Skipped Over
Part 1: Not-So-Sweet Sixteen
That day, the one he hated so much, the day he dreaded every year, was fast approaching. Along with it, came the yearly anxiety and depressed thoughts that would accumulate in his heart until it was finally over, and he could finally relax. Things would feel normal again.
It was that especially melty, wet time of year. The weather on Berk hadn't yet decided if it wanted to snow again or become tentative Spring just yet. Not that it bothered the residents, bad weather was the norm and the Vikings were prepared for the worst.
Hiccup sat outside, quietly, with his new group of friends. He had only been half-listening to their conversation as his mind wandered to other things. But a new topic of conversation drew him in and a feeling of anxiety started growing in the pit of his stomach
"Tuff and I have a tradition." Ruffnut was telling the group of friends as they lounged on the steps that led to the Great Hall, taking in the limited amount of sun the weather decided to grant them that day. "We have to do something we have never done before on Leap Day."
"Last Leap Day we behaved, all day long." Tuffnut said in a bragging voice.
"It wasn't very fun." Ruffnut added. "So this year, we have to do something amazing!"
"Too bad Hiccup tamed the dragons last year. Riding dragons for the first time would have been a great Leap Day activity." Tuff gave Hiccup a disappointed look, Ruff joining in.
"I'm... sorry?" Hiccup wasn't sure what the proper response was. He wasn't practiced in having friends to hang out with, and of course, his first experience with friends had to be with this group of weirdos. But he cared about them anyway.
"Don't be sorry!" Fishlegs butted into the conversation with unexpected passion. "It's a good thing he ended the dragon war! If he hadn't, I wouldn't have my beloved Meatlug! And you wouldn't have Barf and Belch."
"Calm down, Fishface." Snotlout commented. "They're just trying to think of something awesome to do, and you know what? I want in. My mom says that an extra day gives us time to get some extra work done! Who does that? Who works more than you have to when given a whole day?"
"Then help us come up with something awesome and we'll consider letting you join us." Ruffnut said.
"Yeah, but only if it's awesome enough." Tuffnut affirmed.
"Just don't do anything stupid." Astrid rolled her eyes as she leaned against the step behind her, looking laid back and uncaring. "The last thing we need is for you two to scheme more than usual."
"What do you do on Leap Day?" Fishlegs asked.
"Well... I used to use it as a day to get ahead in my training." Astrid answered.
"Ugh, of course you did." Snotlout rolled his eyes now.
"And it paid off." Astrid leaned forward so she hovered over Snotlout, who sat on a step below her, intimidatingly. Snotlout shrank away and Astrid finally let up. "But maybe I'll have to find something different to do this year, since we're not at war anymore. If your thing turns out to not be stupid, maybe I'll join in."
"Not me. I don't want any part in having to do something I've never done before." Fishlegs folded his arms. No one was surprised by that announcement. "My family likes to use our day as a day of relaxation and leisure. We take a break from our normal schedules and pamper ourselves."
"That's it?" Tuffnut asked incredulously. "Sounds boring."
"It's not! It's great. Everyone needs time to relax." Fishlegs defended.
Hiccup listened to the conversation as he sat on the outer edge of the group, but nearest Astrid, hoping to not be noticed or called out to participate. He wasn't a fan of Leap Day and there was no way he was going to tell them why.
"Hiccup," Astrid said his name and Hiccup internally cringed. "What do you do on Leap Day?"
"Me?" Hiccup looked up, the whole group was watching him. Hiccup suddenly felt a little shy.
"Your name is Hiccup, isn't it?" Astrid said with an amused smile. Every once in a while Hiccup would react oddly in a social situation and it made Astrid sad when she thought about why he was like that. She endeavored to help him grow more comfortable around people and be more at ease during a conversation with a group. It was a work in progress, but obviously Hiccup wasn't used to being asked for his input.
"Um... yeah." Hiccup glanced back down. "I uh... I don't know. I never really did anything special on Leap Day."
"But it's a whole extra day of the year!" Tuffnut exclaimed as if Hiccup had just blasphemed in front of them. Hiccup only shrugged, he had no love for Leap Day. Why would he have wanted a whole extra day of the year to be looked down on and bullied? Three-hundred-and-sixty-five days a year was more than enough for that.
What made it worse, was that February 29th was Hiccup's real birthday. And he hated it. Hiccup hated birthdays. For most people, a day celebrating you and your birth was a happy thing. Some people thrived on the attention and loved every moment of it. But not Hiccup. He had experienced too many disappointing birthdays to associate them with anything good. No, birthdays were just a way for people to disappoint you. No one had ever really done anything special for him and he'd come to expect as much, but it was always painful anyway, to realize just how much people didn't care. That realization always put him in a funk for a few days, before he went back to his usual amount of unhappiness. And this year it was going to be even worse than usual.
This year, there was actually going to be a February 29th. If Hiccup liked anything about his birthday, it was that he only got a real birthday every four years. It meant that during the years that there wasn't a February 29th, he only got a vague, but definitely awkward, birthday recognition from Gobber and maybe his dad, near the end of the month. That is, if they could find him. He usually made himself scarce. It was better to just avoid the situation altogether and wait for it to be over. It was less painful that way.
At the end of every February he would always feel so depressed. Maybe this year he would escape the extra day in February by going on a long flight with Toothless. He may be a hero in the eyes of the people of Berk now, but he still didn't expect anything special, and didn't want it either.
Not even his friends realized that his birthday was coming up, and why should they? They had never celebrated it before, they had only been friends for maybe half a year now. And Hiccup wasn't about to announce to them that his birthday was coming up. Not just the general, end-of-February, it's kind-of-your-birthday thing. His actual birthday.
He just wanted February to be over with, so that the hollow feeling creeping into his chest would go away again.
"Then we should make it a thing. All of us, minus Fishlegs, will do something we've never done before on Leap Day." Astrid suggested, giving Hiccup a smile. She was pretty sure she knew what was wrong. He never had friends to do anything special with before, so he was always left out. But not this year. Hiccup would enjoy Leap Day this time, she would make sure of it.
"Yeah!" Ruff and Tuff cheered at the same time, pumping their fists in the air. Snotlout nodded his agreement, a smile on his face.
"Uh..." Hiccup was the only one who wasn't excited.
"Come on, Hiccup, it'll be fun!" Astrid nudged him with her shoulder.
"I... well, I think I would rather just go flying with Toothless." Hiccup wouldn't meet their eyes.
"But you've done that before." Tuffnut stated the obvious. "If you had waited to train Toothless-"
Astrid gave Tuffnut a shove, putting an end to his earlier thought about Hiccup ending the war on a Leap Day.
"It doesn't have to be anything extreme." Astrid tried to encourage Hiccup. "Just something you haven't done before. Like... maybe you've never... done a handstand for five minutes before."
"That's lame." Ruffnut commented. Astrid sent her a glare.
"I'm just trying to come up with something easy!" Astrid defended herself.
"That doesn't sound very easy..." Fishlegs said quietly. He was happy with his plans for Leap Day.
"We'll come up with something easy for you." Astrid ignored the rest of the comments and focused back on Hiccup. But finding something easy wasn't the problem, and it was actually a little insulting that they thought he couldn't handle doing something more than a handstand. Hiccup was starting to get a little agitated.
