This is an attempt to relive the crucial moment on the Star Forge with some kind of heretical and non-perfect version of the LS Revan, deeper and stronger than the game would let one. First I imagined a female Revan here, but the series that followed urged for the canonical male one. Anyway, this actual piece can be read with any Revan in mind.

English is not my native, so please point out if there are any mistakes.

Credits:
- Bioware for the characters, the story, and some parts of Bastila's dialogue from SW KOTOR;
- Thetechromancer for the art

The last passage leading towards the control center... final steps. Getting closer. I know you are there. You know I am coming. And we both know the other knows it. That is the way bonds are, isn't it? You treat it as a weakness now, a weakness you must get rid of. Well... here I am, Bas.

- Revan - I knew you'd come for me, - the words aren't really necessary now that we stare each other in the eye, because a thousand words would traverse our minds before the mere intent to speak them aloud. Of course I'd come. Of course you knew. I have so much to tell you now that I've recalled more things... but you've got no time and no desire to listen. Alas.

- You must also know I am not leaving without you.

- I'll make sure you are not leaving at all.

Heh. So overconfident. So... beautiful. Tsk, that doesn't help, does it?

- I have seen the Jedi for what they are: weak and afraid. The Sith are the true Masters of the Force. You have forgotten that lesson, Revan. Now you must pay the price. Here on the Star Forge the power of the dark side is at its strongest. This time you will not defeat me!

- Just listen to yourself, reciting all the Sith bullshit all the same as you once recited the Jedi code, - I reply softly as I start circling her slowly with lightsaber raised in defensive stance. - Haven't you realized it yet? The Force has no sides. We do. Does water have color, does the air itself have smell? The Force is a river, and it only carries what is thrown into it.

- Will you please spare me that nonsense? - here comes your saber now. With fury that's hard to stand up to, but I can feel the source of it, and... it's not the place anymore. Of course you have some point about the Star Forge: the Force is painted heavily here by all those who have made use of it. Including myself. It thus can affect one greatly, but the rage that drives you right now doesn't come from the place; it's rather one of a conflict. The convenient picture of the world you've been patching your bleeding wounds ever since turning, has just been given a shake, and you're now as angry with yourself as you are with me. Fair enough, love, fair enough. As the battle rages on, I just hope I endure holding it back for as long as it's needed...

- Why can't we just - huff - kinda - zap! - talk or something?

- Nice try - huff - but - no good, - that would sound so sure if I didn't feel your desperate attempt to make it sound that way. Getting tired, aren't you? It must be really hard to have two fights going at the same time. I'd tell you!

Disarmed and knocked down, you take your chance to catch your breath as I stand still watching patiently.

- I see now why Malak followed you. Even though you are only a shell of your former self, you are still a formidable opponent. I can't even imagine the power you must have wielded when you were the Dark Lord. You were a fool to give it all up and follow the light side.

- There you go again. Dark. Light. Round. Square. The true master commands any Force, if you ask me!

- Stop sounding like the old madman we once picked up.

- Whatever it takes to get to you, Bas. Can't you see you are making the same mistake again, trying to shape yourself into some mesh that isn't really you? I know it isn't you!

- Don't pretend the bond we share makes you see me through! Because I am not what you think you see! The dark side has made me stronger than I ever was before! I have a greater command of the Force than all but the most powerful Jedi Masters. As Malak teaches me the greatest secrets of the Sith, I will unlock more of my potential. Eventually there will be no limit to what I can accomplish with the Force!

- Oooooh, the heels have made me higher than I ever was befo-o-ore! The green paint's made me greener that I ever was before! Fats made me... ooh. Fat!

- Stop it! I.. I will show you the dark side is not a subject to mockery, - our lightsabers clash again, dancing insanely. I keep cutting all your attempts to reach out for the Force, twisting it to my advantage. But the river here is full of what had been trown into it for centuries... and it's really hard to swim.

- Of course the warmongers' legacy within the Force has made you stronger. Brute strength is what defines most of them. Once, I let it define myself too. But I was wrong. As you are now. Please, Bas... you stop it and come with me. We don't really have much time for this kind of stalling.

- You're saying this because you know you cannot win, vestige of Revan.

- On the contrary, I am more whole than I could ever imagine. Did you really think the Jedi mind tampering could erase memories forever? The Force remembers everything. Every little thing has its imprint, not to mention some - heh - big ass Sith lord.

- Nevertheless, you have declined it.

- I've overgrown it, that's different.

- Nonsense! What could possibly overgrow the dark side?

- No sides. No. Sides. Only the Force.

- Was this meant to convince me? Because it's beginner Jedi talk. That's what you are then. Not just a weak servant of light, but also one cowardly denying it! Pathetic.

- How do you call someone who cannot beat a sorry pathetic weakling then?

- Aarrrgh! - I barely manage to parry this blast, with both the saber and the surrounding Force.

- Getting angry? This should've made you stronger according to Sith philosophy. Has it now? - I am having some hard time with her current assault - dodging, avoiding, redirecting - but it still can't reach me. Dammit, these are not nearly the words I imagined I'd say, but it's hard to think straight and sound wise when you are caught in a heated battle.

- You barely throw twigs into an inferno, Revan. This place fills me with hatred so great I could tear it all apart! - yes, I feel you could. You are most sincere in it right now. Sparks fly all around, the floor is making attempts to melt under our feet. - Why! *swish* Wouldn't! *blam* It! *crush* Work?!

