When a particularly over friendly Morty had told a bunch of Mortys to meet him at the Creepy Morty during the presidential speech, they had expected more of a party. Like a watch party where they could all watch the stream and support their president. But it didn't seem like the place was ready for a party, or really any kind of social gathering. No decorations, no streamers, no confetti, not even any balloons. The harsh flickering lights overhead revealed that the room was grimy and unkept and none of the TV screens were even on. The air held a smell, like a refrigerator that hadn't been cleaned in months. And most importantly none of them could see any food out, so it definitely couldn't be any kind of party.

Or maybe the biggest indicator that this was no party and they had been tricked was that there were two Ricks there with all of them. One Rick dressed in a police officer uniform stood guard at the entrance, hands behind his back, carefully scanning the room. The other Rick the Mortys recognized as the one that ran the Morty Daycare, and he was leaning up against the back wall, arms crossed, with an impatient look on his face.

It was hard to say what the clue that tipped them off was, but most of them had a gut feeling that they had gotten themselves into some sort of trouble. Some were just confused. But the vibes in the room made them all feel uneasy.

When a portal opened up next to Storage Rick, all he said was, "Alright come on," and made a casual buzz off motion. As though they were going to just waltz through the portal to who knows where? He was crazy if he thought that would work. Oh well, okay of course he was crazy, all Ricks were but if he thought they were that stupid he had another thing coming. One Morty was about to take the bait but was stopped by another, who sighed and shook his head.

"I-I-I don't-urp- don't have all night, come on."

The one blocking the exit found his voice. "Morty, he's just messing with you, really it's okay. We're taking all of you somewhere safe. I promise. You have to trust me."

"I don't have to trust jack!"

A few of them tried to rush the cop and burst out the entrance, but the doors were shut hard and fast, and no amount of pushing, shoving, or slamming his small spaghetti noodle strength against them did any good.

They must have been taking too long, because the portal closed.

"Ugh," Storage Rick groaned, "This is taking forever. Why can't it ever be easy with you dingbats? J-j-just walk through the damn portal! That-that's all we're asking you to do. Y-y-you're a real- a real piece of work Morty."

"O-oh? L-l-like you're so easy to deal with Rick?" "Y-yeah R-rick you're no- no picnic either!" "Why would we walk through some portal with you?" "Just look-look what happened last time we did that!"

Another portal opened in place of the last one.

One Morty that was feeling particularly brave, got up on one of the tables and tried to attract attention to himself. "Guys, guys!"

"What?"

"W-w-ell, I-I think we should, go with them."

"Why?" "W-why should we?" "Are-are you crazy?" "No! No way!"

"B-because th-this sucks! I hate it here, we all hate it here, and-and I don't think whatever is on the other side of that portal could be any worse than this!" he gestured vaguely in front of him.

"Uh, y-you mean the building?" "Don't-don't knock my business."

He sighed, exasperated with himself. Himselves. "What? No! Like-like everything is terrible! And he," Morty pointed to the one in uniform,"he said he wants to help us."

"He's a Rick" "He's lying" "He's a liar"

He hopped down from the table and walked with purpose in every step and brought himself closer and closer until he was bathed in the green light. "Frankly, I-I don't care! I-I see that portal and I see a chance to leave and I'm taking it!" With that he marched forward right through the portal.

And it wasn't long before he came back, but with a big smile on his face. "Guys come on, you gotta see what's through here!"

Linking hands with one Morty led to him grabbing another Morty's hand until the room was one long hand holding chain of Mortys, and the first one took the initiative to fling himself back into the portal, and the enersa pushed the rest of them with him, falling through one after another like dominos. Once they had clamored off of each other and got up they were surprised to see that they were just in a house.

A normal looking house at that.

The odd part? Was the Rick, that most of them had heard their Ricks refer to as Doofus Rick, stood there with a big smile to greet them.

"Alright, that-that's it. That's all of 'em." Storage Rick announced as he and Cop Rick walked in as the portal closed.

"Welcome Morty! Or I-I suppose I should say Mortys plural since there are more than one of you," He fumbled his greeting every time, a mix of excitement and nerves kept him from being confident in what to say. "I'm Rick J-19-Zeta-7, but uh," he sighed in defeat, "you-you can call me Doof."

There were a few Mortys that awkwardly waved back at him, but most of them were just looking around, confused by everything.

"W-we all have stupid names, you think I like being known as Storage Rick?"

"If you would like, you can call me Cop."

