Not Beta'd; Standard disclaimer applies.

Yes, it's a new story...thought it appropriate to post the first chapter today.

No Accident/Pranks and Accidents

Tony's head jerked up as the elevator doors opened, his face schooled to show no emotion. "Oh, it's you," he glumly observed when Ziva exited the elevator.

"Good morning to you too, Tony," She commented dryly.

"Yeah, yeah, good morning," Tony replied dismissively.

She paused as she entered the bullpen. "Is this not one of your favorite days? I thought you would be happier today."

"It is," he confirmed before promising, "And I will be," with a glare at McGee's empty desk.

"Where is McGee?"

"Late."

Ziva glanced at her watch, "It is not even 0730, how can he be late? And why are you so early?"

"It's late for Probie," Tony proclaimed. "And I'm here early so we could get this day started. Kinda hard to do what without McTardy."

"I did not know you rely on Timothy so much to do your work," she smirked, sitting at her desk.

"I do-"

"Hey, guys," Abby greeted as she entered the bullpen. "Where's Timmy? I need to talk to him."

"Running late. My guess: he was debating whether or not to call out, before deciding that was the easy way out." While Tony was talking, Abby moved behind Tim's desk to his chair. "Abby, don-" he started to call out before she sat and the chair crashed to the ground.

"Ouch!" Abby cried, alternately rubbing her head, elbow, and back that took the majority of her fall.

"Oh, god, Abby, I'm so sorry. That was meant for McGee," Tony explained, as he approached to help her.

"DiNozzo!"

"It was meant for McGee," he repeated.

"Abby, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm good," she responded, "just bruised. Luckily when Tony called me, I tried to catch myself," she replied, looking at the chair. "What did you do and why?"

"It's April 1st."

Ziva frowned, "I thought it was a day for jokes, not a day to injure others."

"It is a joke, well prank," Tony replied in explanation.

Ziva looked at Abby, Gibbs, and the director who was standing on the catwalk, watching them, "No one seems to be laughing," she observed.

"It was meant for McGee."

Another frown from Ziva, "How would that make it funny?"

"I…it just would be," Tony stated.

Ziva caught Gibbs eyes and turned to Abby, "I'll take you down to Ducky so he can check you out."

"Ziva, I'm fine."

"Abby," Gibbs admonished.

"Fine, I'll go," Abby reluctantly agreed, letting Ziva escort her.

"DiNozzo," Gibbs began when the two were alone.

"I didn't expect anyone else to sit in Probie's chai-"

"DiNozzo," he repeated.

Tony fell silent.

"David has a point," he began. "Jokes that could cause injury are not funny." He looked around and frowned, "Where's McGee?"

"Not here yet," Tony began. "Most likely debating whether or not to call in sick today rather than ris-"

"being subjected to your pranks," Gibbs finished when Tony had stopped midstream.

"Er, done in observance of the holiday," he tried to explain.

"Uh-huh. And how do you explain the other 364 days a year?" Gibbs asked, staring at his agent and waiting for an answer.

Tony opened his mouth, not sure what he was going to say when Gibbs' phone range.

"Gibbs," the older man answered. "Be right up," he continued, before hanging up and rushing up the stairs.

"Saved by the bell," Tony muttered in relief. He had a feeling his reply of 'Practice' wouldn't have helped him or the situation any.

"And put McGee's chair back together," Gibbs called from the stairs.

Tony looked at the chair and withdrew the tools from his desk. "Better than cold cases," he muttered, before getting to work on the chair.

"Boss," Tony greeted as he finished the chair right as Gibbs returned to the bullpen. "McTardy's not here yet."

"McGee won't be in today."

Tony spun around, looking at Gibbs in shock. "Seriously? He wimped out on us and actually decided to call out for today?"

Ziva frowned, she had returned to the bullpen a few minutes ago, after Ducky had given Abby the all clear to return to work. "McGee does not seem the type to call out if he was not really sick."

Tony snorted, "He wimped out on us."

Gibbs issued the first head slap of the day. "He didn't wimp out. He was involved in a car accident on his way in."

