9 DAYS EARLIER

"Don't you wanna be with me?" Rosa asked.
"You know I do but there's a lot at risk here. I'm a public figure. Carmella is beloved by the fans. I can't just dive in head first without thinking about everything first," Corey said.
"So these last seven weeks meant nothing?" She asked.
"Don't say that," he said.

He grabbed her face and caressed it. He didn't like seeing her sad.

"I love you," he said.
"But you love her more," she said.
"I love her too," he said. "It's a shitty situation."

He leaned down for a kiss but she stepped away from him. She didn't want to give him anything more than she had already given him. Not if he wasn't about to take the step with her and make it official.

"Give me some time," he said.
"I can't do it anymore," she said.
"Is it really that bad?" He asked.

He knew he had messed up the moment those words left his mouth. He knew it was that bad. She was suffering at home. She had told him how the dark thoughts of suicide had been there everyday until she decided to seek him out and see if the old flame was still there. He had become a beacon of light, and she had found him.

"Look, all I'm saying is that I'm not ready right now. We can keep in touch. No one needs to know that we're talking. If you feel down one day, you can always text me. I'll answer as soon as I get a chance," he said.
"So you're sending me back to him?" She asked.
"For now," he answered.
"For now or forever. It doesn't matter. You might not be ready but I can't go back to that life. I can't continue living like that. I want out, Corey. I want out," she said.

She grabbed her bag and walked over to the door. Suddenly it all became too real. She wasn't gonna stay at the hotel after all like they had planned. She was not gonna give him another second of her time when he wasn't ready to commit. He couldn't blame her for that. Soundlessly he followed her from the room to the elevator. Once it arrived, she grabbed his shoulder to prevent him from stepping into the metal box.

"Stay. You can catch the next one or take the stairs," she said.

She stepped into the metal box and stared at him.

"It doesn't matter that you send me back to him. I will still love you," she said.

The doors started closing slowly.

"I will always love you," she said.

He wanted to scream back that he loved her too. He wanted to put his hand on the door to stop it from closing and taking her away from him. He wanted to jump into the elevator with her and be with her for real. His own fear stopped him. He was afraid what the fans and his work place would say about him if he left Carmella for an unknown ex. He was afraid what they would all say about Rosa on social medias. So he let her go. Once again he let the love of his life go.

"She went home. Two days later she put a gun to her head and ended her life," Corey said.
"Did she leave a suicide note?" Baron asked.
"Not that I know of. I've stalked many of her family members and friends' facebooks. No one mentions a note. She just ended it all, and they're all confused to what happened. They don't know what I know," Corey said.

They had both made it inside Baron's car. Baron hadn't turned on the engine. For now they just sat there outside the graveyard and talked.

"I wasn't ready," Corey said.
"It's not your fault," Baron said.
"I should have been ready," Corey sniffled. "I just got so caught up in what people would think. I should have known. She told me she was close to ending it all before finding me again. I gave her hope, and I took that hope away again."
"Hey," Baron said softly.

Baron placed a hand on Corey's arm and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"Listen, Corey. Things would still have ended like this if she hadn't found you. It's not your fault. You weren't the one abusing her. Her husband was. We as humans can only take so much before we break. He broke her. You loved her," Baron said.
"I should have loved her more," Corey whispered.
"You loved her with all your heart and she knew that," Baron said. "But her mind was already in a dark place. It would have taken much more to pull her back up from the hole she was in. You have no way of knowing if she would have gotten better if you had left Carmella for her."
"Can we go now?" Corey asked.
"Of course," Baron answered.

Baron turned on the engine and put the car in gear. He looked over at Corey again.

"What are you gonna do now?" Baron asked. "I mean, with Carmella."
"I'll stay," Corey said.

Corey finally turned his head to look back at Baron.

"I know that makes me a piece of shit," Corey said.
"I'm not so sure about that," Baron said. "You loved Rosa but you love Carmella as well. We can love more people at once. You love them differently. Loving Carmella isn't wrong."
"Cheating on her is," Corey said.
"Then don't tell her," Baron said. "If you can find a way to live with this on your conscience, move on and do right by her. Continue the relationship and marry her down the line. That doesn't mean you have to forget about Rosa and stop loving her. She'll always be in here."

Baron tapped Corey's chest on top of his heart. Corey nodded and looked out of the window again. Baron pressed down the gas pedal and the car slowly started moving.

"I wasn't ready," Corey said lowly. "Fuck me! I wasn't ready."