Trails of Despair

Chapter One: The Search of Faith and Reason

Imperial Year 1170

She awakes in a panic causing her to fall off the bed. Her arms reaching around searching for her bow or anything that would be of use while her eyes manically scan the room for the attacker—

White. Quiet. Calm. She holds her breath after inhaling before exhaling more slowly in poor attempt to regulate her breathing. She's safe. Somewhere unknown but safe. She brings her hand up to her chest in a grabbing motion when panic set back in. Her head whips in search of—she spots the long, rectangular pendant on the side table. She grasps it and brings it to her face closing her eyes in the process.

Being more relaxed she takes in her surroundings once more. Her bow, quiver, arrows, and her bag could be spotted in the left corner up against a series of cabinets willed with books, jars, and vials. Relief spreads through her once more at the knowledge that she hasn't been robbed.

She turns around at the sound of the creaking door. A youthful girl smiles widely as her cocoa brown eyes glitter alight altering her original demure impression. Her thin slightly wavy blond hair flowed to her waist and she wore all white. The girl approaches immediately speaking nonstop. The sound of her voice ends, and her expressions rotate through enthusiasm to confusion. The girl speaks once more before her expressive feature withdraw to her original closed-off demure appearance before mumbling something else.

She pointed to her chest before moving her finger upward to her head where she shakes it side to side before tossing her hands up shrugging her shoulders. She may have been safe, but her situation remains. It had been hard enough trying to sell the few possessions on her to purchase a few materials that would hopefully secure her life and feed her instead of dying on the street in this unknown medieval-like place. She could speak four-languages—one in which was the most spoken language in the world yet she had failed to find anyone who spoke any of the languages, and she failed to find similarities in their language with any of her own causing extra concern and confusion.

The girl's rapt attention returned. She points to herself and says, "Sophie." She blinked in return. Sophie? Was that her name? It was a familiar name through foreign commonality, yet the previously spoken words were neither English nor did it have the verbal inflections of Western European countries like Spain, France, or Italy.

She points at the girl. "Sophie?" Sophie claps, grins then nods. Sophie points back at her. She lifts a finger to herself. Presumably Sophie was asking for her name, right? "Kuanysh." Kuanysh Dietrich to be exact. Sophie blinked and struggled over repeating Kuanysh's name, so she repeated her name once more at a slower pace.

"Kunie." After several failed attempts Sophie settled on a nickname. Kuanysh gave in quickly as her classmates in school had the same difficulty, and it was easier to give in then correct every single person.

Sophie pointed to some objects before speaking. Kuanysh presumes Sophie was teaching her words. They were five words in when Sophie stands, urges her to stand too, then holds her hand and pulls her out the door.

Imperial Year 1172

It had taken months for Kuanysh to fully understand her predicament, but she had been offered a bed with three other roommates, meals, and language lessons. It was a strange change of events but a welcomed one as it allowed her to communicate while also offering shelter instead of sleeping in the streets or woods. Her language skills still were not perfect but practicing day-in and day-out gave her conversational proficiency.

She had been given white robes like the other people living there. She slowly came to realization that the uniform was white, not to save on costs, but because it simply was the uniform of the Church. She knew the people were religious through their praying but took slightly longer to piece together that the institution was a major branch of the Church of Seiros. The Eastern Church to be specific. It leaves a nagging feeling but never having been good at remembering names left her at a loss.

It had also taken months to realize that she was not in a different time period but another world. Magic was enough of an indicator. Not just the belief of magic but the manifestation of magic too. Kuanysh learnt the basics of one of the older church authorities after a disastrous attempt of trying to learn it on her own. Honestly, her right hand probably only functions because she was found and healed quickly. If magic was real…well, it was her best chance at returning home. After all, she didn't know how she got here but nothing short of a magical source could have sent her here. Magic reminds Kuanysh of a violin. Difficult to grasp and learn the basic blocks but increasingly easier once those basics were built—initially dangerous to learn on one's own though.

