Disclaimer: I do not own the Fate franchise it belongs to Kinoko Nasu and Type-Moon.

Snow White and Her Children

Chapter 9

"So…do I get to meet that charming Japanese peasant you've mentioned a few times before? Shero, wasn't it?"

Luvia and her cousins were lounging in a sitting room, plenty of tea and sweetmeats sitting on the coffee table. The former languidly stretched out on the couch, wearing only a loose and short-sleeved dress of white with blue accents, while the latter sat next to each other in armchairs and wearing their usual long-sleeved tops of blue over dark knee skirts and leggings.

"Close enough…" Rin said with a laugh.

"…it's actually Shirou, but yeah, like Rin said…" Sakura remarked.

"…close enough." Rin finished.

"Isn't he also your mother's apprentice?" Luvia asked.

"No, no." Rin said. "More a student, which is very different from an apprentice, as you well know."

"True," Luvia conceded. "If I remember right, he's the son of a spell-caster, right?"

Rin and Sakura looked at each other, wondering if Luvia knew more about Kiritsugu Emiya more than she was letting on, and if so, why was she holding out. An unspoken conversation passed between the twins, and turning back to Luvia, gave her a deadpan look.

"You already know about Kiritsugu Emiya, don't you?" they chorused.

"…oh fine, you've got me there." Luvia said with a roll of her eyes. "Yes, I know all about him already. I looked into that charming peasant boy's background, and found that while he might be a nobody, his father was by no means a nobody. Spell-caster or not, Kiritsugu Emiya had a very impressive combat record, worth respecting for that alone. Mind you, though, he's made a lot of enemies. For instance, even if it was a Grail war, and no matter how impressive a heretic's son being able to defeat and even kill the previous Lord El-Melloi might be, his destruction of the El-Melloi Crest crossed quite a few people on a profound level. And those are just the most recent enemies the man's made, and that we know of."

"…we appreciate the warning." Rin said after trading another look with Sakura.

Luvia smiled warmly. "Don't worry about me or the rest of the family." She said. "It'd be different if it was our crest that was destroyed, but that's just it: it wasn't our crest that was destroyed. And while it's an expected courtesy in our society to not deliberately target crests when magi fight other magi, well, collateral damage is an inevitability of war, even one as…small, and impious as Heaven's Feel."

"Long story short," Rin said. "These things happen in war."

"That we come off as unsympathetic because it wasn't our crest that was destroyed is just Human nature, I suppose." Sakura added.

"Indeed." Luvia said with a laugh, a laugh that Rin and Sakura soon joined in. "In all seriousness though, what have you been teaching that boy Shero?"

"Just the basics, really." Rin said. "Plus some rules and guidelines to make sure that if he does any experiments of his own – which he does – he doesn't make a public spectacle out of it. Or run too much of a risk of killing himself by accident."

"That," Sakura added. "And acting as a third party for him to get some reference materials through, all in exchange for a fair and reasonable professional fee, of course."

"Good service only has to be properly remunerated, after all." Rin piously said.

Luvia laughed. "Well, no arguments there." She said. "Still basics is a very broad term. Got any details you can share?"

The twins looked at each other, and then shrugged. "Sorry, Luvia." Rin began. "But unless Shirou becomes an enemy of our family, we can't in good conscience leak any details about his mysteries. Seeing as he's been a model tenant – so to speak – and a good friend thus far, it just isn't done."

"…hmm…fair enough, I suppose." Luvia conceded with a faint hint of disappointment.

"Of course," Sakura chimed in. "It's a completely different story if Shirou were to share what he's capable of with you. Extremely unlikely, I know, but if he does, well, that's his choice to make. Though…not so unlikely now that I think about it. Shirou's not likely to give out details like that unless he really trusts the person he's telling them to, and you're definitely someone we and by extension, Shirou, can trust."

"Well now," Luvia said. "I'm glad to hear such a vote of confidence."

