If things were different

I arrived at the house after I did not meet with Sakura. Immediately, I saw a tv report that presented...

"A 17 year old girl was found stabbed by a masked individual. She was brought to the hospital and was declared..."

I stopped. I heard her name. Life, as I know it, became pointless. The floor was hard when I fell unto it and endless tears flowed from my eyes.

Why I did not wait outside her house! I could have fetched her there! Her mom could have knew me. I am weak and a coward. Had I been strong and courageous, I could have proposed to Sakura and marry her at her last months to live. She could be cured and we would have been happy together, and Perhaps being happy with me can make things better...she might recover; there might be just a chance.

But I had to play the weakling. Now, I am a lost soul.

I cannot attend her funeral. I was anxious.

I missed school for several days. Learning was no longer my significance. I wanted to go to the library and finish my job but that place will traumatize me.

I wish I did not know her. I wish I did I not talk to her. I regret ever making friends with her...that hospital was bad luck.

Maybe she could have been alive without me...without me having to invite her to my life.

She chose to drag me into her life. I do not know how to feel anymore.

Sakura, I am sorry for being a coward. You changed my life. You made me feel loved by another person. If I had lacked focus on others except for family, I could have married you, maybe have kids, and dedicate my entire life to you.

Then, I am weak. I'm so sorry.

If you can hear me, I just want to mention that.

I love you...my life is worthless if you're not there to make me communicate with other people, to make me love you, care about you, talk to you..

If I married you, I could have left school just to take care of you. I wanted to spend every single moment of every day with you, my beautiful and only friend.

I don't know if Kyoko can be my friend now, she won't be after this. My life is a mess; no one can fix it anymore. Only you fixed it and...I know what to do...

I can't take this anymore, I'm sorry.

I hope we can be together after this.

HARUKI, NOOOOOOOOOO! I'm here now, I love you.

—

I wake up from a terrible nightmare. During that dream, a criminal stabbed Sakura. However, she is here, sleeping soundly beside me. I had made the right choice. I gathered my strength and proposed to her after seeing the fireworks. I rarely left her alone, from the hospital and...Everywhere.

"I said yes. In addition, I am always with you, now and forever. Thank you for saving me."

Sakura, you're awake? I am sorry for waking you up so early.

You had a bad dream? Here, here, don't be sad. She sings a lullaby to calm me down.

I love you, this may be too simple, but I had to say that. She kisses me. All worries disappeared through that kiss. Let's sleep. Adventures await us once we wake up.

I slept again, embracing her.

Morning came; we woke up to help grandma prepare breakfast. We stayed with her in our countryside house for a few weeks so Sakura and relax and be away from the pressures of our school and the city.

A few days after I was discharged, we got married. It was in city hall at the middle of the night, it was so romantic...only our moms, a family friend and the city official were present. We were both 18 by then…our birthdays were so close. We are meant for each other! Since the doctors said that countryside living can improve my well-being, we moved here in this beautiful farm with all the awesome trees and fields!"

"Kids, help me with the eggs. Could you cook them for me while I prepare the soup?" Grandma calls.

Yes, I will be there, grandma, she responds.

School was becoming stressful with all the talk around about our marriage and the false rumors of her pregnancy. I never touched her, even if we were married. Sakura handled stress gracefully by her happy attitude, but we decided to leave town after the wedding. We would be attending online classes at the same pace so we can graduate with the rest of our classmates.

Haruki, the baby is crying!

Before we came here, someone left a baby at grandma's doorstep. Grandma says that he was a gift from heaven to us. We took care of him as our own, until his parents appear. A search is underway for the parents of the little angel. If no one surfaces, we will adopt the baby. Grandma can take care of us, and our parents gave us some resources to use.

I cuddled him and played faces. He smiles at me and calms down. I gave him milk and he sleeps back right away. I placed him on the crib.

We ate breakfast with grandma and grandpa. Sakura smiles as she eats the ramen. "It is so delicious, grandma!"

I also say, "Your ramen is the best!"

"I always cook delicious meals for my grandchildren", she says kindly. "Haruki, thank you for coming to us in the farm. Sakura, thank you for making him into a better person."

"Arigato, grandma for this wonderful meal", we say. She smiles at us.

Grandpa adds, "Haruki, you are really a big boy now. Many years ago, you were still small and introverted; now you are so tall, and you are married. I remember when I married your grandma and we were young then. Take care of her, and you will continually be with each other for a long time, just like us."

"I will, grandpa."

I love grandpa so much. He was more than willing to help us in our situation.

"Sakura, I am hoping that you will last with him. I know your illness. Perhaps I can suggest natural therapies."

"Thanks, grandpa. I will remain with Haruki until...the world ends."

"Don't forget, after this, you go to your small carry-on tv for school! That was how grandma called our laptop."

"Yes, grandma."

We fixed up the kitchen and prepared for school. It only took us a few hours since we read the modules beforehand. We only have to view the videos and answer the exams

Once school was finished, we helped grandma in caring for the small farm by feeding the chickens, sheep and goats. She usually plays with them.

"Look, Haruki, the goat is so cute!"

The baby cries again, but a friend of grandma takes care of the little one. Perhaps he may have a diaper problem. We changed his a few times, and I tell you, it was...never mind.

The town scheduled a fireworks display that evening. We planned to see it.

"Keep safe, kids, do not forget to be home before the night gets late."

We went to view the breathtaking display, but Kyoko texts her.

"Sakura, I am so sorry for judging you. This is your life, not mine. I have no right to say those regrettable words to you because you married him. You are the master of your life, and I am here to support and help you in whatever way I could. Please forgive me, Sakura. Tell Haruki the same thing. Gum boy misses him a lot!"

Should I forgive her?

I say, "It's up to you."

She texts back, "YES! We forgive you and miss you, Kyoko. Could you come here sometime? You'll love it here in grandma's farm!"

Kyoko replies, "Arigato, Sakura and Haruki. I miss you every day. I will visit soon."

I am so happy that we're friends again. We arrive at the mountain where we could watch the fireworks.

Sakura, this reminds me of the time in the hospital...I says, but she closes my mouth and hugged meinstead.

Quiet...I'm alive for a long time, Haruki. You will not lose me. We are bound to each other. Also, don't spoil the moment!

Then, we kissed at the sight of the fireworks. It's so romantic.

I yelled to the heavens, "I love you Sakura!"

She says in return, you are mine forever, Haruki!

We returned to grandma's farm. "How was it?"

So beautiful, I respond.

"You should be in bed now, kids."

Then, we kissed and slept. Apparently, we have a similar dream. Both of us were walking in a forest of cherry blossoms. Kyoko and Gum Boy also joined us. It was so amusing.

Haruki can wake up happy now. He only needed me in his life, and I needed him as well. Life has become better, with us ready to face whatever adventures it has in store.