Chapter One

Claire had barely been gone half a day before the rumor mill started.

She deleted a third text asking about her work trip, this time from one of the trauma nurses who thought it hilarious to add a string of annoying emojis: flame, heart eyes, winking smiley face. The tone of Claire's response wasn't as whimsical. That earned her a laughing emoji in return. The latest news proved too tempting for her work friends not to comment on, apparently.

Newsflash: Dr. Claire Browne and Dr. Neil Melendez. In a hotel. In Vegas. Overnight. Claire couldn't believe they were stuck together.

This latest drama came courtesy of a patient in critical care who'd recently undergone an experimental surgery she and Melendez led. He'd been recuperating nicely but collapsed in Las Vegas while visiting his son. After talking it over with Dr. Lim and the hospital in Nevada, she and Melendez had flown out to assist the surgical team there.

Of course, the gossip hounds weren't treating it like the medical emergency it actually was but another chance to stoke the tired flames of the Browne-Melendez Favoritism Conspiracy Theory.

The timing also stunk, to add insult to injury. The slower than usual pace at St. Bonaventure meant that she'd made good progress on an article she and Park were submitting to the American Journal of Surgery. They'd both set a deadline for the end of the week to finish a first draft, and this side trip threw a major monkey wrench in that plan. If she was being honest, the workload she could handle; the root of her stress related to something else entirely. Namely, the whole being alone with Neil Melendez.

Spending so much one-on-one time with him didn't appeal to her at all. Or rather, it appealed to her too much, and that was the problem.

Turning back to the notes in her patient's file, Claire chastised herself for that train of thought – her patient deserved her commitment and undivided attention, not a petulant bad mood. She hated how everything had gotten so complicated between herself and Neil, but she made sure it never affected her work or devotion to her patients. Not that she regretted building a friendship with her attending. After her mother's death, Neil's mentorship and sympathetic ear played a huge role in keeping her from a dark, destructive road.

Maybe because Neil had known her longer, he'd gotten through to her in a way Alex and Morgan hadn't, though they'd made a good effort. Even now a few years removed, it seemed unreal how overwhelming her pain had been then. To this day, it still mattered that her co-residents had supported her – and covered for her – while she worked things out. She sometimes thought about that day when Neil had sat with her silently as she sobbed, understanding nothing about her situation except that she seemed close to breaking. He somehow realized that his companionship without judgment meant more than platitudes or sage advice. After, he pushed her to listen to her therapist, gave her an outlet when things got to be too much. He reminded her that her compassion was a gift that he valued about her, even if it sometimes meant getting hurt. She couldn't accept that coming from Morgan or Park. Yet coming from Neil, she let herself start to believe it might be true.

And when her feelings for Neil deepened, it shocked and embarrassed her. After all the righteous arguments she'd made about their platonic relationship – the harmlessness of the runs and dinners and after-work drinks – she'd been the one to cross the line emotionally. The situation with Dash had only complicated things. She couldn't trust herself not to hurt Neil either.

Except at times, she thought Neil felt something there too. After she'd texted him about Morgan admitting to the favoritism complaint, it'd been his idea to stage a fight to distract her and Andrews. He'd insisted their friendship was worth it. It was one thing to tell her he valued her as a colleague and that she pushed him to be a better surgeon, even dancing with her under the guise of making their patient happy. But revealing that she made him a better person? How could she not think more of that confession? He'd actually said those word to her; she didn't imagine them. Yet, nothing positive could come of digging deeper into what he'd truly meant or confessing to him the emotions he'd stirred in her. It would ruin both of them professionally to even suggest such a violation of boundaries, and she'd lose both a mentor and a friend.

So, after dissecting every angle with her therapist, she'd committed to never letting Neil know how far down that road she'd gone.

Then when the earthquake had happened, she'd come close to destroying everything when Neil got hurt. In her panic, she worried that she'd regret it forever if he died without knowing what he meant to her. Yet when they'd all finally reunited, his brush with death hadn't seemed to change anything for him. Oh, he'd been worried about all of them, relieved to see they were fine, happy to just be alive. But her heart had wanted – had expected – something more.

