In this story Kusuo doesn't look like Kuriko, he (now she) looks like the profile pic, although a bit better, my art skills are kinda (really) lacking. P.s. I forgot to add glasses so just imagine her with the glasses Kuriko has.

Key:

Bold- A/N & Demon Kurumi

"Italic"- Kumiko (girl Kusuo) "talking"

Italic- people's thoughts

Underlined Italic- shared telepathy

More info at the bottom

Only gonna say this once, I do not own Disastrous Life of Saiki K.

When you have supernatural powers, the impossible becomes the possible. My name is Kumiko Saiki, and I have psychic superpowers.

Sixteen years ago an ordinary couple gave birth to a not so ordinary baby girl.

I started talking when I was only fourteen days old without using my voice.

Soon afterward, I started walking when I was one month old, in the air.

At one year old, I ran my first errand.

Now you'd think after a year of this weirdness, they'de take me to get tested, but my folks are kinda weird themselves.

So, time rolled on and I became the person you see now, a highschool student. I can still bend spoons without touching them, like any good psychic, I can also win any corporate giveaway I want. My life is a dream come true.

That is what you're thinking right? Well let me drop some truth bombs. Bending spoons makes it harder to eat, and winning free popsicles just leads to stomach aches. She's the happiest girl alive, that girl can have anything and do anything!

Well that's dead wrong! I'm the unhappiest girl alive, a girl who has nothing! Telepathy, psychokinesis, X-ray vision, precognition, teleportation, clairvoyance, ect., ect. Sure I can do all those things, but having powers like that also means having something taken away.

Sort of like when we feed our pets, they lose the ability to hunt. Or how if parents spoil their child, they lose the ability to become a functional adult. In this way, there are some key experiences I've missed out on. Hard work culminating in a sense of achievement, the thrill of being thrown a surprise party. They're both totally foren to me.

Where the hell is she? "Kumiko! Welcome home my darling little girl! You're running kinda late today, huh?" my dad said leaping up from where he was huddled on the ground. He clearly got locked out of the house again. What I'm more curious about was the threatening tone of voice at the end. "What took you so long?" She better not have been manipulated into going out with some guy…

Oh yeah. He's recently gotten a lot more over-protective about guys ever since I turned sixteen. He really has nothing to worry about, I doubt any guys will ever catch my interest.

"Anyways, could you open up the door for me? I'm locked out," my dad said, thankfully letting the boy thing go. I walked to the door and put my hand up to the doorknob, after my eyes flashed white, the door unlocked.

"Whoa, I love those psychic powers of your's, they're just so sneaky!" My dad raved. "Don't call them sneaky," I said, it's not like I'm some burglar. "We'll talk later," my dad yelled, sprinting into the house.

"I can't believe you changed the locks on me again!" my dad yelled at my mom who was finishing getting dinner ready. "I hope you're hungry, Kumi! I'm making you breaded pork chops for dinner!" my mom said completely ignoring my dad. "Hang on, now you're choosing to ignore me, and I thought I told you I wanted to have steak for dinner!" my dad yelled in retaliation. "I'm sorry I forgot, but I can boil you a leather shoe," my mom said passive aggressively. "I don't want a shoe, leather or not!"

I wonder where it went wrong with those two, they used to be so passionate, I thought thinking about how they used to say stupid, but loving things to eachother. Well, they're still passionate now, but it's a little different.

"Gorge yourselves guys, I made a lot!" my mom says, placing a lovely pork meal in front of me, and a grilled leather shoe in front of my dad. "Hey, hey!" My dad shouted standing up, trying to get my mom's attention. "Oh honey, would you like something else?" my mom asked, smiling. "No, 'cause I bet it's just the other shoe!" my dad retorted.

"Bon Appetit," my mom said, placing a cooked sneaker in front of my dad. "That's not even from the same pair!" my dad said.

They've been going at it for a year now. "Hey, Kumiko, can you use your powers to male this old show into a steak?" my dad said, holding the show next to my face. I smelt the stench coming off it in waves.

So, in case you forgot, this pathetic man is my father, Kuniharu Saiki. He's lazy and irresponsible and asks for help with everything in his life, yet still manages to be an annoying overprotective dad when it comes to anyone of the male gender. Surprise, surprise, the more I help the more useless he gets, so lately I've stopped doing him any favors.

"Hey Kumi, please remember what I've always said, please don't use your powers for evil," my mom said smiling sweetly at me. This is my mom, Kurumi Saiki. "You must only use your powers to help those in need. Or, those people you are certain are genuinely nice!" She's a big reason why I haven't let my gifts turn me to the darkside, she's a caring soul, well to me. "Although you should feel free to use your powers to hurt your daddy!" my mom said, suddenly becoming sickly sweet, an evil cackling going off in her head. She kinda has a dark side herself.

My mom and I turned our heads to see my dad chowing down on my dinner. "Stop eating Kumiko's dinner, you thieving son of a bitch! That's it, we're taking this outside!" my mom said, turning into her, what I like to call "Demon Form."

Truth is, I could break up this fight whenever I feel like it, with two different methods actually, but this is something they're going to have to work out for themselves.

