Chapter 2: Itachi is high on crack

Kurayami: Well, I'm back, and my depression is still there, but…tamed of sorts. I'm not dead, so that's good

Itachi: Yeah, so that you can be a god to our world. If you're a god, why can't you just cause world peace in a snap?

Kurayami: Well, in the words of the bible *bright white light envelops me and a chorus of angels singing sounds* "God has given man 2 choices; the choice of good, and the choice of evil"

Itachi: *looks at me confused* huh?

Kurayami: *sweat drops as the bright light and chorus disappears* Basically, you all are independent so you can choose for yourself. Although I can play the chess pieces, the pieces have to act for or against for the world peace to feel worthwhile

Itachi: Oh, ok then.

Kurayami: Now do it.

Itachi: No.

Kurayami: Yes

Itachi: Never in my life. I'd rather date Sakura.

Kurayami: *grins evilly* I can arrange that. *Walks over to my laptop*

Itachi: *sweats heavily* Fine, Fine, I'll do it, just don't ship me with Sakura!!!

Kurayami: Now say it.

Itachi: Kurayami-sama doesn't own Naruto. The honors go to Masashi Kishimoto. Who I hope will save me from Kurayami?

Chapter 2: Itachi is high on crack

6 Months Later:

Never, never, EVER, ask to learn everything from 3 top-class ANBU. You will regret it for your humanity. Long story short, I've learnt Katon: Ryuka no Justu (Fire style: Dragon fire Justu), Raiton: Shadoushokku no Justu (Lightning Style: Shadow shock Justu) and Futon: Daitoppa no Justu (Wind style: Great Breakthrough) for elemental attacks. Shunshin (Body Flicker), Kage Bunshin (Shadow Clone Justu), Kawarimi no Justu (Substitution Justu) Shuriken, Kage Bunshin no Justu (Shuriken Shadow Clone Justu) and Shuriken Kage no Justu (Shuriken Shadow Justu) for non-elemental justu. I also learned Leaf balancing, Tree walking and Water walking. My physical abilities boosted insanely. I'm a chunnin in strength and a jonin in speed. The experience factor will hinder me, but I'm expecting people to underestimate me. And I actually am not that far behind in experience. Itachi and the others believe I'm strong enough, but I know better. The beings that could end me in seconds. The threat the Shinigami told me about the avatars. Who I'll fight against will not be on the level of Kaguya, they're better. So I have been training with Kurama on his chakra. I'm able to hold 1 tail and be able to control. To Naruto, that's abysmal. But it boosts me from my chunnin level to jonin level. But I have the restriction of not being able to use justu unless I learn how to split my attention to control the cloak, and being able to add or restrict Kurama's chakra to the justu. That's easier said than done. I also have a special project I've almost completed

So here I am, lying down from the beating from sparing with Itachi, my 3 tomoe Sharingan glaring at him (Oh, I forget to mention I have the Sharingan) while Shisui was giving me shouts of encouragement

"Heal yourself with the Kyuubi squirt. Then you should be able to continue" I didn't have the energy to give him the middle finger. He knew the Kyuubi was in me because; he's an ANBU, village secrets are a must to know. I sometimes wonder if there's a textbook full of village secrets. But right now, I had to land a hit on Itachi for a good reason, to level up to land a hit on Shisui, so I can learn Kenjustu.

"Kurama, heal, don't give me cloak" Kurama might have heard me because my bruises and shallow cuts that peppered me started to sizzle, the bruises disappeared while the cuts closed. I stood up, looking at the impassive face of my surrogate brother.

I grinned, my Sharingan glowing "Get ready" I didn't wait. As soon as I said that, I disappeared from where I was, appearing above Itachi, leg swinging down in an axe kick to his face. As expected, Itachi deflected my leg sideways. I smirked, he left me an opening. As my leg swung sideways I twisted, a side kick to his stomach as soon as gravity gets back its hold on me. Itachi realized this, but remained impassive as he blurred away from his position and appeared behind me. I widened my eyes slightly in pain as I felt a fist hit my back. I fell to the ground hard. I smiled as the injury that was building quickly got healed. I have to thank Kyuubi later. I immediately jumped up, getting back up to a standing position.

