For Athena (MotherOfAnnabeth) on Quotev :)

Sorry for the hiatus! Things got hectic in my life and I got a little side-tracked with some other writing commitments. The upgrades on this work will be a bit slower from now on as I'm working on some other SWTCW fics and other stuff.

If anyone is up for helping me out with as a co-writer/beta reader on this series, then hit me up! I could definitely use the motivation and a second pair of eyes.

Chapter 19: Commander Rex, during 'Old Friends Not Forgotten' and after 'Victory and Death' (SPOILERS)

Distance not only gives nostalgia, but also perspective.

Rex struggled to keep the grin off his face when Ahsoka walked towards him to board the gunship. Sure, she had grown up a lot over the past few months away from the GAR, and she'd looked nothing but serious since she'd been on the cruiser, but it really was just like old times.

"You've been promoted." She said, matching his grin with one of her own. Her lips were darker, more filled out. "Congratulations, Commander Rex."

The smile fell off his face. Since he was a cadet, Rex wanted to become a Commander, but now it didn't feel right. Anakin had purposefully not promoted him after Ahsoka's departure because they didn't want to pretend that she was never there. Nobody wanted to replace her.

Commander was her title, not his.

"Did they make you General?" He asks hopefully as they stepped onto the gunship.

She scoffed, "I'm an advisor," she used an accent that Rex didn't recognise, but it was clear that she wasn't exactly pleased. "Got to do what I say, Rexster."

"Yes, sir." He quipped cheekily, enjoying her eye roll in response. Somehow, her eyes were smaller than before, but he gave that to her being less eager to learn things. "Any tips for the new position?"

"Do exactly what you've already been doing." She told him, "You're the best and most experienced CO to lead this siege, Rex. Anakin put faith in you, and so have I." The flattery was a nice reminder of the times they used to hype each other, but he was never usually the one who needed convincing that they were capable.

"More experienced than the Generals?" He asked, raising a brow.

He wasn't expecting her to scoff, "The Jedi have spent half of the time in this war just playing politics." Her dislike towards the Order was new, but not unexpected.

"I don't know how to be a Commander for the men, Ahsoka." He said, still protesting his promotion. "They have more faith in you than they'll ever have in me?"

"Right… the former Commander who was trailed for terrorism and murder?" She leaned towards him, giving him that cocky smile that he had missed so much.

"Remember it was you who first showed me the ropes on Christophsis, Rexster. Everything else I learnt about my role was taught to me by other clone Commanders; Wolffe, Cody, even Fox." Her smile faded at the mention of the Coruscant Guard officer who chased her around the city.

"Don't look at me like that, Rexster." She said, looking up at him through her lashes, "You're giving me the same look the Council gave me after my trial."

"It's a look of guilt." He told her, naturally stiffening from the seriousness of this conversation, "Guilt that I let them hunt you down- that I joined in- when I knew you hadn't committed any of the crimes they accused you of."

She was silent for a few minutes before she turned her head away, "Maybe… we should talk about this later."

Had she tried to avoid a conversation like this earlier in her military career, Rex would've pushed her to speak in the moment, but now she wasn't his CO; she was his friend. When Bo-Katan boarded, the tension between them could just about be ignored as the Mandalorian warrior addressed her soldiers.

In the corner of his eye, Rex could see Ahsoka was thinking about what he said, and he regretted bringing up her trial at all. They were about to deploy into possibly one of the most important missions of the entire war, and they couldn't afford any distractions, no matter how much he needed to speak to her.

He noticed Ahsoka didn't have to reach so far to grab the overhead straps, and he swallowed the urge to tell her to hold on as the gunship lifted out of the cruiser. She looked equal parts beautiful, powerful and experienced as she overlooked Bo-Katan's holomap of the city.

She wasn't the naïve kid that he met on Christophsis several years prior, but she also wasn't as battle-hardened as he remembered her being before the Temple bombing. There was a softness to her gaze, like she was examining this upcoming siege with a different perspective than she used to have when she was at Skywalker's side.

"Ahsoka." He said her name lowly, drawing her attention to him, "Are you battle ready?" She frowned, gesturing to the lightsabers on her belt. That wasn't what he meant. "When was the last time you fought?"

She rolled her eyes at his concern- still cheeky even after she had matured, "I haven't exactly been a pacifist in my time away from the Order. I've kept myself busy and fit." As if to prove a point, she flexed her free arm, showing off her sharply defined biceps.

"Yeah?" Rex reached out- enjoying the teasing, especially now there was no tension between them- and grabbed her bicep. He dug his fingers into her arm which made her squirm and writhe. "Hm, I don't believe you."