"W-w-why? T-theres no nuance or thought to it, it's just your occupation being used as a name. It doesn't even roll off the tongue. It's stupid. Doof, Cop, and Storage, the fucking-'

"Language,"

"The fucking dwarves that didn't make it into Snow White because their names were so ricdicously stupid."

Cop crossed his arms and shot Storage a look that politely told him to shut up, then nodded to Doof to indicate that he should keep going.

"S-so the first thing we need to do is just run some diagnostics, update any of the vaccines that you may need, and even though I tend to give them out in the morning I will give you your vitamins as well."

"L-let's begin shall we? House could y-"

"Yes, I know what to do."

When the house spoke, most of them jumped right out of their skin. They weren't sure how but it was like the walls, the ceiling, the embodiment of the house itself had a voice. It sounded a little familiar and it was unsettling.

"Y-your- uh, your house just-"

"W-w-why does your house talk?"

"I-I knew something was going to- going to be wrong here!"

"Aw geez."

Storage Rick laughed at their expense.

"I-It gets them every time!"

"Don't worry Morty, it's only the artificial intelligence Doof's installed in his house. It's supposed to talk, it's a lot like non-corporational Alexa or Google Home."

"Y-Yes, exactly, you can ask her anything from anywhere while you're inside. Well, unless, uh, not-not if you're in the bathroom. She can't detect you in there."

They were asked to move down through the hall single file and after being scanned, poked, pricked, and prodded by mechanical arms, Doofus Rick each individual a little cup full of a viscous highlighter orange liquid that smelled like the peel of an orange and tasted like sidewalk chalk. "S-sorry about the impromptu check up, we just need to make sure we keep you all healthy."

Doof had called for them all to make themselves at home in the living room which was rather spacious, but Morty wasn't so sure it was big enough for all of them. For the most part, it looked rather plain. A couch against the back wall, loveseat along the other, and a recliner across from that, all matching, as though a part of a set. Same for the coffee table and end tables. The walls had built-in shelves filled with books, and a few potted plants. No TV to speak of, but there was a screen in front of the room that didn't appear to be attached to anything with text that was too small to decipher from far away. Plus, all three Ricks were gathered in front, obstructing their view, so there really was no hope of trying to read it anyway.

Some sitting, some standing, all the new Mortys waited for Rick, any of them to start talking. Doofus Rick turned and smiled at them.

"S-so I suppose I-I should start by welcoming you all to your new home! I-I real-really hope you like living here!" Morty didn't have anything to say apparently, so he continued on. "T-the hard part is over, and now we can talk about the fun stuff, like, designing your bedrooms. And of course choosing what the other Mortys have decided to call their "Public Identities". M-many of you will be living here, h-however people in my dimension are not aware that the multiverse theory is more than a theory, s-so we have to ask you to make personas you'll use when you leave the house. But of-of course, I-I think it's much easier to show you what I mean r-rather than try to explain it."

"W-wait, what-what do you mean we'll be living here?"

"Y-yeah, can-can't you just send us to our dimensions?" "I miss my parents." "Aw geez, me too."

"I want to go home." "I miss Summer."

Gosh darn, he thought he could avoid having this conversation if he ploughed through everything as fast as possible. "Oh Morty, of-of course I-I understand you're homesick b-but I-"

"L-look kid, if we could just send you back where you came from and n-never see your neckless mugs again we would."

"T-that was actually the original plan. This was- my house was meant to be m-more of a waiting station while we prepared to bring you home."

"It seems as though we've hit a snag, and we must ask that you stay here instead." Cop completed the thought for Doof.

"A snag?"

"He means there- we have a problem."

Morty sighed in frustration. "I knew what he meant. I just want to know what the problem is."

Doof ran a hand through his bowl cut, "I-I just, oh gosh, I don't know how to say it."

"Y-you don't have families to go back to M-morty, someone or something is traveling between dimensions and killing them. It-it's brutal and we don't know who-"

"W-Why-"

"Or how. But do not fret, we will discover who is responsible and bring them to justice." Cop had this determination in his voice that was almost convincing.

"S-so," Doof clapped his hands together, no longer wishing to continue that particular conversation, "Now we can- we will visit some of the Mortys that already live here."

He had them follow him through the dining room. It was almost as boring as the living room, with a table and chairs as most dining rooms would have, but there was one thing that was eye-catching. Next to the sliding door that doubled as a window there was a display case with a tea set inside, but it didn't look like any fine china that they had seen before. That wasn't a bad thing, the kettle, cups, and plates all seemed to be made expertly but each piece was so different and colorful but they all still looked like they were meant to be together.