"Still slow brother. I hope you have something better up your sleeve?" Itachi said, his eyes showing no signs of the Sharingan. That made me angry, like I'm not even worthy to use it.

I calmed myself as I looked at him blankly "Let us see brother" I sped toward him again, the world in a blur once more. I swept at his leg. Itachi jumped, his leg poised for a kick at my head. The kick would have hit true if not for me rolling back to avoid him. I threw some shurikens at him, hoping at least one hit him.

To my ever-growing anger, he deflects all of them lazily. I did some hand signs and screamed "Katon: Gokakyu no Justu" A ball of silver fire erupted from my mouth, flying towards Itachi at a good speed. Itachi just looked on as the fireball hit true. Once the flames disrupted, all that was left was a charred log.

"Kawarimi no Justu (Substitution Justu)" I muttered angrily. 'He has to be somewhere' My ears twitched asI hear the unsheathing of a sword. My eyes widened as I looked back and saw a sword swinging at my face looking to cutting me in half. With very little time at hand, I brought out a kunai and used it to block the sword. Metal met metal with a loud *clang*. I look at the person holding the sword and unsurprisingly it was Itachi. The strength he was using was affecting my body and I knew that I would cow. Knowing that I was fighting a losing battle, I jump away, dropping the chipped kunai that was once in my hand "Brother, you said that if I have better"

Itachi relaxed a bit as he answered with a nod. Perfect.

I smirk "You'll regret that." 'Kurama, get ready. I'm gonna risk it'

"No! That is so reckless. I'll help" Kurama said, smirking as I also mimicked his smirk. You see, Shunshin is pouring chakra in your legs in a concentrated burst. This gives the user pseudo-teleportation. Now, the problem is it gives the user tunnel vision, so it's best to visualize before using it. This means it's hard to use in battle unless your brain can multi-task fighting as well as quickly knowing were to teleport. Brains don't have that processing power, we need something to supplement that. The Sharingan. But using Shushin multiple times is disorientating. You need a strong stomach or a quick healing factor to make the nausea subside. I have the Kyuubi, so it'll be easy.

"Let me show you true speed" I made the half Tora sign that Deidara does when he wants to blow up something and immediately disappeared. The once tunnel vision tapered off to just feeling like I'm walking normally. But I know it's just my mind I have to let my body react to attacks. I teleport to Itachi, aiming a kick at his ribs. Itachi immediately parried my kick by shifting me to the side. I decided to use my smaller body to the advantage and decided re-aim the kick to his groin. Unfortunately (or fortunately in my case) the attack hit true, the uncharacteristic squeak of pain from Itachi told me that much. "Ouch" I winced "That's gotta hurt" I said, actually feeling sorry for what I did.

"You…You'll pay for that" I feel a high amount of killing intent that put me to my knees. I looked up from my kneeling position, only for my eyes to widen in fear as three scary sharp kunai where heading directly to my face. I quickly rolled away, only to hear the sharp *clang* when kunai hits kunai. I shifted my eyes to my previous position to see a kunai hit another kunai, shifting the first kunai upwards, to the direction of the other kunai. That kunai was also hit by the first as immediately the kunai trajectory changed to my side.

I had no time to react as the kunai hit true to my ribs. Pain coursed through my veins as I numbly heard the scream of Shisui. I weakly looked at Itachi, too weak to form a glare 'Kyuubi. Lend me your chakra'

Kurama uncharacteristically grunted worriedly. "This is too much for an actual spar. Don't you think this is going too far?"

My eyes narrowed in anger. I would not stand there and not let Itachi receive the pain I felt now. But his would be two-fold 'Yes!! Heal me as well, Itachi will pay'

"Kit, you're falling to Berserker Mode."

I sighed. Berserker Mode was what we called it when my past life attitude crossed over to me. I had to constantly control it so it couldn't surface. I didn't like my past life the moment I felt how this life was.

'I still want it. I want the training. I need the strength' I say, determination in my thought (How that worked I had no idea. Maybe it worked by subconsciously putting your intent?) unlike the bloodlust that trailed my former thought.

"Alright, don't kill him" I could hear the grin in Kurama's words.