"Tough enough to take you on." She leapt at him, managing to get him into a reverse chokehold in front of Bo-Katan and the clones. It was slightly embarrassing, but Rex didn't care.

This is what he had missed so much. He remembered the last few months before Ahsoka left, and how she, him and Fives would make the worst puns they could whilst being deployed. The good old days.

"Brat." He said over his shoulder, breaking her hold and straightening his pauldron. He scoffed, "And here I was thinking you had grown up."

She pulled a face at him, "As if you want me to grow up." He didn't, mostly because it only reminded him of how old he was getting, if his sore joints didn't remind him enough.

He leaned back to scan her body up and down, "You couldn't gain another half foot if you tried, kid." He hadn't used that nickname in a while. He couldn't even say it to shinies without getting choked up.

He pointed at her lekku that were nearly reaching her waist, "These things must get in your way. You're getting old."

She feigned offence, "Me? Have you seen your wrinkles?"

"Blame your Master for these wrinkles." Immediately, he realised his mistake, "Sorry, I didn't think-"

"It's fine." She waved a hand, dismissing his apology, "Anakin will always be my Master to me, no matter what." She frowned, "I didn't really get the chance to speak to him."

"You'll have to when this is over." He said, matching her frown as he leaned closer to her, "He's been… weird recently."

"How so?" Ahsoka was probably under the same impression that nothing could beat the invincible Anakin Skywalker. Rex had been like that as well, for a long time, until recently.

"Too calm at times." Her eyes widened in worry slightly, "Then, he gets too worked up."

So worked up that Rex was sometimes fearful of the General's lightsaber when it wasn't even in his hand. His actions on Yerbana where he had the entire 501st hidden under a bridge for nearly thirty minutes whilst he negotiated with the Seps was very… unlike Skywalker.

Ahsoka cocked her head, worry already etched onto her features. He regretted bringing it up. He needed her full attention now more than ever, and he'd kriffed up by bringing Skywalker into it. Still, Skywalker needed someone- like Ahsoka- to put him back in his place.

"He's been a part of this war for too long. I'll always regret not asking him to come with me."

"You were going to ask him to leave?" Rex asked, surprised.

"For a moment." She glanced out of the gaps in the gunship doors, "He said he… understood what I was feeling, and that he had wanted to leave as well, before." Her gaze returned to Rex's, sadness swimming in her eyes which only used to harbour happiness. "I'll never forgive myself for not coming back to say goodbye."

He would be lying if he said he wasn't sad that Ahsoka never visited him after making her decision to leave. He was worried more than upset. Worried he hadn't taught her well enough to be able to survive on her own. Worried she would blame him for not trying harder when she was on the run.

"Commander." It took him a moment to realise the pilot's voice was coming from his commlink and not Ahsoka's, "I have Prime Minister Almec of Mandalore on the comm."

With one final exchanged look between himself and Ahsoka, Rex did his best to portray a confident Commander's tone, "Put him through."

The conversations he needed to have with Ahsoka would have to wait. Although, he had a feeling that after this siege, nothing would ever be the same again.

It was one thing to learn how to take care of herself after leaving the Order, but Ahsoka was completely out of her depth when she suddenly had to care for Rex in the aftermath of… whatever the kriffing hell happened on their way to Coruscant.

She all but dragged Rex to a rundown motel on the closest civilised planet, stripped to nothing but his undersuit in an attempt to blend in. He was like an unmoveable brick wall. Nothing she said could lift his gaze from his boots and his hands were twitching as if his fingers were still on the triggers.

Ahsoka was deeply worried about her friend, and that was why she stayed.

"Go and lay down." She said gently, pushing him towards the single bed in the middle of the room, "I'll keep watch." She had a lot of things to do and people to contact; it would be best if Rex was asleep through that.

Maybe she could reach Obi-Wan. Even though she'd felt his Force-signature falter slightly, she knew he was alive now. She wanted to reach out to Anakin, but whenever she nudged their abandoned- yet still intact- Force bond, all she got in response was a flooding sense of darkness, so much that it made her nauseous.

Besides, another Jedi wouldn't help Rex. He needed one of his brothers, but whoever she tried to touch through the Force felt like a stranger, even Cody. They were all blank slates, like their entire minds had been wiped.

Ahsoka shuddered, distracting herself by pulling a thin blanket over Rex, remembering him telling her that people in shock often got too cold. His eyes were open, and she knew he wouldn't shut them. Every single one of his brothers flipped like a switch and turned on them. She knew she wouldn't want to close her eyes after witnessing that.

