It was dithering—the damn fluttering feeling he had in his chest whenever he saw Eiji. Ash couldn't control it no matter what he did. It seemed as though his body did it on instinct when Eiji was near. He would always pother and get flustered. It was embarrassing, really.

Ash carried the burden of these feelings for months now. He did everything he could to get over it. However, his feelings just grew more and more, day by day. Strangely, it was a pleasant dilemma.

In conclusion, Ash Lynx liked Eiji Okumura.

Eiji was the student council president. He was also a well-known track and field racer in their school. Eiji was bright in terms of academics and excelled in their classes.

In short, Eiji was a model student. Many people looked up to him and liked him.

So it all began in the library when Ash was casually browsing through science books. When he found the book he needed, he sat down, unknowingly, beside Eiji. Ash wasn't the one to start conversations. Eiji spoke first.

Slowly, an hour later, they found themselves debating whether the answer to number one was 0.5230 or 2.3480.

They were shushed by the librarian. Eiji started calling him names. Ash poked fun at Eiji for getting the wrong answer. Within minutes after their fiasco, they were kicked out of the library. It happened for the first time in Ash's whole life.

Before he knew it, he was friends with Eiji.

Second, the feelings started.

It was all troublesome and confusing honestly. Ash hated how almost everything Eiji did affected him greatly.

For instance, during chemistry, Eiji's hand brushed gently on his, accidentally. Ash instantly felt his heart race a mile and his palms rain with sweat. It was all too much for him to handle that he ignored Eiji for the rest of the period. He ended up apologizing of course.

Another example was when it rained heavily and Eiji didn't have an umbrella with him. Ash had to use his umbrella to accommodate both of them in such a tiny amount of coverage. He just couldn't control himself from blushing whenever their shoulders touched.

It was terrifying, the fact that feelings could do anything to him. Drive him mad even.

Secretly—he wished that Eiji would like him back. Maybe—maybe, just maybe, perhaps Eiji liked him back too. It was something he tried to believe in once. Once. Only once.

Sometimes, he wished that it would all just disappear. But when he thought of that, it brought an achy feeling in his chest.

What would Eiji think of him once he knew that Ash liked him? He'd probably get shunned. Left alone. Maybe Eiji would think that he was weird.

They were friends and nothing more. Ash confessing would be trouble. The worst thing that could happen is them never talking with each other ever again.

Ash sighed.

God he just wanted this to end so bad, and yet he knew that he didn't want it to. He just contradicted and debated with himself in the entirety of thirty minutes as they cleaned the classroom.

Ash pursed his lips and placed the broom in the cleaning supplies cabinet. Eiji was at the other side of the room, wiping the kanji off the board.

He stared for a moment, watching the boy reach on his tippy toes to erase the ones on top.

He smiled. It was cute.

"We're all done here right?" Eiji turned back to face him. Ash quickly pretended to look away after being caught staring. Eiji didn't seem to notice though.

Ash nodded quickly and looked back. "Yeah, I've finished sweeping the floor."

Eiji gave him a curt nod and placed the eraser back on the board. "Let's go home then."

Eiji made sure that the room was spotless before they left. They locked the room behind them and headed out. Ash walked beside Eiji and carried his bag with one arm.

All the hallways were empty and dark. The sunset leaked from the windows and reflected against the white painted corridors. Most students have gotten home already.

"Do we have any homework?" Eiji's voice echoed in the empty hall.

Ash shook his head and looked at Eii. "Nope, but there's a quiz on chemistry though."

Eiji groaned and rubbed his face in exasperation. "Seriously, I couldn't understand a thing back there."

Ash looked at him with a teasing grin. "So do you need my help?"

Eiji shook his head. "Thanks but I can do this on my own."

Ash raised his brow. "Really?"

Eiji nodded. "I can do this on my own! I'm—"

"—What's the ionic equation of magnesium chloride?"

"Ah, unfair! That was the part I didn't get."

"I'm being fair here," Ash teased.

"No you're not!"

