A/N: This is my first smut ever and was prompted by Aimee, who has been a magnificent beta and cheerleader, keeping me motivated and assuring me it's good! I hope you like it, I loved the prompt when I read it and I'm excited to share it with all of you!

Say That You Don't Want Me

The knot in his stomach tightened with every step, overcome with urgency and the effort to fight but feeling crept upon by the fear rising inside of him. He needed her, even after all these years, and it finally hit him that he just couldn't live without her. He thought he could, thought that he had gotten over her and pushed all those feelings aside but when he saw the letter, saw the words in black and white, he felt himself growing paler.

It was easier when he didn't know how painful it would feel. When it happened, when it struck him that he was actually losing her, it was suddenly real and he realised he hadn't thought this through at all. And that he'd been stupid because she was right there, in front of his face, and he shoved everything she had done for him right back in hers all under the premise of doing what he thought was right.

He didn't want to hurt Paula but, between hurting her and following his heart, the lines between right and wrong seemed blurrier than he'd first thought. How could he let her think his heart belonged to her when he knew she would never be enough? How could he watch—no, force—the woman who owned the key to his heart walk out of his life, maybe for good?

Harvey couldn't picture a future with Paula and it was in that moment he knew he'd fucked up, big time.

But there was time to fix it. He was able to fix it, even though it might cause collateral damage along the way.

So, he found himself hurrying to apartment 206, heart pounding hard against his chest with every step. He needed to see her, he needed to tell her. He just needed her; no one else would ever compare.

And maybe, just maybe, she would leave anyway because he had asked her to go. He knew it was a possibility and he wouldn't be angry if she did but, damn, it would hurt. It would hurt him to lose her just as it hurt her to realise that he was choosing a few months with his ex-therapist over 13 years of an unspoken, all-consuming connection.

He swallowed the thoughts and the fears, knocking six times, anxious to see her face.

And he did. She peeled the door back slowly, eyes tired and sad, worn down by being blindsided by him and he felt wracked with guilt.

"Harvey, what are you doing here?" Her voice echoed just as much resignation as her letter. There was obvious exhaustion underpinning it while she tried to bury the upset deep enough that he wouldn't notice it.

"I came here to give you this," he told her, reaching into his pocket to take out her letter of resignation. She watched as he ripped it up, handing it to her, feeling her breath catch in surprise.

"Are you sure?" She asked, still trying to process the moment playing out.

"I am." He's sure and she knows it, taking the torn paper from his grasp, feeling like he'd given her back a piece of her heart.

"Does she know?" Confused and bewildered and in disbelief that he was there, in front of her. That he came back for her.

"She does," he revealed and she's glad, thinking she could feel relief washing over her. "It's over."

"Are you okay?" Donna asked because, as much as she hated to admit it, he had chosen Paula over her only hours before. While she was relieved beyond belief that he'd changed his mind, that she really did mean more, the blonde he was ready to lose her for must have meant something to him or they wouldn't have been in this mess in the first place.

"Will you come back?" The question left his lips in an instant, leaving no time for her to take a breath before he seemed to snatch it away again.

"Yes," she said with an eager nod—because she had never wanted to leave.

"Then I'm okay." The anxiety settled, relief washing over him because he was getting her back. "See you tomorrow."

"Do you wanna come in?" She asked and it was almost a whisper, her big doe eyes luring him in and pulling on his heartstrings but he felt the fear returning as soon as she said it.

"I shouldn't," he replied, hesitating slightly and she could hear it.

"That's not what I asked," she pushed because she thought she'd lost him forever and it had been eating her up even before that night. Yet, in that moment, he was there. He'd chosen her and that made all existing ideas of what they should or shouldn't do fly out the window because she was terrified that, if they kept on waiting, he would never be hers.

When he said nothing, she took a step back, wordlessly begging him to realise that she needed him, too. Her eyes were reminiscent of a time not too long before, a time when he'd walked away and they nearly lost everything. He could feel his breathing grow shallower, stuck between fear and desire until it hit him that he was risking losing her whether he stayed or left.