- Told you.

- No! It can't be!

- It is, - I let myself another short break, throwing her lightly against the wall. The place is... stinking with what they take for darkness. It's pressing on my mind, all those echoes, all those imprints. Whispering. Buzzing. Annoying. You'd better not complicate things, love, because, sides or not, it can still get to us.

- Who do you think you are? Some transcendent being? I know you better than anyone, and you are nothing like that. Same flesh... and blood and... feelings! Why would you bury your passions, why wouldn't you embrace the dark side with me? You might have been much more desirable master than Malak... if only you dared.

- I buried nothing. Can't you see why I have come?

- I can't even see yourself anymore. I was a fool to fall in love with a jedi pawn. Now that I think of it... maybe I didn't anyway. All the way you were nothing but a mistake. And I will fix it.

Here it comes. A red wave flooding my eyes, my mind, my everything. I don't want to...

WHY? *bang*

DO? *smack*

YOU? *smash*

DO? *crush*

THIS? *squash*

TO ME?!

Panting heavily, I fall to my knees and touch the floor with trembling fingers. Foolish girl! Stupid bond! It was me being thrown around. Those were my joints twisting. Those were my bones breaking. My skull cracking. My life fading... fading away... slowly... NO!

In a single desperate leap I get near her and grab the deformed body of the one I loved so much... I still do. Whatever it takes now. I will drain the world dry only to undo what I've just done. I will drain myself dry if needed. I don't care what happens after. Not anymore. Even if it's too much for me to take. A warm wave flows through me, tickling at my fingertips, mending the broken limbs, holding to the spirit, preserving it. I give it all I have, lifting her head spontaneously and landing the longest and most true kiss on her lips I've ever did. Will you ever forgive me, love? There. It was... I think it was enough.

A distant unconscious smile softens her face for a moment before her eyes open suddenly and widen with fear, and the next second she jumps away swiftly, grabbing her lightsaber again, my dear Bastila, as good as new, and I manage a weak smile in return, as I fall flat on my back, exhausted.

- Even... are we?

The glowing edge pointed at me trembles, as does her chin. Seconds seem like ages. Thousands of thoughts and memories storming through her mind echo inside me. With shimmering sound, the lightblade finally goes off, and she slowly sits down beside me, taking my hand and sighing quietly.

- No... not really. It was Malak who nearly killed you in the first place, remember? Not... not me.

I can't help but keep smiling foolishly:

- I do remember. Every second of it. Ironic, you came in the middle of my contemplation of what we have become. Of what we could have forgotten. Who knows, where might a simple talk have led us, but... you weren't as talkative back then as I am.

- You definitely talk too much, silly, - followed by another kiss and a little smile, that fades away quickly though. - But all of this was for nothing. I've taken a road of no return.

- Don't say so, - I shake my head, sitting up and taking both her hands. - You have a whole ex Sith Lord here, remember? I know what you mean. I know this path is hard to abandon, because it offers a perfect excuse for what you do. Once you start down it, you have an awful lot to justify, and the dark side theory manages it so fine. So simple and convenient. But still a lie. Because it's us who make it dark. Or light. Or speckled green.

- Revan! - ah, that lovely frown of yours. But I can see your eyes laughing, and we both let the laughter out, and that seems the happiest moment of my life.

- Pick any aspect of life you like, because life is all that. And so is the Force. Taking full responsibility is hard, Bas. I know it. But it is the only way to be whole. To be what you really are. Not fitting some pattern, not shutting parts of yourself out, but accepting and dealing with everything inside you.

- You make it sound so easy. But the dark side forgives nothing. Especially denying it.

- It's the place, Bas. It's poisoned so heavily with all those who shaped its history that almost became a creature on its own. It calls on those parts of us we can't afford to lose control of. I nealy lost you, - my grip tightens as a faint spurt of fear rises deep inside trying to get to me, but only to even strengthen that bubble around us cleansed with our own influence, the little protective shell we can use to restore our strength and build some resolve. - We should get away as soon as possible. But I still have unfinished business here.

- Malak.

- Yes. What he is now is my doing. As much as he was my friend. I must talk to him.

- I... failed him.

- You bested him. Let's leave it at that.

- You know I can't go with you. Can't come near him.

- Never asking you to. It's between me and Malak. But I'm coming back for you, that I promise.

- What should I do then? I feel so... useless. Weak. Afraid. Not nearly safe.

- Safe is not what we can afford in a place like this, is it? But we can still make it a bit safer for each other. Do you know why Malak and I had joined the Mandalorian Wars in the first place? We only wanted to make things right. That is the purpose easily forgotten and made a ghostly excuse for any means later. That's the invisible twist, the fall you people call the dark side, but it's always our own dark side. Decisions can be hard sometimes, neither black, nor white. That's why remembering the initial purpose is important. And we both can make things right now. To think of it, you are the only one who can make sure we still have firepower left to destroy the thing. The fleet is thinning every second as we speak.

- Oh. Of course. I... find it hard to think straight right now, but it's a poor excuse for being a fool not realizing the obvious. Give me a moment... I hope I can concentrate enough. Will do my best to.

- You can. I will help you. Our bond is a blessing that works both ways. If there's anything worth embracing, it is it. The protection we both really need here, - I let myself a moment of hesitation to take another glimpse at her sitting there, eyes closed, so determined, so... heart-warming.

- Go now. You must hurry. But do come back. You owe me that.

- I will.