"Yes I am."

Eiji paused for a moment and looked up, thinking of his answer. When a full minute passed by, he smiled sheepishly at Ash.

"Well, maybe I do need your help tomorrow."

Ash smirked. "Told ya."

Eiji rolled his eyes and huffed, crossing his arms. Ash thought that he looked cute.

Ash hummed and looked at him. "I'll walk you home."

Eiji nodded. "Of course."

Ash's walking Eiji home turned into tradition. They'd talk about random and trivial things about school and themselves. It was delightful and enjoyable in Ash's part. He didn't know if Eiji did enjoy it though. He didn't want to ask.

They exited the empty school. Ash could see the sun sweltering in the horizon colored in peachy, velvet hues. The skies were burning fiercely with fuscia and cherry. Tree branches lined the view quite nicely.

Eiji pointed to the sunset with a faint smile. "It looks pretty. Sunsets like this don't occur often."

Ash smiled at the sky. "Yeah, I think this was the first one this year."

They walked side by side on the pavement. The streetlamps were slowly being lit one by one. Cars were passing by, leaving a soft, January draft of wind against their skin and their clothes.

It was still winter and they had their coats on top of their uniforms. Ash loved the cold. He loved how it nipped his fingertips and the tip of his nose. He loved how it felt nice against his skin.

"Someone confessed under the cherry blossom tree today," Eiji sighed, "I had to apprehend them since the spot was off limits this season."

Ash raised his brow. "Oh? Who were they?"

Eiji laughed loudly. "You won't believe it!"

Seeing Eiji laughing made a grin spread across Ash's face. He felt his heart flutter whenever Eiji looked like this. Carefree. Happy.

"Come on tell me!"

Ash waited expectantly as he watched Eiji choke in between laughs.

"Sing and Yue!"

"What!?"

Ash laughed along with Eiji. They stopped walking to catch their breaths.

Sing and Yue were a dysfunctional duo. They always fought over the tiniest things. One time, they fought whether Sing should wear a bomber jacket or a windbreaker jacket. Sing insisted on the bomber jacket while Yue wanted the windbreaker. They didn't talk for a day after that.

The second ridiculous argument they had was whether Yue should blame the horoscope for why things went wrong. Sing argued with him and told him that horoscopes were fictional. Yue insisted that they were real. He told Sing that horoscopes were the reason why he met Sing. They didn't talk for three days straight.

"So are they a couple now?" Ash asked Eiji after they stopped laughing for what seemed like minutes.

Eiji nodded. "Yeah, from what I heard from Shorter. They are together now."

Ash smiled. "Good for them."

There was a tiny part of him that wanted that to happen to them too. To Eiji and him. Ash shook the embarrassing thought off—that would never happen. He knew that they'd stay friends. He didn't want to cause any trouble.

"Sing confessed because it's valentine's day today," Eiji said.

Ash scratched his forehead, slightly surprised. "It's valentine's today?"

"Yep. Happy valentine's Ash." Eiji replied with a faint smile.

"Happy valentine's too, I guess," Ash muttered, "that explains why Sing confessed today."

"Cheesy but it worked," Ash added.

Eiji laughed. Ash looked at him and smiled softly. He did it again. Eiji was good with stealing hearts, he thought.

Dusk was approaching at a rapid pace. Yet weren't anywhere near Eiji's house yet. The golden sunset painted its colors against their skin when they walked on top of a bridge.

Ash brought his gaze to Eiji. He looked beautiful. He slowly noticed that Eiji's hair had hints of caramel in them, his eyelashes too.

"Have you ever liked someone, Ash?" Eiji asked him out of the blue.

Ash felt his heart climb his throat.

"I, um, yeah, I like someone," Ash admitted, it's you, he wanted to say.

"Oh," Eiji murmured, "what are they like?"

Ash blinked and gulped—how was he going to say this? At the moment, he felt his mind going haywire.

"They're in the track and field club."

