JK Rowling is known to use pseudonyms sometimes when publishing. BlueWater5 is not the one she uses.

The black eyes of the four year old were wide open as he listened to his mother whisper the words of the mesmerizing old wizarding folk tale. Eileen Snape was telling him the story as she had heard it from her own grandmother and hence it was dark in tone, meant to teach children to be cautious in a dangerous world.

"And then the dementor leaned over the prone, shivering wizard, who knew that his soul would soon be no more," Eileen murmured dramatically. "In his last conscious moments, he thought not of his treasure or his lost love, but only of the fear that he would never be able to go at last into the next world or even remain as a ghost. He would only cease to be."

Severus shivered under his thin blanket, but not due to the cold that permeated the thin walls. "Mum, are there really such things as dementors?"

"Aye, and foul things they are." Eileen pulled the blanket more tightly around her son. "They guard the prisoners of Azkaban, feasting off any happy thoughts until there's none left."

"But you'll save me from them, right?" he asked hesitantly.

Eileen leaned over and kissed him on the forehead. "Don't be silly. Azkaban is only for bad wizards, and you're a good boy."

"But if they do get loose, you'll protect me, right?" Severus pleaded in a soft whisper as he looked at the bruises on his arm.

Eileen barely hesitated as she tucked him in. "Of course. Go to sleep now."

ii.

The boy, now much older, and a red-haired girl were walking along a smelly, polluted river near dusk. They had met at the playground as usual, but the girl was too upset to stay there and had insisted on going on a walk. Severus had led his best friend to the befouled waterway because he knew the path there was normally deserted. "Then Tuney cut the hair off my doll," Lily concluded in tears. "She can be so mean."

"It's too bad she's not a witch," Severus replied darkly. "They'd send her to Azkaban and the dementors would punish her."

"What's Azkaban?" Lily asked morosely as she kicked a stone off the path. "And what's a dementor?"

"Azkaban is a prison for bad witches and wizards. The guards aren't human. They're creepy things called dementors. To punish you, they suck out your happy thoughts until there's naught left but pain and misery. Sometimes they even kill the prisoners by eating their souls."

Lily shivered even though the sun's warmth still lingered as sunset approached. "Sometimes I think Tuney wouldn't be happy unless there was no such thing as magic."

"Well, there is, so she'll always be unhappy," Severus responded decisively.

Later that summer, Severus and Lily were in a small thicket of trees. "Tell me about the dementors again," Lily demanded. Severus was happy to share his knowledge with her until their privacy was interrupted by her jealous sister.

iii.

By the beginning of his third year at Hogwarts, the antagonism between Severus and the quartet of Gryffindors led by James Potter was well known throughout the school. Snape's fellow Slytherins were pleased when they saw that their half-blood was generally able to hold his own against the Gryffindors, retaliating for the unpopular gang's successful pranks in such a way that he often didn't get caught.

Severus drew the curtains around his bed, snuggled underneath the thick blanket, and cast a Lumos. This year's Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher had impressed him as someone not to be trifled with. Professor Eferhild's severe demeanor rivaled that of Professor McGonagall. When Sirius Black had hexed Evan Rosier while her back was turned, she wasn't fooled by his innocent look. Black had been assigned two detentions and dismissed from the rest of the class, thus instantly making the professor a favorite among the Slytherins.

Severus looked over the syllabus provided by Professor Eferhild. He sighed when he saw that among the creatures to be covered that year were boggarts. Boggarts took the shape of whatever a person feared the most and they were going to learn how to defend against them.

He put down the parchment. What did he fear most? His thoughts circled around, but kept coming back to his mother's bedtime stories about dementors. Just thinking about losing his precious happy thoughts to a soul-sucking creature made him breathe more quickly under his warm quilt. He did not want his fear to become a weapon to be used against him, especially by Potter's gang. He had to learn how to defeat a dementor before it was taught in class so that no one knew how much it affected him. How could he fight one?