"Well, duh." Rin said with a roll of her eyes. "You're our cousin, and we're your cousins too. In short, we're family. And if you can't trust your own family, then who can you trust?"

"Eh…" Luvia uncertainly began while scratching her head. "…we Edelfelt are an exception to the rule when it comes to that, thanks to Ore Scales, as you well know. And black sheep have popped up every once in a while in the past."

"True," Rin admitted. "But neither we nor you are among them."

"That is also true." Luvia agreed.

"That said," Sakura began. "Please don't call Shirou a peasant. He won't really mind beyond a bit of exasperated confusion, but as a point of fact, he's not actually a peasant. For one thing, his father left him quite a bit of land, prime real estate actually, and for another thing, he does have plenty of money. Though the latter is admittedly in a trust fund he won't have full control of until he finishes school."

"Also," Rin chimed in. "For all that he's a first-generation magus – he is adopted, after all – he certainly acts more like a gentleman than a certain scion on an ancient line that we could name."

"Ancient line?" Luvia echoed curiously. "A certain scion?"

"The Matou of Fuyuki are descended from the Zolgen of Russia…Kiev, I think they were originally from." Rin said. "Matou might only have been around for as long as the Tohsaka have been, but the greater Zolgen lineage they belong to has been around for as long as Edelfelt have been too."

"As much as I hate to admit it," Sakura reluctantly began. "They used to be a great and respectable lineage. Historical records actually point to their founder, Makiri Zolgen, being a peer to the likes of Paracelsus and Da Vinci. By all accounts, he was a brilliant man too, with noble goals and lofty ideals in life."

"But," Rin said with a nod. "That was a long time ago. And his descendants are nothing but a stain on his ancient legacy."

"…really?" Luvia asked, looking and sounding confused.

Rin and Sakura held up their hands, and projected the image of a smug-looking Japanese boy with violet hair and eyes. Luvia raised an eyebrow, as the boy's face wasn't exactly ugly, though his hair could certainly use a hairdresser's attention, and the smugness on his face was much too like that of certain spoiled scions that infested the Clock Tower.

"Exhibit A," Rin said. "Shinji Matou…"

"…loser…" Sakura added.

"…playboy…" Rin said in her turn.

"…thug…" Sakura continued.

"…bully…"

"…misogynist pig…"

"…irresponsible bastard…"

"…general all-around asshole…"

"…and a complete and utter jerk through and through." Rin finished.

"Contrast to this guy," Sakura said, before pulling up another illusion, this time of a dark-haired Japanese boy cheerfully playing with a football. Luvia could see a resemblance, no doubt related in some way to the Shinji Matou character she'd just heard about.

"Exhibit B," Rin began. "Hikaru Matou…"

"…polite…" Sakura added.

"…humble…" Rin said in her turn.

"…modest…" Sakura continued.

"…friendly…"

"…respectful…"

"…reasonable…"

"…pious…"

"…a very likable young man, all things considered." Rin finished. "If Shinji Matou is the epitome of how…degraded, Zolgen has become from when they once rubbed shoulders with the likes of Paracelsus and Da Vinci, Hikaru Matou seems to have all the nobility and honor that their family once possessed."

"…pious?" Luvia echoed dully.

Rin and Sakura shrugged. "Even though you'd expect him to be more worried about himself after his grandfather had him kidnapped," Rin said. "He's actually more worried about how it'll affect his parents."

"His mother especially," Sakura said. "From what he's told us, she's a very fragile person. Assuming that's not hyperbole, I can only imagine how she's handling the loss of her child."

"Probably not well," Rin said with a sigh. "You know how things are here in Japan. Don't make a fuss much less a public spectacle unless you really have to. Considering the NPA have put out a nationwide alert for Hikaru-kun…"

"…one or both his parents aren't handling it well at all." Sakura concluded.

