Thank you for the reviews and your support.

The fourth rewrite... of probably many at this rate...

Everyone on Twitter knows that this episode was torture for me. So much so that I didn't even rewatch the whole episode. I literally watched until Adam comes into the wedding hall and stopped. But this is all in aid of making everything better. So I hope you like this and have enjoyed all the little changes that I have made over the last 31 chapters.

The next story will be Count On Me. One that I know a lot of people are excited about. I'll let you know on Twitter when I am thinking of uploading the first chapter.

Series 5 Episode 20

"So, you agree with Adam? You think I let my work rule my life?"

Rachel knew that Philip was going to say yes but there was a look on his face that showed that he was a little bit more understanding than Adam.

"I know why you do it, Rach. And… maybe I do know why you don't trust Mr Mead as much as you should do. I get it."

"Then do you understand why I am doing this?"

"Yes."

She believed him and she knew that if she had no one else, she would always have Philip. Someone that knew her when others didn't.

"I am in two minds. I don't know whether I want him to turn up or not."

"Who?"

She swallowed. "Adam. Does…" She started before trailing off, knowing that Philip already knew the question.

"No. Not yet."

"Are you?"

"Was planning on."

"Good."

"Rach… if you are having second thoughts, you don't have to go through with it."

She thought about it for a moment before she turned back to Philip.

"No. I said I would marry him. That is what I am going to do."

"Right. I'm going to take that though." He said as his hand dived for her phone. "You can get it back at the end of the day."

Rachel found herself laughing but her smile dropped as soon as Philip had left the room.

Was she doing the right thing?

Rachel had almost given up hope until the doors came crashing open and Adam ran into the room. There he was. The man that was going to be her husband. The man that she could find herself loving. She felt like she was halfway there. The only thing she had to do was let a certain someone go. Not that she was ready to let him go yet.

But she would.

One day.

Just not any time soon.

"Are you ready?" She asked him.

"Yeah."

They turned back to the official and Rachel gave her a smile. Everything was sort of okay, just she didn't expect another person to come crashing through the door. She turned to Philip who shrugged at her. Did he think this is what she wanted?

"Who the hell is he?" Adam asked.

It meant that she wasn't daydreaming. That he was actually there. She dropped her grip from Adam's arm and walked towards Eddie. He met her halfway and she had no idea what the first thing she should say to him. It had been a year since she last saw him.

"Charles James Lawson," Eddie said in a low voice.

"Another nephew?" She said, matching his tone.

"One that is missing out on his auntie."

"That doesn't explain why you are here."

"No, it doesn't."

"Then why are you here?"

"To make sure that this is your choice."

"Of course it is."

"I don't believe you."

"Why? Because it isn't you?"

"No, because this isn't you."

"Eddie."

"Just… Tell me."

"Tell you what?"

"Tell me… Tell me that we are over. For good. That we can never have a second go of it. Tell me that I was the biggest idiot ever and that Adam can give you everything you have ever wanted and more. Tell me that he will look after you. Tell me he understands you. Tell me that he understands you better than I ever would. Tell me." His voice dropped to a whisper. "Tell me that you don't love me. Tell me that you love him more than you have ever loved me."

She could feel the tears coming. She should be able to tell him all that. She wanted to be selfless and honest but those two things ended at two different outcomes. She knew that he already knew her answer. He already knew the conflict in her.

"I think you already know I can't." She whispered back.

"Then don't marry him."

"Rachel? Who the hell is he?" Adam said.

She hadn't realised how close she had got to Eddie. There was no way that she could deny the way that she was still drawn to Eddie or how the time or separation had made no difference to how she felt about him.

"Rachel!"

She turned to Adam, knowing that she would have to explain. She just didn't want to.

"He's Eddie Lawson. My deputy before Chris and… my… my ex-boyfriend."

"Him? He's the one that got your sister pregnant."

"Steph." Rachel breathed.

"Well, I am glad someone caught me up with everything. Seems like you weren't going to tell me."

"Because I knew you would react like this."

"So why is he here? Today of all days?"

"I don't know."

"Did you have something to do with this?" Adam said as he turned to Philip.

"All I'm going to say is… two truanting kids."

"Not that again. You are just as bad as her."

"Two truanting kids?" Eddie whispered.

"Maybe later." She whispered back. "Anyway, where were you? Why were you late?"

"Blaming me again?"

"I just wondered why you were late. Because I don't know about you Adam, but I was always going to be here today, whether there were two truanting kids or not. I was always going to be standing there, waiting to become Mrs Rachel Fleet. You wanted this. You wanted me to be your wife. At the moment, I am wondering whether I wanted more than you did."

"You are being ridiculous."

"Am I now?"

"Yes. It isn't my ex that has turned up at my wedding."

"And it wasn't going to be me who was going to miss out on our wedding."