When a review of the rest of the syllabus showed dementors were not studied in the third year, Severus reluctantly got out of bed, threw on his shabby second-hand robes, put his shoes back on and made his way to the common room. He went to the table behind the couch near the fire where papers that had been left scattered throughout the room were stacked. This early in the year, the stack was small, but it would eventually threaten to topple onto those who were absorbing the warmth of the fire, occasionally encouraged to do so by a passing student for laughs or out of a jealous desire to interrupt a cozy couple. The resulting fracas often entertained those not involved.

Severus paged through the parchments. He was in luck. Many students had discarded their handouts and he was able find syllabi from the upper classmen. He did not find dementors on the Fourth or Fifth year syllabi, but saw that the Sixth years would be studying them along with inferi. All he had to do was to get ahold of a Sixth year Defense Against the Dark Art book. If he couldn't find one lying about he was sure the library would have one.

Intent on his search, he didn't realize he was being observed by several Seventh years. If he had asked the for their help, he would have learned that he didn't need to learn how to repel a dementor, but rather turn it into something laughable; one of his classmates who had the same fear turned it into a white polka-dotted sheet that rolled itself up. Intent on solving the problem by himself, he instead spent hours in a deserted classroom before he could conjure a misty shield using a memory of sharing his joy with Lily of getting his Hogwarts letter. While not the approved way to repel a boggart, Professor Eferhild was impressed enough to award him ten points.

When Seventh year prefect Lucius Malfoy learned that a Third year had taught himself the Patronus charm, he resolved to keep an eye on the half-blood. Lucius ignored the fact that the boy's Patronus wasn't corporeal; after all, it was a ridiculously advanced charm and many adults were unable to conjure anything but a mist.

A few days later, Lily pulled Severus into a deserted classroom. "Is it true? I heard a rumor that a Slytherin was able to produce a Patronus and I thought it might be you," she said breathlessly.

Severus gave her a shy smile. "Aye. I even got points for it."

"Brilliant! Severus, do you know how hard that is? That toerag Potter said he didn't believe that any Third year could actually conjure a Patronus, but I knew that if anyone could do you it would be you! Can I see it?"

"There's not much to see," Severus said honestly.

"Show me anyway, please?" Lily's green eyes pleaded with Severus.

Severus took out his wand. On the spur of the moment he changed his memory to that of being recognized for his hard work by the professor and of Lily's obvious delight in his ability. To his surprise, the misty cloud coalesced into a furry mammal. It was a wolverine: a tough, solitary, tenacious animal known to attack much bigger prey. Lily laughed and clapped in delight.

Severus watched the transparent animal snuffle around. They both stared at the space it had occupied long after it had dissipated.

"Don't tell anyone, OK?" Severus asked Lily. "I want to keep it between us for now."

"Sure!" Lily responded. "Wow! That was magnificent!"

iv.

At the end of his fifth year, Severus thought the Defense Against the Dark Arts written OWL was easy. His satisfaction was ruined following a run in with Potter and his gang. They had humiliated him, and in his embarrassment he had lashed out at his best friend. Fortunately, and a bit to his surprise, his Slytherin classmates had intervened just after Lily left and before Potter had followed through on his threat to strip him totally. The resulting brawl had only ended when Professor McGonagall had suddenly appeared, summoned everyone's wand and given everyone, even her precious Gryffindors, detentions.

Lily had not forgiven him for the slur he had called her. During the Defense Against the Dark Arts practical the next day, he was unable to focus enough on any happy memory to display his corporeal Patronus; the misty fog he conjured would have only slowed a dementor down rather than driving it away. While it was good enough to earn him extra points, Peeves the poltergeist was only too happy to inform him that Potter, Black, Lupin and even the pathetic Pettigrew had been teaching themselves the charm as well and were able to conjure corporeal Patronuses, taking away his feeling of accomplishment. He felt it was the worst two days of his life.

Evan Rosier found him looking downcast collapsed on his bed, so devastated that he hadn't the energy to pull the curtains around his bed. "Doing all right there, Snape?"

"Yeah. Everything's just fine." Snape removed his arm from in front of his eyes and looked with determination at his dorm mate. "Why wouldn't it be?"

"Rumors go around you know. But I also heard something that should cheer you up."

"Good luck with that," Snape snorted.

"A group of people I know think you have great potential. Yesterday was just an aberration. We know you could have defended yourself against your tormenters if you knew a few more tricks."