Taking a knee beside him, Ahsoka put a gentle hand on his forehead, gently rubbing the gauze patch with her thumb, "I'm just going to dive in the shower."

"Don't hit your head." That was the first time he'd spoke since they buried the bodies, and she would've laughed at his joke if he didn't look so… shattered.

"Be right back." She said, her voice cracking as she stood up.

A shower would do her good. Her clothes stank of war and betrayal, and her montrals were ringing like they used to after any battle, except there was no Anakin to encourage her to get some rest whilst he handled everything else. She wondered where Kix was, maybe he'd been sent with Anakin to Coruscant.

Thinking about her Master- former Master- sent icy pain through her chest, so sudden and sharp that she gasped, leaning against the sink in the dingy bathroom. Tears gathered in her eyes. Anakin wasn't dead, but he also wasn't alive; he was somewhere in between.

Wherever he was, it wasn't a nice place.

Ahsoka whispered an apology before slamming up her shields, cementing them against the overwhelming darkness in the Force. This was a dark day for the Republic, and for the entire galaxy. And yet, motels like this one were probably unaware of the Jedi being murdered by their own soldiers on every frontline.

Master Plo. Ahsoka had felt his life been snuffed out before Rex even opened fire on her. Her oldest friend was gone.

Aayla. Could Bly have killed her? Ahsoka saw the way he looked at the Twi'lek Jedi, yet she was dead in the Force, and he was alive, just a blank slate.

Master Yoda? Surely the Grandmaster hadn't been killed in the slaughter?

The water was cold, which helped. It ran dark brown as the blood and grime was scrubbed off her skin with her short nails. She'd feel better once she was clean, that's what she kept on telling herself.

It wasn't much use. Ahsoka doubted if she would ever feel 'normal' again.

After showering, she got re-dressed in her sweaty, dirty clothes. She noticed the absence of the feeling of her lightsabers hitting her hips with every step, but those were the last thing she wanted right now.

Rex hadn't moved at all. His eyes didn't even swivel to her when she perched beside him, which was highly unusual for clone troopers. She hoped that removing the chip hadn't taken part of his personality with it.

If her Rex was gone, she didn't know how she would…

She didn't even want to think about it.

"I didn't think this was how our little reunion was going to end." Ahsoka said, eventually breaking the silence. She didn't even notice that she had been running her fingers through Rex's buzzed hair.

"I didn't think this was how the war was going to end, Commander." He said, his eyes finally closing.

Ahsoka's throat closed up, "Please, don't call me that." It hurt too much to hear him say that.

Rex sharply inhaled and turned her head away from her, leaving her fingers hanging loosely in the air. Fresh tears travelled the same tracks on his face from their discussion above the hanger deck.

You're a good soldier, Rex, so is every one of those men down there. They may be willing to die, but I am not the one who is going to kill them.

"I've failed them," Rex said, his voice a hoarse whisper, "all of them."

Hearing him sound so broken- so shattered- didn't sit right with her. He was Rex. The one who taught her that experience outranked everything on the battlefield. The one who reminded her to hang onto the gunship as they crashed onto Aayla's cruiser. The one who believed she was innocent all those months ago, even though he had to track her down.

He was a Commander, and possibly a better one than she ever was, and it wasn't fair that his heart had been shattered into a million pieces.

"Not everyone." Ahsoka said, keeping her voice soft as his shoulder started to tremble. "You haven't failed Fives." At the mention of his brother's name, the Captain-now-Commander whimpered. The sound made her own chest hurt.

The comm calls could wait.

Right now, Rex needed her just as much as she needed him.

She slid onto the bed behind him, felt him tense as her shaking arms wrapped around his torso. For a while, she just rested her face between his shoulder blades and used her remaining energy to support him as much as she could through the Force.

She played back memories of their banter and the knowing looks they would give each other during briefings with Anakin and his crazy plans. She played back memories of their men, saluting the Captain and Commander or just having a joke with them. She played back a rather blurry memory of Cody and Rex arm wrestling in 79s one night.

When her final energy reserves ran out, Ahsoka simply existed as a solid weight on his back and whispered, "You haven't failed me."

Word count: 2,649 - Published: 13/06/2020 - Last updated: 13/06/2020

Again, apologies for the hiatus. I hope you all enjoyed this one! Please keep on reviewing and commenting- I read every single one!

Yours truly, dieFabuliererin

P.S. I had to re-watch 'Victory and Death' to make sure I got the quote right, and I may have shed a tear or two.