Chapter Eighteen: Everything

"Ems, you doing anything Friday night?" Graham asks as he throws a paper ball from his desk chair into the wastebasket in the middle of their two desks. Several other balls surround it. His ball hits the rim and falls out. Emma throws her own and it makes it into the basket.

"No, not really."

"Wanna get some beers at the bar? Watch the game?" he offers and she shrugs.

"Sure, why not?" she says and sinks another winning shot into her basket. Graham misses again. "Is it a date?" Emma questions. Lately, they've been doing this 'friend that I flirt with shtick' and she's not sure if he's serious or not on the whole situation. Ever since they slept together about a month ago, things have gotten a bit more intense between them. More flirting, more inside jokes. More touching. It's nice.

Emma thinks maybe she could find a new home. A new home with Graham. He's a kind alpha, and he's available. Besides, Henry seems to like him. More than Kat at least. Emma still doesn't understand what the kid has against that woman.

Graham gets up from his seat so suddenly that it wobbles a bit. He leans over on Emma's desk, bringing his face close to hers. She can smell his woodsy scent. It's nice. A bit like Regina's. But more grounded. Maybe one day she'll stop comparing him to her, but for now, she's making strides in the right direction. In finding some one else for her. Someone that can love her.

Even if she and Regina are on better ground with each other right now, something tells her it won't stay this way for long. Soon Kat will given birth and Regina will be occupied with her new kid. At least Henry's excited to be a big brother.

"It can be a date if you want it to be, Ms. Swan," he says gallantly, taking her hand in his his and kissing the knuckles there. That is of course, the moment that Regina decides to walk in. on Emma being so cozy with Graham. Emma doesn't know why but her back snaps up straight and she's embarrassed to have been caught like this, even if it's good she's doing this.

Regina stops in the doorway, her gaze narrowed in on Graham. It's a look Emma has seen before. When Regina saw Merida touching her back in the hallways of their high school. It was swiftly followed by Emma being yanked away. But not today; Emma wasn't going to allow this.

Graham looks lost under Regina's suddenly cold gaze and Emma can feel something in her chest clawing at her. It's hope. It's that damned hope she buried long ago. There's only one reason that Regina could be feeling this way. Emma shoots out of her seat, making strides towards Regina to get her out of this room. Graham knows how Emma feels about the mayor but he's never dug deeper into it than their one conversation post sex. And she doesn't want Regina to give him trouble, because she has a feeling she would. So, she needs to explain things. Let her know, that Graham might potentially be Henry's 'father' if things go right.

The grip on Regina's elbow is tight. Emma nearly drags Regina out of there and to the roof of the not so tall building. They need some fresh air.

"What are you doing?" Regina demands indignantly as she jerks free from Emma and glares at her hard. There's a flush to her cheeks that Emma hopes isn't reflected in her own.

"I'm not yours."

She says this, hands on hips, voice solid. Controlled. She had thought she'd been alone in this for so long. Sure, she knew Regina had felt something for her. Hatred perhaps for running away, but perhaps a lingering fondness for the memories they'd had. A love of the past. But no, this wasn't just a past love. If Emma knew they were mates, then they were mates. And Regina felt for the exact same way Emma had felt.

They needed to clarify things for once and for all. Because Emma won't be a homewrecker and she will not string Graham along just for stolen moments of time with Regina.

"What-what are you talking about?" bursts out of Regina's mouth. She wraps her arms around her shoulders, like she's trying to protect herself.

"I know you Regina. Despite not seeing you in so long, I still know you. And I can feel you," she gestures to her chest, stabbing a finger down into her own flesh to feel the pain it brings, a pain that is reflected in their agonized connection. "I know we're mates. I've finally accepted the fact. I've tried to move on because I respect your marriage. But you don't get to come in there and look at Graham like that."

"Like what?" she snaps out, brows descending.

"Like you get to hate him, and be mad at him, for being with me. For liking me. You have no right to be jealous because I can't be yours."

"I wanted you to be mine." This comes from Regina's mouth before she can stop herself and finally, its out there. For all the world to know. Hearing it, brings no relief to Emma like she thought it would. It just makes her sadder, madder.

"Doesn't matter what you wanted," Emma shook her head sadly. "You were right. We couldn't be together."

"And what about now?" Regina ponders, and Emma almost can't believe the words coming from the mayor.

"Are you fucking kidding me? You're married, Regina." Emma scoffs, flabbergasted by this. Would Regina really throw all that away for her?

"Don't get me wrong. I care for Kathryn but it was a forced marriage," Regina admits and Emma is even more flabbergasted by this.

"Wow. You let your mother bully you into even marrying someone you don't love?" Emma shook her head. "That's so sad, really. Maybe it was best she chased me off. I would have married a spinless git."

