28: A Knight's Sword.

As I exit the infirmary, I run into an unexpected face. An athletic woman in a T-shirt and jeans, with blonde hair tied up in a ponytail - on her way back from the simulator, judging from the sweat on her face.

"Yo, Mordred! Did you finish bullying Mash already?" I ask the knight.

"Oi, I'm gonna need to object to your word choice there." She deadpans. "People will get the wrong idea."

"...Well I can see that." I reply, tapping my chin. "Then, did you finish stealing Mash's lunch money already?"

"Don't just double down on it!" She yells. "It's just training, dammit, training! It's natural that it's one-sided for now, since she's got to adapt that guy's fighting style to her smaller body!"

"Hm… if you say so." I mutter in faux concern. "Still, if I catch you sending her to the lunchroom to buy you food, I'm telling the teacher."

"Just what type of person do you think I am!?"

"Huh? A delinquent, obviously." I say without hesitation. "I bet you rode a motorcycle to school and hid on the rooftop to smoke cigarettes."

"No way! Those things are gross! I'm never smoking ever again!" She protests.

"Wait, so you've actually done it!?" I laugh.

"S-shut up!"

"So you were on your way to pick up your new sword?" I ask as we walk through the deserted hallway. "Da Vinci sure works fast, huh? I'm glad we've got someone reliable handling this stuff."

Considering we only got back four days ago, I'm sure it's gotta be an absurd feat, even if the [Mystic Code] she's creating will never measure up to [Clarent].

"Hey, don't go calling her reliable to her face. That woman's already got an ego and personality about as twisted as that flower bastard's." Mordred sighs.

"Flower bastard…?" I ask. If that's some old enemy of hers, I don't think I've heard-

"Merlin." She says. "I mean, they aren't rotten in quite the same ways, but it's annoying nonetheless."

"Eehh…" I groan. "So he's got a gross personality too, huh? I guess I should have been able to guess that by this point."

"Hm?" She raises an eyebrow.

"I met three or four renowned magic-users in the other world, and they were all perverts, scumbags, or perverted scumbags." I explain.

"Oh, if those are the categories, then it's easy - Da Vinci, Mother, Merlin." The knight says.

"Tch, so they're both perverts, huh? So, which kind? Exhibitionist perverts? Creepy clown perverts? 'Tee-hee, that drink was actually my bodily fluids' perverts?" I ask with a shudder.

"Merlin was half-incubus, so he couldn't feel emotion without leeching it from others… so he went around, telling innocent people things like 'unfortunately, your father will never love you', and 'don't worry, I'm sure someone will love you one day', and even 'I've fallen in love with you just now, would you marry me?' - just to laugh and take those emotions for his own later use!" She shouts, tears in her eyes.

Somehow, the image of a laughing man with slicked-back blue hair and a white and black mask appears in my mind. But I'm pretty sure that I've never met anyone like that, right?

"Eh, Master, you're looking a bit pale there…" Mordred comments.

"Roswaal is the teacher… the giant hamster wants to eat me… the little girl is a salaryman..." I mutter massaging my temples. "Ugh, my head…"

"Master, you're going cross-eyed, so stop thinking about strange things, okay!?"

Da Vinci's workshop is a mixed up place, full of all kinds of objects that really shouldn't be sharing a space - as befits the world-famous [Renaissance Man], who lived a ridiculous multi-faceted life as an artist, scientist, inventor, and mage. The shelves are filled with books, models, telescopes, strange magic items, blueprints… From the ceiling, several model flying contraptions hang, and spread across the room's multiple tables are various manuscripts, paintings, and diagrams.

...Well, that being said, it's all still several orders of magnitude more organized than Roswaal's office, so my butler's pride can let this one go.

"Well, if it isn't our mysterious alien man of mystery!" Says a beautiful dark-haired woman. "And Mordred as well - welcome to Da Vinci-chan's wonderful workshop!"

"Wait, do I actually seem that suspicious!?" I complain. "Also, despite my time in another world, I'm still originally from Earth, you know! Do you consider Neil Armstrong an alien!?"

Da Vinci smirks. "Well, depending on what the data that the Magi in the US have kept to themselves says, the answer might not be what you'd expect. But let's move past that for now, okay?"

"No, you definitely just said something unbelievable that I don't want to let slide…" I mutter.

"In any case, I suppose you've both come along to pick up my newest masterpiece?" She says, breezing past my flimsy protest and leading us over to a hastily constructed forge in one of the corners of the room. Once there, she picks up a two-handed sword in a silver-red scabbard, and unsheathes it to display a gleaming silver blade patterned with lines of blue crystal. "Ta-da! Da Vinci-chan's brand new [Azoth Longsword]! Let me tell you, reworking Para-kun's magnum opus into something that could be used in actual melee without breaking was no mean feat! But here it is - it's no [Clarent], but it should be able to repurpose and amplify your Mana Bursts in a similar enough manner for you to imitate what you did with that sword."