"Their son got kidnapped." Luvia pointed it out. "I can hardly blame them for going all out. I mean…none of us here have children, but I imagine if any of did and they got kidnapped, we'd go to hell to find them. And I know our parents would do just that if any of us got kidnapped."

"Point." The twins admitted.

A long moment of silence followed, and then Luvia gave a smile. "Well," she said. "With such glowing words from my beloved cousins, I'm looking forward to actually meeting Shero and this…Hikaru."

The twins smiled back. "I'm sure they'd be glad to meet you too, Luvia." They chorused.

"We're back!" the twins chorused as they waltzed into the dining room, where their mother was already waiting seated at her usual place.

"Welcome back, you two." Valkolumi said with a smile, before her expression turned ever so stern. "Did you wash your hands before coming here?"

"Of course we did!" Rin said.

"Really?" Valkolumi asked.

"Yes!" Sakura said, and after another moment Valkolumi's expression softened.

"Alright then," she said with a nod. "You can tell all about everything I've missed while I've been away."

"Okay!" the twins chorused while taking their seats. Maids stepped forward to serve their dinner: rice, pickled vegetables, tomato and cabbage salad, grilled fish, and miso soup served with tofu and spring onions. "Thank you for the meal!"

Valkolumi deeply hummed with satisfaction as she took a long drink of her miso soup. "Ah…it's good to be back." She said as she placed her soup bowl back on the table. "There might be plenty of Japanese restaurants in London, but nothing beats home-cooked Japanese food."

"Except home-cooked Finnish food, of course." Rin remarked.

Valkolumi hummed in agreement, deftly picking up and using her chopsticks to start on her fish, taking small slices to eat with small clumps of rice at a time. "I had Finnish food all the time in London." She said. "Now that I'm back in Japan, I find it only proper to start off with some Japanese food for dinner."

"Well," Sakura said, also starting in on her fish. "We're not complaining. Eat what's on the table, and all that."

Valkolumi hummed in approval while resuming her meal. They ate slowly and leisurely, taking the time to savor their food but not so slow as to let it grow cold either. As they ate, Rin and Sakura explained all the goings-on in Fuyuki while their mother was gone, Valkolumi interrupting every now and then to ask a clarification of one kind or another. Similarly, Valkolumi told her children about the deeper goings-on in the Clock Tower while she'd been there, though naturally Rin and Sakura were politer in asking for clarification from her.

Once they'd finished their dinner, the maids took away the empty plates and bowls and dirty utensils, before serving dessert, cakes filled with red bean paste.

"Oh yes," Valkolumi began while setting down her cup of green tea. "You usually take the time to freshen up after dinner, don't you?"

"Yes, we do." Rin said. "Two hours at the sauna, including a half-hour of cooling down in the middle."

"Should we hold off on that for now?" Sakura asked.

"Yes, you should." Valkolumi said with a nod before narrowing her eyes. "You still have those lowlifes who kidnapped Shirou's guest, don't you?"

"Yes, we do." Rin said. "We've been keeping them locked up until you came back and made the final decision."

"Good," Valkolumi said with another nod. "Because they might just give us the chance to confirm beyond inference that the one behind all this is Zouken Matou."

"An interrogation?" Rin asked. "Huh…we've never watched or participated in one before."

"There's a first time for everything." Valkolumi said. "Though you'll only watch for now. Oh yes…Satomi?"

"Yes, my lady?" the maid asked, approaching with a bow.

"Invite my niece and Enforcer McRemitz to join us for the interrogation." Valkolumi said with a smile. "Tell them it won't be long, and it will be over quickly."

"Really?" the twins chorused in surprise.

"Oh yes." Valkolumi said with a nod and a smile. "Good interrogations don't usually last long…especially when dealing with lowlifes like the ones currently chained up in our basement. You will see soon enough, my dear children."

"We'll take your word for it, mama." Sakura said, Rin nodding in agreement next to her.

Valkolumi nodded. "Good," she said. "But for now, let's finish our dessert first."

"Yes!"

