Hey, hey, hey, boys and girls, we have a new EEnE fanfic coming in by surprise! :D

Firstly, before I talk about what this story will entail, something special that has to be addressed in regards to my first EEnE story on my profile, "Positive Mental Ed-itude"...something that I am both excited and honored to announce. ^-^

"POSITIVE MENTAL ED-ITUDE" HAS MADE IT TO THE RECOMMENDED FANFICS PAGE ON TV TROPES! :D :D :D

Indeed, one of my stories has managed to actually get put on an actual recommendations page for TV Tropes, thanks to user Amazing Cartoon Hero. Honest to God, I've never really expected to have a fic put on a FanficRecs page on TV Tropes ever to be honest, as I really just make these stories for fun, but I digress, this is indeed a fantastic accomplishment. :'D

Thank you so incredibly much to those who favorited, reviewed, and read "Positive Mental Ed-itude" (as well as any other of my stories), and a special thanks to Amazing Cartoon Hero for adding said story to the list. I truly appreciate the feedback and I am honored and grateful for such a feat, thanks to all you awesome readers. (Sorry that I was super late to notice this, tho, lmao!) :)

Anyways, in terms of today's multi-chapter story, it's meant to be more educational this time around, as it's meant to reflect on a certain topic that we all must be going through right now in light of the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic we are currently stuck in thus far: keeping clean and staying protected from germs. Think of this story as something like one of those old PSA's you've seen from the 80's.

Don't worry though, the story will still incorporate classic EEnE-style comedy into the mix, as not to make it too boring for ya guys. ;)

Also, word of advice, tying into the educational theme of this plot, there is absolutely no fourth wall in this story, as it is meant to speak directly to you, the reader...though in fairness, the actual show didn't really have that much of a fourth wall anyways, so I guess nothing's really changed. :P

Rambling aside, hope you all enjoy the fic!

Ed, Edd, n' Eddy is owned by Danny Antonucci and Cartoon Network. (I do not own any of its characters nor its properties. This is purely a non-profit fanfic made for fun.)

WASH BEHIND YOUR EDS

CHAPTER ONE: PROLOGUE TO MADNESS

"Hmm, yes, indeed...I'm sure there'll be room to discuss that later...ooh, that piece of information sounds good as well! Oh-ho, most exciting!"

The boy kept reading his script with much intrigue and elation, scanning around and marking down what specific tips and tidbits he'll be addressing about today with his pencil. The area he stood in was dark, spacious, and vacant, with only a single spotlight shining above him. With his yellow, plaid-pattern tie neatly-adjusted around the collar of his vermillion-colored shirt, and his trademark black hat secured tightly on his head, the brainy neat-freak was soon able to begin his lesson. He then noticed a presence near him, which caused him to look up from his script, gaze forward, and smile brightly and warmly at his "guests".

"Oh, greetings, everyone!" he chirped in a welcoming tone, "I must've not have heard you arrive. Well, I'm sure as you all know, my name is Eddward, though I'm normally known as 'Double D' in some circles." he giggled in his hand for a moment before continuing, "Well, today, I've been instructed to help teach you all about a very special topic that I hold very dear to my heart!"

Double D placed the script back into his pants pocket and cleared his throat impressively. "However, I shall not be alone on this educational venture, for accompanying me on this trek are, of course, my closest friends, whom you all may know as Eddy and Ed!"

He then proudly gestured to his left side, where two other well-known (and much more troublesome) boys shambled into view. The shorter Ed's face scrunched with confusion and mild irritation.

"Yeesh, where the heck are we?" groused the young scam artist, loud enough for anyone to hear him, "It's all dark and empty here...I feel like I'm trapped in Ed's closet or something..." His taller, stupider comrade shivered with fright.

"I d-d-don't like the d-dark, Eddy!" he quivered, his bones rattling like chains. Double D smiled heartily at his best friends, excited to get his lessons underway, post haste.

"Now, as I said, we have been asked to help teach the basics a personal, favorite topic of mine!" beamed Double D, his smile fit to burst with rising excitement. Eddy, sadly, didn't seem to share his enthusiasm.

"Hmph, yeah, and who asked us to do this again?" he asked, cocking an unamused eyebrow. Double D's smile faltered at his friend's brash remark.

"That's not important right now, Edd-"

"It was probably the author, was it?" cut in Eddy, derisively, "Jeez, doesn't that guy have that dumb, long 'Gravity Falls' fic to finish up instead of forcing us to do some lousy lessons!?"

Double D gazed back at Eddy, his smile was now deflating into a stern frown. "These lessons aren't 'lousy', Eddy, they are informative and important to the benefit of everyone and their health and safety." he replied, sharply, yet civilly. Eddy rolled his eyes as Double D forced himself to bring another smile to his face.