Mordred picks it up with some apprehension, giving it a few experimental swings - and then a smile splits her face and she lets out a gleeful shout. "Woah, what the hell!? This thing's actually amazing! I was expecting it to be all clumsy, 'cause you're not a swordsman, but it's almost as easy to use as Clarent!"

"Heh, heh, heh!" The inventor lets out a smug laugh. "Just who do you think I am? Barring the Wright Brothers or maybe old man Daedalus, there's not a Heroic Spirit in existence more versed in aerodynamic design than me!"

"...But your flying machines were never actually built, were they?" I can't help but point out.

"Bah! The jump from blueprints to the real world is only difficult if you can't account for every tiny difference between reality and your mental model thereof." She says, waving off my concern with an absurd boast. "A beautiful genius like myself is more than capable of such things, you know? It's nowhere near as difficult as turning myself into a woman was."

"...Hang on, can you repeat that?" I must have misheard.

"Turning myself into a woman was much harder than creating vehicles is." She repeats, a smile on her face.

"So I heard right the first time!?"

"Indeed! Such a thing wasn't possible when I was alive, but since Spirit Origins are surprisingly malleable, I was able to turn myself into a perfect incarnation of beauty!" She boasts, flinging her arms wide. "Behold! Life imitates art!"

"Perfect incarnation of beauty…?" I mumble.

"Look! You want to see? See!" She says, growing more and more animated. "Feast your eyes! Glut your soul on my all encompassing beauty!"

"Well, there's no accounting for taste." I finally conclude.

"Eh!? Taste!? I'm the Mona Lisa! That Mona Lisa! Taste has nothing to do with it; this is what true beauty looks like!" She shouts. "...Oh!~ I see… you're the type who likes to see pretty girls flustered!~ I see, I see-!"

"No, I'm just not interested. The true standard of beauty is about four centimeters taller, with pointed ears, purple eyes and silver hair that reaches her waist." I explain, nodding to myself. "Also, she looks really beautiful in a white dress with purple highlights, although in truth she actually looks cute no matter what she's wearing. In addition, she's willing to call people stupid to their face, but only when they're actually being stupid or when she just happens to be really flustered. As an added bonus, she's got an adorable tendency to use outdated slang terms, allowing me to correct her as a running joke between the two of us. She wants to be king, but only because it's the only way she knows of to help a bunch of people from her hometown. In short, Emilia-tan is perfect, so you don't measure up at all!"

"Ah, I see. So it's a matter of love, huh?" The inventor replies with a melancholy smile. "I never experienced such a thing in life, so I can't comment. But then, looking at you, I'm kind of glad I never did."

"Eh?" Falling for Emilia was the best thing that ever happened to me, though. I'm not sure what she's on about.

"Subaru-kun… you do realize that you're crying, right?" Da Vinci points out, and the warm, salty liquid that had dripped into my mouth as I was speaking finally registers.

Huh. So I am.

Mordred and I leave Da Vinci's workshop around fifteen minutes later. We walk for a while in silence, her face clearly frowning. Finally, I break the silence.

"Sorry, things got a bit heavy there. I'm doing my best to keep my homesickness suppressed, but it occasionally leaks out like that." I say with a wry grin.

"Eh? No, that's fine. I cried after my fight with Father, so it's not like I've got room to judge you." She replies with a shrug. "On that note…" She turns to look at me, face-to-face, with a big smile on her face.

"...Thank you, Natsuki Subaru. Because of your encouragement, I was able to defeat my Father for the first time. Of course, that weirdness with Avalon was also a major factor. Because of you, the fairies accepted me as Arthur's successor. So… thank you." Suddenly, the Crimson Knight of Betrayal kneels in front of me, armor materializing. "If you'll allow someone like me to be your knight, then… My sword is yours. From here, to the depths of hell."

"...That's sort of weird, since I'm a knight myself, you know?" I say, scratching the back of my head.

"Oi, don't ruin the moment, you bastard!" She laughs.

"Sorry, sorry… Well, I've already said it, but I'm glad to have you on the team, Mordred." I say, grinning. "Welcome to the Emilia Faction of the Lugnica Royal Selection, I guess. Oh, and Chaldea too. That whole 'save the world' thing is still going on, so we should probably focus on that for now."

"I'm taking that as a promise to bring me to that other world along with you, ya know?" She says, standing back up and dematerializing her armor.