'Righty-o Furball' I thought in dismissal, visualizing myself giving a salute. The last thing I heard was Kyuubi's snort of amusement before I felt the familiar yet unfamiliar (How did that work?) feeling of the cloak enshrouding me. My nails grew longer, my Sharingan tomoe being thicker as well as the pupil in the ring of tomoes. I let out a growl before I snarled, my viciously sharp teeth showing. Before anyone could react, I sped towards Itachi, idly noticing that the kunai had melted and the wound healed. I appeared Itachi in the span of a second and my nails rake at his side. His eyes widen in surprise as I kick him away, the kick the equivalent of that of a mule. I began the hand signs off my favorite technique "Raiton: Shadoushokku no Justu (Lightning style: Shadow Shock Justu) A thundercloud appeared within my hands. I brought my hands downwards and the cloud disappeared into lightning bolts, running along the ground. Noticing this, Itachi jumped, away from the justu, upwards to a tree. I smirked, my plan worked.

Jumping over to the same tree, a myriad of hand signs formed by my hand as I shouted "Katon: Ryuka no Justu (Fire style: Dragon fire Justu)" A silver dragon made of flames erupted from my mouth towards the tree Itachi situated himself in. The dragon hittrue, and the tree was reduced to a burnt pile of ashes. As I landed back to the ground, I felt a bit mortified and disappointed that Itachi died that quickly. That train of thought was halted when I turned around to see a familiar mop of black hair and spinning Sharingan.

"You did well, little brother. But you still have a long way to beat me. You lose" Itachi said plainly, Sharingan still eeringly spinning.

I raised an eyebrow at him, wondering how I lost "How? I have to be put in a situation that means death or knocked out. But I'm in none of those things-last I checked-so how have I lo-" I couldn't finish my question as I suddenly felt light headed. I felt myself fall face-first to the floor. My last thought was:

'Huh, so that's how I lost' Before darkness consumed me.

In the Konoha General Hospital

"Ugh, my head. I feel like I just got hit by Tsunade's strongest punch" I say, waking up from…wait, where am I? I look around and all I see is white walls and a view of the Hokage Monument. The smell of detergent and antiseptics sting in my nose. I deduce that this is a simple hospital, maybe the KGH (Konoha General Hospital).

"No, you just got Genjustu whacked by one Itachi Uchiha" I crane my head to the side (I just got hit by a genjustu. Why do I need to be-oh yeah, the injuries? They should have faded by now) to find Shisui, looking as amused as usual.

"Fucking Uchiha-hax" I grumble. Shisui must have heard me because he sweat dropped

"You are in the family of said hax people" I had the decency to at least blush before glaring at the ANBU operative

"Where is Itachi-nii and Kakashi?" I asked, not seeing the crow lover and the white-haired Hatake anywhere.

Shisui sighed before he patted my head "Itachi has a mission and Kakashi said, and I quote, "I couldn't care less""

Shisui just looked tired. Me, I just sweat dropped. Fucking uncaring emo asshole. Couldn't he care at least once?

"So what about you? Aren't you supposed to be kicking ass, taking names, saving and/or fucking princesses and slicing necks?"

Shisui just rubbed the back of his head. Is it me or is that thing done by every happy go-lucky people in the Narutoverse? No? good. I'm not crazy then.

"Well, I'm not doing anything because of reasons. And how do you know that. That vocabulary shouldn't be for a child." Shisui said, his eyes narrowing on me suspiciously. Shit, shit, shit, shit!!!! What the fuck do I do?! Act innocent? Play dumb? AARGH!!! I fucked up.

"Yes kid, you fucked up bad. Just blame it on books" Kurama said mentally.

'Shut up furball, I'm trying to think. Hmm, maybe I should blame it on books. That's brilliant!!! Why didn't I think of that before. Why can't you be helpful like that Kurama?' All I heard was grumbling and decided to ignore It in favor of saving my ass (I am not saving a donkey. Oh yeah, you won't get the reference will ya?)

'Act sheepish to make you look like a clone of him, softening him up' I chuckle, rubbing the back of my head.

'Act sincere and also cursing the lack of attention to my vocabulary'

"Damn, and here I thought I hid it well" I click my teeth in faux annoyance 'He'd be curious and inquire for more information, believing that with me being injured, I'd be loose-lipped'

Shisui tilted his head confused "Hid what well?" Perfect.

