle of his leaving-room, wringing her hands. They had become so close through the years that he couldn't even remember when was the last time he saw her so worried and uncomfortable in his apartment. Something was wrong. Jay didn't know what, and he didn't like it.

"What's going on Hailey?" he asked.

"I…I'm sorry I came, maybe I should just…" she didn't look at him when she talked. She went to grab her coat, ready to leave. Jay stopped her immediately, putting a hand on her arm.

"No." he said firmly. "You came to me for a reason, and you know I'll always be there for you Hails…Talk to me."

For the first time since she had arrived, they looked at each other. To Hailey, Jay seemed worried. To Jay, Hailey seemed sad and lost. Even though she was not really crying, her eyes were a little red, and that did not reassure him at all.

"Do you want a beer?" he asked her, going to the kitchen.

"Yes, please. I think a little liquid courage could help." She was still standing, absentmindedly playing with her hands.

He grabbed two bottles of beer in the fridge. She looked so nervous. Jay thought that he might need courage too. He set the drinks on the coffee table then turned to look at her. She hadn't really moved, so he gently grabbed her by the shoulders, guiding her to the couch.

"Sit" he said.

Once she was sat, he handed her the beer bottle and waited for her to speak. She drank a gulp or two before she opened her mouth.

"Voight's punishing me." She simply said, still not looking at him.

"What do you mean he's 'punishing' you?" Jay felt even more confused than before. He didn't know what she was talking about. The fact that she wouldn't even look at him didn't help. He needed to look in her eyes. Jay was good at reading her, he knew that…And from the way she kept avoiding making eye-contact with him, she did too.

"C'mon Hailey, look at me. Talk to me." He almost pleaded. But she wouldn't. He could see that she was trying to keep it all together. The grip she had on her bottle was so tight her knuckles were white. Attempting to make her focus on him, Jay gently prided the beer out her hands, setting it on the table. Then, he took both her hands in his. His soft touch surprised her. Snapping out her thoughts, she shifted on the couch so that she could face him. She opened her mouth, but no sound was coming out, so she closed it, inhaled and then opened it again.

"He's sending me to New York." She said, waiting for his reaction.

"What?" exclaimed quietly Jay, using the soft tone he had just for her . "Why?"

"He didn't like the way I acted. I told him that he would have done the same thing! But he got so mad…He actually yelled at me! Took me by surprise, maybe scared me a little too…He was so, so mad Jay…" she stopped to calm herself. Jay was looking at her, processing what she was saying. None of them spoke for some time, both lost in their thoughts.

"I don't want to go there" Hailey was the first one to break the silence. She continued in a soft voice, "I love Chicago, it's my city. I love the pizzas, and the team and…" she caught herself right on time, "I just don't want to leave."

Since they were still holding hands, Jay squeezed her fingers once before starting to rub them softly.

"I know Hailey. And…I don't want you to go…I mean, I know you'll miss the pizzas…" he said, trying to lighten the mood. It seemed to work because his partner chuckled a little, a small smile gracing her face.

"You're right, nothing like a good pizza to make my world go round."

They let out a small laugh before sobering up.

"How long?" asked Jay.

"I don't know…He didn't say…"

"Oh…Ok." He didn't like that answer. "It will be ok. You're gonna have fun there. But don't get too much fun, ok? We don't want you to actually stay in New York." Jay wasn't sure where he was going with this. He wanted to lighten the mood, but he knew he was not ok with her going so far away from him. They had become so close. Since his last visit to the hospital, he had started to understand that his feelings for her went a little deeper than he wanted to believe.

"I know," she smiled. "We're good together."

"Yeah, we are" he chanced looking at her. He suddenly felt very shy. He could see that he wasn't the only one, based on the red flush on her cheeks. Jay didn't know if he was supposed to speak or if he should let her do the talking. This might be his only chance to actually open up…But did he really want to? He cleared his throat anyway. "Hmm, Hailey, I…"

"Jay…" She said at the same time. They let out a small uneasy laugh, letting go of the hold they still had on each other's hands.

"You go first," said Jay, motioning for her to go on.

"No, you go." She countered.

"You sure?" she nodded her answer, so he went on, "OK. Here goes nothing…I…Hailey…I…" he stuttered. What was wrong with them? Gathering some strength, he exhaled once before continuing, "Remember the last time I got shot?" She just stared at him, not sure what he meant. "When I opened my eyes and I saw you there, right beside me, I was happy. Really happy to know that you had my back."

"I knew I had to be there. You would've bolted out of the hospital" she said jokingly.

"You don't know that!" he acted offended. "But anyway…" he grabbed her hands to show her that he was being serious. "You're always there, Hailey."

"You're my partner. I'll always have your back."

"I know that, but…I guess what I'm trying to say is that…It matters to me."

"It matters to me too…I was so scared that day. I thought I was going to lose you." Just thinking about it brought tears to her eyes.

"You didn't. Lose me I mean. You'd never lose me."

"Good."

"I guess what I'm trying to say is that…" He took a deep breath, gripped her hands a little more tightly, and looked her straight in the eyes. "You matter to me Hailey. I can't lose you."

"But you won't Jay…We'll just be in different cities for a little while. I'll come back to you. Remember? I'd follow you anywhere, Jay."

"But you're the one leaving, Hails."

"Not willingly! Voight is making me leave! But I'll come back to you. I promise." She was staring at him, looking at him right in the eyes as she said that. Of course, he was staring right back. Both were feeling a little emotional at that moment.

"Hailey, I…When are you leaving?"

"Tomorrow."

"Oh…Ok…"

They sat there for a while. Leaning against the back of the couch, holding hands drinking their beers. As sad as they felt, they were enjoying this silent moment together. Once she was finished, Hailey moved to set her bottle on the table, and letting herself fall back against the couch she stated, "I…I should be going." She didn't move though.

Halstead turned to look at her, squeezing the hand he was still holding tightly.

"You don't have to."

"I have to pack."

"It can wait. You don't have to leave right now…please?" he was giving her the cute puppy look. She couldn't resist that face, so she stayed. They sat there a little longer, in silence. She finally let go of him and got up.

"Ok, it's getting late." She went to grab her coat, but Jay stopped her movement, touching her wrist.

"Hailey," he started. "I think I wasn't clear earlier. I don't know if I should say that, but I feel like if I don't get it off my chest, I might never have the chance, and with you going to New York and…"

"Jay, you're ranting." Interrupted Hailey. "Just say what you want to say."

He breathed in deeply and let all the air out. "I'm going to miss you Hailey."

For some reason, this was not what she expected to hear. She half smiled at him, put on her coat and headed for the door. Hand on the handle, she turned back to look one last time at him. He was closer than she thought, and it startled her. In fact, he was standing right behind her, looking like a lost puppy or something. She trained her eyes on his, trying to read deep into his soul.

"See you, Jay." As soon as she finished her short sentence, she opened the door and got out. She was afraid that if she didn't leave now, she would stay with him, and probably never leave.

When the door closed, Hailey leaned against it. She wanted to kiss him in there. She almost did but knew that it wasn't the right time. She exhaled, pressed a hand to her face, willing the tears to go away. Two minutes later, she was out of his building.

When the door closed, Jay rested his forehead against it. Why didn't he have the courage to just tell her. He wanted to express his feelings. He couldn't let her leave like that…What if she never came back? He punched the door once, before going back to his couch. He let himself fall into it, throwing his head back, eyes closed, pinching the bridge of his nose. Why couldn't he just tell her how he felt?