Glancing over the kitchen, which like the other rooms was big, big enough to have an island, all they saw were things like cupboards, drawers, a fridge, an oven, just normal kitchen stuff, nothing of interest at all. Nothing bright or fun, it all just looked well organized and practical. However, it smelled amazing, reminding them of how hungry they really were.

"H-hey, come-come on, we don't have all night, chop chop." Storage snapped, motioning for the boys to follow him and the other two Ricks towards the door to the left of the refrigerator. All that did was bring them to a garage. Or at least that was what they thought, until Doof pressed on one of the bricks on the wall and it opened up like an elevator door, even with a soft little "ding, once the doors were completely open. That was when they realized it wasn't like an elevator, it was an elevator. A huge elevator.

"I-I think we can all fit!" Doof called, already in the back.

"Squeeze in and make room, or I will make you," Storage threatened.

Cop waited until he was sure everyone had made it in before stepping inside. "It might be a little tight but you probably won't all be taking it all at the same time again." He went ahead and decided they would go down just one floor, all they needed were a few examples. The elevator gave them a smooth ride, but they could feel the pull of gravity as the elevator moved downward.

Since everyone else was being too sheepish to ask, one Morty asked, "W-w-where are we going?"

"S-stop asking so many questions."

"Storage, Morty can ask as many questions as he wants."

When the doors opened again, they all shuffled out into a long hallway with twelve doors total, six on each side, and what looked like bathrooms at the end. It looked like a college dorm.

"Since you'll be living here, I, uh just thought it-it would be- I thought we could show you what your bedrooms could be like. W-we make each floor plan the same, each room is 11'X12' and of-of course that-that doesn't include the 5'X5' closet space. Then each room has a bed, nightstand, a dresser, and a desk for schoolwork. But from there," a smile spread across his face and there was a sparkle in his eyes, "You get to decide what you want your room to be! And-and," he was so excited he seemed to be having trouble forming words, "We'll show you."

He knocked to the tune of, "Shave and a Haircut" on one door and it swung open almost immediately. But that room didn't look like the room he had just described. Well, maybe it was the size Doof had mentioned, Morty was never sure how to measure distances, but it had none of the furniture he mentioned and it was filled with art supplies. Shelves and shelves of things like sketch books, art how to guides, art history books, canisters filled with pencils, pens, markers, colored pencils, and paint brushes. One wall was only different types of paint, oil, water color, pastels, acrylic, each with its own rainbow of color to choose from. An artist's desk sat in the corner with a stack of papers on top, and a stack of blank canvases on the floor, and a pile of painted canvases next to those, and in the center of the room was an easel with the canvas facing toward the best part of the room, the window. The entirety of the back wall of the room was an impressively crystal clear window, overlooking a garden, bringing in beautiful streams of golden light showering the entire room.

"H-hi Artist Morty, is it alright if we show the new Morty's your room?"

"Oh-oh of course, come in!" The paint splattered boy grabbed Rick's arm and pulled him in. "I-I need more eyes on my latest project. I'm trying something new, it-it's rather abstract."

Doof appreciated art, but he had difficulty understanding or putting his own meaning to it, so he just looked at it objectively and tried to offer compliments that way. This had lots of green swirls in the background, with floating blue triangles and yellow orbs in it's mist. "I like the contrasting colors, it's visually compelling."

A Morty in a purple shirt walked up behind them "I-I know this feeling, this-this is that feeling you get when you walk through a portal."

Artist Morty was very excited someone understood his art, even if it was, well, himself.

"H-hey, are-aren't you worried about getting paint everywhere?" Morty asked, realizing there was nothing covering the floor to protect it.

"Nope! N-nothing stains, not-not even my clothes!"

"Oh yes, I-I was very careful to make everything stain resistant for you guys."

One Morty who was always a little cold couldn't help but feel drawn to the window, enjoying the warmth he could feel radiating from the sun. Something about it was off, but he couldn't quite place what it was.

Suddenly they heard music, generic electro dance pop to be exact, crashed in like a wave, drawing Doof and the new Mortys back into the hall. Storage Rick was standing next to the door that was the source of the music, which was a dark room, illuminated by rave lights, and a floor divided into big square tiles, that each lit up a different color as the Morty in cut off jean shorts moved across them. He had been so caught up in his own enjoyment that he hadn't realized he had gathered an audience.

"Yeah! Fuck it up Good Time Morty!" Storage Rick shouted, but it was hard to tell if it was in earnest or in jest. The Morty inside didn't seem to mind either way, continuing to dance his cares away even after seeing the crowd gathered in the doorway.