Shit—he wasn't supposed to say that. Ash could feel embarrassment and shame filling him. Eiji wasn't supposed to know. He couldn't know.

Eiji grinned, "so, who is it? Is it Nadia?"

He was referring to the track and field captain, Nadia Wong, Shorter's older sister.

Ash choked on his saliva. He never liked her that way. "No—Not her."

"Oh, so who is it?" Eiji asked him curiously, eyes transfixed on him.

Ash shook his head. "I'd rather not say."

He was sure as hell that he wouldn't say anything. Eiji shouldn't know—or else, Ash would end up with a mess.

Eiji nodded understandingly. "It's fine if you can't say their name yet. I can wait."

Ash struggled to compose himself after what Eiji just asked. He almost—almost said it. He didn't want to confess. He was nowhere near ready. It was impossible to do without getting rejected.

After composing himself for some time, Ash looked at the pathway before him. A grin settled itself on his face. He just thought of something.

"What about you Eiji? Do you like someone?" Ash asked with a teasing smirk.

Eiji looked at him and scratched the back of his neck. "I'd be lying if I said no."

Oh.

What did he expect? Of course Eiji liked someone. He had to convince himself that it wasn't him. It wasn't him.

That isn't you.

Ash swallowed the pain in his throat. He had to accept that it was like this. He had to force himself to do so, even if he knew he couldn't.

"Who is it?" Ash rasped, feeling his heart clench.

"They're in our class," Eiji admitted, "we met randomly in the library."

Well, it couldn't possibly be him. It had to be someone else—Ash ran through multiple people in his head thought of who most likely hung out with Eiji in the library. It couldn't be him. It couldn't be him. It couldn't be him.

He thought of no one else.

Maybe the person hung out with Eiji in the the past even before Eiji and him started hanging out. It was a possibility that he had to consider. It wasn't him.

Ash couldn't help but feel a tad bit disappointed after that. He knew that it couldn't be him. It had to.

"Well was it someone else in the past you used to hang out with?" Ash asked him curiously.

Eiji shook his head. "You were the first person to ever hang out with me, Ash. Sing and Yue are now together. Shorter already has a girlfriend."

Ash fiddled with the straps of his bag. "Well, someone else I guess. I don't know them."

Eiji looked at him in the eyes. He stopped walking. Ash stopped as well. Somehow, Ash felt his world freeze by a fraction of a second.

"It's you."

One second. A car passed by.

Two seconds. Birds flew on the horizon.

Three seconds. The light above them flickered.

Ash couldn't believe that he was currently hearing. His heart was wildly beating in his chest—he could feel blood climbing on his cheeks.

Would he say it—would he?

It's now or never. Without thinking twice, he grabbed the chance.

Ash inhaled deeply. "I like you too."

They couldn't bring themselves to speak after the sudden revelation of their feelings for each other. It was as if a thread snapped in between them. There was nothingness, only a pure silence.

Ash could feel his heart pumping in his chest. It went boom, boom, boom. He knew well that Eiji told the truth. He could see it in Eiji's eyes.

Ash said it. He really said it huh? Turns out he wasn't that much of a coward than he thought he was. He felt tugging at the edges of his lips which he forced to stay flat.

"Um," Eiji scratched the back of his neck, "I—I'm sorry for not telling you earlier."

Ash blinked. "No, no it's fine really. I should be saying that too."

Awkwardly, Eiji smiled at him. "I guess we're even, huh."

Ash nodded curtly. "Yeah."

They walked quietly. The sun fully sank in the horizon. It was finally dark. Ash walked by Eiji's side cautiously, wary of anything lurking anywhere.

"What are we?" Eiji asked after a long period of time.

Ash didn't know what to answer. He was flummoxed like Eiji was. He didn't know what they were. What were they called anyways?

Ash shrugged. "What do you want us to be?"

What did they want them to be?

Lovers. Ash's mind screamed. Loversloversloverslo—no.

"We can still be friends if you like—I'm not forcing you to—"

"Eiji," Ash cut him off, "I like you the same way you like me."