The interrogation room was an incongruous sight.

Well, the room itself had an appearance fitting its purpose. The floor was all ceramic tiles, gently sloping down to the corners and the drains therein. The walls and ceiling were plastered a stark white, the only light in the room coming from fluorescent tubes affixed to the ceiling.

There was a steel interrogation table and chairs, though both had been set aside against a wall for this. Instead, the freelancers that Rin and Sakura had captured several days ago when rescuing Hikaru had been stripped naked, and now hung by their wrists on iron chains affixed to a rack against the far wall.

That wasn't what was incongruous about the room though.

What was incongruous were the other people in the room. The maids for one, all in prim dresses of green with starched white aprons and dresses. The twins Rin and Sakura, for another, dressed in casual, long-sleeved tops of blue over dark knee skirts and leggings. There was Luvia too, in her elaborate dress of blue with white accents, and the Enforcer Bazett Fraga McRemitz, wearing a serviceable business ensemble in brown.

Well, the Enforcer wasn't that incongruous, in hindsight.

Valkolumi was, though. She stuck out like a sore thumb, even, dressed in a kimono of pale pink with floral patterns in blue, red, orange, and yellow. Her obi was a rich orange, decorated with more floral patterns in violet and red, along with outlined maple leaves in gold. And yet for all that she seemed so very out of place, she dominated the room by her sheer presence.

"From what my daughters have told me, you have yet to be properly welcomed into our family's territory." Valkolumi began, tapping a fan of blue that tapered to white at the end against her chin. "So allow me to give you a belated welcome to Fuyuki City, for all that you do not deserve it. After all, have you not trespassed on our territory? Worse than that, you do so as accessories to crimes most foul, specifically that of kidnapping and Human trafficking."

Valkolumi began to pace, lowering her to tap it against the palm of her other hand at rhythmic intervals. "Were it just a case of upstart freelancers merely trespassing on our territory," she continued. "There would be no need for any unpleasantness. We could have discussed the formalities, paid and collected the appropriate fines, made the necessary records, and then gone our separate ways. But this goes beyond mere trespassing. It's not even just kidnapping or Human trafficking either. The parents of the boy you kidnapped? They've raised a nationwide alert through the NPA for the whereabouts of their son. And considering that you are…magi, at least in the most general definition of the term, and you were delivering him to a…client, in our territory, that makes me and my family responsible parties. One way or another, depending on when and how this incident is resolved."

Valkolumi came to a halt, and opening her fan masked the lower half of her face behind it. "No matter how this incident is resolved, however," she said. "Someone must take responsibility. I fully intend for your client and all his associates to be those individuals. That said, I am not unreasonable."

Stepping closer to one of the freelancers, Valkolumi snapped her fan shut, and leaned to look at the man in the eyes. "Tell me what I want and need to know." She said softly. "And I'll see that you all get a lighter sentence."

The man's response was to spit on her face. "If you want to talk to yourself, then go do it someplace else." He sneered. "And how about taking your half-breed brats and friends with you. Gods, this place stinks of sour milk."

Rin and Sakura looked outraged. Luvia and Bazett's faces hardened, while the maids just looked on stoically. Valkolumi, though, just leaned back.

"Thank you for volunteering." She said while wiping the spit off her face.

Then she walked over to the metal table against the wall, where she put on a pair of leather gloves. After that, she picked up some old newspapers and a bottle of kerosene, before returning to the man who'd spat on her face. The man's eyes widened in realization, and he squirmed and shouted in protest as Valkolumi wrapped the old newspapers around his crotch, and doused it liberally with kerosene

Walking back to the table, she then peeled off the gloves and tossed them on the table, before picking up a pack of matches. Pulling out one match while heading back, she lit it with a single strike.

"Wait…WAIT…!" the man desperately shouted. "I'LL TALK! I'LL TALK!"

"And I'm glad to hear that." Valkolumi coolly said. "A shame you did not find your sense of reason sooner."

