Everything is Relative
by Teddylonglong

All recognizable Harry Potter characters belong to J. K. Rowling, and I am not earning anything by writing this story. I am merely borrowing the characters to play with them.
I am not a native speaker of English. Please excuse my mistakes.

Warnings: Completely AU, partly OOC.

Apart from receiving congratulations as the new headmaster at Hogwarts and a few incognito discussions with the old wizard in his position as an Unspeakable, Harry did not have any contact to the Minister of Magic.

However, on Christmas, when his four children were five months old, Harry received another phial from Albus Dumbledore. It was the same, which the minister had already sent him a few years ago – the first prophecy uttered from Sybill Trelawney concerning him and Voldemort.

"Oh well, before he sends it a third time, I better reply this time," he said to the members of the extended family who were around him and had watched the scene.

"Do that," Susan, who was just feeding Salazar, voiced her opinion, giving him an encouraging look.

Grabbing a piece of parchment along with a quill out of thin air, Harry set to scribble a note to the Minister of Magic.

'Dear Minister Dumbledore,
you have already sent me the same memory a couple of years ago. Unfortunately, I do not believe in prophecies. Apart from that fact, Voldemort does not exist anymore anyway. He is merely a muggle going by the name of Tom Gaunt now and has already been for three years. He is also the birth father of my Aunt Petunia and thus my great uncle. Every Sunday, we meet with him for dinner, and we can peacefully exist, while the other is alive. There is no need for me to kill anyone, especially someone who is a relative of mine. I hope that this clarifies everything.
Best regards and happy Christmas
Harry Potter'

He pondered sending Dobby to Dumbledore, however, decided against it and gave the letter to Hedwig, knowing that the owl would love the trip.

Before Hedwig had even returned to Hogwarts manor, however, Fawkes flashed into the Great Hall at Hogwarts, where Harry was just attending Christmas dinner together with a few of his colleagues and a hand full of students, who had remained at the school over the holidays.

"Fawkes," Harry said in surprise that intensified, when the phoenix suddenly began to trill a soft, but sad melody. In spite of the mourning melody, however, Harry suddenly felt very happy.

#I took the liberty of bonding with you,# Fawkes informed him, causing Harry to gasp.

"What happened to Dumbledore?" he asked in surprise.

#He went to his next great adventure earlier today,# Fawkes told him, adding a soothing melody of grieve, before he explained, #It is his own fault. He was sucking a lemon drop while reading your letter, and he happened to choke on the lemon drop. There was nothing I could do to save him.#

Harry quickly translated for the others, feeling extremely bad for what he had written to the old wizard.

"Harry, that was not your fault at all," Hermione spoke up in a soothing voice, and everyone else sitting at the high table fully agreed with the young witch.

"He'll be happy to be reunited with his sister Ariana," Luna spoke up, wearing a dreamy expression.

HP

It was thirty-six hours later that the headline of the Daily Prophet screamed in red letters, 'Minister of Magic Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore dies at the age of 170 choking on a lemon drop while doing his work at the ministry of magic'.

'Thank Merlin they did not write what he was doing at the time,' Harry thought, as – in spite of the reassurances from his wives and family – he still felt unsure at the thought that his letter had been the reason for the old wizard to choke.

'Harry, I'll tell you what,' Luna suddenly thought to him through the ring, 'While it is not your fault at all, how about honouring Dumbledore by naming our next child after him?'

Harry stared at the youngest of his wives in surprise. 'Are you pregnant?' he thought back through telepathy, somehow feeling excited at the idea in spite of already having four children.

'Yes,' Luna thought back, smiling happily.

'Let's do that if it's a boy,' he agreed, sharing Luna's obvious happiness.

HP

Two days later, a Wizengamot meeting took place, and as Harry had done ever since accepting the lordships over his three houses, he asked James to take his place in the Potter seat and Paul to sit in the Slytherin-Hufflepuff seat, while he occupied the seat of the Gryffindor-Ravenclaw family.

Previously, Amelia had been the interim minister and had led the elections for the position of the Minister of Magic with great efficiency. However, Sirius as the head of the Wizengamot knew that with two small children in addition to her position as the head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement she did not have much free time, which he wished to occupy himself. Therefore, he asked Cygnus Greengrass to become the interim minister.

This time, the minister could be elected from three candidates, Cygnus Greengrass himself, Arthur Weasley and Artemis Nott, and almost to Harry's horror, Artemis won the election.

'Well, it's not really a surprise, knowing that he is well liked as the caretaker of Hogwarts,' Harry thought, only to let out a sigh of relief, when Vernon suggested that he could become the new caretaker.

"Dudley, Hannah and Tom are well able to look after the Whizkidz without my assistance, and I'd love to work closer to where my Petunia is working," Vernon told him, when they were sitting on the beach discussing the matter in the evening.

"Thank you very much," Harry replied, "and congratulations to you, Artemis."

"We're still going to live here if you don't mind," Rebecca spoke up, handing her second baby to Artemis to make him burp.

"Of course not," Harry replied in bewilderment. "You already belong to the family, and we're happy to have you," he assured the witch, who had done so much for his family – good and bad at once – and was known as the best Defence Against the Dark Arts professor that Hogwarts had seen during the last fifty years.

HP

It was on an exceptionally hot Sunday in the summer, just a few days before Harry's and Luna's twins' second birthday, that the Dursleys waited for Tom Gaunt in vain.

"I wonder what happened to him," Petunia spoke up in concern.

"He was always punctual," Hermione added, glancing at Harry.

'The two prophesied ones won't be able to live while the other is alive for more than seven years,' Harry recalled, thinking back to the resurrection of Voldemort, which had taken place in the early summer of 1995. 'Now, it is 2002. Seven years,' he realised in foreboding.

"Petunia, please send Winky to check on Tom," he uttered, averting his eyes to his plate to not have to reply to his wives' questioning looks.

It took a while, before Winky returned. She wrung her hands in apparent distress, before she spoke up. "Mistress Petunia, I founds him, and because he seemed not alive anymore, I asked Mistress Lily to check on him. Mistress Lily tolds Winky that he died a natural death."

"Thank you, Winky. It was good that you asked Lily to check on him," Petunia spoke up in a soft voice, only to add, "For a muggle, 75 is not extremely old, but considering how he manipulated his body, it is not really surprising either."

"I'm sorry, Aunt Petunia," Harry spoke up. "He really was all right after becoming a muggle."

"Harry, it is not your fault, and at least, he had a fulfilled life in the end and seemed happy to me," Petunia replied in a soothing voice.

'Oh well, I have the impression as if everything and everyone around me was somehow related to me, but he was definitely the strangest of our relatives,' Harry thought, as he returned to Hogwarts manor together with his wives and children.

The End.

A huge thanks to the kind readers who supported my muse by commenting on each chapter. I hope you had as much fun reading as I had writing this story and reading your comments and guesses.