"No, thanks. I'd rather not." Hiccup tried to sound polite as he declined.
"Why not?" Astrid frowned at the rejection. She was just trying to include him.
"I just don't want to." Hiccup wasn't about to explain all his complicated emotions.
"Even if you just join us as we celebrate Leap Day, that's still something you've never done before. We won't push you into anything you don't want to-"
"You already are!" Hiccup burst out in frustration. He slapped a hand over his mouth as his eyes went wide, he realized what he had just done. He was far too emotional when it came this close to his birthday. He stood abruptly, the others staring at him in surprise. Astrid almost looked hurt by his interruption. She had only wanted to include him and she didn't understand why he was refusing. "I'm sorry!"
Hiccup turned and ran toward his house, which wasn't far from the steps to the Great Hall. He was cursing himself as he ran away, somewhat awkwardly, as he was still not quite used to running with a prosthetic leg. Why had he let his emotions get the better of him? He shouldn't have let his frustration show.
Hiccup entered the house and made for the stairs to his room as quickly as he could. He was relieved to find that no one else was home. He could avoid social interaction and just be by himself, which was all he wanted. He just wanted to wait out the days until his birthday was over and done with. If he didn't give people a chance to disappoint him, then maybe the depressed feelings wouldn't hit him so hard this time.
Birthdays didn't used to be so bad. He had even liked them at one point, long ago, when he was a young child and his father had been more attentive to him. Back before he started to show how little he was like everyone else.
—
Hiccup waited at the table in his home. His short legs dangling from the chair, swinging, as he bounced in his seat. The leftovers of his special breakfast, that Gobber had brought for him, were sitting on the table. His father was preparing for their special day together.
"So, how does it feel to be one?" Gobber asked the little boy. Hiccup just gave him a confused look, a sparkle of amusement in his eyes.
"I'm four." Hiccup corrected.
"I don't know." Gobber made to look like he was thinking extra hard about something. "I'm not sure if the last few birthdays counted, since there hasn't been a February 29th since the day you were born."
Hiccup's eyes widened, all this time, he had thought he was turning four. All the other kids were older than him now, not that he played with them very much anyway.
"Stop confusing my son, Gobber." Stoick reprimanded lightly, but he smiled when he saw how hard Hiccup was thinking. "Hiccup, you're four."
Hiccup gave Gobber a look. Hiccup knew what he was talking about. He knew he was turning four today.
"Wow, and he's already mastered that look Valka used to give you." Gobber joked lightly. He knew how much Stoick missed his wife, but it sometimes seemed to help when he pointed out how much Hiccup took after her.
"She gave that look to you more than me." Stoick had paused for a second, when Valka had been brought up, but he could see that Gobber was right. Hiccup really was a lot like his deceased wife, and it both touched his heart and broke it at the same time.
"Who's that?" Hiccup asked, and Stoick's heart clenched. His son didn't know his own mother.
"Why don't you open your gift?" Stoick changed the subject. It was too painful to think about Valka, especially today. Four years ago, Hiccup had been born and Stoick and Valka had been so excited and so happy, but also worried. Hiccup had been so small, but Stoick had assured his wife that he would make it, that he would grow strong.
Stoick had thought they would raise Hiccup together, yet she had been taken not too many months later. Hiccup's birthday was actually rather hard for him. It reminded him of how they were going to be parents together, but she had instead missed out on all of these past years with them.
Hiccup's eyes lit up at the thought of a special package just for him, not knowing what would be inside. He had thought he would have to wait until much later to open his present, and he would have been distracted all day if he had to wait, even if he was having fun.
Stoick placed a rectangular present, wrapped in parchment, in front of Hiccup and the little boy had to stand on his chair to be able to see it better. He looked up at his dad with questioning, green eyes, seeking permission to go ahead. Stoick nodded in encouragement with a smile.
Hiccup pulled at the paper, struggling a bit. The parchment tore off in small pieces, but the four-year-old's attention was completely focused on tearing it away from the prize underneath. It was rather amusing to watch, as Hiccup took his time to rip the paper, his tongue out in concentration.
Eventually, the gift was revealed and Hiccup smiled down at his wonderful present. It was a book with an image of a sword burned into the leather. Hiccup carefully opened the book to reveal lots of colorful images of weapons and some text. He recognized some of the letters, especially the ones that were in his name, but couldn't read it.
"A book?" Gobber asked, like the gift was unexpected and a little lame.
"Hiccup likes looking though Valka's old books, they keep his attention and stop him from wandering off and getting into trouble." Stoick explained his reasoning behind the book. "He needed something new to look through so I can finish council meetings without having to constantly find ways to entertain him."
"Most boys receive toy weapons or something like that." Gobber watched as Hiccup turned the pages of his new book in awe, being more gentle with the pages than any other four-year-old would be. He supposed Stoick was right, though. Hiccup liked books.
"I got him one about weapons." Stoick shrugged. "I'm not about to let Hiccup loose on a council meeting with a toy sword."
Gobber burst into laughter, oh the havoc this little boy could cause. He would love to see that. Hiccup already had trouble sitting still and being silent during meetings. He would wander around, would talk to people while they were trying to listen to their chief, and wouldn't stop wiggling when his father tried to hold him in his lap.
Both he and Stoick went to council meetings, and Gobber was usually the one to watch Hiccup when Stoick was busy. When left with other people or to play with the kids his age while the two were busy, Hiccup often came back with watery eyes and was suddenly super clingy. Stoick didn't know what happened when he was away from Hiccup, but his son was always clearly upset upon returning, so Stoick started taking him to council meetings.
"It's not funny, Gobber." Stoick was being serious. It would be ideal, if Hiccup had a mother to take care of him while Stoick was busy, but he didn't. As Hiccup got older, it was getting harder to know what to do with him.
"Spitelout got his son a wooden sword for his birthday." Gobber said casually, finished laughing at the idea of Hiccup destroying a council meeting with a toy weapon.
"Well... Snotlout's bigger than Hiccup." Stoick tried to defend. "That boy needs something to get rid of his excess energy. Hiccup isn't like him."
"No, definitely not." Gobber commented, and Stoick frowned. It wasn't a bad thing, was it? "Snotlout will be lucky if he ever learns to read. He has no patience."
"What's that?" Hiccup pointed to a picture on the page. He was so wrapped up in his new book, that he wasn't listening to the grownups talk.
"Ooh, well that there is a mace." Gobber leaned over to look at the page. He supposed the book was kind of cool, from the point of view of a forge master, or a little boy who liked colorful pictures in books. "Where'd you get this book anyway? Books aren't so common on Berk."
"I got it in the Northern markets, on my way back from that meeting with the other tribal chiefs." Stoick explained. "There were a lot of books, about all sorts of things."
"Well he seems to like it." Gobber finally came around, it was a good gift for Hiccup. He turned his attention back to the little boy. "Someday you'll learn how to use those weapons."
Hiccup finally looked away from his book and up at Gobber with wide eyes. Some of these weapons looked kind of scary. Some of them were very fascinating. He wanted to know what the words said.