That's when she knew for sure the attraction was one-sided. And she realized something had to change.

Things with Dash concluded much more reasonably. They'd promised Kayla a genuine attempt at a relationship. Dash would offer Claire that box of recipes when he felt ready, and if Claire accepted, they'd both make the effort – hopefully, start by cooking dinner together and go from there. It didn't take long to realize what they'd both known from the start: their love for Kayla would always be a barrier to any truly long-lasting romantic relationship. The root of their affection for each other came from their shared history, inextricably tied to memories of the loved one they'd lost. The acceptance of that came as a relief, really.

She'd didn't tell Neil about that either, and strangely, he never asked. Months later when it finally came up that she and Dash hadn't been seeing each other in a while, he'd looked surprised. Claire worried at the disappointment she sensed, too, in his expression, probably conceding that she genuinely didn't know how to get close to men without hurting them. Defensive, she'd almost brought up her suspicions about him and Lim being back on, but wisely kept her mouth shut.

Their casual friendship became the hardest part to give up. They still had the occasional runs, easy late nights working on a medical case, a rapport that reflected their mutual respect and comfort with each other. But an unspoken agreement put a stop to the dinners and outings. And shades of an undefinable distance emerged between them as well. They'd both tired of fielding the rumors. All of Neil's residents had made snide remarks, and Claire knew Lim had been on him too.

And well, Claire couldn't stand to be so close to him knowing how easy it would be for her to fall completely in love. After a few weeks, all of the talk died down anyway and some new drama filled the gap of aimless work gossip.

Finishing her surgical residency made it easier, too, despite continuing in the same cardiothoracic specialty as Neil – easier mostly because they didn't work as closely now that she had her own patients and rotation different from his. Claire saw Park and Morgan all the time since Park had chosen a trauma surgical specialty and Morgan would hop on any surgery to enrich her short career in the OR. Shaun opted to continue his residency in neurology, so she saw him less but often enough.

She never told anyone about her feelings for Melendez. No one could ever know.

Sitting around reminiscing about her sad life and even sadder relationship with her former attending didn't seem like a good use of her time. It was done. They were here. She had to get over it. Hearing a ping on her phone – and relieved it wasn't another nosy text – Claire answered a minor question about a patient her colleague agreed to monitor while she was away. As she packed up her files and checked how long it would take to order a car, the rumbling in her stomach reminded her that she'd meant to leave hours ago to check into the hotel.

As if his ears were burning, Neil came strolling into their temporary office. He set his briefcase on the chair next to her and checked his phone absently.

"Hey, I thought you'd be at the hotel."

Neil still looked pretty relaxed, excited even, a sure sign he felt confident about the surgery they'd conduct in the morning. He'd spent the afternoon getting all the necessary approvals for their admitting privileges to lead the surgery, which involved coordinating with the surgical team personnel about needs. Claire's job had been to make sure the patient remained stable and reassure him about what to expect, likely finishing up before Neil. Rather than wait around for him, it made more sense to touch base at the hotel if anything came up.

Their patient had other plans, though, and Claire easily recognized the nerves underneath the tough exterior. Figuring she had extra time, she'd sat with him for a while to take his mind off the fact that he could die on the table the next day. They chatted about a couple of TV shows he liked – she'd listened and vowed to give them a try. They'd made fun of the uptight doctor who'd checked in on him as they talked, and he'd recounted his pride over his son's first ever comedy show as a headliner. That's how he'd ended up in Vegas. Before she knew it, almost two hours had passed. Her patient had actually kicked her out, thanking her for the company and assuring her he'd be on good behavior for the night staff.

"You know how Tim is," she said, finally answering his question. "He had to tell me all about his son's show and then all the television and movies I should be watching." Neil grinned, understanding perfectly their patient's coping mechanisms. Claire chuckled thinking about the light-hearted jokes their patient had made at Neil's expense, too, mostly about his tattoos.