Silence fell and Rachel wondered whether this was how it was going to be for them. Always arguing about something. Would it end up in her making the ultimate sacrifice for him? Would she give up Waterloo Road just to keep the peace between them?

"Rach, I know now isn't a good time," Philip said as he moved from his place next to Ros over to her. "But it is Campbell. She has called a couple of times."

She almost snatched her phone out of his hand and pressed the button to answer the call.

"Kim?"

"Rachel. I hope I am not interrupting."

"Not at all."

"Just we have confirmation. Chris didn't want to tell you anything because he was going to deal with it but I think it is only fair that you know. You had every right to be worried. Finn had almost talked Amy into committing suicide with him. They were going to drown themselves on the beach. I'm going to go and see what help I can get for Finn. All of his so-called attention-seeking seems like a shout for help now."

Rachel sighed. "Thanks for letting me know."

She hung up and handed Philip back her phone. She closed her eyes as she thought how the day might have gone if she hadn't been the one to raise her concerns.

"Were they found? Fumbling about on the beach?" Adam said.

"You know what? Explaining it to you isn't worth it. Because you don't understand. You… You act like you care but I don't know whether you actually do. And I should have seen it earlier but… I left Chris to deal with it because I thought that it might help him get out any past grievances."

"Seen what?"

"That we had a serious lonely and depressed kid who was screaming out for help. He wanted to commit suicide with Amy. He wanted them both to drown together. Everything felt wrong about it but… all you seemed to care about was this wedding that you almost didn't bother showing up for." She paused. "Come on then Adam, what was more important than our wedding day? Why did you even bother coming?"

"Ruby showed me the cake."

"I'm sorry."

"Ruby showed me the cake. Your ninth attempt. Rachel, I thought you didn't want this. I thought that your precious school was all you cared about. I mean, you told me this morning that you couldn't even be bothered to book the hotel. We only have your nephew and his… whatever as guests. You wanted no fuss and this is what we got. We aren't having a reception. I love you, Rachel. I wanted everyone to know that."

"I said you could invite your family but you didn't. You could have invited your brother to be your best man but you didn't. Maybe sometimes my priorities aren't the same as yours but… as I've said, with or without Philip, I would have been standing here. You are telling me that you are here because of a cake."

"It's not like that."

"Tell me again."

"Tell you what?"

"Tell me that you love me."

"Rachel…"

"Just do it, Adam."

"I love you, Rachel."

She swallowed as she turned to Eddie. He didn't need any prompting.

"I love you, Rachel," Eddie said.

Her mind cast her back to the last time he had said that and the fact that those four words coming from Eddie meant more to her than they did coming from Adam told her everything she needed to know. The fact that Eddie's declaration felt more genuine than Adam's told her everything.

She was only doing this to keep Adam happy. But it wasn't. She was never going to do enough to keep him happy.

"I can't do this." She said.

"Can't do what?" Adam said, jumping on the defensive.

"I can't marry you."

"It's him! I mean, why has he turned up on today of all days?"

"I told Philip to call him," Ros said. "He told me that he thought that Miss… Rachel was having second thoughts and he wondered whether she was making a mistake. I told him that if he felt that way that he should do something about it. I know I haven't been overly involved in this whole wedding but the parts that I have been… it is like you want Rachel to be grateful for everything that you have given up for you. I don't know the full story about what happened when them and Melissa but all I do know is that Eddie loves her. Just because of the way he speaks to Charlie about her.

"Actually, Philip thinks that you are a bully. He thinks that after everything she has been through, she doesn't need to be married to someone who will end up breaking her heart all over again. He wants her to be with someone who loves her and will care for her. Someone who knows that she will worry over two truanting kids whether they were found 'fumbling about' on a beach or planning to commit suicide together. Someone that knows that she doesn't switch off. That she is always going to blame herself if something goes wrong. Someone who knows that she thinks that she can do everything and knows when she needs reminding that she can't. Someone that knows she is a brilliant headteacher and will never try and take that away from her."

Rachel didn't know why she looked up at Eddie but she knew exactly who Ros was talking about. The description wasn't Adam but Eddie. She obviously had no idea what he had said to his son but she could see him talking that passionately about her.

Her friend. Her confidant. Her deputy.

Her Eddie.

"Sorry to interrupt. Can we guess that this isn't happening? Just we have another wedding that is meant to start in a couple of minutes. So we need the room." The official said.

"No. It isn't happening." Rachel said before Adam could say anything. "We are so sorry for wasting your time."

She turned on her heel, knowing that Eddie, Philip and Ros would all follow her out.

"You two could still make the prom." Rachel said as she leant against the counter.

"We could. But… I would rather be here with you. You know, just in case he turns up." Philip said.

"Philip, honestly, I will be fine. And no, that would be an awful idea."

"Why not?"