"Why don't we put this aside for now." Stoick took the book and Hiccup stared after it longingly. "That way you'll have something to look through later, and we can go have some fun on your birthday."
Hiccup's eyes lit up again. He liked today. He had received a wonderful gift and his dad was going to spend time with him all day. He wished every day could be like this.
—
Hiccup lay on his side in his bed. The room had long since gotten dark around him as he got lost in his memories and thoughts. His fourth birthday had been the first one he really remembered, and the last one he had really enjoyed.
Things had started to go downhill when he turned five. Hiccup's personality had really started to show through as he got older, causing more doubts in his father of whether Hiccup had what it took to be a good chief someday. It was Stoick's responsibility to make sure that Hiccup would someday be ready to lead, but teaching him never seemed to get him anywhere.
Hiccup shared his father with the whole tribe, so time spent together was rare and far between. The Chief of Berk didn't always have time for birthdays, and was often so busy and preoccupied that he didn't even remember. At first, Hiccup had come to the conclusion that only his real birthday was special. That all the ones in between weren't his actual birthdays, so they didn't mean as much. But his eighth birthday was probably the worst of them all.
—
Hiccup was excited. It was February 29th, his real birthday. This was the birthday he had been holding out for. The ones he'd had since his last Leap Day birthday hadn't been that great. One year there had been a dragon raid and he had spent the day sitting in the forge with Gobber as all the adults went about fixing things. Another one had involved Stoick juggling chief duties and a sick son, and becoming rather grumpy. The last one he had spent with Gobber, because Stoick had led his people on a search of the dragon nest and had been gone for weeks.
This year, Hiccup had very modest hopes for a birthday as amazing as his last real birthday. It wasn't just the time near his birthday at the end of the month, it was his actual birthday. All he wanted was to spend the day with his father and receive his traditional gift.
Even if Stoick was pressured to give Hiccup the common boy-gifts that everyone else received, such as toy weapons and horned helmets. Stoick always brought Hiccup a new book from his faraway travels or from a trader, and at the very least, left it on the table without a word. Hiccup loved that one part about his birthday time, at the very least. Even if his father was busy or inattentive, Hiccup felt his love through that one gesture.
The books were always about something different and weren't even always in Norse. Some were in different languages, some were stories, some were informational books about different subjects. But he loved them all.
As Hiccup came down the stairs the morning of his birthday, he was hoping to find his dad or even Gobber. But the house was empty and Hiccup found himself alone. The disappointment lasted a few seconds, before he pushed it aside and decided that his father was busy and would spend time him later.
Hiccup prepared his own breakfast and ate, deciding that when he finished, he would go out in search of his dad. He finished quickly, eager to start the day and left the house in a hurry.
It hadn't been very hard to find Stoick, as he was big and loud, his voice carrying across the village.
"I know it's Leap Day and everyone wants to spend the day doing their own thing, but according to the patterns of the past dragon raids, we will likely have one tonight." Stoick was speaking firmly and with some frustration. The people around him were annoyed and letting it show. "We have to be prepared."
"We're always prepared!"
"Yeah, what more is there to do?"
"This is outrageous!"
"Enough!" Stoick shouted over the protests, and Hiccup couldn't help it when he shrank back at his father's loud voice. "You all have until before dinner to do your own activities, then I expect everyone to be preparing for the dragon raid."
The crowd dispersed, slightly appeased, but still annoyed with the disruption to their plans for the day. Their Leap Day, it seemed, would be cut short today. A couple people glared at Hiccup as they walked away, and the poor boy had no idea what he had done to deserve it.
"Do you really think all this is necessary?" Gobber asked Stoick.
"Of course it is." Stoick remained firm. "We know the dragons will be back for a raid, any day now. We must be prepared."
"It might not be today, then everyone will just be upset." Gobber stated.
"And if it is tonight?" Stoick turned to Gobber with an angry expression. "Then we'll be unprepared and vulnerable! It's better to be over prepared and safe than to lose..." Stoick cut himself off. "It's better to be prepared."
"Stoick..." Gobber wasn't sure if he wanted to get personal with Stoick in such a mood today, but he was sure he knew what this was about. Stoick was feeling renewed grief over his lost wife today, the day Hiccup had been born. With the possible threat of a dragon raid on this special day, it only made him more emotional. Stoick showed his love in unconventional ways. He loved Hiccup, worried about him constantly, and so was easily frustrated when it came to his safety. Stoick would not be able to go on if he lost his son in a dragon raid, like he lost his wife. And judging by the glares Hiccup had received, everyone was thinking along the same lines. Stoick was in a mood today, and it was because of Hiccup.
"I don't want to hear it." Stoick didn't allow Gobber to voice his thoughts. Stoick turned to leave, seeing Hiccup standing there, listening with wide eyes. "I want you inside the house before dark. Don't wander off."
"But, I wanted-" Hiccup just wanted to spend the day with his dad.
"I mean it, Hiccup!" Stoick shouted. "Or I'll confine you to the house all day."
Hiccup kept his mouth shut as his dad stormed off to prepare for the possible dragon raid on his own, until his people finally decided to join in. No one would be hurt or taken during this dragon raid if he could help it. Never again did he want to feel that pain.
"Don't look so down." Gobber watched as Hiccup's mood plummeted.
Hiccup wasn't so sure if his dad would be good company today, which was a shame, because all Hiccup wanted was a day with his dad. Like when he had turned four and they had spent the whole day together. They had had fun, Stoick had played with him, had listened to his four-year-old ramblings, had made him feel so loved. Since then, whenever they had spent time together, it hadn't been nearly as fun. Usually it was for some kind of lesson. This is how Vikings hunt, this is how Vikings behave, this is how Vikings fight. Hiccup always managed to frustrate his father and it was never fun.
Hiccup wasn't sure what to do with himself, now that his dad had stormed off. He didn't want to ask him if he could follow him around or spend time with him, not in the mood he was in today. So he just stood there, fidgeting with his hands and looking at the ground.
"Why don't you come to the forge with me?" Gobber asked, feeling pity for the sad boy. Hiccup looked up at him and nodded his acceptance of the offer. Maybe he could get Gobber to teach him a few things.
Gobber led the way to the forge, a little disappointed in how his Leap Day was turning out this year. He usually kept the forge closed so that he could have a day off to do what he wanted, but Stoick would want weapons sharpened and ready to go and Hiccup was looking rather sad today.
Gobber opened up shop and prepared for a long workday as Hiccup followed him around, watching in awe at everything he did. Gobber had to admit, that Hiccup's extreme interest and admiration made him feel pretty good about himself. However, as the hours went on and Hiccup continued to ask question after question, it started to grate at his nerves a little. He shouldn't even be working today!
"Hiccup." Gobber said in as patient a voice as he could. "Why don't you go to the Hall for lunch?"
"What about you?" Hiccup asked.
"Don't worry about me, I'll eat later." Gobber would take a couple hours for himself, while Hiccup was eating lunch, to at least salvage part of his Leap Day plans. Then he would be right back here, preparing for a dragon raid that might not even happen today.
"Okay..." Hiccup climbed down from a stool he had been sitting on to give him a better vantage point for watching Gobber work. He looked back once with sad eyes before leaving.