Severus wanted to avoid thinking about yesterday's events. He closed his eyes again. "I was pitiful. I was caught unawares."

Rosier summoned over a plain wooded desk chair, faced it backwards, and straddled it. "We know. It happens. But you saw how quickly those hooligans had to go on the defense when we joined the fight. We had them about to run until McGonagall interfered to protect them."

Severus found himself nodding.

Rosier rubbed his eyes. "Look, Snape, everyone knows you can defend yourself well if given half a chance. I'm offering you a chance to join a group that appreciates your talents and will let them grow."

Severus had never been a joiner. He had one good friend and that was enough. He'd helped his fellow Slytherins plan pranks and invented potions and spells for them, but always as someone at the edge of the group. He'd never fully joined them because he didn't want to alienate Lily and he knew she disapproved of his fellow Slytherins. Now, though, she was gone, dropping years of friendship over a comment made while he was being publicly humiliated, and she would undoubtedly join up with Gryffindors whom he did not approve of. It just showed that she wasn't such a good friend after all.

Severus was realistic enough to know that he would inevitably lose eventually in a four-to-one melee. He didn't need friends, but he did need allies. He knew the people Rosier hung around with despised muggles. Well, if his father and Tuney Evans were typical, they were right to do so. He despised many purebloods as well - Potter, Black and Pettigrew threw their status around - but the ones in Slytherin hadn't harassed him for being a half-blood and now they were offering him protection in exchange for his own help.

Snape ran the calculations through his head. He could only benefit.

"I'm interested. Tell me more."

v.

In his Sixth year, Severus found more than acceptance among the budding Death Eaters. He found they truly appreciated his skill in potions and knowledge of the Dark Arts. With their open backing and promises kept of reprisal when he was attacked outnumbered, he wasn't targeted as much by the Gryffindors. His allies sometimes distracted the other members of Potter's gang to enable him to hex their ringleader without being caught.

His confidence grew. When it came time for that year's DADA instructor to teach the Patronus charm, Severus felt sure that his would once again be corporeal. It was, but to his surprise it had changed. It was now a hoofed mammal, a large tusked wild boar. He was so surprised that it quickly dissipated into mist, which the professor put down to inexperience.

Severus hurried up to the library during his next free period under the guise of studying for arithmancy. He looked up information on his new Patronus. Wild boars, he found, could be fearsome. Severus liked that. They had a good sense of smell – Severus unconsciously rubbed his own nose. While they rarely attacked humans, they were fierce in a fight. Until fully adults, males lived in loosely knit groups. Severus nodded. He now knew why his Patronus had changed form. He had found a group which appreciated him.

vi.

Late in the year, Severus was attempting to study in the library when he heard Potter's name mentioned. Without appearing to, he focused his attention on the conversation that was taking place at the table on the other side of the bookcase.

"Isn't it so romantic?" a female voice was almost cooing. "I've heard of it happening, but to actually see it…"

"Marlene, stop it." Severus lifted up his head. He recognized Lily's voice. "There are only so many animals in the world. Of course there will be lots of matches."

"Come on, Lily, admit it. You and James are meant for each other. I saw how his stag nuzzled your doe. You can't deny that your doe looked like she was enjoying the attention."

Severus heard a sigh. "Well, he has grown up quite a bit in the last year. He can be charming when he wants to be."

"And his looks! And his money doesn't hurt his attractiveness," Marlene said in a joking tone.

"That's not important, and you know it." Severus didn't hear any more. He had gathered up his books and left.

Severus found himself in a deserted classroom. He slumped against the wall. As it got dark, he tried to conjure up his Patronus. It would not form out of the mist.

vii.

It was after Severus had delivered part of a prophesy to the Dark Lord, after Lily and her family had been targeted, and soon after he had defected to the Order that his Patronus had once again become corporeal.

The Potters had not yet moved to a house under the Fidelius charm. They had been tracked down when a captured Order member betrayed their location under torture. Usually extremely careful, when Severus, while among the Death Eaters, heard about the attack about to be launched on the Potters he knew he had to risk everything to warn Lily.