"We can have a drink for old times' sake?" she smiled, feeling hopeful.

Staying suddenly felt like his only option.

"Yeah, why not," he said and he watched her smile grow more sincere. She moved aside to let him in and soon they were sitting on her couch, Donna with wine and Harvey holding a tumbler of scotch.

"I'm glad you're coming back," he said before bringing his drink to his lips, the idea of dutch courage seeming particularly appealing.

"Me too," she admitted. "Writing that letter wasn't easy," she scoffed, trying to make light of the heaviness that had filled her heart that day.

"I'm sorry," Harvey said quietly, swallowing his shame.

"It's okay, I understand."

Of course, she did, she's Donna. And that infuriated him more than anything, that he could hurt her like he did and she'd forgive him so easily. It was why he's so relieved not to have lost her… she's different and special, and she gets him.

"But you shouldn't have to," he said and Donna looked away. She didn't want to talk about that, about the way it had hurt her so much to choose to leave, to abandon the job and the man she loved because he didn't want her there. It had happened, he came back, it was over and firmly put in the past—precisely where Donna wanted to keep it.

"It's fine," she said, batting it away before gulping down a large mouthful of wine.

"No, it's not." Harvey didn't want to let it go, wanting to make sure Donna knew just how sorry he was, how wrong he was and how much she means to him. "You do deserve your position, Donna, and I shouldn't have made you give it up like that. You deserve better than that, you deserve more than that."

"More?" Donna questioned, suddenly transported to a few months before when she asked for more and he all but slammed the door in her face. She was happy in her position as COO, she loved it. It was challenging and it was fulfilling but it wasn't what she was asking for that night, not really. And, to top it all off, it seemed to push her and Harvey further apart. Maybe she shouldn't have asked for more of anything because it nearly cost her not only her best friend, but the person she loved more than she ever thought possible.

"I shouldn't have put you in that position," he said, glossing over her inquisition because he was still too scared to touch that.

"You know, for a second there…" she trailed off, shaking her head and scoffing because she couldn't believe she thought he'd say something else. A silence fell around them, both sipping on their drinks to relieve some of the tension. "Maybe you should go," Donna continued.

"Is that what you want?" Harvey asked, catching her off guard because she didn't expect that kind of reaction. She waited for a moment before replying, gathering her thoughts and trying to find her words.

"I want you to stop ignoring that there could be something more," she said, wetting her lips. "I want you to stop pretending that we're just colleagues. To stop pushing and pushing to see how far the line will stretch and when it looks like it might break, you run a mile in the opposite direction." Donna sighed and looked away, Harvey noticing immediately that she was exasperated and tired.

"Donna…" he replied, saying it in that same old Harvey way that made her knees begin to buckle and her heart begin to pound.

"No," she said. "Don't Donna me, Harvey, it's exhausting."

"So, what?" He asked, bluntly. "Are you saying you want me to cross that line?"

His question was met by a silence, Donna wide-eyed and his collar feeling too restrictive.

"I don't know, Harvey," she admitted. "But I do know that I want you to do what you want, rather than pushing boundaries and chasing maybes until they become too real."

Her heart was beating so fast inside her chest at this point that she thought it might jump out. The two of them, sitting there on her couch, confronting feelings they'd spent years suppressing felt reminiscent of a night when he'd quite literally saved her life, only to cross a line and run away. But now, he wasn't running. Instead, he was sitting in front of her, contemplating his next move.

Only, unlike so many times before, she couldn't read his thoughts. She had no idea what he was thinking or planning and it only made her feel more anxious. Maybe it was because this territory felt scarily unfamiliar, or maybe he was just a never-ending puzzle she'd never truly be able to solve.

While her cogs were turning, so were his. His mind running in circles and always coming back to the same point: her. Because she was Donna, and she was different, and maybe he'd have to take a risk—a leap of faith—if he ever wanted to be truly happy.