Hm, coffee flavored jelly? Hm, doesn't taste bad. Earthy, with a citrus note finish. Don't let the name fool you. This jelly is a mature, dignified treat. Better still when you add just a splash of whole milk, it becomes a whole entirely new sensation. Plus, that hint of decinance is everything I ask for in my treats.

All the while behind me my parents were fighting, but I was only brought to this fact when my dad came crashing into me from behind. My coffee jelly went flying, but luckily I managed to throw myself to the floor to get the coffee jelly into my mouth.

"You wanted to eat jelly that bad!? Forget the jelly, we've got bigger problems to deal with!" my dad said, bringing me to see my mother in full demon mode, towering over us. She picked up a table, but before anything could happen, I just levitated the table and it's contents. All the while my mom and dad are going back and forth.

I've got the weirdest parents. I really don't care about stopping another one of their pointless fights, but I can't help myself. "So, now you're on your dad's side! I even made you pork chops!" my mom said, "mad" that I stopped the table from hitting dad. Why do I say it's pointless? Just wait.

"I want nothing to do with either of you again!" my mom said. That's a lie, the truth is I love them. No matter how hard they try, the voices in their hearts always bubble up. In other words, all these fights they have are a sham.

"Alright, I hate you both too, so yeah!" my dad shouted back. Just kidding, I love you guys, I wanna snuggle. Like I said, another pointless fight. There is one person here who has reason to be upset, me! Those weirdos interrupted my dessert! I guess only a psychic can fix this.

I love you. "Wait, did you just say you love me?" my dad asked my mom. Is it really possible she loves me back? "What? No it's you who said it," my mom said. Oh no, I thought I just thought that and what does 'she love me back' mean? He loves me? "So you did say it, you just admitted to saying it outloud," my dad says, pointing at her. Wait, is it possible that I love her so much that I've started hearing things? He loves me, 'so much'? Huh, she can hear me too? "Yeah," my mom says quietly. He did say it. "Not outloud," my dad said questioningly. "What?" they both said at the same time. "Kumiko…" they both said in sync again.

"Forced shared telepathy. I used my psychic powers to link your minds, in other words thanks to me, you can now hear each other's thoughts." "Turn it off right now, I don't want you father to now I still love him!" my mom panicked. "Her finding out that I still love her is my worst nightmare!" My dad said freaking out as well.

My parents ended up in eachothers arms saying sweet nothings.

Cool, the end.

What a pain, normal people are complicated. At least now, I can finish my dessert in peace. Suddenly my coffee jelly was snatched from my hands, the worst crime imaginable. Then to add salt to the wound, was given to my pathetic ant of a father. I shattered all the windows in the house… what did you expect?

You might be wondering, what I meant before about how I said I could break their fight up with two methods. Well, one is my psychic powers, which was the one I used, because it was a more permanent solution. The second, was my 'puppy dog eyes'. A technique I mastered, well, more so, like my psychic abilities, was born with.

I was born with two cuses, one being my psychic powers, and two my natural cuteness. You might think that such a thing would be a blessing, but in all reality, it's annoying. Guys (and sometimes girls) constantly asking me out, how people act around me due to my looks, and worst of all, I stand out. Now that is the opposite of what I want. I want to be average as can be, but my looks, hold me back from that.

Sure I get free stuff and all those perks of being a cute girl, those are one of the things that keep me from just using my psychic abilities to change my appearance. The second reason I don't change what I look like, is because to do that, I would have to change my identity, move, everything.

You see, I only found out that my looks are way above average in middle school. The time when others around me started to notice how cute I was, therefore, I started to notice.

I don't really see what others see, I just see muscles and bones, therefore, I don't know what I look like, or what the standard of beauty is.

Which is my third reason for why I don't change my looks, what would I change them to?

I originally thought all the adult's thoughts about how I was cute(not in a creepy way, dude) was just because I was a kid. When in all actuality, it is because I really am very cute. I couldn't really do anything about it in middle school because everyone already knew what I looked like, I couldn't do it when I started high school because some kids from my middle school were also going to be in my new high school, and it would be suspicious if I suddenly changed what I looked like.

Plus, my dad was, although I don't think he is anymore, in a semi-stable job. I also, surprisingly or not, have a friend who I stayed in contact with over the summer (more on that later).

So really, now I hope you understand how my life is truly cursed.

That is all for today ladies and gents and others.

This is my second fanfic, so it really probably isn't the best, also if there are grammar/spelling mistakes, please tell me (I've always been bad at spelling for some reason).

Just so you know, I love doing gender benders, specifically from male to female, so that's why I did this. I just think it's fun to mix up character relationships with each other based on gender switching.

That's why, like how Teruhashi is a pretty girl, Kumiko is a cute girl. I thought just switching up Kusuo's gender wouldn't make much of a change, so I decided to make her cute, Teruhashi's equivalent to pretty.

I'm planning on having each little story in each episode (I'm basing this off the anime) one chapter.

IMPORTANT NOTE:

I don't have a pairings planned, so if you guys would like one I'm open for suggestions, I will most likely do the most requested one. Although, the only ones I wouldn't do it Kumiko/Kaido (there are enough Kusuo/Kiado pairings as it is) or Kumiko/Teruhashi (I have other plans for her)

All other pairings for any characters though I'm open for suggestion.

That's all have a nice rest of your day! Thank you for reading, and I hope you stick around!