By now an occlumens, he forced himself to forget about the danger he was in and focused his thoughts on days before Hogwarts when the world was much simpler, and afternoons at the park with Lily, and then to the time when Lily was so proud of his accomplishment. He cast the charm.

Severus was startled when the mist coalesced into a doe. He lost precious seconds before he gathered himself together. He'd read the theory about sending messages via a Patronus while he had done research into creating one but had never tried actually doing so. He drew a deep breath and concentrated on what he had to do. "Lily, run. Now." The doe bounded off.

Unfortunately, the Patronus was seen by a Death Eater. Fortunately, he did not get a good look at it, and reported that it looked horse-like. When the Dark Lord's squad failed to find their intended victims, his enforcers were tasked to find who had sent the warning. Since it was impossible to force a wizard to cast a corporeal Patronus, interrogations were launched as to past manifestations.

Multiple Slytherins reported that Severus' Patronus was pig-like. He was able to hide his relief.

A Death Eater whose Patronus was a donkey was executed, declaring to the last his loyalty to the cause.

viii.

Lily had been startled when she saw the doe enter the Order safe house they'd been living in and heard the urgent warning. However, she'd been through too much since she'd graduated to hesitate. She grabbed her toddler and Apparated to the first place she thought of, the gates of Hogwarts, and then sent her own Patronus to James, who'd been visiting Sirius. Only when she was safely inside the castle did she begin to ponder the voice. It had sounded like her old friend, but she remembered his Patronus had been a wild boar. Could they change forms? She got sidetracked as Harry began to fuss.

"Are you sure it was a doe?" asked Headmaster Dumbledore once James had arrived and she had told her story for the second time, this time in more detail.

"Positive. I got a really good look at it." Lily continued to hold Harry close to her. She paused. "Headmaster, can't a person's Patronus…?"

They were interrupted by a floo call. "Headmaster? It was a good thing they got a warning when they did," said Shacklebolt. "The house was destroyed."

James put his arm around his wife. "Do you know who we have to thank?"

Dumbledore shook his head, mystified. "I don't know of anyone in the Order who has such a Patronus. Perhaps someone just recently acquired the ability. I'll ask around."

"Tell whoever it is that drinks are on me at the Three Broomsticks for the rest of their life," declared James.

"Perhaps it's time for you to go into hiding under a Fidelius charm. I'm confident it won't be for long." Dumbledore added a spoonful of sugar to his tea as he considered the next move.

"We can move into my family's house in Godric's Hollow," suggested James.

It was only after Lily and James had settle down for the night in one of the guest rooms in the castle that Lily had a chance to resume her pondering about the voice. Memories assailed her of long summer days with her childhood friend. She was sure now that it had been his voice which had come from the doe. As she listened to James' soft snores, she thought about how life was too short to carry grudges. She'd been furious at Severus for calling her a mudblood, but she knew better now how people say things they don't mean in the heat of events. She didn't know where he was now, but if Severus had given her the warning perhaps there was some hope of reconciliation. She'd ask Dumbledore in the morning if there was any chance Severus had sent the warning.

In the bustle of getting ready to move in the morning, Lily forgot to mention to the Headmaster her thoughts on the voice. It would be another year before Dumbledore learned of Severus' Patronus, well after the fatal attack in Godric's Hollow. Severus would never hear from Lily again, at least in this life.

ix.

In Harry Potter's Third year, the Ministry of Magic sent dementors to guard Hogwarts against escaped mass murderer Sirius Black. Their constant presence gave Severus even more reason to hate the Marauder even after he was shown to be innocent.

x.

In Harry Potter's Sixth year, Severus found he had been used. He learned that all of his efforts over the years to protect Lily's boy were only to keep him alive until the right moment. Much worse, it was clear that time would come very soon rather than after a long life.

When Dumbledore implied his anger was because he had grown to care for the boy, Severus was incredulous. He shouted "Expecto Patronum" and from the tip of his wand burst the silver doe. She bounded across the floor and flew out the window. Together, the two wizards watched her fly away. With tears in his eyes, Dumbledore turned to Severus and asked, "After all this time?"

Yes, thought Severus. It hasn't always been, but will be forever more. "Always."