"Please, we're chronically short on firepower back home. Bringing whoever's willing to come is a matter of course." I point out. "...By the way, not to kill the moment, but are you actually okay with how things turned out with Arthur? I know I'd still be whining about it."

"Nah, I'm still not satisfied. But we're fighting to save the world after all." She says with a chuckle. "He acknowledged me as 'Sir Mordred', and that's progress. I'm sure Father will show up at least three more times after this, so I'll beat it into his head eventually."

"...Are you sure? She said she'd leave the rest to you, you know?" I say with a raised eyebrow.

"Hah! This is King Arthur we're talking about!" Mordred says pridefully. "The same person who, after getting knocked out of a jousting tournament, would sneak back into the tournament grounds wearing increasingly unconvincing disguises all the way into the finals!"

"Don't act like that's something to be proud of!" I yell.

"Isn't it? It was Father's way of showing his subjects that he would never give up fighting for them!" Mordred says, a sparkle in her eye.

"Are you sure she didn't just hate losing!?"

A/N:

Someone on SB said something about my wildly varied upload timing, so I hit him with the super early chapter for the sake of the joke. My eyes are dry from staying up to late, but it's funny so I'll call this worth it.

The Isekai Quartet reference is in no way an implication of any appearance from other Quartet characters. It's just a joke.

Also, that tidbit from Mordred at the end isn't canon (as far as we know), but it's so painfully Saber that I couldn't resist throwing it in after I thought of it.

Next chapter Wednesday maybe?

Review Responses:

Mizen said:

Nice chapter as always. Yesterday I was reading Hundred Gauntlets again and suddenly thought "How would Kumagawa fill the role of Last Master of Chaldea?" and wanted to ask your opinion

...If it's against Goetia specifically, Kumagawa has a serious advantage, purely in terms of affinity. Because he's such a pathetic existence, the Beast of Pity will never willingly observe him - he's too sickening to look at.

Of course, in terms of master ability, he'd be near useless. And realistically, the only way I can think of for Kumagawa to even get involved at Chaldea would be for the author to make him a demi-servant of Angra Mainyu or something. If he doesn't have All Fiction he won't be able to brute force his way in, and if he has it, then his involvement with the incineration would probably end up as something like:

Goetia: *incinerates the world*

Kumagawa: 「Alright, let's just erase that! Now, to find this mysterious pyrokinetic assassin!」 *spends two years searching in vain for the one who killed him.*

Zennishi said:

Say, is it just me or are Merlin and Echidna alike? They're both playful, have no biological capacity for compassion (sociopath or psycopath) yet are still willing to help others. What would an omake between Merlin and Echidna look like? :P

Merlin: *Sips tea politely*

Echidna: "Actually, that tea is more or less a bodily fluid of mine."

Merlin: *Sips tea AGGRESSIVELY*

D. said:

But quick question, sorry if you already answered this but I got confused, is the demon that got ripped to shreds by satella, Flauros, is he alive and back at the Temple or no and was replaced by another demon?

Flauros died and a new Flauros was born in the Temple of Time, as per its intended function. That being said, for some reason he doesn't remember how his predecessor died...

nanox876 said:

I know that this is a bit late, but isn't it implied that the Alien God is simply using Beast VII as a host body? Does EMIYA come from an FGO timeline further along, but hasn't reached the point where everything is explained?

Unknown at this point. EMIYA Alter knows a few things about beasts due to his nature as a Counter Guardian, and Satella seems to match the description he was provided for Beast Seven.

Riniver said:

You've somehow sold tge concept of Subaru summoning himself too well. It certainly would be interesting seeing the cast in disbelief at how in the world Mr. Radio Calisthenics managed to become a Heroic Spirit. Also, I never knew anything about Re:Zero before but reading this fic has gotten me interested in it. I'm currently watching the first season and will probably go on from there. Thank you for writing this!

My secret plan to increase the size of the Re:Zero fandom and thus hopefully birth more decent fics to read, is slowly progressing! Muahaha!

shahmeeralikhokhar said:

If you were bring Hanam back and s reading hat he cut of his right arm handicaps him but my question is how much can you break the rules or some way use them to give Hanam a bionic arm?

Well, Da Vinci is a genius, so a puppet arm is far from impossible - but whether said arm would turn into a degraded version of Shaytan's is up in the air. Doesn't really matter since Hanam disappeared, but yeah.

B said:

So what about roswaal what would the servants think of him and his ability

Ultimately he's "just" an extremely competent caster with a weird personality quirk. He'd certainly raise a few eyebrows, but he's at least bearable to be around, so he'd get a warmer reception than Petelgeuse and Regulus.

Of course, if Mephistopheles is present then things could get weird.

Mephi: "He's like the brother I never had!"