I am still working on chapter 7 of The Human Among Us...so don't worry, but to be truful, I've been on a fanfiction high... and this is going to be like very crazy but bare with me...this is a one shot... So I read a Deadpool/Twilight Crossover and it was... so funny and just amazing...so I wanted to try my hand at one.

The name was Stealing Twilight's Swan by Dr Harleen Frances Quinzel

Now I've never seen Deadpool until today (late I know), but I've got to say, he was one funny bastard. So this takes place before the second one and I changed a detail in how the first one ended. I love Vanessa, but in this case we can say she died at the end of the first film.

Summary: Bella stumbles upon a man in a red and white spandex and finds her world turned upside down.

Bella walked out of the booming club, sighing as the fresh air hit her instantly. She could finally breathe without the stench of alcohol in the air, or the sweaty bodies that rubbed against her every so often. It was her 21st birthday and Jessica just had to drag her to Port Angeles for the night. As much fun as she was having, she couldn't keep up with her high school friend and her alcohol intake. She'd rather much be home with a book, or cooking some new dish.

She leaned against the brick wall, taking in a deep breath, her slight headache easing just a bit. She's only had a beer and that was fine with her, she didn't think she could take anything more, and she wasn't going to risk it. She closed her eyes a bit, her mind a calming river as she reflected on the past years events. After Edward left, Bella realized that she couldn't wallow in a self-pity party, and had to move on, Edward apparently did.

A few months after she turned 19, Bella received a wedding invitation. At first she thought it was some dumb joke, until she saw the neat, elegant writing that only belonged to a being with a steady hand. Edward Anthony Masen Cullen and Gertrude Rome Levine. Bella could only laugh as she saw the wedding photo. The girl was almost a spitting image of her, but she seemed much more plain if that was possible.

While Bella wasn't one to judge, the Cullen's had a lot of nerve. She ripped it up and moved on snorting at the young girl's name. What kind of fucking name is Gertrude? Another year passed before her life went up a rollercoaster. Charlie had his first stroke ever, scaring Bella to her core. Neither of them understood it, but Charlie became more cautious and even retired early chalking it up to the stress of the job. His convincing words were the only thing that gave Bella courage to move out and try to live a somewhat normal life. That was until the Cullen's showed up, claiming to check to make sure she never spilled the beans so to speak. Edward even brought along his new bride, who Bella found out was 16, and Edward had no qualms changing her.

She immediately kicked them out of her small apartment stating she never wanted to hear from them again. They obliged without much fight, but Bella couldn't shake the stare from Edward out of her mind. She graduated on time of course, and planned on going to school for business and culinary school. She wanted to open her own restaurant one day.

"Damn baby, what you doing out here?" Bella heard a few footsteps, echoing off the walls, and she could easily make out a group of men coming her way. She rolled her eyes and reached for the door handle, pulling it open, or tried to. Only the door would lock behind her, and the men making their way to her were blocking the entrance. "Fuck off." She snapped, pushing off the wall and heading down the little alley. She knew there was this little cut off that led back to the street.

Their footsteps didn't falter in their speed, but their voices became a bit louder and urgent. "Where you going?" One of them called as she turned the corner. She let out a slight grunt as she bumped into a body. "Shit sorry." She mumbled, taking a step back. Her eyes widened a bit as she came face to face with a man in a mask and full on spandex getup. "Um..." She stated, looking him up and down. He took a step backwards himself, none too discretely looking her over. "Well damn. I'm touching myself tonight." Bella's mouth dropped open for a moment, before a snort left her mouth. "I'm sorry what?" She asked, forgetting all about the men that were following her.

The masked man tilted his head about whistling. "Sorry, not sorry, but you're like hot as fuck. I mean we can head back to my place and do some things... I'll even put it in your ass if you..." Bella clamped a hand over his mouth, a laugh escaping her lips. "I shouldn't find this funny. But no offense, I don't know you. For all I know you kill people...dressed up like that..." She trailed off, instantly freezing as one of the men's voices washed over her. "There she is. You still up for your offer baby? Weirdo right there can watch." A few chuckles echoed off the walls, and Bella rolled her eyes.

