Prologue

"What even is this quest? Did you really have to wake us up this early?" Aqua lazily grumbled, rubbing her eyes.

"Aqua is right, Kazuma is not normally the one to drag us into quests. You usually laze around in the mansion. Are you really Kazuma? I am kinda happy that we are going on a quest, but it is unusual for you." Megumin said.

"Is me going on a quest really that unnatural? You know, I also have an adventurous spirit!"

I told them, pumping my fists into the air

"I don't believe it. Something is up about him, Aqua, try exorcising him."

"I don't feel anything possessing him, what can it be? Can it be something even I can't feel?!"

Is that what they really think about me? Is it really that unnatural that the 'Goddess' who is always cocky could doubt her abilities?

"Luna-san told him he had to do quests or they will not give him protection from taxes that other adventurers have, since he isn't really adventuring. It would just be better to collect taxes from him! He doesn't work, so taking his money would be beneficial!"

Darkness revealed the true reasons behind me taking on this quest

"Guess that makes sense." Aqua said as she yawned

"Sounds like something Kazuma would do."

"What does that mean?" I asked Megumin.

"And anyway, don't you do the same amount of quests as me? So if they make me pay taxes, you will have to pay too."

Aqua jolted awake as I said that, but the other two were unfazed. I looked at them questioningly.

"They only collect money with people higher than 10.000 Eris in earnings, I send most of my money to my parents, so they wouldn't take taxes from me even if I wasn't an adventurer."

"My family already donates a lot of money, so we are exempt from taxes, and if we weren't, I would gladly give the money."

These two are master tax evaders, huh?

"Let's be quick Kazuma! We have to stop those nefarious monsters from capturing the Princess of Hyrule!" Aqua started running forward.

"Hey wait! Do you even know what the quest is?!"

"What is it? We must be quick!" She normally wasn't this enthusiastic, it seems like she will do anything when it comes to money.

"We have to investigate a mountain, several kids have went missing there. We just have to get in, investigate and get out. Nothing else."

"Ah, so you picked an easy quest on purpose. So he isn't completely possessed. Also, didn't I tell you to not pick indoor quests? I feel useless in them." Megumin said while looking at me with a mix of disgust and relief

That is because you are useless, though.

"First of al-"

"I tried to make him pick a harder quest, but he refused."

I am not even gonna argue

"We aren't going to kill a Blue Eyes White Dragon!"

"Why not? It wouldn't stand a chance against my Explosion!"

"Yes it would! It would kill all of us before you said one syllable!"

Part 2

We were walking down a forest, suspiciously, it was very peaceful, birds were chirping, flowers were blooming...

"Kazumaaaaa… When are we reaching there? We have been walking for hours."

"Hey Kazuma, Can I use Explosion? I haven't used it today, so can I use it on that mountain? Please?"

"Kazuma! Do you think there will be monsters there? Big, strong monsters who will have their way with me after they capture me?"

…..And idiots were being annoying

"No, no, and no. I will tell you when we reach the-did you say mountain?"

I looked around, and sure thing, there was a mountain in the middle of the forest, I think this is , our destination

"That is what we are looking for"

"I feel an ominous aura from there, Kazuma, is this really safe?"

Shit….me too, should we really do this quest?

"Don't worry Kazuma! I will protect you from all the big, male, orcs in there! Mhhm"

That just makes me worry more

"Let's just blow up the mountain and leave, it seems like a magnificent subject for my ultimate magic!"

"No, we are not doing that, we are just gonna go in, and if anything bad happens, we are bolting away."

"Can I use explosion then?"

"No- Do you know what? Yes."

"Ha-ha-ha! Then I shall show you my true power!"

I don't want to see it.

We examined the mountain, it looked pretty normal for a mountain, if we ignore the "ominous aura" thing. There was a cave entrance visible at the base of the mountain, the entrance was pretty big and looked….unnatural, like it was man-made, I hope it is not monster-made.

I activated my [Enemy Detection] skill, there didn't seem to be anything in there, but I still readied myself to be careful.

"Let's go in there." I pointed at the entrance.

"Kazuma...Are you sure about this? Maybe we should go back and pick an easier quest. I am getting cold feet about this"

"We have to do the quest by tomorrow, we can't lose much time."

For some reason, I am [Determined] to do this quest.

"That is really weird for Kazuma, he would be one to run away first"

"Shut it meatbag, go in first."

"Mhmh" She moaned while going in.

I ignored the weird sound she made and went in behind her, the others followed us.

The narrow entrance led to a cavern

I examined the opening, it was molded and overgrown with vines and moss. There was a large hole in the middle. That is pretty suspicious

"This doesn't seem so bad." Aqua said as she examined the cave.

"Will you ever stop triggering flags?! Are you sure you are not the Goddess of Flag triggering?"

"Really, nothing bad is gonna happen!"

Really, something bad is go-

"Waaaaaa" Aqua screamed as she tripped on a vine and started flailing around dangerously close to the hole

"I told you!" I ran up to her and grabbed her by the arm, but since she didn't stop flailing around, I lost my balance too and we both fell into the hole.

"Don't worry Kazuma!I am gonna catch you" said Darkness

She jumped in and grabbed me by the hand and used her sword to stab the cliff and stop our fall

She missed.

"HOW CAN YOU MISS A WALL?! ARE YOU THAT USELESS?!"

"Darkness, grab onto this"

Darkness grabbed the staff extended by Megumin and stopped us from falling

"Thanks Megumin!"

"Now pull yourself up"

We are saved!

"I have never been that grateful to you, Megumin!"

"Than-wait, say that again."

"What about me?"

"Said the person who missed a wall."

"Mhmh"

"WAAAAAA-I AM GONNA SLIP, MY ARM IS SLIPPING OUT OF YOUR HAND, KAZUMAAAAaAaAaAaA"

"STOP MOVING AROUND, YOU WILL MAKE DARKNESS LOSE GRIP, DO YOU WANT TO DIE?"

"Don't worry, I may have poor accuracy, but I am confident in my strength. Also, carrying two people over a hole that leads to certain doom feels really good!"

"Darkness...you may have the strength to hold onto my staff, but I you are too heavy, so lift yourself up fast"

Shit

"I am not heavy! My armor is!"

"It is not time to act like a maiden! Just climb up!" I told the Noble Lady who finally broke character.

Darkness finally listened and started pulling herself, and by extension, me and Aqua up.

"AAAAA KAZUMA, MY ARM IS SLIPPING. FASTER! FASTER!" Aqua once again started flailing

Should I drop her?

"Aqua, don't flail, I am gonna fall in too!" Megumin said just before joining us on the highway to hell

"Ah."

"AAAAAAA! KAZUMA! WE ARE FALLING!"

"YOU IDIOT! WE ARE ALL GONNA DIE BECAUSE OF YOU!"

"THE SENSATION OF AIR RUSHING PAST ME, FALLING IS SO GOOD!"

"I CAN DIE YET! I HAVEN'T BECOME THE DEMON KING! IT IS TOO EARLY! MY CRIMSON PATH CAN'T END NOW!"

Just how big is this hole!?

We fell for what felt like eternity, am I going to die again? Are all of us gonna die? Even if only Aqua survived, she could revive us, but right now, it seems like she is gonna die first. Is this really the end?

My eye caps are closing.

Why am I getting sleepy? Is this shock? I don't want to die of shock aga….

I lost consciousness before finishing that thought.

Author's note: This is my first ever fanfic. So it must be pretty shit, if you have any criticism, please leave it in the reviews. If you are confused about why Kazuma fell unconscious, it is kind of a workaround a little plothole that would have happened