Disclaimer: All I won is this fanfic, everything else belongs to J.K. Rowling. No copyright intended!

Author's note 1: My third series of one-shots, this one will be having the Dursleys getting pranked heavily due to their abusive treatment towards Harry, by Harry and a variety of girls (a different girl in each one-shot). The story was requested by the user 'busrider.' The first one-shot will start a week into the summer holidays after Harry's fifth year; but depending on who's paired with Harry in different ones, some subsequent one-shots may even take place in the summer after Harry's first year, second, etc... etc. Amelia will also still be alive, same with Sirius. Rated T, but may go up depending on the circumstances.

Dursleys' Payback

Fanfic by Brockster550

Susan Bones

The Dursleys were having a peaceful morning and eating a wonderful breakfast (courtesy of Harry Potter), with Vernon and Dudley eating bacon. As Harry was frying eggs, a knock at the door was heard. Vernon growled as his face turned purple in rage for having his breakfast interrupted, but he still got up to answer the door. When Vernon opened the door, the visitor happened to be an angry teen girl with shoulder-length bright-copper hair and brown eyes, her arms were folded across her arms and her left foot was tapping the ground repeatedly to express her anger.

"What do you want?!" Vernon growled at the girl.

"That's no way to treat a lady, you insensitive walrus!" the girl snapped at the Dursley patriarch. "Now where is Harry Potter?"

"No one here by that name," Vernon replied in a hasty voice. "Now get out of here!"

"I said, where is Harry Potter?" the girl retorted. "If you don't tell me, I'll just barge in there myself, help him get his stuff and be out of here."

"Don't make me call the police on you!" Vernon threatened.

"Like that'll even work, Tubby!" the girl sneered. "I'm Susan Bones, heiress to the Most Ancient and Most Noble House of Bones. My aunt Amelia is the head of the house, and head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement."

"The boy is dead meat for trying to contaminate my normal family with more freakishness," Vernon growled. "Now leave at once!"

He rudely slammed the door in Susan's face and turned around to beat 'the freak' as punishment for 'funny business.' The door somehow was blasted open, and Susan angrily stomped her way in to look for Harry (who immediately turned the burner off to check, but grinned when he saw Susan). Dudley got up to 'demonstrated his newer boxing skills' on Susan, cracking his knuckles to warm up. In retaliation and self-defence, Susan kicked Dudley in the bits with enough force to where a crack was heard. Outraged to see his 'precious' Dudley having been attacked, Vernon tried to beat Susan. She got her wand out and cast a non-verbal charm on Vernon's nose and made it grow long like Pinocchio.

"Am I glad to see you, Susan?!" said Harry with a smile, before the two kissed passionately. "It felt like forever since you promised to stop by."

"There's still more to deal with, my love!" Susan assured.

Petunia widened her eyes in utter terror when Susan pointed a finger to the couch adamantly. Vernon and Dudley staggered their way over to the couch as Petunia sat down in an armchair. Once the Dursleys were seated, Susan cancelled the charm on Vernon and his nose returned to normal size.

"You'll get in trouble for that funny business you used!" Vernon snarled.

"You must've missed the part where I said that my aunt is the head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, you gigantic tub of guts!" Susan retorted, ignoring Vernon's anger. Then she began one long, angry well-deserving rant, "What made you think beating a child for minor infractions or no reason at all is normal? Harry confided to me what his bloody life was like before Hogwarts and during the summer holidays. You three are just despicable because Harry didn't deserve such vile treatment, but you just never gave a shit about it. Why was Harry even here in the first place?"

"That Dumbledore guy said the freak was safer here than anywhere else," Petunia responded in a terrified voice. "To keep those other freaks from harming him with this bond-of-blood charm or whatever it is."