"Is he all right?" Ziva worriedly asked.

"He will be," Gibbs replied. "I'm heading to the hospital now."

"We're going too, right?" Tony said, standing up.

"Not yet," Gibbs replied. "The two of you will spend the morning on cold cases. I'll call you when I know more."

"Bu-"

"There's no reason for all of us to be there when there is work to be done," Gibbs replied. "According to metro, his accident was just that, an accident, nothing for us to investigate."

"Yes, Gibbs."

"Yes, Boss."

Gibbs nodded and cast one more look at Tim's desk. "Correction, Ziva, you're on cold cases. DiNozzo, I have two special projects for you."

Ziva frowned while Tony gave a gleeful smile, "Yes, boss?"

"One, you will tell Abby about McGee's car accident," he smirked when Tony went to argue. "Two, undo all of the pranks and jokes you set up for McGee. He might not be in to enjoy them and shouldn't be subjected to them when he returns."

"But-" Tony stopped when Gibbs glared at him. "Yes, boss," he agreed before Gibbs left.

Tony sighed and stood up. "I'd rather work cold cases."

Ziva frowned, "You set up the jokes, surely it will not be that difficult to undo them."

"Not the jokes," Tony informed her, "Abby."

"She is not mad at you for your earlier prank," she stated, trying to give him a bit of comfort.

Tony shook his head, "It's not that, though it does make telling her easier," he admitted. "She doesn't like it when any of us are hurt, but she's especially territorial about her Timmy."

"Her Timmy," Ziva echoed, wondering why that struck her as wrong.

Tony shrugged, "The goth and the geek have a strange relationship," he explained. "They were together for a while, broke up, but still spend a lot of time together," his tone insinuating that it wasn't all innocent.

"As friends," Ziva injected.

Tony snorted, "They remind me more of a couple that's been married for a while," he retorted. "They both are protective of the other, get jealous of anyone new in the other's life,"

"So?"

"So, I think they are still into each other, but won't do anything because of rule 12."

Ziva frowned, "If they really loved one another, they shouldn't let that stop them."

Tony raised an eyebrow. "Would you go against Gibbs?"

"Yes."

"Really?" Tony asked in surprise.

"Yes," she repeated.

"You'd purposely break one of his rules."

"Yes. For a good reason. I know that he has, and so have you."

"What would be a good reason to break rule 12?" Tony curiously asked.

"Love, of course. The possibility of finding the one person who can make your life complete."

"Of course," Tony repeated, surprised by the wistfulness and conviction in her voice.

"Any word from Gibbs yet?" Ziva asked, placing Tony's food on his desk before returning to her own.

"Nothing yet," Tony responded with a frown.

Ziva looked at him, "You look worried," she observed.

"Worried? About Probie? Nah, just saddened that all those jokes went to waste."

"There will be other April firsts," she replied.

"Hey, this one's not over yet," he argued.

"Tony, McGee was just in an accident, surely not even you would booby trap something while he is in a hospital bed."

"Of course not," Tony agreed, the look on his face said otherwise. "But he should be released soon, if he hasn't been already, the accident didn't seem that serious."

Ziva gave him a puzzled look. "I thought Gibbs didn't call?"

"He didn't. I got a copy of the accident report from metro."

"And you did not share it?" Ziva stated, glaring at him as she stood up and walked to the front of his desk.

"Not much to share," he commented. "Besides, you're an investigator; you could've looked into it yourself," he added, turning back to this computer and typing.

"Tony," she warned, her hand outstretched waiting for the report.

The SFA ignored her and continued to type.

"Tony."

He must have heard something in her voice prompting him to respond. "It was sent to me electronically. I forwarded a copy to your email earlier."

She frowned, wondering why she hadn't noticed it as she returned to her desk. "Thank you," she stated coldly, annoyed that he hadn't told her about it earlier. She quickly found the email, sent to her the second she decided to head out and grab them an early lunch, and read the report. "You are right."

"I usually am," he smugly grinned.