Hiccup supposed that getting to watch Gobber work and learn some things about the forge hadn't been the worst way to spend his birthday, but it hadn't been what he wanted to do most. He hoped that maybe his father would be in a better mood now, and he could ask him to spend some time with him. But that was not the case.
As Hiccup climbed the last few steps to the Great Hall, Stoick came bursting out of the double doors. He brushed past Hiccup in a flurry of anger and didn't say a word.
Feeling rather rejected and down, Hiccup let himself inside the Great Hall. He was not met with a very welcoming vibe from everyone inside. They had just been told to eat quick and get to work, the celebrations for the day were over.
"Stoick caters to him too much..." Someone whispered.
"He needs to teach him to be a real Viking."
Hiccup ducked his head as he walked across the grand room, he could overhear people whispering and gossiping about him and he could feel his cheeks growing red in embarrassment. He got himself a plate of food and was looking at the floor as his feet took him toward his usual, secluded corner of the room where he usually sat at a table alone.
"The other children aren't so weak."
"...he's afraid he'll go out, like his mother did."
"This is all your fault, you know." This voice was much louder and came from directly in front of Hiccup, and he stopped abruptly as someone was blocking his path. Hiccup finally looked up to see that Snotlout and the twins were standing in front of him. Fishlegs and Astrid were watching from the table where they had all been sitting, eating.
"I'm sorry..." Hiccup didn't know what he had done. It was his birthday, he just wanted to spend time with his dad.
"We were having fun!" Tuffnut said.
"Now we have to all go home so the grownups can do stuff." Ruffnut scowled.
"All because you're a wimp and your dad is making everyone work." Snotlout and the others didn't actually know all the details, but they had heard some of the adults talking and knew who they were going to punish for the end of their fun.
"It's your fault." Tuffnut agreed.
"No one wants you here." Snotlout slammed his hand down on Hiccup's plate, sending it and the food to the floor with a clatter. He was emboldened by the twins' support and none of the adults did anything to intervene. "Why don't you just go home and cry?"
Hiccup quickly wiped at his eyes, he didn't want anyone to know he was sad. He would get in trouble for acting weak. He would embarrass his father for showing weakness in front of so many people. Hiccup decided to bolt, he didn't want to be in here anymore, but before he got too far, Snotlout pushed him over, sending him painfully to the ground.
The twins laughed and Hiccup could hear some chairs scraping against the ground. Some of the adults were coming over. Hiccup didn't want to be yelled at by them for making a scene or making a mess on the floor with his food, so he stood up and made a run for it.
"Hiccup!" He heard someone call out, one of the adults whose name he couldn't remember, but Hiccup didn't listen. He ran out the doors and down the stairs and back home, where he was safe. Where he could be alone and sad if he wanted to be, without judgement.
This birthday had been the worst one he had ever had, and he had been sure it would be special. His Leap Day birthday was supposed to be special, like his fourth birthday. But his father had brushed him off and yelled at him all day. Gobber had wanted to get rid of him. Everyone was mad at him and he didn't know why. And Snotlout was meaner than he usually was.
Hiccup sat on the bottom stair that led to his room and stared blankly ahead. He didn't know why his fourth birthday had been so special, but none since then had been good. He was beginning to think that birthdays weren't so great. They weren't fun. He never had anyone to spend it with anymore, and nobody ever acknowledged it. Gobber would usually at least tell him happy birthday, but he hadn't today.
The room grew dark around him and Hiccup suddenly noticed how long he had been sitting there. At least his dad couldn't get mad at him for not listening, he had been home long before the sun went down. Hiccup finally stood up and climbed the stairs to his room. He just wanted to go to sleep.
The night passed by in peaceful silence, but Hiccup still couldn't fall asleep. He lay there, completely still under his blanket, and with his back to the door. The sadness in his heart was making him feel rather restless, and he couldn't sleep.
After a couple of hours of laying there, he heard his door creak open and the sound of his father's heavy footsteps reached his ears, but he still didn't move. Hiccup sensed as his father placed something on the side table, lingered for a second, and then retreated.
Hiccup was determined not to look, bitterness toward his father lingering in his heart even though he didn't want it there. But he couldn't help himself, he turned onto his back and looked at the bedside table.
There sat a familiarly shaped, rectangular package wrapped in parchment. Hiccup could feel his eyes get watery. He didn't understand. His dad was full of inconsistencies and conflicting ideals. He had been angry at Hiccup all day, yet still showed that he cared in his own way. He told Hiccup that he had to be a real Viking, yet encouraged his interests with a thoughtful gift every year, that he always gave him privately, away from the eyes of anyone else.
Hiccup didn't know what he was supposed to do or what exactly was wanted from him. He appreciated the gesture, though. But he had made up his mind. Hiccup was done with birthdays. He didn't want them anymore.
—
Toothless jumped on to the roof of the house he now called home. He had been playing with the other dragons for most of the day. He was getting to know them very well, and enjoyed running around and rough housing with them. It was different for him, having dragon friends. Actually, it was different for him to have any friends, human or dragon. But Hiccup had changed that and the Night Fury was adjusting well to his new and happy life.
As the day came to an end, the dragons had all returned to their human companions. Toothless had happily trotted back to the group of teenagers with the other dragons, but upon arriving he had found that his Hiccup was missing. He had immediately gone into over-protective, mother hen mode. His pupils became slits and he frantically sniffed around and growled.
"Toothless!" It was the blond girl that Hiccup favored. The dragon calmed down a fraction as she approached him. "Hiccup went home. He's safe, it's okay."
Before she could touch his nose with her outstretched hand to comfort him, Toothless had turned tail and run home as fast as he could. Hiccup didn't go places without telling him what he was doing. His Hiccup didn't leave him behind. Something was wrong.
Toothless dropped down into Hiccup's room from the skylight. It was like his own personal entrance to the house. The room was dark, other than the moon shining through the window he had entered though, and Hiccup was laying in bed. His eyes were closed but Toothless could tell he wasn't sleeping.
Toothless approached the bed and cooed in question, nudging Hiccup with his nose. He wanted to know what was wrong with his friend.
"Yeah, yeah..." Hiccup spoke up, slowly opening his eyes. "You know I'm awake. I don't know how you can always tell."
"Your breathing is different when you sleep." Toothless answered, though he wasn't sure if Hiccup ever actually understood him completely. He seemed to understand him to a degree, and he got better at it everyday.
"Did you have fun today, bud?" Hiccup asked softly, as if the peaceful atmosphere called for whispering even though Stoick was far from being a light sleeper and probably wasn't even home yet.
Toothless snorted. He had indeed had a lot of fun today, but he would have appreciated knowing that Hiccup had left. He wanted to be there for his friend. He wanted to know what was wrong.
"I'm sorry I didn't get you before going home... I just, left. I didn't plan on leaving." Hiccup looked slightly ashamed. "I just don't feel great. It's my birthday in a couple days... and I hate birthdays. They make me sad."
Toothless purred softly and nudged Hiccup's face again. He wasn't entirely sure what a birthday was, although he had a pretty good guess. He didn't know why it would make Hiccup sad, but if Hiccup was sad, then Toothless would be there.
