I do not own Steven Universe, obviously that credit goes to Rebecca Sugar and the Crewniverse

Steven thought he would have the time of his life working on a TV show that's right next to the beach. He envisioned himself playing in the sand, swimming in the sea, or having water gun fights. Instead, he was cooped up in his trailer waiting for the crew to unload all the lighting equipment for the big night scene and finish setting up the storage unit. Steven was told to stay put until they were ready which meant no wandering around the set and "bothering" the PA's. He still hadn't seen any of other kids yet on set and questioned how long it would be until he saw someone his age. At least when he did those fruit punch commercials there were kids he could talk with.

Nobody was around now. Amethyst was rehearsing with Pearl and Garnet. His parents were at work and wouldn't be back until five. Lars and Sadie weren't scheduled to show up today. He already used up all the lives on his freemium games and his parents wouldn't let him use their credit cards to buy more. He watched all his videos on Youtube, he memorized his lines like twenty times. Overall, he was bored.

At least he was until he heard a melody. He sat up once he recognized the familiar strumming of a guitar. Not a recording of one, but an actual guitar. Steven cracked open his trailer door and peeked outside to check if any PA's were around. Once the coast was clear, he slipped out of his trailer and followed his music to the adjacent trailer. The door was left wide open, no doubt to let the breeze in on the warm summer day. Steven stuck his head in the doorway and discovered that it was occupied.

Lounging in a folding chair with their feet resting on a make-up table was a middle-aged, heavy set man with a luscious head of hair. From what Steven could tell, this guy got way too much sun the other day. He wore a wife-beater with blue cargo shorts while playing a little ditty on his acoustic guitar. Really well actually. It had to be original song because Steven would have remembered a song this catchy. He found himself drumming to the beat by tapping the door. It didn't occur to Steven that might give him away until the musician stopped playing. He looked over his shoulder and caught Steven in the doorway looking like a deer in headlights.

"AHHHHH!"
"AHHHHH!"

The guitar player fell backwards in his chair and hit the floor. Once Steven broke free of his paralysis, he rushed inside and checked on the fallen man. "Oh my gosh! Are you okay?"

"Ughhh, it's fine. I've taken way worse falls off of stages."

If that was supposed to reassure Steven, it didn't. At least he didn't look like he was badly hurt. He stretched and cracked his back, groaning as he stretched out his muscles. Steven then remembered the guitar and found it lying on the floor. Steven picked up the instrument and inspected it thoroughly. His heart sank when he saw a scratch at the bottom of it. "Oh no! Your guitar!"

"Oh that? It's always had that." He took the guitar from Steven and wiped a smudge off of it. "So I take it you're the big star of the show?" Steven meekly nodded. He was glad to be the lead but he often got bashful when people brought it up whether it was during interviews or at parties. His parents made sure that he wouldn't let success go to his head. "Call me Greg. Guess I'm gonna be playing your dad in this." Greg reached out and tussled Steven's hair which always got a laugh out of him.

"You're playing Greg? Wow! I wondered what you were going to look like. I just thought you'd look..." Steven stopped himself once he realized there wasn't a polite way to end that sentence.

"Less like a beach bum?"

"Well I was going to say different." This wasn't the rockstar dad Steven envisioned when he read the script but he didn't want to sound disappointed.

"Yeah I'm not a big fan of the wardrobe either but it at least I don't have to spend an hour in make-up. So what brings you over? Come to borrow a cup of sugar from your neighbor?"

"Um no?" Steven answered, completely missing Greg's joke. "I uh just heard you playing is all and I wanted to watch."

"Is that all? Well why didn't you say so? There's no cover charge to see me play, but there's a two drink minimum." Greg propped his chair back up while Steven looked around for anything to drink completely missing the point of Greg's joke again. His trailer was bit messier than Steven's but at least it looked more like a rockstar's room. It made up for the bald cap and the spray-on tan bottle on the table.

"So how long have you been playing?" Steven asked, looking for a place to sit.

"Around high school. I thought it would be a good way to pick up chiiiiiiips," Greg said. For a moment he forgot that he was picking up a kid. "You know, earn some cash and get some chips from the vending machine at school." Steven thought nothing suspicious of this and recalled all the times he found himself alone with a vending machine with nary a quarter in his pocket. It seemed like a convoluted way to get some food. "But then I started playing for the fun of it and even formed my own band."

"You were in a band?!"

"Yeah, we used to play at a couple college parties and open mic nights. I even got my start on TV playing a few commercials in the 90's. There were so many commercials looking for bands to make their brand extreme and radical."

"What kind of songs did you play? Did you ever sell out stadiums? Could you teach me some of your songs?"

