Well... it's been a very, very long time since I've posted anything mainly because life has gotten crazy busy. But with college being online for the rest of the semester, I have been able to dedicate time to catching up on some TV that I had to push to the sidelines when classes were face-to-face. I have fallen in love with these two characters and the amazing writing the writers for the show give to both of their backgrounds and emotions. I hope you enjoy!

Saying this case was rough is an understatement...

Any life lost is painful, but when it's the lives of two kids, the effects are felt in a different way.

"Hailey, get down!" She hears her partner yell the second the gunshots explode in the night.

"Jay!" She yelled back as she ducked behind the nearest vehicle.

The gunshots continue as she tries to locate their origin in the darkness of night— the only light being the dim streetlights of the neighborhood.

Suddenly, he's there next to her, asking her if she's good at the same time she's asking him the same question. "I would be a hell of a lot better if we knew where these shots are coming from," he answers her. She raises her eyebrows in agreement and takes another peak over the hood of the car they are taking cover behind as the sirens of backup approach.

They had been on a late-night stakeout when their suspect Nathan came out of his apartment building for the first time since he went in four hours earlier. They knew from previous intel that he lived alone and never had company at his place, giving Halstead and Upton the perfect opening to search his place.

After the suspect got in his car and left, Atwater and Ruzek were put on his tail while Jay and Hailey prepared to conduct their search. When approaching the building, the gunshots broke the silence.

"I think they're coming from Nathan's apartment window," Hailey answers Jay as the shots continue.

"How is that even possible?" Jay asks back as he takes a look over the car. "He's supposed to be alone, but the timing of this whole thing is too coincidental. It has to have something to do with Nathan leaving."

As backup surrounded the apartment building, the discussion of possibilities was put on hold.

Then they heard it. Above the sirens. Above the gunshots. The blood-curdling scream of a mother who just lost her children.

The CI who provided Intelligence with their information got one key piece of information incorrect. While the suspect does, in fact, live alone, two of his friends had come to stay with him. This information that had developed approximately six hours prior to the shootout— before the stakeout had begun but not long enough ago for the CI to update the team. The group had somehow made Jay and Hailey, setting them up for the big event, beginning with Nathan leaving his apartment.

The boys had been returning to their building next door from delivering homemade cookies to a family friend in Nathan's building. When the shooting started, they darted out of Nathan's building to get home, but they were unable to make it to safety before being hit by the offenders' bullets. The boys weren't even seen coming out of the building because Jay and Hailey had taken cover and the lighting of the block was too poor to see them.

Despite knowing that there wasn't anything they could have done without all of the information and successfully capturing both shooters and Nathan, the loss of the boys was still heavy on the partners' heats and minds.

Jay and Hailey sat quietly in the car with the keys still in the ignition.

"You know there's nothing we could have done for them. It was just the wrong place at the wrong time," Jay said, breaking the silence.

Hailey looked at him, slowly nodding, but he could see the sadness in her eyes. Finally, she managed, "Yeah... but that doesn't make it any less hard," looking down at her hands in her lap.

"No, it doesn't," Jay agreed, reaching over to give her arm a squeeze.

Hailey looked up at him and gave a small smile. "Let's just get out of here," she replied, opening her car door.

Jay removed the keys and followed his partner into the district and up the steps to Intelligence's unit headquarters.

After packing up their stuff for the night and listening to every team member's condolences about the situation, the partners made their way to their respective vehicles.

"Want to come over for a beer?" Jay asks as he opens his driver's side door.

Hailey contemplates the offer for a moment before answering, "Nah, I think I should just go home and try to get some sleep."

"Hailey..." Jay says in that soft way that means things are serious.

He should know by now that the tone he uses when he says her name like that makes her heart drop. It's when she knows they need each other.

"I know, Jay," she says quietly with that small, sad smile on her face. "It's the thing that works. One of us wants to be alone, and the other refuses to let it happen."

Jay smiles at her sentence, nodding his head.

"Exactly, but tonight, I think we both need the company... I'll see you at my place in fifteen," he says as he gets into his car and turns the key in the ignition.

She's exhausted, but he's right. Tonight, both of them need their partner, so she follows his lead and starts her car, driving the route she knows almost as well as the one she takes to her own place.

When they get to his place, he leads the way up to his third-floor apartment, neither of them saying a word the entire way up.

As they make their way into his apartment, she takes off her shoes and coat, setting them in the open spot on the welcome mat and on the coat rack. She had come here after so many cases that he no longer filled the emptiness, always having an open space for her to fill.

They drink beer and find an old football game on TV, barely speaking the entire time but enjoying not having to be alone with their thoughts. At some point, he stands up from the couch and grabs the stack of board and card games they had gradually collected since becoming partners. One of them usually purchased a game, and they played it every time they needed a mental break until they got bored with it and one of them decided to buy something new. They were in-between new games at the moment, so they spend the remainder of the night sitting next to each other on the couch, making their way through the entire stack, and only speaking when one of them was taunting the other. Eventually, the games stopped, and they both sat in silence until they dozed off.