"Thanks, Toothless." Hiccup appreciated the support from his best friend. "I can always count on you to be there for me."
Toothless nodded in agreement then climbed on the bed. He walked in a circle a couple times, disrupting the sheets and blankets and making Hiccup chuckle. Then he finally plopped down, his head near Hiccup, and his oversized body spilling off the edges of the small bed, much like a dog that is too big for someone's lap, making themselves comfortable.
Hiccup set a hand on Toothless head and pet him, bringing both of them comfort at the gesture. They both fell asleep peacefully.
—
It was the middle of the following day and Stoick finally had a moment to himself. It had been a non-stop day of problems and contention and demands for his time. The Chief of Berk did not understand what was getting everyone so worked up. His days were often a bit hectic, but not usually to this level.
"Good afternoon, Gobber." Stoick greeted his friend as he dropped by the forge. He had wanted to ask him and Hiccup to join him for lunch. He could use a good hour or two of good company and relaxation before going back to the chaos of activity that seemed to be going on.
"Stoick!" Gobber put some tools down and turned his attention to his chief. "What brings you to the forge? You must have a lot to do today."
"There has been a lot to do, and I don't understand it. Why is everyone in such a hurry to get things done?" Stoick felt like everyone knew something that he didn't.
"Stoick, Stoick, Stoick." Gobber knew and Stoick gave him a frustrated look as he drew out his answer. "Did you really forget what tomorrow is?"
"The beginning of the month." Stoick answered, as if it was obvious.
"Nope." Gobber was enjoying this.
"What are you talking about?"
"It's Leap Day!" Gobber threw his hands in the air. "And I, for one, plan on getting all my work done today, so I can enjoy tomorrow. I'm sure that is what everyone else plans to do as well."
"Wait..." Realization was coming to Stoick. "It's the end of February."
"Yes. Almost."
"Tomorrow is February 29th..."
"Yes..." Gobber raised and eyebrow.
"Gods, I'm an idiot!" Stoick practically slapped his forehead.
"Well..." Gobber wasn't going to argue with that. Who forgets the extra day they got every four years? It was a special day.
"Hiccup's not here, is he." It was more of a statement than a question.
"No, I haven't seen him all day." Gobber said causally, even though he was a little miffed that Hiccup wasn't there to help him finish the work for the day, so that they could enjoy Leap Day. "Neither have the group of troublemakers he calls friends. They came by looking for him."
"I hope he hasn't taken off yet..." Stoick said more to himself than to Gobber. "It'll be impossible to find him now that he can fly off of Berk."
"What are you talking about?" Gobber leaned against the counter and raised an eyebrow. "You two didn't get into another fight, did you?"
"Tomorrow is Hiccup's birthday."
"...oh." Gobber's eyes widened a little, he had forgotten. To be fair, he had four years to forget when Hiccup had his real birthday, and every birthday in between was confusing. He didn't know when to wish Hiccup a happy birthday. On the last day of the month or the first day of the next month? Before he could decide, Hiccup would just disappear.
"I wanted to make this year special." Stoick looked down, he was ashamed that he had forgotten, again. He usually remembered eventually, which had kind of worked since Hiccup didn't have an actual birthday most years, and he would leave Hiccup his traditional gift somewhere he would see it, whenever he showed up again. But Stoick had decided that wasn't good enough anymore, he needed to make more of an effort.
"I feel kind of bad about that too..." Gobber admitted, but to be fair, his parents hadn't made the biggest deal out of his birthday either, so he didn't always see the point of them. He was also really bad at showing genuine emotion, it made him feel awkward.
"Let me know if you see him, I don't want him wandering off and being alone on his birthday this year." Stoick requested of his friend. Gobber nodded and Stoick left for home. If no one had seen Hiccup today, chances were that he was already gone. Stoick might have to wait for him to reappear before speaking with him and trying to have a special moment for his birthday.
—
The group of teenagers hadn't seen Hiccup all day. In fact, they hadn't seen him since he had run off the day before. Hiccup hadn't shown up for dragon training that morning and he hadn't appeared in the Hall for breakfast. He hadn't been in the forge and Gobber hadn't seen him. And now, he wasn't showing up for lunch either.
"Did I say something wrong?" Astrid wondered aloud as she ignored the plate of food in front of her.
"What?" Snotlout asked in confusion before catching on. "Are you still thinking about Hiccup? He's weird, the dragons didn't change that. You didn't do anything but invite him to hang out with us tomorrow."
"Don't call him weird." Astrid sent a glare Snotlout's way. "Aren't you guys worried about him? He didn't even show up for our dragon training this morning."
"That isn't like him." Fishlegs agreed.
"Right, because we all know him so well." Tuffnut said in a sarcastic voice.
"We've only known him our entire lives." Ruffnut said in a similar voice to her brother's.
"...what are you saying?" Astrid asked, a concerned look on her face. She knew what was being implied. They had ignored Hiccup and in some of their cases, had bullied Hiccup, for years. They had only become friends toward the end of last year. They didn't actually know the real Hiccup that well, and he had been slow in opening up to them.
"I thought we stated things very clearly." Tuffnut answered with an unamused voice, then he shrugged and said in a normal tone, "We know Hiccup, we've known him our whole lives."
"Yep." Ruffnut went on causally, as if they hadn't just sent Astrid into a spiral of contemplative thoughts.
"I bet he would rather have a relaxing Leap Day. That's why he was so upset that you were trying to get him to do crazy things." Fishlegs suggested.
"No, that can't be it. Because your thing is lame." Snotlout said, bluntly. Fishlegs just rolled his eyes and went back to eating.
"Wait!" Astrid smacked the table with both of her hands, her eyes lit up in realization. "I think I know what's wrong!"
The others stared at her expectantly, waiting for her to continue.
"Well?" Snotlout demanded impatiently.
"Hiccup always got in trouble for doing crazy things, remember?" Astrid finally explained her thoughts. "Before the dragons he was always getting in trouble for something. So maybe he doesn't feel comfortable with the idea of doing something he hasn't done before."
"That would make sense, but..." Fishlegs looked thoughtful. The others were thinking about it too. "He did already do the ultimate something no one had ever done before. Riding a Night Fury and ending the war with dragons... so, I don't know."
Astrid deflated, she had thought she had figured it out, but Fishlegs was right. Why would someone who tamed a Night Fury be afraid of doing something he hadn't done before?
"Ha, yeah. Hiccup did all these epic things and then Astrid suggests he do a handstand for five minutes." Snotlout laughed. Astrid's eyes went wide at the comment.
"I offended Hiccup!" Astrid gasped. "I demeaned his accomplishments!"
"Oh, yeah. You kind of did." Tuffnut agreed, Ruffnut nodded.
"Nice going, Astrid." Snotlout shook his head in disapproval.
"I'm going to see if he's home and apologize." Astrid frantically got to her feet and raced out of the Great Hall. She dashed down half the stairs that led to the Hall, then turned and cut through the field that separated the chief's home from the Great Hall.
Once she reached the front door she immediately knocked on the door, loudly. After waiting a few minutes, she knocked again. Still no answer.