Kuanysh sighs before placing the book on top of four other book before grabbing another from the stack on her right. She skims over the content, slowing down on interesting material but otherwise putting little thought into the rest of the contents. All the magic was centered on healing and offensive attacks, with a few exceptions that have multiple uses like warp. There had to be magical theory or concepts or something! Anything that could give any kind of lead as to how to pursue home. She wants to hit herself for the thought. Don't get your hopes up. Don't leave your expectations in the hands of others. You'll only ever be disappointed, she thought.

Perhaps the Leicester Alliance wasn't the best place to foster innovation as they were more often concerned with having better status than the other nobles, but anything throughout Fódlan should have at least made its way to their corner or the continent. The nagging feeling continued at the names.

The sound of the Church bell echoed through the building. Kuanysh sighs and closed the book. Rushing to return the books to their proper place before returning to the central building. She enters and stands in the back among some of the orphans shortly before the hymns began.

When the singing was done Kuanysh diverts from her roommates to head to the kitchens. She was on prep duty for dinner. Mumbles of sounds echoing the hallways from the hoard of people made her jump and look back before rationalizing the sound as laughter.

"Kunie!" Sophie brings a bag of vegetables and sets up next to Kuanysh. Sophie focuses on cutting the carrots before her refusing to look over. While usually on the quieter side, Sophie was cutting distractingly close to her fingers.

"Watch out!" Kuanysh reached across to hold Sophie's wrist to stop her from chopping further.

"Huh? Oh…Oh?!" Her eyes widen and she drops the knife on the counter physically startled. "Thank you."

"No harm came but…is something bothering you? If in my capabilities, I will what I can to aid you."

"That's…" Sophie closes her eyes and tilts her head downward. "You've been a scatterbrain too lately. How does an exchange sound? My woes for yours." Kuanysh nods. Sophie twirls her thumbs and Kuanysh waits patiently allowing Sophie to find the words she wishes to share. "I'll be leaving at the end of the month. I…I'm sure I've told you my purpose of coming here."

She had. Sophie was a devout believer, but her long journey to the Eastern Church specifically, opposed to helping in her hometown, to be away from home. Sophie loves her father terribly and is somewhat of a daddy's girl, but her mother past and he got remarried less than two years later. Kuanysh remembers her own conflicting emotions of being told the first time. People like to say 'think of the kids' or 'what about your father' but she always thought those words expressed who the speaker cared more about. Both were entitled to their emotions. Both the child who continues to grieve and has emotional turmoil of someone being replaced and the parent who is lonely and attempting to support a child themselves. The new dynamic discomforted Sophie so she left and helping the Church could never be deemed as a bad thing, so her father allowed her.

"Daddy has a suitor he wishes me to meet. I think he's a noble. While my family may not have a crest of our own, or even have the status of nobility, we do possess a fair bit of wealth from family businesses."

Ah. Sophie enjoyed reading of the fictional variety. Romance stories intrigued her the most. You never knew who you could meet with an arrange marriage, yet Sophie said suitor not fiancé…probably. Marriage terminology wasn't Kuanysh's specialty as it is usually only used in the context of other's commentary and conversations. Nonetheless there was a good chance that this meeting wouldn't necessarily define Sophie's future.

"Do you have someone else in mind?"

Sophie's lips twisted downward. "No."

"And there's no guarantee that you will end up marrying him?"

"Not exactly, but…but I…" Her voice goes quieter and quieter. "I don't want to disappoint him."

Kuanysh reaches and takes one of Sophie's hands between her own. "I don't know your father. You would know much better than I, but you speak of him kindly and comment on how he lets you act on your own. He likely just wants to know you will be supported and happy. Even if that were not the case you are you. Before your father, you must live with yourself. I'm sure you will make the right choice for yourself."

Sophie steps towards Kunie and wraps her free arm around the girl. Kuanysh could feel the tears but didn't comment on them. "I don't want things to change." Sophie gripped the back of Kunie's dress. "I don't want to leave here, but I also really miss daddy. I don't want to see the woman he married. What if the same happens to me? I don't want to be replaced. I want to matter. I want to be cared for." Sophie's voice chokes mid-sentence as her tears continue to flow in greater intensity.

