Grief

It started with Fives making the offhand comment, "What do want to do after the war generals?"

Anakin shrugged. "I dunno - haven't planned that far ahead."

That got a few laughs out of everyone.

Cody took a drink of caf and wiped his mouth. "What 'bout you, General Kenobi?"

"What about me?" Obi-Wan asked cryptically, holding his caf a bit to tightly and staring at a stain on the wall.

Anakin did a rapid calculation in his head and tried to withhold a grimace - today was Korkie's birthday. No wonder his master had been so uptight all day.

Obi-Wan should be home today, with his family.

Obi-Wan would be, of course, mortified if anyone knew his precious secret.

Anakin kept that secret closer than his own.

"Come on, General," Waxer grinned and took a bite of his burrito. "You can trust us."

"Any long hidden desires?" Ahsoka asked innocently. "Spice trading with Hondo? Extended leave on a beautiful planet?"

"Extended leave with a Mandalorian Duchess?" Jesse asked, raising his eyebrows suggestively.

"If the war ends tomorrow," Fives began, barely able to keep from snickering.

Don't finish that sentence, Anakin thought desperately.

"I reckon they'll be a Kenobi shaped ankle-biter this time next year."

"Like that Korkie kid!" Echo chirped enthusiastically.

Obi-Wan went rigid, his teeth audibly grinding together. His jaw was so tight was surprising he could even get a word out. "Why would you think that, Arc Trooper?"

The table was quiet. Obi-Wan only used titles when he was extremely angry. One did not have to be a Jedi to sense his rolling emotions.

The clones exchanged glances with each other, then to Anakin and Ahsoka.

Ahsoka shrugged.

Anakin was close enough to witness the glassy sheen on Obi-Wan's eyes, and the way his fingers shook while he readjusted his fingers on his fork.

"I just figured..." Fives shook his head and muttered, "Sorry sir. Didn't mean to upset you."

Obi-Wan nodded, cracking a small smile. "Quite alright, Fives." The smile quickly turned into a frown, and he pulled out his comlink. "Excuse me, gentlemen. I should take this."

"Whadd'ya reckon's up with him?" Rex muttered while Obi-Wan walked away.

"Dunno," Cody murmured. "He seemed pretty out of sorts after the whole Hardeen thing - it only just got better until last night really."

"Bet it had something to do with the Duchess," Fives said, munching on his crisps.

Anakin thought about telling them the truth, but just as he opened his mouth, Obi-Wan slid back beside him and dropped his comlink onto the table.

"You're back," Rex said.

"Indeed I am. Wrong frequency."

"Did you give the other person a shock when you answered, General Kenobi?" Cody asked to break the tension.

Rex and Ahsoka shook their heads and laughed.

"You okay?" Anakin asked, watching his master take a sip of caf.

Obi-Wan met his gaze over the styrofoam rim, eyes blank and puffy. He raised his eyebrows a bit, and set the caf down. "Fine."

Anakin frowned. "Master - you weren't around all day. I just thought because of the date - "

"I'm fine, Anakin," Obi-Wan snapped a bit too loudly, drawing the attention of several clones.

Anakin stayed quiet, peering at the still-on screen of Obi-Wan's comlink. Making a show of checking his caf cup, he stood, clapping one hand on his master's shoulder and leaning in. "You should call him back, Obi-Wan."

Because it wasn't a wrong frequency. Anakin could tell that much.

It was Korkie - and Obi-Wan had let the call go unanswered.

Obi-Wan glanced at him, eyebrows ticked up in that sad, infuriating way of his. "Should I, Anakin?"

He heard shuffling, ragged breathing and the creak of a mattress.

Obi-Wan sighed heavily, and was quiet while he searched for something before clicking it on.

Anakin cracked his eyes open, watching his master through his lashes, feeling his stomach drop.

Obi-Wan was holding a holo-picture in his hand, staring at longingly, tears coming down his cheeks. He tried to wipe the tears away before ultimately putting the picture aside and burying his head in his hands. The blue light shone against the wall, perfectly outlining the silent shaking of Obi-Wan's shoulders.

Obi-Wan...crying.

Pressing his lips together, Anakin rolled over, towards the wall of the chamber. He could hear his master's quiet gasps for breath, the way his emotions raged like a tidal wave.

Grief. That's what Anakin felt coming from his master. Grief and homesickness.

He closed his eyes, willing himself to sleep.

Author's note: another thing that was in my drafts. Several people told me they enjoyed The Lawless (which has one more chapter because I didn't intend on letting my drafts become a 3 shot, now I need one scene to tie it all together)

Enjoy Obi-Wan grieving in a way that is often overlooked in Star Wars but is a very real reality of many soldiers - missing their children's birthdays and grieving for their loved ones.

Enjoy!

ii Digestive Reader ii