Hey y'all!

It seems like I'm only posting every 2 1/2 years these days, but season 15 has awakened the writer in me, and this is also probably my way of holding onto the show and dragging this for as long as I can as I'm not sure I'll be able to write again after the final episode...

Anyway, as much as I LOVED episode 15x09 and as relieved as I was that things went pretty well considering the circumstances (aka nobody got trapped in Purgatory, or worse) there are some areas that I wanted to explore more. Dean's prayer went beyond my expectations, but I was really dying to know how Castiel reacted to the whole thing, so that first chapter is mainly Castiel-centric, as close as possible to canon, while they are in Purgatory.

And because I'm getting carried away with this, the second chapter will be longer and will hopefully fill some of the "holes" in the episode (like the fact our dear angel almost ended up with the Mark) and how Dean and Cas are processing their reconciliation.

Hope you like it :)

Chapter 1: Purgatory

Their trip to Purgatory was going as well as they could have imagined. The Leviathans were still desperate to kill Castiel, and he had gotten separated from Dean. The monsters had left the hunter behind when they had captured the angel, in a rush to get him to Eve, but there was no guarantee that there weren't more monsters hiding, just waiting to attack the Winchester while he was on the ground. Castiel had managed to free himself from the Leviathans once they were far enough from Dean, seeing an opportunity in a clearing full of the blossoms they had been looking for, and just before they made it to Eve. The fight had been difficult as his power were failing and he had been outnumbered, but he had managed to kill two of the monsters and escaped from the rest, and after an hour or so, it looked like he had finally managed to lose them. He was hurt, and too weak to heal himself right away, but he had the blossom and he could make it back to the rift. He just had to find Dean first.

"Cas." Castiel had been walking for what felt like hours when he heard it, and stopped so abruptly that he almost fell.

"Cas, I hope you can hear me. That wherever you are, it's not too late."

The angel leaned against a tree for support as he realized that he was shaking. Dean was alive and he was praying for the first time in months. He had sometimes felt the hunter's longing as if he had been about to pray to him, but it had been a while since he had heard that voice so clearly, and with no hint of anger. He felt a wave a relief wash over him.

"I should have stopped you."

His legs felt weak. Hearing the words he had been hoping for made his heart beat so much faster.

"You're my best friend but I just let you go… 'cause that was easier than admitting I was wrong."

With his grace failing, everything had felt kind of muffled ever since Jack had died. Right now though, the hunter's prayer was so intense that Castiel felt like each word was radiating throughout his whole body.

"I don't know why I get so angry. I just, I know that it's-it's just always been there. And when things go bad, it just... it comes out. And I-I can't stop it. No matter how… how bad I want to, I just can't stop it. And I forgive you, of course I forgive you."

Castiel closed his eyes for a second, feeling heat behind his eyelids. He took a deep breath and let a tear escape. He had wanted to hear those words for months, but hadn't realized how desperately he had needed the hunter's forgiveness until now.

"I'm sorry it took me so long to. I'm sorry it took me til now to say it. Cas, I'm so sorry."

He could hear the emotions and a vulnerability that Dean would only rarely show, and the tone of this voice was so heartbreaking so Castiel felt his throat closing and almost missed the actual apology. He couldn't help but shudder when his friend finished his prayer. He tried his best to ignore the pain he could feel radiating from his Dean words. What if he was hurt and had lost hope because Castiel couldn't find him?

"Man, I hope you can hear me. I hope you can hear me."

Dean's voice sounded unusually weaker and desperate and made Castiel want to yell, to call the hunter, but feared it would only give out his location to the Leviathans.

He didn't have the countdown on his phone like Dean had, but the angel knew that they had been here for a long time and the rift would be closing soon. Most likely in less than an hour. He used to have a better grasp on time, and thinking about yet another consequence of his failing grace made him wince.

Finally, he spotted the rift in the distance, its orange glow contrasting with the dull colors of Purgatory. He tried to stay calm but he could feel the panic rise when he realized that Dean was nowhere to be seen. Once again, he was faced with an impossible choice. He couldn't even imagine going through back to their world without the hunter; but on the other hand, he had the blossom and a chance to do the spell and to save Sam. To save their world. He couldn't throw that all away just because he had lost Dean, he knew the hunter wouldn't forgive if he did.

He figured the best way to find his friend and possibly go back to the bunker on time was to wait for him. If he searched through Purgatory, they could be running in circles for days before finding one another and the Leviathans would probably find him first.

Castiel slid down against a tree, feeling slightly dizzy from his wounds that were healing way too slowly, and waited. Without even realizing what he started praying, even though the hunter could not hear him.

"Dean, I hope you're okay. I heard your prayer and it sounded like you were saying goodbye." He took a deep breath, feeling a lump in his throat. "Please don't make me leave this place without you."

After what felt like days, but had probably just been a few minutes, he heard heavy steps and panting. His whole body tensed up, until he realized that the noise definitely sounded human. He was so relieved when he recognized his friend that he let out a sob.

- "Dean." He called out as his friend was walking past him. The hunter immediately pointed his gun at him, for a split second, before he recognized the angel.

- "Cas?" He replied, staring with disbelief at his friend who had to hold himself against the tree to stand up.

- "You made it!" Castiel replied, feeling some of the tension leaving his body as relief washed over him, and finally realizing how exhausted he was from the fight with the Leviathans.

- "I made it?" Asked Dean, surprised. After all, he hadn't been the ones taken away by Leviathans and currently bleeding.

Castiel walked towards the hunter and let himself fall into his embrace when he realized Dean's arms where reaching out to hug him. He instantly hugged back. They both let out deep sighs, happy to be reunited and finding comfort in each other's touch after weeks of fighting.

They reluctanctly let go to rapidly catch up on everything that happened while they got separated. Castiel's heart had been beaming since he had heard the hunter's prayer, but it almost exploded when he showed the blossom to his friend and saw his eyes gleaming with pride. After years of repeatedly screwing up, it felt good to do something right, something that could give them a shot at winning, the angel thought.

- "Well they're still after me. We should hurry." He said, trying to sound as casual as possible. Reuniting with his best friend had definitely been the highlight of these past few months, but the last thing they needed was to get stuck in Purgatory.

- "Okay Cas, I need to say something." Started Dean, taking a deep breath, before they both could move.

- "You don't have to say it." Assured Cas. "I heard your prayer." He finished in a soft tone. He knew how difficult it was for the hunter to open up and didn't need to hear his apology in person. The prayer had been more than he could have expected, and he was just grateful that his friend had been honest, and still cared about him after everything they had been through. He gave him a reassuring smile.

It was subtle, but Dean looked slightly disappointed. Almost as if he wasn't about to repeat his apology, but say something else.

They started walked towards the rift while Dean checked his phone and announced: "Just about a minute left, let's not waste any time here."

Castiel stopped, just in front of the rift and turned to look around, making sure once last time that they weren't being followed.

"Let's go. Together." The hunter said, voice firm, holding out a slightly trembling hand that the angel immediately grabbed, lacing their fingers together with a shy smile. Dean squeezed his hand with a strong grip and the angel could see a hint of fear in his friend's eyes. There was no doubt he was reminiscing of the last time they had tried to leave purgatory together but this time, Castiel had no intention of letting go. He squeezed back as they walked through the portal and made it back to the bunker just in time.

The let go of each other's hand as soon as they were on the other side of the rift, exchanging shy smiles while watching it slowly close down behind them. They had barely made it.