"Because I would never hear the end of it from Kim. All year, she has bugged me about calling Eddie. The only time she stopped was when she realised that it was more serious between me and Adam than she first expected."

Ros smiled at them as she left to answer the door after the bell rang, leaving the auntie and nephew to talk.

"Earlier, did you mean Adam?"

"I don't know who I wanted to show up. Neither of them would have been better than both of them."

"Ros is right about Eddie."

"I don't doubt that."

"And even though I know there is no chance that him and Mum are going to get back together, I would prefer him as my uncle rather than my sort-of-step-dad."

"I would too." She whispered.

Rachel could only smile as Eddie finally joined them, with Charlie tucked into the crook of his neck. It made her realise everything that she had missed out with Philip and how much of Charlie's life she had already missed. But it also reminded her of what she wanted and how it made things complicated.

"Hey mate. No need to be shy. This is Auntie Rachel."

Charlie looked up at his father before going back to how he was.

"He is adorable." Rachel said.

"He would probably be more keen if Melissa didn't want to argue. I try not to argue around him but… well, you know what she is like."

"Does she know you are here?"

"What do you think we argued about?"

"She might come around to the idea."

"Rach… you are too kind sometimes."

"I'll second that," Philip said. "Well, you are. Do I only have to remind you that you were fully prepared to give Tyler Waterloo Road?"

"What?"

"Haydock stopped her."

"Maybe we should go back to the reason that he actually got banned from teaching." Rachel said.

"No, because that will take the focus off you. Honestly Rach… home is like… we are all waiting for a bomb to go off. Whether Mum is going to leave again or we are going to fall out with her, we don't know. There have been a few occasions where I have almost asked you whether I can move back here."

"You know that you are always welcomed here, Philip."

"Or maybe… we can just have that talk we should have had a year ago." Eddie said.

"Yeah. So you two should get to Prom."

"It wouldn't be the same without you, Rach. You know that." Philip said.

"You don't need me there."

"When our year looks up to you more than any other year. I think you have forgotten how much you have been through together."

"He does have a point," Eddie said. "Why don't we go?"

"Because Miss Campbell has been trying to get her to call you all year," Ros said.

"Right, all of you. Out of my house. I didn't ask you all round to be insulted."

"Come on Mason. She might be glad to find out that you didn't marry Adam."

Rachel sighed as she looked between them all.

"Right, I'll get changed again. And Lawson, you are not going like that. Thankfully you left one of your shirts here."

She didn't miss Philip's smile and she knew that she would have to thank them both later for what they did for her.

"Go on then."

"What?" Kim said.

"Go on. Say it."

"Do you want your cuddle with Dex now?"

Rachel turned to her friend. "Not that."

"The 'I told you so' regarding Eddie."

"Yes. That."

"I think he is swapping notes with Chris at the moment."

"Kim."

"No… I am glad that you are back with him. Ruby told me earlier that she hoped that Adam would get there in time and when she told me what he was doing… I was just angry at him. For him to compare throwing spoons into a bowl to the worry you had for Finn and Amy, and you were right to be, just was insane."

"I don't think he understood this place and what it means to me."

"Do you think…"

"Most definitely. I can't give this place up Kim. Not that I know how much more I can do."

"Maintain the progress?"

"Soon it would be time for new blood. I think I have another year in me."

"If you don't try and get yourself killed again."

"Maybe not with Eddie by my side, not in all aspects, but… I do want to try it again. Just… you should have heard him earlier Kim. Just… the way he asked me to tell him a bunch of things that I knew I couldn't tell him was true. Then he just came out with it. 'Then don't marry him'. You did call in the middle of it."

"You said it was fine."

"It was one of the last nails in the coffin. Both Finn and Amy will need our support. Maybe… we need to look into why Amy attaches herself to people in the way that she does."

"Maybe. And maybe, for one night, you can stop thinking about the school."

"You know I can't."

"No, but it was worth a shot."

Rachel only shook her head as she watched Eddie and Chris talk.

"No." She said.

"You could."

"It wouldn't be fair on Chris."

"He could just come back as a maths teacher."

"You know he couldn't Kim. If Eddie was to rejoin the teaching staff, he would have to be my deputy again and that wouldn't be fair on Chris, even if they were both my deputies. Plus, we have to get the okay from Melissa yet."

"So she knows?"

"Her and Eddie had an argument about it when he 'had' to go and pick up Charlie."

"Things will sort themselves out."

"If it is meant to be and all that."

"I haven't heard you speak this positivity in a while."

"I didn't have a reason to." Rachel sighed as Eddie started to walk over to them. "Well here comes trouble."

She turned to Kim and Rachel knew that she hadn't seen her this happy for a while. Everything over the last year was always going to be worse than they were because Eddie wasn't there. He was the source of her happiness and she knew that she should have given their relationship more of a chance. Maybe they would have found a way.

She would forever be grateful for him crashing her wedding.