Eiji's face flushed when he said that. He looked away and stared at the road.

"So—So what are we?" Eiji asked him, fumbling with the words.

Ash looked at him. "We could be a thing."

"Oh."

Honestly. A thing—Ash inwardly slapped himself for saying so. They weren't elementary students anymore. He could've just said that they were going to be in some sort of mutual relationship.

Eiji looked at him with wide eyes. "Are we now a thing if we both agree to being a thing?"

"Well it's fine by me so—"

"We're a thing now?" Eiji asked him, surprised.

Ash replied curtly, and looked away, slightly flushed. "Yes."

God, he couldn't believe that this was happening. Ash felt as though was in a dream. Was this even happening in reality?

Eiji pursed his lips. "Can I hold your hand?"

Ash felt his heart squeeze in his chest. "Yeah. Go ahead."

He still couldn't comprehend that they were now a thing. He felt warmth crawling on his neck and on the tips of his ears as Eiji clasped his hand over his, soft and warm.

"So we're now a thing, huh." Eiji smiled widely.

Ash looked at him with his cheeks both flushed.

"I guess we could call this dating?" Eiji added, "right Ash?"

"Yeah," Ash replied, still not looking back.

God—they were officially dating. It was unbelievable for Ash's part. Eiji was someone so far out of his reach. Someone who was very far from his league and yet they were now confirmed dating. Mere minutes have only passed by and he found himself involved in a relationship.

Eiji looked so adorable as he looked at their hands, interlocked with each other. Ash knew that his palm was sweaty as hell. Well, either of the two were sweaty anyways.

"Ash?"

"Hm?"

"I can't believe that this is happening."

"Same here."

Ash could feel his heart running laps in his chest. His cheeks were still flushed.

"Are you really sure that you're fine with being a thing, Ash?" Eiji asked him, noticing his meek behaviour after their accidental confession.

Ash nodded. "Of course—I just feel surprised, that's all."

Eiji laughed. "Me too."

"Can I just, wipe the sweat off my hand before I hold your hand again?"

"What—oh, sure." Eiji let go of Ash's hand.

Ash wiped the sweat on his pants and held Eiji's hand once more, tighter. Both of them blushed. Ash felt embarrassed and apologized. Eiji only said that it was fine.

Eiji smiled at him with the ends of his lips quirked upwards. "You make me unbelievably happy Ash."

Ash looked away. "Really?"

Eiji nodded. "Yes."

Ash smiled and felt his heart beat rapidly when Eiji said those words. It felt inexplicably good when he heard Eiji tell him that.

Silence hung in between them for seconds. Ash could already see Eiji's house in a distance.

"I guess I'll see you again tomorrow," Ash said, a tad bit disappointed that he couldn't hang out more with Eiji tonight.

Eiji smiled at him softly. "You'll see me again tomorrow, don't worry."

Ash nodded. "Yep, I'll see you again tomorrow."

Eiji walked away from him and entered the pathway that led to his house. Ash watched his retreating figure.

Before Eiji could step on the front porch, he turned back and faced Ash fully.

His face was red as a tomato's when he said:

"Can I kiss you goodbye?"

Ash felt the world stop around him. Did he hear Eiji right? Setting his chaotic thoughts beside, he forced himself to stop acting like a love struck teenager from the movies he saw. However, it proved to be ineffective.

Ash looked at him, slightly surprised and blushed. "Yeah, of course."

Goddamit Eiji—he was too head over heels over Eiji. It affected him greatly—so much that his mind went blank for a second.

Eiji sauntered towards him. When they were inches away from each other, Eiji looked at him expectantly.

"Are you really sure—"

Ash silenced him when he placed his lips on Eiji's forehead. When he pulled away, both their faces were flushed crimson—undeniably warm. Ash could feel his heart running in his chest.

Eiji looked at him and grinned. "I still feel as though this is a dream—but, goodnight Ash."

Ash smiled faintly at him. "I think so too. Goodnight, Eiji."