As she tidied the table where they'd spread out journals and notes, Neil watched her pack up. Claire had brought an extra bag for her research materials, not that she'd honestly thought tending to their patient would give her a lot of time to work on her article. Seeing her struggle with the load, Neil grabbed her briefcase, only handing it back to her after she'd gotten herself settled. Claire nodded and smiled tightly in thanks.

"We can head over to the hotel together then," Neil said off-hand, checking his watch. "Maybe grab an early dinner before the crowd. I heard there were two huge concerts happening and the town is overflowing with tourists."

Claire winced. "Of course, there are." Neil chuckled at her reaction having already heard about how much she hated Las Vegas. They headed out the door together, Neil flicking off the light as they left. "I should work on my article, though. Park is going to be annoyed if I don't make any progress."

"You gotta eat," Neil countered, flashing a familiar smirk in her direction. "Come on, it'll be quick."

Classic Neil Melendez charm. As they took the elevator down to the main floor, Claire's face warmed, and she shook her head.

"Besides," he added, I wanted to talk to you about the resident interviews you sat in on." Claire had been chosen as the cohort representative for the vetting process, more because no one else wanted to do it. It had been mostly interesting and also weird choosing the young doctors meant to replace you.

"You want to compare notes, don't you?" Neil didn't deny it, but threw her another of those cocky glances.

"I value your opinion, Dr. Browne. Especially when I know what I'm up against if I have to go toe to toe with you."

She laughed at their running joke, his mock annoyance about being on the wrong end of her persuasiveness. He continued to stare at her, challenging her to say no, even as they both knew she'd agree.

"You're buying, of course." Neil nodded and grinned smugly all the way to their rental car.

This was what always happened: they'd be somewhere alone, he'd be playful and charming in a completely harmless and platonic way, and she'd waver and fold and make excuses for why he had this effect on her. Even after all this time, she couldn't get him out of her system – she hated how hard she had to work sometimes not to be attracted to him.

It only took five minutes to drive to the hotel. They hadn't strictly needed the rental car, but didn't want to be at the mercy of cabs or car services if they had to rush out for a medical emergency. After checking in, they'd met up again at the hotel restaurant and, as promised, ate a quick dinner where they mostly agreed about the resident candidates up for contention. They'd even shared a laugh at one they'd called mini-Morgan for her bald ambition during the Q&A.

As usual, their downtime with each other naturally turned relaxed and comfortable, their friendship and understanding of one another making conversation flow smoothly. The ease of it all often fooled Claire into forgetting how much she'd ached for so much more at one point. And then she'd experience a flash of irritation at how pathetic she sounded. Even as she'd watched him date other people – including a brief resurgence of his relationship with Dr. Lim and a girlfriend he'd seen for the better part of nine months – she'd feel the sting of longing. Eventually, she'd have to get over it.

Instead of lingering and torturing herself further, she excused herself to go work on her article after Neil paid their check. He'd looked tempted to tease her again, but instead told her not to stay up too late and mentioned going for a run before turning in for the evening.

An hour later, she again watched Neil stroll toward her, confused expression over why she was now back in the lobby with her papers and laptop spread out on one of the coffee tables.

"What's got you out here? I thought you were hunkered down in your room?"

From his clothing and demeanor, Claire could safely assume he'd gone out for that run or maybe had hit the gym. His t-shirt was slightly damp and clingy with sweat and his slightly loose but annoyingly snug pants looked more rumpled than usual. Before he sat down next to her, she watched two women do a double-take as he passed, eyes lingering on the frankly alluring picture of Neil Melendez in motion. They followed his trajectory to see Claire at the receiving end of Neil's attention and pouted to each other. That did give her a bit of satisfaction.

Claire shook that thought from her head and focused on his questions.

"Ugh, it sucks actually. There's a group of dudes here for a bachelor party next door. The hotel's full, and there's nowhere to move me. It's not the best environment for concentrating."

"Ouch" He leaned back in the chair crossing his feet in front of him. "Did the hotel say anything to them?"

"I think someone went up there, but it didn't help much. I mean, they're not out of control, but when you're trying to work on something …" She waved it off. "It's fine. I can work down here, and I have earplugs that should help me sleep.