After Storage shut the door, they noticed they couldn't hear any noise at all, even though they knew his music was overwhelmingly loud. "T-the best part, all of these rooms? Completely soundproof."

"W-woah I-I liked his room, it looked like fun," the Morty still dressed in 2018 New Years garb spoke up.

"Oh gee, I-I don't know, it-it was a little overwhelming."

Cop thought for a second, and he knew which Morty's room would be nice and calm, and a good demonstration of what they could really do with a room. He knocked three times and a Morty with long, shoulder length locks and a tie-dyed shirt opened up the door.

"Rick, what's up man?"

"Hippie Morty, would it be alright if we showed the new Mortys your room?"

"Of course, come on in, it-its not my room, no one can own a room. Ownership means nothing man, that-thats how they get you. How the man keeps you down."

When he opened the door and let them in, the Mortys weren't so sure if it was a room at all because, well, as far as they could tell they were outside. Long lush green grass covering the ground, trees and flowers in the distance, and a big endless sky without a cloud in sight. Stars shined down through the deep rich navy night and a crescent moon beamed down. However, the glow of the fire he had going was the brightest thing in the, uh, space. A slight breeze brushed past all of them.

"H-howdy sheriff." A Morty dawning a ten gallon hat was sitting on the ground behind the fire and leaned over so he could get a peak at Rick and the new Morty.

"Good evening Cowboy Morty, I almost didn't see you there." he went ahead and took a seat next to him.

Quick to notice the watch still on Hippie Morty's arm Doofus Rick prompted, "D-do you think you could show your "Public Identity" to the new guys if you aren't too busy?"

"Sure man, h-hold on." After twisting the face of the watch he was wearing left, right, left again, he suddenly shapeshifted, which almost looked frightening in the firelight. He became taller, lankier, his hair changed to a sandy blonde, he had some scraggly facial hair on his chin, an actual neck, wore baggy jeans and an oversized tie-dyed hoodie. "S-see?" he spoke, but the voice was no longer one of a Morty. "Like, I made mine an extension of my very essence." With that he twisted the watch and switched himself back.

Storage said, "W-we made the watches based on the one from that m-movie Megamind. D-does that scan? Y-you guys know that movie?"

Most of them nodded.

"We did make a few changes, however, we made it so the voice changed with the disguise, and made it so you could lock it in so it couldn't be bumped and changed by accident." Cop explained.

"W-what are you two up to, are-are we interrupting?" Doof asked, being the last one to move his way in, being sure to close up the door again so the ambiance wasn't ruined by the fluorescent light of the hall.

"No, no, don't worry we're just vibing."

"Reminiscin'."

Storage Rick shook his head and sat down. "Just-just sitting around the fire? R-really? I'll tell you what were going to do, w-were going to take advantage of this creepy ass atmosphere, and I'm going to retell a famous horror story."

"Y-you're going to tell us a story?"

"T-this isn't a nice story M-morty. And I'm not telling it verbatim, I-I'm only summing it up for you. Now shut up, sit on the fake grass, and listen. It-it's called The Veldt."

"By Ray Bradbury? Oh that-that's a good one." Doof smiled as he settled in next to the Mortys.

Cop squinted at him and furrowed his brow in suspicion. "Huh, how relevant."

"Quiet. This family had a house that could do anything. It-it did everything for them and the parents became lazy, useless, wastes of space, while the children turned into s-spoiled little monsters. The nursery was built so it could show anything they could possibly ask for with screens making up all the surfaces of the room. A lot like the room we're in right now."

"Wait, Rick, are-are you saying all of this, these-these are just screens?"

Storage threw up his hands. "O-of course they are, did-did you think that we just magically ended up outside?"

"I-I think the story describes it as crystals installed in the walls," Doof interjected.

"A-anyway," Choosing to ignore the correction, he continued. "One day the parents discovered the children had been f-focusing on Africa a little too much. Watching lions eat their prey. S-since that-that's pretty fucked up, they asked a psychologist what it meant, who told them they sucked at being parents. The house provided for the children and was replacing them as the caretaker. Which meant their kids were going absolutely batshit insane l-losing touch with reality, with their humanity. Something was off about that nursery too, n-not only did the African veldt look and feel too realistic for comfort, b-but the father found a wallet of his all chewed up and covered in saliva." The fire crackled as he took a pause for dramatic effect.

"W-When the parents threatened to turn off the house so they could all live like normal people, tie their own shoes, cook their own eggs, the children were pissed. They never had to lift a finger the way things were, and they were way too attached to the house. S-So you know what those rotten kids did?"