No one had seen Hiccup or Toothless that day. They had to be inside. Maybe she had offended Hiccup so badly, that he didn't want to leave his home or see anyone. She knew he was still sensitive about his past. That it was easy to accidentally say or do something to trigger him and not even know that he was being affected by something. And to top that, he didn't tell anyone that something was wrong.
Astrid took a deep breath as she come to a decision. She was just going to let herself inside. It was her chief's home, and she and Hiccup weren't exactly close enough yet for her to just invite herself in. But, if Hiccup was inside and hurting, she needed to help him. So she opened the door, looking around herself to see if anyone was nearby, then slipped inside.
The house wasn't lit up by the fireplace or candles. The only light streamed in from the windows. It looked liked nobody had been home for a while. Astrid looked at the stairs that she knew led up to Hiccup's room. She hadn't actually been up there yet. When he had been in a coma, his bed and been brought downstairs for easier access. Since then, Hiccup would join them outside to hang out and she had never been invited inside. Their friendship was still growing, and if they spent time together, the others were always there too.
Astrid slowly made her way inside, she was starting to second guess herself. What if he got mad at her for inviting herself inside? What if she had been such a terrible friend to him, that he wouldn't forgive her?
Astrid had experience with friends, to a degree. The others let her join them and sometimes they had followed her around. They had been causal friends, simply because she had been the most promising of their generation and so, had been accepted by the others. But they hadn't actually been a tight-knit group until Hiccup came along. Astrid didn't think of the others as close friends until Hiccup made her start... feeling. And Hiccup meant the most to her out of all of them. The thought of losing his friendship, caused her fear.
As she walked through the house, she spotted a wrapped package on the table. She eyed it for a moment, knowing she shouldn't snoop on top of inviting herself into someone else's home, but her curiosity got the better of her. She moved closed to the table and picked up the package, wrapped in parchment. It looked like a gift. She wondered who it was for and why someone was receiving a gift from the chief.
She turned the package over, examining it quickly before putting it down, but a couple words scrawled across the other side stopped her. She turned the gift over in her hands and read the inscription: "Happy Birthday Hiccup."
Astrid's eyes widened in surprise as she set the gift back on the table. It was Hiccup's birthday? And he hadn't said anything to them! Astrid felt a sudden flash of anger, but it quickly receded. Hiccup wasn't trying to exclude them, she realized with sadness. It occurred to her that Hiccup hadn't had friends before them. He hadn't had anyone to celebrate his birthday with. It all suddenly made sense. She hadn't offended him with her suggestions, but she also hadn't acknowledged his birthday. Hiccup was sensitive about Leap Day because it was his birthday, and like he had said, he hadn't ever done anything special on Leap Day.
Astrid went up the stairs to Hiccup's room with determination. She knew what the problem was now, and she was going to fix it. But when she got to the door, she hesitated. Hiccup was laying in bed, looking rather miserable.
"Hiccup?" Astrid asked timidly from the door. Hiccup had his back to her and made no effort to turn to face her. "Do you want to know what I've never done before, that I would like to do on Leap Day?"
"What, Astrid?" Hiccup sighed as he gave in and answered her, he honestly wasn't that surprised that Astrid had invited herself into his home. She had that kind of personality, to do what she thought she needed to do, no matter what. He was almost a little touched by the gesture.
"I've never celebrated my best friend's birthday." Astrid wasn't sure how Hiccup would respond. She had never known anyone to not be excited by their own birthday. But she knew that Hiccup had suffered a lot of emotional trauma in the past and didn't want to do anything that would make him upset.
Hiccup slowly turned his head in her direction and sat up. "You don't have to."
"But I want to." Astrid quickly moved to the bed and sat down. Hiccup sat on the opposite side, his body still turned away from her.
"I don't want people to make a fuss over me." Hiccup's words had a slight edge to them.
"That's what birthdays are." Astrid insisted.
"Not for me." Hiccup's words lost their edge. Now he just sounded defeated. "I felt like an obligation. 'It's Hiccup's birthday, so I guess we should do something for him.'" Hiccup mocked. "My dad and Gobber were the only ones to ever acknowledge that it was my birthday, or... I guess, near my birthday. But it always felt like the acknowledgement was an inconvenience. And that hurt, more than being forgotten."
"Forgotten...?" Astrid was horrified to think that Hiccup was ever forgotten on his birthday.
"Eventually I realized that birthdays are just an opportunity for people to show you how little you mean to them. How much they don't care." Hiccup continued talking. "I didn't want anymore birthdays because they made me feel so alone and unwanted... so I started avoiding Gobber and my dad around the end of February. I would even leave the village for a day or two and just roam the woods. When I came back, is was like I had never been gone. No one seemed to notice or care. I was forgotten. And... it didn't feel as bad as being remembered but being treated like an unwanted obligation."
"That... is horrible!" Astrid didn't think that what he said could get any worse.
"I don't want a birthday, Astrid. It would just be out of pity now."
"Hiccup." Astrid was suddenly angry and spoke in a firm voice. Her change in mood startled Hiccup and he fully turned to look at her, his eyes wide. "Do you really think that little of me?"
"...what?"
"I've been trying so hard to make up for my past mistakes." Astrid glared at Hiccup, but she wasn't actually mad at him. "Have I not done enough to prove to you that I care? That you can rely on me and trust me?"
"You've been a better friend than I thought I could ever have..." Hiccup assured her. He was strictly speaking about human friends, of course. But then Toothless was more of a kindred spirit, a brother, than he was a friend.
"Then why do you think I would only act out of pity?" Astrid looked kind of sad now. She was disappointed in herself for not being a good enough friend. "I care about you Hiccup. I'm sorry I was never there for you when you needed me most. I wish I had your friendship back then, because I would have found happiness that much sooner. But it's entirely my fault that I didn't pay attention to you, and that's one of my biggest regrets."
Hiccup's eyes were a little watery and he felt bad for implying that Astrid wasn't a good friend to him.
"I'm trying to change, to be a good and supportive friend. You mean a lot to me and that's why I want to celebrate your birthday." Astrid didn't normally speak about her feelings in this way, but Hiccup had a way of drawing out her more emotional side.
"I'm sorry... I didn't mean to imply that you haven't been a good friend to me." Hiccup looked down in shame. "You mean a lot to me, too..."
"Then... tell me what you want to do tomorrow, for your birthday." Astrid was determined to celebrate his birthday. Hiccup looked up at her, a long-suffering expression on his face.
"Even though I appreciate your sincerity. I... I don't think I'll ever like birthdays, Astrid. They just... I don't know. I can't help it. I get all down and... unhappy." Sharing his feelings, and especially the long-hidden, negative ones, wasn't easy. He had been doing it a lot with his dad ever since waking from his coma and he still wasn't used to it. "I'm afraid I won't be good company."
"I don't care." Astrid would not be persuaded from her Leap Day plans to celebrate his birthday. "It's your birthday. If you're sad, that's okay. If you can't help how you're feeling about it, that's okay too. But I'm going to be there for you, even if it means just sitting in silence by your side while you wait for it to be over."
Hiccup didn't know what to say. He felt so loved and cared for, it made his heart warm. Astrid made his heart feel whole. He looked down thoughtfully, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "What if all I want to do is sit still in one place, quietly, all day?"
"Then, like I said, I'll do that too."