Neil's brow furrowed, clearly concerned. "Did you tell them that you're a doctor and have an important surgery tomorrow?" For a moment, Claire thought he might storm over to the registration desk himself and start making demands.

"No, Dr. Melendez, I did not play the doctor card."

"Well, you should have," he argued. "It works." His mischievous grin amused her and reminded her of a young boy up to no good. He picked up one of the articles she'd been reviewing as she inserted her citations into the draft. "You're using this study? Interesting." He continued to read, flipping pages and tilting his head every so often as he absorbed the text. Claire rolled her eyes at his curiosity. He acted like this naturally cool genius, but he was as big a nerd as the rest of them.

Finally, he put the article down and sifted through her pile of sources. "I can't wait to read this. Based on your research angle alone, I think you're likely to get published, and pairing it with Park's section should make it even stronger."

Claire ducked her head, always at a loss for words when he praised her so adamantly. "Uh, thanks. It's been fun to research."

Neil nodded absently and began asking her a few questions. Before she could process how it happened, they were engaged in a full-blown brainstorming session. He grabbed her laptop and began reviewing the draft she'd been plodding through for the last three weeks, offering suggestions and looking a few things up himself on his phone to prove a point. When a particularly loud group of party-goers passed by their corner, they looked up and realized that a couple of hours had passed. It wasn't late, but if they wanted to be well rested for their surgery, it seemed wise to turn in for the night.

Gathering Claire's papers, they continued to chat as he walked her to her room on the same floor as his but in the opposite direction from the elevator. When they arrived, he could hear the revelry coming from next door. Claire rolled her eyes as she unlocked her door and he followed her in, already agitated on her behalf. Neil looked around, probably noticing she hadn't unpacked, although she'd taken a shower before their dinner and left a few files out on the desk about their surgery. On the other side of the wall, muffled voices could be heard, not loud enough to call security, but definitely annoying.

"Earplugs it is," Claire declared. "Thanks for bringing my stuff up. Now that I think about it, I did bring an awful lot of crap with me. I guess I got distracted by all the noise." She chuckled and directed Neil to place the papers and folders he held onto the dresser area.

"You sure you don't want me to go downstairs and play the doctor card," he inquired, mostly kidding, but he'd probably do it if she gave him permission.

"No, I'll live. Next time, though, Airbnb."

Neil laughed heartily. "Oh yeah, because what the gossip mill will love more than the idea of us staying overnight in the same hotel is the two of us sharing an Airbnb."

Claire's heart sped up at the comment. She always thought he was oblivious to the occasional chatter about them – he rarely mentioned it. But apparently, he'd been listening.

"Well, it's been a long time since all that business." She tried and hopefully succeeded in sounding casual. "I'll take the gossip mill over this, right now. Not that I have a choice."

Neil stared at her intently, expression unreadable. She was about to ask if something was wrong when he spoke up. "Hey, why don't we just switch rooms. It looks like you're mostly packed and so am I. And I can fall asleep and stay asleep through anything." Claire raised a brow at his suggestion. "And if the boys get too rowdy next door, I'll either bang on their door or play the doctor card downstairs.

Claire chuckled. "You are really itching to do that. I wonder if you have a complex." He shrugged. "That's very nice of you to offer, but it's not –"

Walking over to where she was packing up her stray papers, Neil looked directly down into her eyes. "It's not a problem. I want to do it." He held her gaze, the intensity sending her heartrate through the roof again.

These moments continued to make her question everything about what he felt for her; how he'd react if she admitted how she'd once felt for him. How she still feels right now at times like these. Instead, she shook her head, not trusting herself with words.

"Come on," he prodded. "Stop being so difficult, and let me be helpful."

Claire didn't know how much more she could take of this version of Melendez: intense, aggressively caring, and focused on her. She needed to get out of the situation.

"Fine, I won't waste time arguing. Let's go." Neil's satisfied smirk made her almost want to reconsider, but then a loud cheer and chanting drifted in from next door. Claire quickly gathered up her stuff, and followed Neil out the door before he changed his mind.

TBC...