I lived in a simple rough world, I craved and took what I needed to take just to survive. Things get complicated when she brought her light in my life. Every little thing she was doing was full of grace like she was the one who carried a pure brightness to this filthy world. You see, my eyes weren't allowed to look at the sun for a long time. I was just a piece of shit from below the better world. If there weren't my killer skills I would be nothing even for Erwin when we have met. Gladly, I fitted his vision at the time. But Petra Ral seems to not have any visions, she was so full of life to live a moment by just having her pride over carrying on our mission… I was more than surprised when I saw her for the first time. She was not the girl who took down a couple of titans by her own, not the badass girl I have chosen for my squad, at least not that girl I expected her to be. I have waited for a girl-monster or at least giant athlete, but instead, she was… a tiny beauty. And it makes me end with feeling like an asshole about my imagination because I acted like an average idiot, who recklessly laughed seeing the humanity strongest – actually not so tall and overwhelming with its awesomeness me. Wanted it or not from the very beginning I felt we were both standing in the same place – underestimate: me because of my high and she mostly because of her sex. I couldn't resist the feeling of warmth inside my chest anytime she got near to me. It was something new to my guts, which get used to acting like a primal animal in front of women I found attractive (so I avoided them). It started with innocent simple questions she asked not just me, but everyone, because she was the person who enjoyed to be surrounded with people she knew for real. That's why she didn't miss the opportunity to find out some details about her closest comrades, she liked to know our taste, our joys, our families and even if she didn't know something she was great at guessing. Her empathy brought this special feeling of being united into our squad, we felt like family, she brought us to be one. Even extremely focused on my job I saw her little acts of kindness, she knew exactly what any of us needed at a moment to make the day better. I believed my face has never learned how to smile, so basically, I was her most demanded patient. It wasn't that I fall for her from the first sight, or from first tea together or any particular moment… It happened itself, I was so unconscious of it as it was so natural like breathing. Of course, it was unappropriated! An old man like me, emotionally disabled and unable to even dare for wanting such a girl… a woman. I got no clue what I was doing, what have I thought?! We were preparing a meal with the whole squad, when Erd told me in a conspiracy that, she acts like she was in love… I looked at her discreetly with… maybe disappointment, what was pretty unfair of me, she wasn't mine and shall not ever be, I was her Capitan. I scolded Erd for gossiping and I left the room with an unexpected lack of hunger. Petra looked worried about me wasn't planning to eat with them, but she didn't say anything like she understood or at least she tried to. Her sight accompanied me to my office, I tried to keep myself away from feelings that were beyond me. I make myself focused on paperwork and when I fall into neverending piles of reports someone knocked on my door. I knew it was her right away, I notice anyone of my squad just by the way they knock... maybe that's my superpower, right after detecting every pinch of dust. I was caught off guard and it was pure rediculous. I should know she will come, cause that was exactly how she was – caring. Suddenly I lost full control of my body and when I asked her to come in, my heart was pounding so fast as she interrupted me with some shameful practice.

„Oh, you must be very tired" she started, walking my way with a tray with a sandwich and a cup of earl grey. I was like frozen like I forgot how to speak. I have never felt like that before and it made me think I lost my mind, but also I felt safe underneath at the same time with her next to me. She looked me in the eyes with concern, right after she put a modest dinner on my desk. „Are you alright, Heichou?" I couldn't answer properly, I just articulated some syllables pretending I'm fine, but that was way too lame to satisfy Petra Ral. She was worried already and I couldn't tell her what happened, because I didn't understand either. I felt my face is burning in embarrassment and that was a moment when she touched my forehead with her palm, mostly because I didn't manage to avoid it. „You don't seem to have a fever" she stated „It would be easier to help, if you talk to me, Heichou!" she sounded like mother scolding her son and then she added „You are not yourself, Levi" I raised my head to met her worried eyes, my name in her mouth sounded like she was talking about someone else. Suddenly, she embraced me with her arms. I have lost control even deeper, I was about to hit a wall more impervious than Rose and Sina at any time. „It's fine you don't have to talk" she whispered softly.

My tongue betrayed me „I wish you were not here, Ral" I said, but when I felt her arms are losing embrace I stand up to hold her closer, she looked upon my face and I saw her eyes contours turned red like she was about to cry. I let her step back, afraid that I could have scared her. „I'm so sorry, Petra. I would never hurt you, just please keep the damn distance!" Ackerman has back to his senses for far too well, I cursed myself for being such a jerk.

„I'm not afraid of you" she smiled at me full of calm like I wasn't saying such terrible words to her just a second ago „You might never trust me with your demons, but I'm fine just by being by your side" I felt her forehead on my chest when she reached my cheek with her hand and I felt numb again „I'm not allowed to…" escaped quietly from between my lips, I was so helpless in front of my feelings. I didn't understand I craved for her so much until I felt her lips on mine. It was a short kiss full of hesitation. I must admit that Petra Ral was way more daring than I thought her to be, especially she was so obviously unsure of what she was doing. We stood still for a while just reading in each other's eyes, trying to understand what happened and what it means, but our bodies knew better we needed another taste of this feeling. „I allow you" she whispered in between our lips collided again before I even start to wonder if I allow myself for falling for Petra so madly.