Then she tossed the lit match at the newspapers dripping with kerosene, which ignited with a loud whoosh that were drowned out by the shrieks and howls of agony from the man. Valkolumi, though, just stepped back with a frown, the stink of kerosene, burning flesh, and newsprint turned to ash tickling unpleasantly at her nose.

In the rest of the room, the maids just kept on looking stoically, while Luvia, Rin, and Sakura all looked on with morbid fascination. Bazett's expression though just returned to normal, as though she'd seen this before and wasn't particularly surprised or impressed by it.

Slowly but steadily, the flames died, leaving the man's lower body a mess of second and third-degree burns. Valkolumi picked up her fan, and paced before the remaining freelancers, all of whom now stared terrified at her, all of whom had pissed themselves, and one had even vomited his guts out.

"I'll do it again." She said simply. "As many times as it takes, until one of you nobodies tell me who hired you, when they hired you, how they hired you, and what they hired you for!"

The freelancers babbled away, Valkolumi taking in all their confessions with a cold expression on her face. And as they finished their confessions, Valkolumi lifted her fan, and swung it once.

"Tuulen Salamurha!" she cast. Lightning flashed blinding bright, briefly taking the form of a miniature dragon, and hurled itself against the man who Valkolumi had just burned the crotch off. Displaced air boomed and buffered everyone in the room, but as the light died, only ashes and red-hot iron was left of the man. The freelancer next to him groaned and sobbed in pain, the heat bloom having left one side of his body covered in first and second-degree burns.

"For all your sakes," Valkolumi began. "You have better not been lying to me. Otherwise, that…"

At that, she indicated the pile of ashes on the floor and burnt into the wall behind with her fan. "…will have been merciful." She said, before turning to leave.

"Mama, that was awesome!" Rin gushed as they walked back up to the above-ground areas of the Tohsaka mansion.

"Yeah, I mean, when I think of fire and interrogation," Sakura began. "I imagine red-hot pokers or sticking feet into fire, not actually burning their, well, you know, off."

Luvia nodded eagerly. "Yeah, what Sakura said." She said.

Valkolumi paused, turning to regard the girls who looked curiously back at her. After a moment, she smiled, and then turned to Bazett. "Enforcer McRemitz," she began. "I assume you have training and experience in Enhanced Interrogation Techniques?"

"Of course." Bazett said with a nod.

"Excellent," Valkolumi said with a nod of her own. "Starting tomorrow, I want you to take these three, and give them a crash course in EITs. They're useful skills to learn, better sooner rather than later. On a similar note, evaluate their combat skills, and develop a curriculum to bring them up to speed. That said, implementation will wait for my approval."

"Understood, my lady." Bazett said with another nod.

"But we already know how to fight!" Luvia protested.

Then she blinked, suddenly and impossibly finding her aunt next to her, Valkolumi's fingers just touching her throat. And Luvia knew that in a real battle, Valkolumi wouldn't have stopped, and those same fingers would have been encased with lightning.

"Fast…" she thought numbly.

"If this were a real fight, you'd be dead." Valkolumi said while stepping back, and then regarding her equally-stunned daughters. "I know all of you know how to fight. Luvia, especially, seeing as she has actual combat experience."

Rin and Sakura looked miffed at that, while Luvia drew herself up in pride that no matter how no match she still was to her elders, she was still on her way to their level. "But none of you are really able to play with the big girls as of yet." Valkolumi concluded. "Not yet…but you do have the opportunity to make a big step towards being able to, here and now. Unless…you don't want to, of course. I can't and won't force you to if you don't."

"We're willing!" Rin and Sakura chorused while raising their hands, and Luvia snorted.

"Of course I'm willing too!" she snapped.

Valkolumi smiled. "Very good then." She said. "That's for tomorrow, though. Luvia, would you like to stay over tonight?"

"Yes, I'd like that very much." Luvia said with a curtsy. "Thank you for your hospitality, Aunt Valkolumi."