Regina doesn't know what to focus on first. The fact Emma could see herself marrying Regina or that her mother had chased Emma off. Regina focuses on the latter. "What do you mean my mother chased you off? What did my mother do to you?"

She can feel the vein in her forehead throbbing. The mention of her mother has her steaming. Cora. Of course, Cora had something to do with this. Why hadn't she thought of it sooner? Why hadn't she known? But how had Cora figured it out? They had been so careful. They had dated in secret.

Emma sees the look and tries to back out. She forgot she wasn't supposed to tell Regina this. "It was a long time ago. It doesn't matter anymore."

"It fucking matters to me. Because if she did anything to hurt you-!" her voice rises and she cuts herself off, feeling herself choke on her own anger and words. Emma hangs her hand, crosses her arm over the railing. She looks down. The parking lot is filled with cars. There's Emma's Bug over in the corner. She really should get a new car. But money has never been easy for her. It's always been hard to find.

"She...She paid me off to leave you." She admits this in a whisper. Shameful almost.

Regina's anger deflates. A coolness fills her. Money. Emma had gone with that. And why shouldn't she? Cora had loads to spare, and Emma had been an orphan. Still, it hurts. It hurts so much. "You chose money, over me?" Her voice shakes and she goes to lean on the railing like Emma, but she doesn't look down, she looks up. Otherwise tears might fall from her eyes, aided by gravity and she doesn't want that to happen. Doesn't want to break down in front of Emma. Because she's been broken down enough times about it before.

Emma is angered by this. Does Regina think that Emma is that cheap? That easily bought out? "I didn't, okay. I fucking didn't. She tried to give me the money but when I didn't take it she resorted to black mail. She knew I was having your kid and I was fucking scared of you finding out and so I ran. I ran from home, ran from you. I regret it every day. The only smart thing about that whole situation was Henry. Keeping him."

Regina closes her eyes, processes all this. It's a lot to take in. And it hurts, but it's like ripping a band aid off. It hurts but for a short while and then the wound underneath is healed. "How did you even manage to raise him on your own without a home."

Emma's eyes shifted warily. "I found...I found someone." Regina's blood is instantly boiling with jealousy. "He was a beta. Nice enough guy. I did some petty crime with him to get food in my mouth. When he saw I was ready to pop he let me live with him. If we ended up dating it was only because I had to, out of necessity. I needed the house and the money and he took care of me and the kid like Henry was his own. But then," she shrugged, "Henry got old enough and I got tired of Neal's drinking so I left one night. Just disappeared without a word and came to Boston to start my own life. And now, I'm here." She turns Regina, shrugs. Like the misery that occurred in her life can be summed up by one careless shrug. As if Emma's suffering didn't even matter.

"Emma..." Regina breathes out, clutching the railing for support. She feels dizzy now. Overwhelmed with hatred and sadness and relief. She doesn't know what to say, but the words force themselves from her anyways. "You shouldn't have gone through that. Not without me. You...you should have stayed with me. I would have protected you."

"How?" Emma scoffs, shaking her head. "You were so scared of your own mother we dated in secret."

"That wouldn't have mattered. Not in the end," Regina determined. "I would have taken my family inheritance and ran away with you to support the kid."

Emma blinks at her, in shock. "You...but you had a near perfect life. You would have given up your money, your family, your house, your friends, and your future, to be with me?"

Regina works her jaw. "So what, you were supposed to happily give yours up for mine? You could have been a soccer star. You could have gone to college! You could have had me to support you instead of some drunken beta."

Emma shakes her head, this time more slowly. She watches people pass on the street while Regina watches the clouds float by. "It doesn't matter. I was...I had foolish dreams about being a player. But it wasn't good enough. I was only in high school-"

"You were good enough. And you're still good enough now," Regina said, placing her hand on Emma's, finally meeting her eyes. Those words means so much to Emma. To hear, that she is good enough. That Regina holds her in high regards. But does the woman really mean them?

"But...I'm not college educated. I don't have the best job, and I'm not a perfect parent," Emma self deprecated. "I was a criminal, Regina. So I could survive on the streets."

"You are good enough. No one is perfect."

Emma contemplates this, feeling tears press at the back of her eyes.

"Do you love her." Emma finds herself asking. It takes Regina a moment to respond to the sudden shift in tone. She leans away, taking her hand with her. She knows what this is about, who it's about. And she doesn't like it.

"I do."

"Yes, but do you love her."

Silence. A painful one. "No," Regina admits in a harsh whisper. "I tried to. All these years I did. I was doting, nice. Trying to fall for her like she had fallen for me. But I couldn't. I care for her deeply because she's my best friend and she will always be that. But love...love in the way I felt for you?" Regina shakes her head. "No. Never."

Did this make her a terrible person, especially since she and Kathryn had a baby on the way?