Bella turned around looking over the eight men with distaste. "I wouldn't fuck any of you if you were the last men on earth." Silence surrounded them for a total of five seconds before a voice spoke up in a mocking tone. "Oooo, she wouldn't fuck you if you were the last men on earth. What about me?" Bella imagined him wiggling his eyebrows at her as he came to stand next to her. Bella hid a smile as shook her head. "Sure?" She asked, her brown eyes sparkling with humor. What was wrong with her? Maybe it was the beer. Somehow she doubted that. Screeching tires turned Bella's attention to the entrance of the back alley where a shiny black car sat. "Yours?" She asked, nudging the masked man. He gave a shake of his head, gazing the men in front of them.

The windows rolled down, and Bella's eyes widened even more as she saw the shiny barrel. Before she could scream, an arm wrapped around her waist, lifting her off the ground. "Up we go." He stated before running up the brick wall, flipping backwards into the air. Bella screamed making his ears ring. 'She's definitely a screamer' he thought as he landed on top of the opposite building. Bella moved away from the edge, peering down. She glanced at him wide eyed. "Who the fuck are you?" She asked, pushing away from him. "And how did you do that?!" She asked, pointing down below as there was a shootout now going on. Deadpool looked on ignoring her. "Damn..Deadpool didn't get to kill tonight..." He stated sadly, bowing his head. Bella waved her hands in front of his face. "Hello?! Who?" She asked. He still ignored her, sighing.

The firing finally ceased as the black car sped off. Blood stained the cement below and Bella just glanced at him. "If you don't answer me, I will..." Bella trailed off, looking down again, her stomach flipping at the height. "Jump." She stated. The man laughed at her, and waved his hand about. "Jump. I don't care." He stated, looking at her. Bella looked down again, stepping back. "Fine." Bella stated, stepping off the edge.

As she fell, in what she felt like was slow motion, she could only think how stupid she was and how she'd probably be the only person to die out of sheer annoyance and defiance. Deadpool craned his neck standing. "Always the pretty one's." He mumbled shaking his head, dropping to the ground, his arms coming out to catch her just in time. The part about being a mutant is that gravity really worked with them, he was heavier than most humans...well this one at least. She landed with a grunt, her arms falling into place around his neck so perfectly. "I feel like Superman... if I was in the air." He stated, looking at her once more.

Bella's eyes were wide, and her hair windswept. "You...you caught me." She stated shocked. Deadpool placed her down on her feet, but his hands didn't leave though as he placed them on her waist. "Squishy." He mumbled, squeezing her waist. Bella jumped slightly at the feeling. "You said you didn't care..." She trailed off. Deadpool shrugged. "Yes, I didn't. But I also never said I wouldn't catch you. Do you want some tacos? Or some Chimichanga's?" He asked, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. Bella just blinked, letting him steer her along. They stopped as Deadpool pointed to the bodies of the men. "Never underestimate the stupidity of idiots." He stated, pulling her along. His hand trailed down to her ass, giving it a good squeeze. "I'm Pool, Deadpool." He stated as they walked down the street. "Bella..." She stated softly, still in a daze.

Deadpool laughed at her expression. "You know...if we end up getting our freak on tonight, I'm keeping you..." As they walked down the street, Deadpool squeezed her ass again mumbling a "Squish, squish..."

AN: well...

Deadpool: Well? All you can say is well?

HOMS: I mean what else am I supposed to say?

Deadpool: (sigh) I don't know... how about if I got some pussy or...something... don't just say "well".

HOMS: But that's all there is.. there's nothing to say!

Deadpool: Whatever. Will I be seeing her again because she's a cool chick.. besides the jumping thing...no I liked that too...but I didn't get to kill anybody! Will I get to kill anybody?

HOMS: Ask the readers...it's not up to me.

Deadpool: You all better say yes or she get's it!