"Well guess what, you evil horse-face bitch?!" Susan revealed. "Auntie Amelia just had Dumbledore arrested once I informed her of everything Harry told me. She had him questioned with the most powerful truth potion known as Veritaserum, but that's not the best part. Under the influence of Veritaserum, Professor Dumb-As-Door admitted that there were never really blood charms, he just made it up just to manipulate my Harry especially. Dumb-As-Door even admitted to have been sneaking loyalty potions into the drinks of other adults in our world who Harry looked up to, except for the greasy git known as Severus Snape, who no one looked up to."

"There's even more to that, Aunt Petunia!" Harry sneered to his so-called aunt. "Susan also informed me that her parents and my parents drew up a betrothal contract for me and Susan sometime before Voldemort murdered them. Would mum have treated Dudley the way you all treated me if our situations were reversed?"

Petunia felt her jaw drop open in shock and fear at the realization. Harry walked over to the cupboard under the stairs, picked the lock and opened it to get his wand. Once Harry returned to the living room, he cast a spell on his uncle and cousin to make their clothes give their skin itchy feelings. Susan cast one on Petunia that made her grow a horse's mane, much to the Dursley matriarch's humiliation. Then Amelia (identified by her copper hair turning gray, black ministry robes and a monocle over one eye), some aurors, and even Ragnok and Griphook the Gringotts goblins showed up. Even Sirius Black (identified by his long, shaggy black hair and gray eyes) showed up to express his anger.

"As it also turned out, Albus had also been paying you money to look after Harry with the Potter family money. Lily especially would've been furious with him for using that money to pay you for raising Harry, but you spent it all on yourselves and that whale of your son!" Amelia angrily told Vernon and Petunia as they (and Dudley) were placed in handcuffs. "You're under arrest for many crimes committed against Lord Harry James Potter, head of the Most Ancient and Most Noble House of Potter. You don't have to say anything, as it may harm your defence in court. Anything you do choose to say can be given in evidence."

"Part of your punishment will include manual labour in the Gringotts Prison Mines," Ragnok and Griphook informed the Dursleys. "Since you've incurred a debt of fifteen-point-five million galleons ever since Lord Potter has been forced to stay in your household."

"You three won't be walking free anymore!" Sirius growled at the Dursleys. "I can't believe you'd treat my godson this way and I was supposed to get custody of him. The ole coot ignored Lily and James' wishes and placed their son with you vile people."

Petunia looked at her nephew with pleading eyes while Vernon glared at him. Dudley tried his mock-cry act, which fell on deaf ears. As the Dursleys were led out to be taken into ministry custody, Amelia gave her niece and soon-to-be nephew-in-law affectionate hugs. Then Harry and Susan grabbed the rest of Harry's stuff while the rest of the DMLE, Sirius, and the Gringotts goblins continued the investigations in the house.

"You know, it seems like you took away Dudley's ability to have children, Susan," said Harry in an amused voice. "That crack I heard from that kick to his stones had to indicate it."

"Well, that pig deserved it for all those times he and his pals beat you up five-on-one," said Susan. "He never would've thought that one possible."

"How should we celebrate, my sweet lady?" Harry asked his betrothed.

"Maybe return to London around lunchtime," Susan suggested. "Hannah told me numerous times about going into Muggle London. She's a half-blood, so she has some familiarity of muggle culture. Perhaps lunch at a nice restaurant, my handsome man!"

Harry nodded his head in agreement as he and Susan headed outside and over to the driveway. Harry stuck his wand out toward the street to call for the Knight Bus to take him and Susan over to Bones Manor, so Harry could drop his stuff off there. As the Knight Bus began escorting Harry and Susan to Bones Manor, he was smiling in anticipation at the fact that he no longer had to worry about Dumbledore, nor the Dursleys anymore (the feeling of holding hands with his betrothed made it easier for him to relax). Now Harry can look forward to some missed bonding moments not only with Sirius, but with Amelia and Susan.

The End

Author's note 2: First one-shot in this series finished. Which girl should Harry be paired with in the next one-shot? Please let me know in a review or a PM. If you also have ideas you think could work, don't hesitate to let me know. Happy reading!