"Anyways, today, we shall be going over the important topic of…"

A pulley rope suddenly repelled next to Double D, in which the boy then pulled it down, bringing down a large, flashy sign that read the exact words he was to announce out loud.

"PERSONAL HYGIENE!" announced Double D, gleefully.

A proud, bombastic fanfare followed suit, with brightly-colorful confetti raining down around the boys, seemingly from out of nowhere. Ed giggled and bounced on his feet with boundless joy, playing around with the fluttering confetti in his usual childlike manner. Eddy simply groaned and crossed his arms, dreading the worst.

"Oh, brother…" he moaned. Typical that Double D would be teaching others about something that he adores to do: staying clean.

Double D clapped and rubbed his hands with anticipation, ready to get this show on the road!

"Today, we shall be going over my own list of simple steps on how to prevent spreading germs to others and to keep safe from anyone who may be sick!" He then turned towards back to his two allies with a wide, ear-splitting smile.

"In fact, I'm sure you two shall also gain a hefty amount of experience as being my assistants throughout these lessons!" he chimed. Eddy looked puzzled, feeling as though he was confronted in some way.

"What do ya mean by that?" the short-sized leader asked with a huff. Double D's smile twisted from excitement to sly in a matter of seconds.

"Well, it would help for you and Ed to learn more about personal hygiene and staying healthy." reminded Double D in an innocent tone. Eddy scoffed loudly at that.

"Pssh, I'm always healthy!" insisted Eddy boastfully, "It's Monobrow back here that needs a refresher course!" He pointed back towards Ed, who was merrily munching away at a fistful of leftover confetti, as if they were mere gumdrops.

"Mmm, these sprinkles taste yummy…" declared Ed between bites. Double D, in spite of feeling a tad weary deep inside his heart, still tried to shine a ray of hope down upon his friends.

"Well, I'm sure it'll still help you two understand the effective way to keep yourselves and others protected from harmful bacteria." stated Double D, trying to ignore Eddy's dour expression.

"Joy." Eddy droned. Double D's smile still never left his face.

"Oh, don't be so down, Eddy." assured Double D kindly, as he pulled out his script from his pocket, presenting to Eddy, "I'm equipped with this perfectly-categorized list here that'll cover the basics on proper personal hygiene, with enough info benefit you, Ed, and our beloved readers!"

Eddy gazed at the script with doubt and boredom, with the script boldly labelled as "EDDWARD'S SIX STEP GUIDE TO STAYING HEALTHY AND CLEAN". He glanced his eyesight back at the smiling boy.

"Sockhead, no offense, but I doubt our readers don't need a story dedicated to how they should clean themselves up…" he stated. Again, Double D's grin hadn't bothered to droop just yet.

"Maybe so...but, even so in this day and age, a little refresher course doesn't hurt anyone." he reminded kindly. Eddy's face scrunched up.

"Speak for yourself…" he groused softly as his big-brained ally shambled off to get his lessons started.

"Now then, shall we commence with our lessons, gentlemen? No time like the present!" he cheered, turning his heel and stepping out of shot. As Double D proudly headed off to begin his handiwork, Eddy and Ed slowly followed after him, with the former looking quite sour and uninterested in all of this.

"Ugh, this really is gonna be a long day, huh, Ed?" bemoaned Eddy, looking up towards his lump of a friend.

Ed's response was that of a loud, long belch, right into poor Eddy's face. Saliva, bits of undigested confetti, and a foul stench of bad breath collided into Eddy's face like a truck. Ed's belch subsided and he soon gave his agitated friend a blushing, nervous smile.

"Pardon me." excused Ed bashfully.

It was at this point today where Eddy really regretted getting out of bed this morning.

TO BE CONTINUED…

And there ends our first, quick chapter!

Basically, Eddy and Ed's roles in this fic shall have them causing their usual brand of trouble while Double D tries to teach them (and us) about personal hygiene. Pretty standard stuff, but we'll soon see some classic EEnE shenanigans in later chapters, don't worry.

BTW, for those who care, the "long Gravity Falls fic" Eddy mentioned in the chapter was alluding to one of my long-running "Gravity Falls" stories, "The Faeries of the Falls", which is currently on hiatus at the moment, because of a backlog of other fanfics that I am undergoing right now. The story isn't cancelled, rest assured, but it'll be a short while until I can get the next chapter done. You can check the fic for yourself on my profile; it's...okay, I guess? :P

Anyways, thanks for reading and I'll get the next chapter up as soon as I can! :D

~Thunderbyrd