"Maybe I want to spend the day at Mildew's cabbage farm while he yells at me."
"Then that's what I want to do too." A smile was spreading across Astrid's face.
"I want to throw all the axes on Berk in the ocean."
"I will throw you in the ocean." Astrid couldn't keep a straight face as she gently shoved Hiccup's shoulder. "It's your day. So... what are the plans?"
"Honestly?" Hiccup suddenly became a little shy. "I don't want anyone else to know it's my birthday. I don't want to be around people. I just... I just want to go to the cove with you and Toothless and forget what day it is."
"That sounds nice." Astrid assured him, sincerity in her voice. "I promise I won't tell anyone it's your birthday. Although, I assure you, that they care about you and would want to make it special for you too."
"No." Hiccup quickly protested before taking a breath and calming down. "I don't want anyone to make a big deal out of it. I don't want anything special."
Astrid nodded. She hoped he knew that they all cared about him, for real. But she supposed that positive, social interaction was still something he was getting used to. If he wasn't comfortable being center of attention, she could understand that. "Just you, me, and Toothless then. And... Stormfly?"
"Yeah, Stormfly too."
"Am I allowed to maybe... bring a picnic?"
"No cake."
"Okay, fine." Astrid let out a huff. "Normal, everyday food and no cake."
"What about-"
"No presents." Hiccup interrupted her. "And you can't, at any time, say 'Happy Birthday.'"
"You ask for a lot." Astrid huffed again.
"I'm asking for very little, actually."
"Haha. Anymore rules?"
"Nothing to make it stand out as any kind of a special day."
"I'll do my best." Astrid stood up from the bed. "I'll see you tomorrow then?"
"Yeah, sure. I'd like that." Hiccup gave her a smile. He felt just a little better. If only someone else important to him would have acknowledged his birthday or apologized for missing it.
"Okay, see you later." Astrid tried to look casual, like nothing exciting was happening. "Whatever."
"Whatever." Hiccup repeated. He really did appreciate Astrid. She smiled at his response and left his room. Not long after, he heard the front door close.
The good feeling in his heart left, when Astrid did. He couldn't help it. He was looking forward to having a distraction on his birthday, to keep himself from his dark thoughts. But it always made him so depressed, that he didn't mean enough to his dad for him to set aside a little time for his son on his birthday. Hiccup resumed his position on his bed, hoping to fall asleep.
—
Stoick had gone straight home to look for Hiccup, on the off chance that he was still around somewhere. No one had seen him and no one had seen a Night Fury flying around. Surely, Hiccup couldn't be too far.
As Stoick entered his home he noted how it appeared abandoned. It didn't look like Hiccup had been here recently. Stoick sighed, he really didn't want Hiccup to be alone on his birthday. It was a special Leap Day birthday too.
"Hiccup?" Stoick called to the upstairs and waited for a response, but none came. He was about to give up and leave, but then a familiar pair of big, green eyes peered down at him from the open door to Hiccup's room. It was Toothless. "Toothless?"
The dragon cooed softly, then retreated back inside the room, as if in invitation. Stoick took a moment to quickly grab Hiccup's birthday gift from the table, then went up the stairs. He walked inside the room that was fairly dim for the middle of the day. Hiccup was still in bed, his back to the door, and it concerned Stoick to find him like that.
"Hiccup?" Stoick asked, but flinched a little when his voice broke the silence of the room. Toothless huffed from the other side of the room, letting Hiccup know that he knew he was awake.
Hiccup sighed, if he didn't speak to his dad, Toothless would pull some kind of nonsense and make him. "Do you need something?" Hiccup quietly asked his dad without turning to face him.
"Is... is everything okay?" Stoick moved closer and sat on the edge of the bed. "Are you feeling well?"
"I'm not sick or hurt." Hiccup answered. Usually his dad's inquiries about his well-being were simply about his physical health. Never about his feelings. Although, that had changed in more recent days.
"That's not what I meant." Stoick clarified, somewhat ashamed that he allowed his son to think that that was the only thing he cared about in regards to him.
"I'm just tired..." Hiccup didn't want to get into it, he just wanted to sleep away the days until his birthday was over and things could go back to normal. Although his plans with Astrid held promise for a less miserable birthday.
"Hiccup..." Stoick fingered the gift in his hands. It wasn't nearly enough to express how sorry he was. "Tomorrow is your-"
"No." Hiccup cut him off, but didn't say anything more.
"...what?" Stoick was surprised by the interruption. He didn't understand what Hiccup meant. "Hiccup, I wanted to talk to you about your-"
"No." Hiccup interrupted again. He didn't want anyone to even mention that it was his birthday. Stoick remained quiet this time, he didn't know how to continue or what Hiccup was saying. He sat in silence for a couple minutes, watching his son who was still laying on his side, facing away from him. But Hiccup didn't speak up.
"I'm sorry." Stoick finally broke the silence. Hiccup didn't interrupt this time and Stoick took it as a good sign. "I should have been more attentive to you. I should have made your day special..." Stoick looked down in shame and Hiccup still remained silent. "Can I maybe... tell you what your birthday always meant to me?"
Hiccup stiffened slightly when his dad mentioned his birthday, but didn't otherwise react. He was sure his birthday didn't mean a thing to anyone. Stoick decided to keep talking.
"Your mother and I... we, well. We really wanted to start our family and it was a struggle for us." It was hard for Stoick to talk about. They had their first and only child, Hiccup, much later in life than most people did. As chief, he had seen much pressure to have an heir of his own, but it had taken him and Valka time. "When you came, it was a blessing. You were born early and we worried, but we were so happy to have you. The day you were born was the happiest day of our lives." Stoick couldn't help his watery eyes or his choked voice. "But I lost your mother, not long after you were born. She didn't get to see you grow up... and every year when your birthday comes around, it's hard for me to remember that wonderful day. Because it reminds me of her and I realize everything she missed out on... and now I realize I missed out on so much of your life too. Which is worse, because I was here."
Hiccup pulled his blankets up higher, to cover his mouth. He didn't want his dad to know that his words were making him well up with tears and overwhelming emotions.
"You didn't deserve to be treated that way. I shouldn't have let my grief take itself out on you on your birthday... I'm so sorry that I didn't make you feel loved or special when you deserved it. When I noticed that you were avoiding me on your birthday, I should have fixed things then. But, I let it continue happening, because it was the easy way out. I'm so sorry..."
Stoick covered his face with a giant hand, he couldn't express how guilty he felt for making his son feel so unloved and unwanted on his special day. For allowing himself to brush Hiccup off, because he didn't feel like dealing with the emotions that day brought. Hiccup hadn't said a word or responded in any way and Stoick knew he didn't deserve his son's forgiveness.
When Stoick was about ready to give up hope on any form of redemption, he felt a small hand rest on top of the one in his lap. He lowered the hand covering his face and looked down. Hiccup had finally turned to face him and had put a comforting hand on top of his own.
"Can you answer one question for me?" Hiccup asked quietly and Stoick nodded. "Why... why did you keep bringing books back for me? Even when you were telling me to act more like a Viking? I never knew what you wanted from me..."