'Then, blame it on a book that I read in the library' "Well, I read an awesome book that had the words. It was used so commonly I thought it was normal. Even in the books, kids in the book said the word 'fuck' and other things"

'Indignation and anger surfaces for a child knowing this. And annoyance for trying to change the mind of a child' Shisui looked angry, his eyes narrowing and his brows furrowing. Hook.

'Now say that the book had been removed from the library, telling him that the librarian told me that the person had stopped. He would think that the Hokage had done something about it and make him relax. This would get him off from investigating this too much, and even so, there are books that used those words on a daily basis that wind up in the child section' I tilt my head in confusion and wave my hands quickly, but not too quickly, enough to look like I was telling the genuine truth "But for some reason, he stopped. The librarian said that he stopped for some reason. That's sad, I liked the book, and the characters.

'Cue him visibly relaxing from hearing the issue was exterminated'

Shisui visibly relaxed from the tense position it was once in, almost he was going to stab the next person that came out of the hospital door. Line.

'Change subject to make him forget about lecture and focus on the topic. It has to be something of significance, something that would require his attention. My Kenjustu training'

I looked at him in excitement, barely restraining myself from jumping on him. "So, how are we going to do my training? Would I immediately get an awesome sword like yours or Itachi's, or maybe even Kakashi's?!"

'His eyes will take on an exasperated but happy light for seeing a child act so excited for training'

Shisui laughed, rubbing my hair "Well, you will actually be getting a wooden training boken. Then you would be given a standard tanto. Then after that, if we deem you good at it, we could help you in creating your own custom blade." And Sinker.

The next words that came out of my mouth wasn't to manipulate, just purely being down in the dumps of not getting an awesome sword "Dammit." But then I immediately perked up once I thought of one thing in this. I had training in my past life. And…the silent kill technique. "I don't care, I'll learn the Silent Kill Technique and be the best swordsman, assassin, justu thrower, and taijustu person in the world" Ok, the last one was a far, very far possibility, I mean…Gai and Lee. Anyway, Shisui looked at me with a raised eyebrow.

"Where do you hear of the Silent Kill Technique? Lemme guess, the Bingo Book" I chuckle, before nodding earnestly. After all, watching the Anime was like reading the Bingo Book, but it's a video.

"Why don't they just abbreviate that name. it's to long. Like just say SKT?" I say. I really don't understand why they don't just do that?

Shisui just gave me a deadpan look "Because if we do. Kiri would go to war with us?" But aren't they in war?

Oh right. I'm a kid, shouldn't know confidential stuff like that. At least I think it's confidential. Better not say it and then get killed

"But why can't they abbreviate it?"

Shisui just continued to stare "I've had this conversation with hundreds of people. And I'll tell you the same thing a very wise man once said"

I listen intently because I'm 90% sure that that 'wise man' was Hiruzen

Shisui looked more serious than I've seen him "Because they're lazy assholes"

What? "What?" I look at him in shocked annoyance. "That's why they'd rather change it?"

Shisui just shrugged, raising my annoyance even higher "Either that or they just don't car, and even they don't know how.

I sweat dropped so bad I wondered if the drop could fill a bucket. Heck, I always wondered. Why can Anime make sweat drops like pros, but normal people can't do it (Or at least, those know of)?

Well, that's a question that must have plaugued logic fanatics for eons,

I had just realized that Shisui wanted to get me a training boken, when I hhadn't landed a hit on him "Hold up. I haven't hit you. So why train me"

I thought I would hear some kind of long winded 'I'm proud oof you speech' but….

Shisui just shrugged "If you learn more, you get strong. I really just wanted to." I actually left my jaw wide open from that. Shisui just looked at me blankly "What? You think I can sprout domething heartfelt straight from my ass? Sorry kid, but this ain't no Shonen Anime" With that piece done, Shisui disappeared and I was left to ponder.

I chuckled in a dark and mysterious manner not unfit in a haunted house "Oh Shisui, you have no idea.

Sorry about the short chapter, but I'm running on fumes here. Playing FIFA 20, God of War, WWE2K20, Assassins' Creed Origins and Play Station all stars Battle royale on a daily basis is really unhealthy. I suggest you all try it.

Oh, send me some Pepsi. They're good replacements for caffeine.

If you'll excuse me, I'll go pass out now on my bed. Good night.