Suddenly, Hailey startled awake. Her head had been resting on Jay's bicep, and her quick movement woke Jay up as well.

"Are you good?" He asks as he stretches his limbs and looks at his phone to see that it was 6 A.M.

"Yeah, yeah," Hailey assures him, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. "I should head back to my place."

"Don't be ridiculous," Jay scoffs at her pronouncement, standing up and waving her to follow him.

He opens the door to his bedroom and points her in the direction of the bed. "We got like two hours of sleep while pretty much sitting upright on my couch. Try to get some real sleep."

She raises her eyebrows at him and crosses her arms over her chest with that dangerous smirk on her face. "You want me to sleep in your bed...? Definitely not how I imagined this happening."

"And what did you expect?" Jay replies with his eyebrows mirroring hers, suspiciously watching her body language.

"Oh, I don't know," Hailey shrugs. "An expensive dinner first would have been nice," she says with a devilish smile on her face.

Jay rolls his eyes, "I let you drink my beer! If you're going to get picky, next time, all I'm offering you is water."

"Joke is on you. I would choose water over beer any day," Hailey retorts with a look of superiority even though that statement could not be further from the truth.

"Next time you're getting nothing, then," Jay says, admitting defeat. "Now, get in bed and get some rest."

"And what are you going to be doing?" She asks, pulling back the covers because let's be honest. She really is still exhausted.

"I'm going to go for a run to finish clearing my head," he responds, smiling at the fact that she finally seems to be giving in to his hospitality.

Jay begins to turn around and head back out into the living room when he hears Hailey call his name. Turning back around, he sees her head propped up on her elbow with his blankets covering her. "Thank you for always being right where I need you to be," she says with a soft smile.

He gives her a smile in return. "And thank you. I'll be back in a bit," he says, fully turning around to get his running shoes on.

She removes her head from her elbow and places in on the pillow, making herself comfortable in her partner's bed. Within minutes, she is fast asleep until she feels the other side of the bed dip under the weight of another human being. She can tell Jay is trying to be as quiet and stealthy as possible as not to disturb her. He has done a pretty good job so far, considering she can smell his shampoo and body wash as he crawls into bed. He must have showered after getting back from his run without her hearing him come in.

She can tell he's facing her back by the way his breathing is making her hair move slightly every time he exhales. She slowly rolls over to face him, hoping to sneak a peak at his resting face. However, when she gets on her other side, he is already look right at her. She blushes slightly at being caught and instantly tries to kill the silence.

"How was your run?" Hailey asks quietly.

"It was good. I'm sorry for waking you," Jay apologizes softly.

Hailey smiles at him, shaking her head. "Don't worry about; I'm a pretty light sleeper."

Jay raises his eyebrows at that statement and chuckles, "Right. So that's why you didn't even stir when I came in to get my clothes?"

"Hey! I wouldn't be so tired if you would have let me go to bed before 6 A.M.," she exclaims back, swatting at his shoulder.

"Okay, okay," Jay says, raising his hands in defeat. "First, we fell asleep at like 4, so you're just being dramatic. Second, if you're going to use it against me, I'm going to sleep now before I get myself in any more trouble."

"Oh, you need the sleep. Otherwise, you'll get crabby," she retorts with a wink.

Jay just groans, rolls his eyes, and closes them, settling into the bed next to her.

Hailey chuckles quietly and follows his lead, closing her eyes in hope of getting more rest.

She doesn't fall asleep right away. Instead, she listens to his soft breathing until she starts to drift off... but not before feeling his hand reach out for her, resting it gently on her hip. A small smile makes its way across her face, and then, she's out.

There's a shift after that night/day, but nothing that anyone from the unit would notice. Their looks linger on each other a little longer than usual, and they make eye contact across the room, sharing small smiles more often.

Then...

He gets hurt... again.

Very hurt... again.

Bullet-lodged-in-his-side hurt... again.

And she's terrified as she holds pressure to his wound, willing the ambulance to come faster because she can tell he is seconds away from losing consciousness.

"Jay, please stay with me," she begs as she feels his body go limp.

He lost a lot of blood, but they say he'll be okay.

It hurts to shift in the hospital bed, but his back is starting to hurt from being in the same position for too long. He hisses in pain as he uses his arms as leverage to readjust. This act distracts him from noticing her presence in his room until he pauses to catch his breath. When he looks up, she's watching him intently with her eyes scrunched in concern, and he notices how red they are, surrounding the blue that is normally so noticeable against the white of her eyes.

He gives her a smile as she makes her way across the room, closing the distance between her and his bed. She doesn't say anything as she moves, just looks him over quizzically, trying to determine if it's safe for her to feel relieved.

"Are you here to break me out?" He jokes, breaking the silence.