Stoick moved the hand that was under his son's small one, to reveal the book he had gotten him for his birthday this year. "I knew you loved books, like your mother did. I didn't want to discourage you from learning... but I, I listened to everyone when they told me you should be receiving the same things the other boys received. I always loved you, Hiccup. You always reminded me of your mother, and I wanted to keep that part of you alive. I just... I let myself believe that you had to be more in order to be chief someday. I thought you had to lead my way, instead of in your own special way. I'm sure it was confusing for you, I know I often contradicted myself. I'm sorry for that too."
Hiccup took the package from his dad and held it close. He appreciated the explanation from him and he thought that maybe he understood him a little better now.
"I wanted this year to be different." Stoick brought the subject of his upcoming birthday back up and he noticed when Hiccup narrowed his eyes for a moment. "I want to make it up to you."
"I... don't want that." Hiccup admitted, but immediately felt bad when he saw the sorrow on his dad's face. "Look, I appreciate it... but neither of us likes my birthday, so let's just leave it alone."
"It's not that I don't like your birthday, Hiccup. I love that I have you. I just get a little sad at the reminder of your mother."
"I get sad too..." Hiccup admitted, although he got sad for different reasons. He couldn't remember his mom. "If you want to do something for me... then just keep doing what you've been doing." Stoick raised an eyebrow, he didn't want to keep ignoring his son and didn't think Hiccup would want that either. "Even on the worst days, when I felt completely alone... I always felt your love through this one gesture." Hiccup held up the wrapped book. "I knew you had thought about me... and it was a part of me you didn't tell me to change. I appreciated that."
"I'm sorry I ever told you to change." Stoick apologized again. He had so much to apologize for.
"Thanks. It means a lot to me." Hiccup gave his dad a small smile before looking sad again. "I'm not ever going to like my birthday. I don't think that will ever change."
"I don't want you being alone and sad on your birthday anymore." Stoick insisted.
"I... won't be." Hiccup admitted. "Astrid came by before you did... I told her I didn't want a birthday, but she won't let me be alone. So, I guess she's going to follow me around tomorrow, no matter what I do."
Stoick tried to hide a smile at that. Everyone knew there was something between those two, even if they weren't willing to admit it to themselves just yet. "I appreciate her for that. You'll be okay, then?"
"Yeah, I guess."
"This is what you want?"
"I don't want a birthday." Hiccup confirmed.
"Alright." Stoick finally stood up to leave. "But if you and Astrid happen to be around, Gobber will be making your mother's favorite dinner, in memory of her... I'd love it if you joined us."
Hiccup watched as his dad left, feeling much lighter than he usually did this close to his birthday. Astrid would be there to help him through the day. Then, he supposed it was a good day to honor his deceased mother. At the very least, Hiccup wanted to be there to help his dad through the day too. Maybe this birthday wouldn't be so bad after all.
—
It was March 1st and everything on Berk seemed to be going back to normal. The people were going about their everyday lives, getting work and necessary tasks done. The day was unusually warm and sunny and it made for a cheery atmosphere.
Hiccup had woken feeling much better than he could ever remember feeling the day after his birthday. His birthday had been a day of mixed emotions. He had flipped flopped all day, feeling hopelessness and despair one moment, then cared for and loved the next. Astrid had been there for him, through all his ups and downs. And true to her word, she hadn't done anything to make the day special. Well, other than the kiss she had given him at the end of the day, but Hiccup had no complaints about that.
Hiccup and Astrid, along with Toothless who had followed them both around all day, had joined his father and Gobber for dinner, and it had been nice. Stoick had even opened up a little and told him more about his mother than Hiccup had ever been told before.
Hiccup supposed that remembering his mother on his birthday was a good way to spend the day, even if he couldn't really remember her, thinking about her and the little he knew about her was enough. It had made his father feel better.
"Good morning, Hiccup. How does it feel to be so much older and wiser today?" Astrid had been waiting outside his house for him to appear. He gave her a fond smile.
"So great. I feel so mature, I don't think I can hang around you children anymore." Hiccup fell in step beside Astrid and she took initiative and decided to hold his hand. She figured he could use the comfort and... she also liked the feeling of holding his hand. Hiccup was surprised for a moment, but then relaxed. He liked this.
"Isn't Snotlout older than you by a couple months?" Astrid smirked as sarcastic and optimistic Hiccup returned. She loved seeing him happy.
"Snotlout will always be a child, no matter how old he gets." Hiccup responded, and they both laughed.
"You have a point, oh wise one."
"Astrid?" Hiccup slowed their walk and turned to her. "I can't thank you enough, for yesterday... I know I wasn't that fun to be around and I appreciate you staying by my side all day."
"You don't have to thank me. You're my friend, Hiccup. I wanted to be there for you. I'm not going to stop being your friend when you have off days, that's when you need a friend the most." Astrid assured him. "I'll always be here for you."
"You're a really good friend, Astrid." Hiccup smiled at her. Astrid smiled back, appreciating his compliment. She had been trying really hard to be a good friend to Hiccup and it felt good to know she had succeeded. She leaned in and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.
"Oooh! So that's why we didn't see you two yesterday." Ruffnut mocked, receiving some laughs from the people nearby who had also seen the display of affection. She and the other Dragon Riders had been about to walk up the stairs to the Great Hall, when they had spotted Hiccup and Astrid walking from his house, hand in hand.
Hiccup blushed and tried to pull his hand away from Astrid's, but she held it firmly in hers. "We had our own things to do on Leap Day."
"Yeah, looks like it." Ruffnut smirked.
"So, uh, what did you two do yesterday that you've never done before?" Tuffnut asked with a raised eyebrow. Ruffnut giggled.
"We just hung out, then we had dinner with Stoick and Gobber." Astrid answered as she glared at the twins.
"And... you've never done that before?" Snotlout asked. "I thought we all had plans. You two disappeared."
"I'm sorry." Hiccup felt kind of bad for ruining their plans.
"Don't be." Ruffnut waved him off. "I don't think you and Astrid would have approved anyway. You two responsible types deserve each other."
"What did you guys do?" Astrid asked suspiciously.
"Oh, you'll find out, along with everyone else. Eventually." Ruffnut cackled to herself. Tuffnut and Snotlout snickered.
"Well, I don't look forward to that." Hiccup said, wondering what they could have possibly done. Maybe he should have spent his birthday babysitting Snotlout and the twins.
"So everyone did something they've never done before except for Fishlegs." Snotlout looked around at the group.
"I did do something I've never done before!" Fishlegs defended himself. "I took a mud bath."
"Ooh, that sounds awesome!" Tuffnut said with excitement.
"Yeah, what is it?" Ruffnut thought it sounded cool too.
"You sit peacefully in a bath full of cool mud, and let it detoxify your body." Fishlegs explained.
"Never mind"
"You drew us in with the awesome name, then disappointed us with something lame."
"It's not lame!"
The group of teenagers headed up the stairs as they argued, Hiccup and Astrid trailing behind, still holding hands. Usually Hiccup spent the day after his birthday imagining a life where he had friends and people who cared about him. Never had he thought it could actually happen. But here he was, surrounded by friends. He still didn't think he would ever like his birthday or want to celebrate it, but it would be more bearable with the knowledge that he wasn't alone.