Harvey closed the gap between them, leaning closer until there was no space left to fill and taking Donna completely by surprise. His hand threaded through her hair, lips colliding like a thousand galaxies had united upon his command. His everything had just changed because now, she really was his everything… and that realisation had him leaning a little further and kissing a little deeper, drowning in the taste of red wine and the memories of strawberries and whipped cream.

Donna was certain he'd stopped time, his soft lips causing flutters throughout her body. He was invading every one of her senses. Her heart was hammering inside her chest and her knees felt wobbly at the mercy of his touch. She was grateful she was still sitting so she couldn't fall. His fingers in her hair, against her cheek, causing every hair she had to stand on end, igniting a fire she'd spent over a decade trying to smother.

When he pulled away, they both felt at an instant loss but he needed to know. Know whether this was right, whether it was what she wanted, too. And the look on her face told him all he needed to know; the hunger in her eyes and the hot gasps she rapidly expelled told him she was there with him and wanted exactly the same as he did.

So, he dove back in for more. Ravenous hunger took over and caused him to devour her. The hand on her lower back reached for the hem of her knitwear, he pushed it up her back as his other hand came in to help until Donna pulled away and finished the job.

Harvey found his gaze settling on her black, lacy bra. He remembered her body 12 years prior—more frequently than he'd admit—and had spent lonely nights worshipping that memory, so to see her here before him made his member twitch in the confines of his pants.

His lips found her neck, seeking out the point that he knew made her weak at the knees. His hands fumbled with the front clasp on her bra, undoing it and enabling her to release the garment from her chest, instantly taking advantage of the increased access.

His hands found her breasts, cupping them in his hands at first, feeling her hard nipples brush against his palms as he indulged in touching her. He trailed kisses down her neck, over her collarbone and down her chest, finally meeting her breast and taking her right nipple between his lips. His teeth grazed over it, a whimper escaped her lips while his hand fondled her other nipple. He soon swapped over, performing his ministrations on the opposite nipples, while he basked in her elation and the soft sounds that escaped her throat.

Her fingers pushed through his hair while she tried to steady her shallow breaths. Until he stopped, that is. His lips found hers again as he moaned into her mouth, obsessed with the taste her mouth provided.

"Wait," she whispered between kisses. "Not here," she continued, as her hand ran down his scalp and tugged on the short strands at the nape of his neck. His brows threaded in confusion, prompting her to stand and take him by the hand, leading him off of the couch. He followed her, letting her lead him to the bedroom, thumb brushing against the back of her hand.

He flicked the switch when they entered, not wanting to miss a moment. He wasn't interested in blindly stumbling, this was it for them and he wanted to savour it.

Donna's fingers fumbled over the buttons of his shirt, quickly trying to undo them before pushing it over his shoulders. She ran her hands down his chest, impressed by the body she didn't know he was hiding behind the three-piece suits that drove her crazy.

Their lips reunited, sparks flying within the confines of their mouths while Harvey backed Donna up, closer to the bed until her legs hit it. She let herself fall down on top of the comforter, pulling Harvey with her, a slight chuckle escaped her lips until he resumed his activities. He nipped his way down her body, briefly returning some attention to her breasts before kissing trail down her toned stomach until he reached the hem of her pants. He pulled them down her legs, panties too. so slowly he was teasing her.

"Harvey," Donna warned but he didn't relent, continuing to slowly remove the garments.

He was just as slow to travel back to her centre, letting his hot breath tickle her thighs, feeling goosebumps rise beneath his hands.

He locked his dark eyes with hers, swimming in a pool of desire. He placed a soft kiss on the inside of her thigh, close but not enough, frustrating a desperate Donna whose eyes were begging for him to act soon.

"You're so wet," he smirked, almost impressed by the effect he had on her.

"Harvey, please," she begged, her words drawn out because she needed the contact almost as much as she needed air. She'd managed to wait twelve years and yet, now, with him here and ready between her legs, she couldn't bear to wait a second longer.

She needn't hold her breath, promptly gasping at the feeling of his lips against her clit, brushing against it. She felt herself writhe when his tongue circled it, unable to control herself under the intense feelings of pleasure.