He scanned the room, but the Mortys only shook their heads.

"T-they locked their parents in the nursery!"

He was met by a bunch of blank stares.

"And?'

"What-what do you mean?"

"W-well, what happened to their parents?"

"T-the lions fucking ate them Morty. T-that's it. That-that's the story."

"B-but the lions weren't real, were they?"

Cop spoke up. "The lions weren't supposed to be real, but the room was malfunctioning and the lions came to life."

"O-or it was working too well." Storage retorted.

"A-are you saying that could happen t-to us?" Glancing around the all too realistic outdoor setting.

Doof placed a hand on Morty's head. "Oh no Morty, of course not! It's only a story, these rooms are very safe, I-I promise."

Hippie Morty, feeling somewhat nervous now, stood up and pressed a panel on the wall, and slowly the once robust landscape faded away and in its place was an ordinary bedroom. Except for the overly bright paint job, with harsh yellow, neon pink, and lime green in a spiral, matching the dye job on his shirt, the shag carpet was green, but no longer a beautiful grass green, but a pea green. His nightstand and desk both had a rough aesthetic and still had a fresh scent. The bedspread was just as bright as the walls but with a rainbow tie-dye job rather than just a few colors. One thing the Mortys were shocked to see still there was the fire.

"W-wait, you just-just have a fire going in here?" It seemed like the exact opposite of safe.

"No need to panic-" Cop couldn't finish before Storage kicked over the shallow pan they had been utilizing as a fire pit, only for nothing to happen. The fire went out rather than spread. "Everything is fire retardant, just in case."

Before they knew it, they were all being ushered back into the elevator and down even further. However, this time when they stopped, Cop asked for twelve of them to follow him, while the other eleven went down another level with Doof and Storage.

Cop Rick cleared his throat and stood tall and firm with his hands behind his back as he spoke. "This will be the floor you all live on, each room is fully furnished and we have provided clothing as well. Right now all of them are the same so it does not matter which one you choose, it will matter once you have finalized the design you would like, feel free to visit other Mortys and take your time deciding. Right now, we would like all of you to shower and change into clean clothes and meet us back upstairs afterwards. Any questions, comments, or scathing inditements?" Morty did not know what that last word meant, but he decided it was best to just go ahead and shower and change like he had been asked.

Who knew being clean could feel so good? Showering, actually showering with warm water and soap was so much better than being sprayed with icy water from a hose. He had forgotten what it was like. Same with wearing clean clothes. The yellow pajama top and bottoms he found laid out for him on his bed smelled fresh and were so soft. If Doof hadn't told him there would be food waiting for him upstairs when he was ready, he could have fallen asleep right then.

Thank goodness he didn't. He was starving, they all were. Salad, soup, dinner rolls, mashed potatoes, something called green bean casserole, an apple, and meatloaf as the entree, he ate it all with vigor. Morty wasn't even sure he tasted any of it, he just faded in and out of consciousness as he gorged himself, only coming back to life to put more on his plate. Each of him ate that same way until every single edible thing Rick had placed on the table disappeared. Finally Doofus Rick gave them each a slice of chocolate cake. It was so rich in taste but light and airy in texture, maybe it was just that he couldn't remember the last time he had dessert but it was possibly the best cake he had ever eaten.

"Rick- uh, Doof, did you make this cake yourself?"

"N-not just the cake Morty, I-I made everything myself." He cheerfully answered. "I love cooking a-and baking."

"Hey, m-me too! Y-you think I could help sometime?"

"Oh gosh sure if you want to Morty, tomorrow morning I'll be up early making cinnamon rolls."

"Holy shit-"

"Watch your profanity-" Cop started, but he caught himself, raising his unibrow and turning to Doof, "Wait did you say cinnamon rolls?"

"Y-yes, I figure it's a special occasion, s-so I thought I-I should make my homemade cinnamon rolls."

"Those are very good."

"Oh man, y-you lucky bastards-"

"D-don't feel left outI will make enough for everyone," Doof couldn't help but giggle at how excited they got over baked goods. "N-ow M-mortys, I do think it is time for you to go to bed, it is already late and you had a big day. We can- we could come down with you and tuck you in if you would like."

All the Mortys were exhausted, and he could see it, especially now that they were clean and fed, all they wanted was to crawl into those full sized beds and pass out.

"N-no that-that's okay." "W-we got it." "Thanks anyway."

"I-" he yawned, "I can put myself to bed."

"O-okay, well, goodnight, sleep tight. See you in the morning!"