"Slow down there, buddy. That there's a pretty long tale. They'll need us on set and I don't want to leave you on any cliffhangers. Besides, I only got the one guitar."

Steven was bummed out to hear that but then his eyes lit up like a lightbulb went off inside his head. "Wait right here!" Steven raced out of the trailer leaving behind a befuddled Greg. He returned promptly with his ukulele, holding it aloft like one of his video game characters. "Tada!"

"Heh, alright so you got yourself an ax. You know how to play it?" Greg questioned, his interest piqued. Steven simply closed his eyes and played a C Major scale, which managed to impress the actor. "Huh, not bad kid. Let's see if we can't make out a rocker out of you just yet." Steven grinned ear to ear and tightened his grip.

"What song are ya gonna teach me? Rock You Like a Hurricane? Bohemian Rhapsody? Pinball Wizard?"

"Ehhhh not quite. I got something even better. Ever hear of "Let Me Drive My Van Into Your Heart"?"

"I've never wanted to hear anything more in my entire life." At that moment, Greg got himself a brand new fan and Steven made his first jam bud.

Of all the things that Garnet had to worry about, rehearsing was not one of them. Especially since she had the least amount of lines among the cast. She held no resentment to the writers or Rebecca since her character was supposed to be silent, stoic type but it was boring waiting to film the next scene. Which is why she agreed to join Pearl and Amethyst's rehearsal over by the boardwalk while Steven and Greg shot their scenes at the storage unit. It helped pass the time and it would give her a chance to get to know her co-stars a bit better. Plus, those two were hysterical when they came together.

"This is bad," Garnet read aloud in a droll monotone.

"Look at the size of it," Pearl acted out dramatically. "I had-" She was cut off by a snort from Amethyst, who was covering her mouth. Pearl shot Amethyst a dirty look and took a deep breath. "Look at the size of it! I-" Amethyst snorted again and Pearl paused her performance. "Bless you. Do you need a tissue?"

"No no, I'm good," Amethyst insisted. Garnet caught a glimpse of her cheshire cat grin and the fit of giggles she was holding back. "Continue."

"Alright. Ahem... look at the size of it! I had no idea these things were so big."

A chortle slipped out of Amethyst earning a scowl from Pearl. "What is so funny?"

"N-nothing!" Amethyst replied, just barely keeping it together.

"Don't worry about her Pearl," said Garnet. "Let's just go again. Maybe put a little emphasis at the end?"

"Oh, good thinking." Pearl cleared her throat. Garnet kept her eyes on Amethyst, who was just barely keeping it together. She trembled like a can of soda someone shook up that was just ready to burst.

"I had no idea these things were so BIG!"

"Or veiny," Garnet added.

Amethyst exploded with laughter after that remark and nearly fell out of her seat. Garnet smirked and wondered how long it would take for Pearl to figure it out. She received answer as her pupils shrank and a look of realization stretched across her face. "Oh! Ugh, grow up Amethyst! This is a family show."

"He-he-he-hey, I didn't say a-a-a-anything." Amethyst giggled.

Garnet kept to herself and waited for Amethyst to settle down, glad that Pearl wasn't taking her anger out on her. What she did wasn't exactly professional but it was funny as hell.

"Ahhh sunset. My favorite time of day," Steven said as he and Amethyst walked away from the Beach Citywalk Fries stand eating from a bag of fry bits. "The sun goes down and the second sun gets bigger and bigger in the sky."

Amethyst laughed at this but instead of saying her lines she gagged and reached for her throat. She pounded her chest and wheezed until she coughed up the clump of chewed up fry bits. Steven groaned in disgust while the director called cut.

"This is why you shouldn't talk with your mouth full," Pearl advised further down the beach.

"Thanks for showing your concern," Amethyst shouted back sarcastically.

TAKE ONE

For the scene, Steven was supposed to jump on top of the van and stomp until the car alarm got set off. Yet no matter how many times he jumped, Steven failed to reach the top.

"Cut! Where's Steven's step stool." the director shouted.

"He said he didn't need it," explained a PA.

"And you believed him?!"

TAKE TWO

Now that he his step stool was placed just out of frame, Steven climbed up on top and hopped on the roof only to slip and fall on his back.

"STEVEN!" Pearl squawked out of frame.

"I'm okay." Steven assured her, giving a thumbs up.

"Oh so when he slips you're worried, but when I nearly choke you don't bat an eye." Amethyst accused.

TAKE THREE

Steven finally triggered the car alarm and heard rustling inside the van. The car doors opened and Greg fell out with the grace of a pig and sweating like one too, his tank top soaked with sweat and his face glistening. "Who's there," Greg panted. "I have...a waffle iron."