He lapped up the taste of her, proud of the effect he was having on her, holding her thighs down when he began to suck. A groan fled from the back of her throat, hand shooting to his hair as he continued to nip and suck, at one point allowing his teeth to graze over her which elicited another, deeper groan in the midst of her shallow—but loud—breaths.

She was revelling in the growing heat in her core while his tongue flicked against her, taken by surprise at the intrusion of his finger, slipping easily between her wet folds. He removed it only to add a second thick digit, briefly pausing the work of his mouth to see her reaction. In awe as her mouth formed a perfect 'o' and the breathy sounds that escaped it, before he dove in for more, eager to push her closer to the edge.

And push he did.

He curled his fingers in a come-hither motion inside her, hitting that spot that drove her crazy. It wasn't long until the tight coil that had wound within her released, jolting through her body, right down to her toes and causing her to cry out.

He carried her through it, continuing to please her until the convulsing around his fingers slowed and her breathing began to steady.

"Oh my god," she whimpered, eyes sealed shut as she tried to compose herself.

"Good, huh?" He smirked, feeling smug as he made his way up to her mouth, hovering above her.

"Better than," she grinned, as her hands travelled over the curves of his shoulders, down his back to his pants. "You still have too many clothes on."

He smirked as she dipped her fingers into the waistband of his pants, circling round his waist to finally undo his button and zipper before yanking them down. He stood at the edge of the bed and let them slip down his legs, moaning a "Donna" as she palmed his length through the fabric of his boxers.

She bit down on her bottom lip as she added a little pressure, watching him tip his head back in pleasure. Next thing Harvey knew, she'd pulled down his boxers, allowed his member to spring free and was licking a long stroke up the underside of his cock. When she reached the head, she engulfed it between her lips and made a steady journey down its length.

He hissed when she hummed, the vibrations reverberating through him driving him even crazier than her bobbing and suction already were, his hand pushing scruffily into her fiery tresses. Soon he was pulling her away, needing her to stop because if she carried on like that he wasn't sure he'd be able to last much longer.

"Turn over," he instructed and she complied with a glimmer in her eyes. Her body and breasts now rested face down on the bed, her ass exposed to the air.

She whimpered when she felt the head of his cock rub against her slit, over her very stimulated clit and back again. Harvey repeated the action a couple of times, driving both of them crazy until she had to protest.

"Harvey, I need you," she groaned, fingers already gripping onto the comforter.

"Need?" he asked before repeating the action and earning an "ungh".

"Need," she told him. "Now," she pleaded, and Harvey happily obliged.

He fully entered her in one thrust, Donna so wet that she provided enough lubrication for his thick manhood to easily slide home accompanied by a grunt.

She responded with a gasp, adjusting to the feeling of fullness. It was too much and not enough at the same time. An invasion of her senses, taking over every inch of her and smothering her, but it was a welcome intrusion.

It felt like this had always been the way. That they'd never been apart. And when she signalled she was ready for him to continue, it felt like everything finally made sense because this was where they were both supposed to be. His hand scooped beneath her body and cupping her breast, his thrusts steadily getting harder and faster as they both got closer to climax.

He brought a hand down, finding its place between her legs and blindly flicking at her sensitive, over-stimulated bundle of nerves and that was enough for Donna.

She fell first, with knuckles that turned white from gripping the sheets so tightly and hairs on the back of her neck that stood on end because Harvey's breaths were tickling her ear. Submerged into a galaxy of a million stars that gripped every fibre of her being and rocked her core.

And her wall's convulsions pulled Harvey along with her; one, two, three more thrusts and he was spilling inside her, his own orgasm taking over.

They stilled, breathless and spent and neither wanting to move. The physical connection too long-awaited for to give up, a reminder that they were here, together, after everything and this was where they'd stay.

"You know I love you, Donna," Harvey said into her ear, hand trailing up and down her arm as he settled himself carefully around her, wary of his weight on her delicate frame but not yet ready to move from the position they found themselves in.

"I know," she replied with a smile. "I love you too, Harvey."

He'd said before that they had everything but he was wrong. This was everything... and he wouldn't change it for the world.