Kuanysh cautiously releases her hand and pulls her in closer. "It sounds to me that you do want change but fear the future." Kuanysh's chest tightens as she recalls holding a woman and talking in attempt to keep someone conscious as she waited for an ambulance. How much had she wanted to keep things the same? How desperately had she tried to keep everything together? She remembers sitting on the edge of the bed next to a man holding his hand speaking to him smoothly so he would sleep. "We can remain in place if we choose, but in my experience that doesn't mean we are spared of harm. It only gives others more influence on our lives."

"I'm still unsure of what to do, but I'll…return home." Her quivering voice sounds unconvinced to Kuanysh, but if Sophie lived her life facing forward that was all Kuanysh could hope for.

"Thank you for always listening to me."

"Home we always say that we should help those younger."

"So I'm a duty?"

"Sophie is my first friend here." Finally, Sophie smiles.

The blond rubs her eyes to free her from her tears when she looks up expectantly. Her face always scrunches inwards, and her eyes widen and focus in when she awaits something. "And as your friend I will help you with your problems."

Right. That was the deal wasn't it? "It's not anything as complicated as yours. I've been searching for information I cannot find. Magic theory to be specific."

"Theory? Is Miss Helm's explanation not clear enough?"

"Instead of the deconstruction of the spells she taught I'm more looking for the function of magic as a concept."

"A concept?" Sophie appeared to be confused. Constant conflict probably contributed to the focus of magic as a tool, or perhaps there were constraints as to why magic could only be used in this way. If she was honest with herself, she would admit that she had taken several breaks and considered stopping her search. Too many dead ends have negatively impacted her motivation, but there were people she wished to see; a home she wishes to return to; a civilization much more advanced waiting for her. "I don't really understand, but if it's magical knowledge you can't find hear you may find what you want in Morfis."

"Morfis?" Kuanysh tried to recall the map. "To the…south-east?"

Sophie nods. Kuanysh could hunt for food but worries about travelling. One of the main reasons she had never left the Church was due to being penniless. "Some of daddy's network talk about them having a mysterious magic. They used to be known as the City of Illusion." Some news only travels orally, and as someone who rarely listens in on gossip this was the first time, she heard such a rumor. It sounds like a good lead, though.

Sophie took the silent response as an opportunity to speak more. "I'd like to make an offer if it's money that concerns you." Of course it was obvious. Kuanysh had entered with only what was on her person. "Could you escort me back home? It's will take several days by carriage and I'd be lonely. I'll be sure daddy pays you well." Sophie states a number that causes Kuanysh to widen her eyes and deny such payment. "Hmph." Sophie crosses her arms. "You should take what is offered to you. You aren't in a position to deny it are you." Sophie had a point.

"Alright, I accept."

"That's fantastic! Also, while you're there I should introduce you to my brother. Then you could really be my big sister." This is the first mention that Sophie views Kuanysh as an older sister. Sophie is seventeen, though, making her several years younger. A part of her takes comfort in the words as it had been so long since she was referred to as such. A sister…the thought makes her yearn for home more.

"I'm not interested in marriage."

"You shouldn't say never. You never know what the future may hold." Her words were already being used against her. It wouldn't be bad to meet her family, so she would agree, but Kuanysh did not believe for a moment that it would lead to something. It would only be out of politeness and Sophie's eagerness.

Imperial Year 1173

The new year had begun, Saint Seiros day had passed, and Sophie had been returned home. Kuanysh remains unaware of the future that awaits Sophie, but her family appeared loving and Kuanysh had never seen Sophie happier than when she witnesses the girl hug her father upon her return. She had been offered to stay at their home as a guest before she left for Morfis, but felt as if she was intruding on a family reunion so left towards an inn.

It was early evening and the bar and restaurant on the lower floor was bustling with people. It was when a group caught her eye. Two people in particular. A large man with blond hair and a stern face and a younger blue hair child next to him. She has been so stupid. So very very stupid. Of course the Leicester Alliance sounded familiar. And Fódlan. And Almyra. Faith and Reason Magic. She knew she was not back in time but another world. She knew names and places were familiar, so a part of her had suspected being in a fictional work. She was bad with names however, so it was only now after nearly three years of being stuck in this world that she could conclude exactly where she was with a visual in front of her.

Jeralt the Blade Breaker.

Byleth – determined by the pigmentation of hair and subdued expression.

The world spins and once more Kuanysh doesn't know what to do.