She doesn't chuckle like she normally would. Instead, she breaks her eye contact with him to look down at her feet, sticking her hands in her back pockets.

He notices the difference in her reaction immediately.

"Hailey, what's wrong?"

She looks back up at the sound of her name, and he can see the tears in her eyes, threatening to spill over. She still hasn't broken her silence, so he speaks again to reassure her the situation is good, "Hey, I'm okay."

This statement gets a scoff out of Hailey as she looks briefly to the ceiling before making eye contact with him again. "You were shot. Again. You were unconscious from blood loss. Again. That is not okay, Jay."

He wasn't sure how to respond. He could tell she was struggling to speak without her voice cracking.

"This is our job. I can't control everything that happens out there, Hailey. You know that. I'm sorry I scared you."

Her hands and jaw clench as she tries to control the anger he just triggered inside of her.

"How many times has Ruzek been in the hospital? Atwater? Burgess? Rojas? Hell, me?" She asks tightly, staring at him with so much intensity that he's afraid the building is going to crumble down around them from the pressure.

When he doesn't answer, she asks again, "Tell me how many times Adam, Kevin, Kim, and Vanessa have had to stand in the hospital waiting room, surrounded by a million other officers, waiting to hear if their partner made it through surgery? Tell me how many times have you been in my position. How many times have you held me in your arms while I fall unconscious? How many times have you had to sit in that waiting room for hours, waiting to hear if I am dead?"

He still remains silent.

"Damn it, Jay! TELL ME!" She shouts, pounding her fist once on the open space of the bed next to his thigh as the tears finally break through and fall down her cheeks.

"Hailey..." he says in a low voice with soft eyes, reaching for her hand.

"Don't 'Hailey' me. Just answer my question," she quips as she snatches her hand away before he can make contact, using it to wipe the tears from her face.

He nods his head in understanding and takes a deep breath.

"I'm sorry that I keep putting you in this position. You're right. It's not fair that I'm the only person in the unit who ends up in the hospital after a case. I do my best to protect everyone else, and I know the risks involved with that. It's just how I do things," he tries to explain.

"That. Isn't. Fair," Hailey enunciates. "We are all on this team for a reason. We are all capable of taking care and protecting ourselves."

"I know that," Jay says, nodding. "But I would much rather be hurt than our roles be reversed. I don't want to be out there in the waiting room having to be a sitting duck if you get injured."

"Jay, you are talking about making an entire case your responsibility," Hailey says sharply. "I am your partner, and if you really trust me, you would let me do the job that you know I can do without putting yourself in extra danger. I can handle myself out there," she says with her hands on her hips, pacing in a circle.

"But I can't trust that!" Jay exclaims, grabbing her wrist to bring her back next to the bed and hissing as the reach stretches his side. "Every time I hear a gunshot or see you take after a suspect, I know that you are able to dodge the bullet or take down the bad guy. I trust you more than anyone with my life, but what happens if you aren't fast enough just one time? None of us are perfect, and I can't help but think of the worst ending when it comes to you. Not because I doubt you but because I can't lose you, Hailey. I can't stand by and risk you and I trading positions. I can't risk having to stand next to a hospital bed and see you in so much pain.

"And what am I in now, Jay?!" Hailey asks loudly. "You think I'm not hurting? I may not have been in surgery for two hours, have stitches in my side, or bruises all over my body, but I am in pain. I'm going crazy, worrying every time we are on the scene that this time, the ambulance won't reach us in time. That they won't make it to the hospital in time. That the doctors can't make you okay this time. That I'm going to lose my favorite human being on the planet because he can't figure out how to control his constant need to be a savior! I'd rather be shot than this emotional mess," she says all in one breath.

She follows this by taking a deep breath and throwing her hands up in the air, using them to massage her face while Jay's hand is still wrapped around her wrist.

When she drops her hands, he tugs on her wrist, looking at her with soft eyes and patting the empty space on the bed next to him. She reluctantly sits with her body slightly turned toward his but with her feet still touching the ground.

They sit in silence, staring at one another, until he finally breaks the silence, giving her wrist a light squeeze. "I never thought of the situation that way... I just thought I was protecting you by making sure I always take the fall. I don't want you to be afraid of losing me, and I promise that I will work on being safer. You can't get rid of me that easily," Jay says, giving her his side smile and looking at her with teasing eyes.

The tension is suddenly gone, and of course, his smile is contagious. She grins back and nudges his arm with her elbow, rolling her eyes. "What would you say if I told you that I don't want to get rid of you?" She asks, raising her eyebrows.

Jay raises his eyebrows in return and opens his mouth in pretend awe. He releases Hailey's wrist, moving his arm to around her shoulders and pulling her the rest of the way onto his bed. As she lifts her feet from the floor and onto the bed, he softly kisses her forehead, pulling her tighter toward him and rubbing her upper arm with his hand before whispering with a smile on his face, "I would say, 'Good to know.'"