Rolling her eyes, she continued, "It does not seem that serious of an accident. So why hasn't Gibbs called us? For that matter, why is McGee still at the hospital? The report does not show any serious injuries; even the pictures of the condition of his car gives credence that he should be fine. He should have been released by now."

Tony snorted, "There is nothing in the report showing a reason to even take him to the hospital."

Ziva's eyes widened as she reread the report. "That is correct. No injuries were reported. Why was he transported there?"

"My guess?" Tony asked, not waiting for a reply. "He saw a legit reason to not come into work today and jumped on it. He probably complained about something after the report was done. You know, a bump on the knee from the steering wheel, seatbelt bruises, something lame like that," Tony shrugged. "After all, even if he came in late, who would prank someone who was in a car accident that morning?"

"You," Ziva seriously answered.

"Well, yeah," Tony admitted. "But I couldn't do the chair, that would make me look like a jerk."

She looked at him, but didn't say a word.

"Hey, I'm not a jerk."

Ziva gave him a look that spoke volumes,

"I'm not," he repeated.

Ziva shook her head. "You took apart his chair so he would fall," she quietly reminded him. "How else would you describe your actions?"

"It's a friendly prank," he tried to explain.

"That is friendly?" she questioned. "You have never done that to me."

"It's a guy thing," Tony informed her, giving a shrug. "My fraternity brothers and I play lots of jokes and pranks like that to each other all the time. Where do you think I learned the superglue trick from?" he teased.

"I do not-"

"You wouldn't understand," Tony added, deciding that there was no way she could and that it wasn't worth the energy it would take to explain it.

Ziva frowned. "And you think Tim understands this? Was he ever in a fraternity?"

"I…" Tony hesitated. "He did the college thing," he reminded her.

"When he was sixteen," she pointed out. "And later went to MIT. I do not think they related to each other the same way you and your fraternity brothers did."

"I…we got off track," Tony stated, redirecting their conversation. "We were talking about why Probie hasn't been released from the hospital yet."

Ziva dropped the subject of the pranks for now. "I am wondering why Gibbs has not called us yet," Ziva admitted, slightly worried. "Could Tim seriously be hurt?"

"Nah," Tony disagreed after a moment of thought. "If Probie was really hurt, we would be there. Plus the accident wasn't bad enough to warrant major injuries," he said, shaking his head. "I'm telling you, he's taking advantage of the accident because of the date. Boss is no doubt too busy yelling at him to call us."

Ziva looked at him and then turned her gaze to Tim's chair before turning back to Tony. "Part of me understands and agrees with that if that is the case. While I do not Tim is the type of man to do that, I hope that is the case and that he isn't seriously injured."

Tony nodded as he started working on the file in front of him. Probie wasn't a reckless driver, not even a fast driver considering he owned a Porsche, and he accident report didn't give any cause for alarm. Not, Tony was confident that his premise was correct.

"Ooohhh,"

"What?" Ziva asked, looking at Tony.

"Probie's taking advantage of the accident and the date," he boldly stated.

"You already stated that you thought that was what was going on."

"Yeah, but I mean it in a different way," he began. "He's not doing it to get out of work, as most people would, or to avoid my jokes and pranks."

Ziva gave him a puzzling look.

"He's doing it to try to turn the tables and play a joke on us, on me," he concluded, staring at Ziva.

She frowned, "You think the accident was staged?"

"No," Tony admitted. "Probie wouldn't do that. But he would try to prank me before I could prank him. No doubt he's at the hospital trying to convince the boss to play along."

"Tony,"

Tony shook his head. "Nope," he injected before she could say anything else. "I learned a long time ago not to believe anything anyone says or does on this day. Now I just have to decide if I'm going to play along or turn the tables back on him," he finished, a maniacal grin on his face.

Ziva just rolled her eyes and sighed before deciding that the best thing for her to do was ignore Tony and get back to work.

4-1-2020

So there's the first chapter...let me know what you think and if you're interested in more

Yeah, and not sure about the title, but that's what I called it when I started it and now it's stuck in my head that way...