Valkolumi nodded, before regarding her children again. "Now then," she said. "Enforcer McRemitz and I need to look over a few things in private. The three of you can go ahead and freshen up, and take the first turn at the sauna. Or would you prefer to go straight to bed instead?"

"No!" Rin exploded, before grabbing her twin and cousin and starting to pull them along. "We'll take our time at the sauna, thank you very much!"

"See you later, mama!" Sakura said in passing.

"Thank you again, Aunt Valkolumi!" Luvia said as she let Rin drag her off.

Valkolumi waved them goodbye with a smile, and then turned to look at Bazett expectantly. The enforcer bowed in deference, and nodding back, Valkolumi led the way to her study.

"Sorry, Luvia." Rin apologized as she poured water onto a slab of stone affixed on top of an electric stove. The water hissed and flashed to steam from the heat, fogging up the inside of the sauna and causing the other Finns (well, one Finn and one Japanese-Finn) to languidly sigh at the relaxing moist heat. "I know wood stoves are the best for saunas, or in the case of electric stoves like what we have, many smaller stones allow for a more even heat compared to just a stone slab, but this is the best our parents could get."

"Oh it's no problem at all." Luvia said, stretching out on the bench and letting her muscles unwind in the steaming-hot air of the sauna. "A sauna is a sauna in the end, and better to have one than none at all."

"Hey," Sakura piped up. "I just got an idea, want to hear it?"

"What?" Luvia and Rin chorused.

Sakura grinned and clapped her hands together. "How about we all sleep in the same bed and room tonight?" she said. "It'll just be like old times! You know, back when we were still really young, and not just the three of us but everyone our age would build a 'fort' out of sheets and pillows, and huddle up together all night long!"

"Sakura, that was a long time ago." Luvia said.

"So that's a no?" Sakura asked.

"I didn't say that." Luvia said before turning to Rin. "What do you think?"

"I think it's a great idea." Rin said with a grin.

Luvia snorted, and then laughed. "Of course you would say that." She said, looking back and forth between her cousins, the three of them sitting naked on damp towels on a wooden bench running along the sauna's walls. "Good grief, we're not that old yet, so we really shouldn't be trying to reenact the best parts of our childhood."

"Oh, come on." Sakura said. "Don't be such a stick in the mud."

"I didn't say no, you know?" Luvia said with a wink. "Let's just say some things need to be said, especially considering my position. Shame Marjatta isn't here though, she'll be really jealous when she hears about this."

"…can our bed even handle four people?" Sakura asked Rin after a moment.

"I think so…about just…" Rin answered uncertainly before giving a sigh. "I guess there's no way all of our generation can huddle together like we used to."

"In bed, no." Luvia agreed before giving a smirk. "Visit in summer, and we can camp out in a single tent under the stars."

"Hey, that's a great idea!" Sakura said.

"I know, right?" Rin gushed.

Luvia laughed and sat back on the bench. "It'll be just like old times." She said. "But up to date with the times, so to speak."

Rin nodded sagely. "Agreed." She said.

"Yup." Sakura said in agreement. "We'll have to keep it in mind…maybe even as early this summer."

"Mmm~" Luvia hummed in anticipation. "Now there's an idea."

The three of them beamed at that.

A/N

Sorry for the lack of Shirou so far, but he should appear in the next chapter.

In all seriousness, I'm honestly surprised that Luvia hasn't been shown or mentioned in anything involving saunas in canon works, considering how ubiquitous saunas are in Finnish society and culture. Every house in Finland has one, and even the Finnish Army includes setting up a field sauna in its list of priorities when setting up camp.

So it really should not be surprising that in this story, the Tohsaka Mansion has a sauna. If Tokiomi hadn't installed one before he married Valkolumi, she'd have convinced him to afterward. And yes, it's open for staff use as well: traditionally, rank and status become meaningless when it comes to relaxing in Finnish saunas.