"CUT! Someone get Greg some water before he passes out." The director ordered.

"It's...it's a lot hotter...than it looks...in there."

"Wait, is that a magical thing?" Greg asked. "The gems told me not to get not to get involved with magic stuff. It-it could be dangerous. Or interfere with what's left of my-" Greg rubbed his head a little too hard and knocked off his bald cap. He looked down at the ground, then to his exposed full head of hair, and then back at Steven. "Well it can still be dangerous."

"CUT!" called the director.

"No. No. No." Steven kept digging through the junk inside the storage unit until he made a discovery. "Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Is this-" Steven pressed the trigger on the T-shirt cannon before he could finish his line and shot a bundled up shirt. Which just so happened to hit one of the overhanging lights. Steven gasped, "Oh no no no no! Please don't be broken, please don't be broken!"

"Cut! Someone check and make sure he didn't break that," ordered the director.

"And be careful! The little guy's packing heat!" Amethyst teased.

TAKE ONE

"He really had it," Pearl gasped, amazed that Steven found the light cannon.

"We're sa-"

"OW! Amethyst!" The purple girl realized that she had stepped on Pearl's foot when she stepped in front of her.

"Whoops, sorry P."

TAKE TWO

"We're saved!" Amethyst hit her mark but nothing happened. She looked around expecting something to happen. "If the fans work for once," she muttered under her breath.

"What's the hold up?" the director asked.

"The cable's frayed. We gotta switch it out."

TAKE THREE

"He really had it."

"We're-" A gust of wind blew sand into the gems' faces, interrupting them. Amethyst and Pearl did their best to shield their eyes while Garnet's glasses protected her pupils..

"Sorry! Finger slipped."

"Is it too late to get us a pair of glasses too?"Amethyst inquired.

TAKE FOUR

"He really had it."

"We're saved," Amethyst said in a lackluster tone. Her crossed arms made it clear she wasn't taking this scene seriously. Not that it mattered considering that the fans didn't start again.

"Ugh, cut!" called the director. "Someone get that fan working!"

"Amethyst try to take this seriously." Pearl scolded, equally irritated.

"Seriously huh? Alright, if you say so Pearl."

TAKE FIVE

"He really had it."

"We're SAVED!" Amethyst proclaimed, startling Pearl when she stepped forward and posed dramatically. Finally, the fan started blowing before anyone could call her out. They three reacted as if they were being pulled towards the Red Eye and remained in position even with sand blowing in their faces and wind whipping their hair back.

"CUT! Finally, we got a usable take. Let's move on to the scene. Get that cannon into place." The crew turned off the fans allowing the actresses to wipe any sand off their faces. Amethyst had to spit some out of her mouth and Garnet wiped the smudges off her glasses.

"So, how was that?" Amethyst asked, looking to Pearl who was wiping her eyes. She glared back at her shorter colleague aware of what kind of reaction she expected.

"Better, but you nearly smacked my face." Pearl glared.

"So what you're saying is I'm improving," Amethyst grinned.

Pearl gazed into the phone recording her with a solemn expression."Hello gemheads. I- really gemheads?" She asked someone offscreen.

"Yeah, yeah, keep going!"

Pearl cleared her throat and continued. "On behalf of Amethyst, I would like to read a statement. It is with a heavy heart, that I must announce Amethyst's retirement. She will no longer be a part of the show. Rest assured we have found a suitable replacement."

The camera panned to the right revealing Amethyst nobly holding a stuffed replica of herself frozen in a Superman pose that Garnet used to toss at the Red Eye. "I know this is rather sudden but I assure you Dummy-thyst is a worthy successor. I trained her myself."

"This will be a tough process for all of us but in some aspects Dummy-thyst will be a massive improvement," Pearl continued. "She doesn't require make-up, she's a great listener, she won't go off-script-"

"That's true."

"-she's polite, patient, she won't raid the craft table the first chance she gets-"

"Well no one is saying that's a problem-"

"-she actually washes her hands, she's punctual, she'll work for cheap, she doesn't need binders, she has thicker skin-"

"OKAY THANKS FOR WATCHING! GIVE ME MY PHONE!"

Pearl held the camera up out of reach with a smug smirk. "Case in point, thicker skin. Bye!"

Thanks to everyone who read and liked the first chapter. I'm still trying to get the hang of how I want to format this alternating between bloopers and behind the scene moments. With all the insanity going I should have more time to work on this but I won't make any promises. As always, I'd appreciate it if you leave reviews and comments on what you liked, didn't like, and what you'd like to see in upcoming chapters. Take care and stay safe.