"I still love you," Emma said, voice cracking as she finally admits what's been eating her up from the inside all this time. "After all this time, I do. I guess there's something about us that says we're meant to be together."

"Maybe in the past," Regina says choked by emotions. Emma still loves her. Never stopped thinking about her. "But, my future is different now and it's one thing I won't be is a cheater. If I want something I'll get it the hard way if I have to."

"And do you want me?" Emma whispered, afraid of the answer. For a second Regina contemplates saying everything. But she doesn't. She shouldn't.

Regina shook her head. "Emma, it doesn't matter what I want. Sometimes wanting everything doesn't mean everything should be wanted. But if I had to choose..." She leaves it there, allowing the silence to speak for them.

"Where do we go from here?" Emma asks.

"I for one, never hated you. Never, even if you did break my heart by leaving," Regina affirms. "Even if I tried to hate you because I knew I should. The anger never really stuck though."

"Really?"

"Yes," Regina admits and she feels a bit lighter, all the heavy weight on her shoulders gone. "So, don't worry about trying to get forgiveness from me. I should be worried about getting your forgiveness."

"Huh?" Emma blinks, confused.

"Emma, can you ever forgive me? For not being there when you needed me?"

"I...yes," Emma breathes out a small smile on her face. "I can forgive you. Because I know if you knew, you would have helped me."

They smiled at each other, shy little things, before just standing there together, both gazing out at the parking lot.

It's been two days since Emma's confession and Regina hasn't been able to sleep at night. It eats her up inside that Cora did this to Emma. Emma who had never done anything wrong, or anything to hurt Cora. Cora had just done it because she could.

Regina wanted to do something to get back at her mother. If it hadn't been for her, Regina could have been married to Emma right now. They could have both had an entirely different life. Regina had been a spineless git. She'd been bullied by her mother her whole life. It wasn't until college that she saw she could do things for herself. But by then it was too late. Things had already been set into motion. But no more.

Regina was going to take her destiny into her own hands.

"Babe, you look tired," Kat commented when she found Regina in the kitchen, lap top out. She wasn't quite sure which direction she would take, but all she knew was she needed to find a way to stick it to her mother. She knew she had to wait a bit as she was going to be prone to anger and overreact or be sloppy if she took action now. But that was fine. The longer she stewed the sharper her anger would be.

The more it would make her mother bleed.

And Regina was out for blood.

"I'm fine," Regina said, draining her second cup of coffee. "Work is just...putting me through the wringer right now."

"I hope you'll be okay," Kat rubbed Regina's shoulders before taking a seat in front of her. "Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something."

"About what?" Regina said absentmindedly, eyes tired behind her glasses as she scrolled down the screen.

"About..." a heavy sigh, Kat clasping her hands together. "About Emma."

This gets Regina's attention. She closes the lap top and focuses on Kat. "What?"

"You've been spending a lot of time with her and it's starting to bother me." She says carefully and then decides to give up the pretense. "Actually, it's always bothered me."

"I thought you said you were fine with this?" Regina questioned. Did Kat suspect Regina's true emotions for Emma? If so, this could be very bad.

"I'm not. You should be spending time with me. Not with her. You're barely home."

Was that true? She and Emma had been spending more time together but only because they were getting along so well after the play. "It's not because I'm always with her," Regina explains. "Work comes up."

Kat doesn't look like she believes her. She has a sort of defeated look on her face.

"Nevermind," she murmurs as she gets up. "I have something's to do." She leaves and Regina stares at her back, worried. But she doesn't know why.

Regina picks up her work phone once it rings. "Hello, mayor Mills."

"Regina, hello darling."

Regina freezes, blood in her veins turning to ice then fire. It's her mother. "What do you want?" she questions not so kindly. Now that she knows it was her mother's fault for ruining Emma's future, and technically Regina's future relationship with her, Regina wasn't going to take this lying down. She was a bit like her mother that way. Offenses dealt to her would not be so easily forgiven. She was going to do something about this. She just didn't know what.

"Is that anyway to answer your mother?" Cora said, voice sickly sweet.

"It is, when you've done the things you've done," Regina spat icily. Her grip on the phone was white knuckled.

"Oh," and Regina could imagine her batting her eyes, feigning innocence. "Whatever do you mean."

"Some things have come to light," Regina said diplomatically.

Cora hums, as if she expected to hear this. "Indeed, some things have. I heard your little ex-girlfriend was back in town, and that you were getting chummy with her."

Regina is shaking with anger now. Her eyes see red. But she can hear every last word coming from her mother's mouth crisply. "I think I may be coming for a visit. Do get the guest bedroom ready for me."

And then her mother hung up.

Regina stayed on the phone, the dial tone blaring in her ear like a war siren.

Cora was coming to town.