Konosuba: A Tale of this Beautiful World

~Volume Two~

Prologue

My name is Satou Kazuma; I'm originally from Japan. I died and was revived in another world. Sent here by divine providence to defeat the Demon King, I somehow, succeeded. Along for the ride were my three female companions: a mostly useless goddess; a lusty—but brave crusader; and a leader-loving, explosion-crazy archmage. Together, we managed the impossible. More importantly, I managed the seemingly impossible task of finding some semblance of the peaceful and comfortable life I once wished for…or so I thought.

After defeating the Demon King, I was given the choice of returning to Japan or pursuing another impossible task; defeating not one Demon King or two, but three more and then—the even more gargantuan task—of defeating the then-revived Demon God. Seeking to challenge myself once more, I chose the more difficult task. To add to the difficulty, there was now the more complicated aspects of being the master of a powerful, but recently established house and all that brought with it…and there was also that thing of…well, being married.

I stared at the beautiful woman stood before us. Though she was indeed something to look at, her sapphire eyes exuded a different sentiment. They stared at me with contempt; as if I were a lesser being, a piece of trash, a…something.

"Lalatina-sama," She said turning to her; her jet-black hair whipped through the air as the singular thick braid it bore, swung wide. All traces of the malevolent stare she gave me was gone.

Darkness frowned. "Irene, I go by the name 'Darkness' in this household."

The maid quickly grew flustered. "F-Forgive me, Lala—D-Dark…ness…sama." She appeared to be having immense trouble adjusting.

Darkness sighed. "It's ok, Irene; you may call me by what you feel comfortable with."

"F-Forgive me," She retorted, desperately dropping to her knees and prostrating herself before Darkness.

"Oi, Darkness," I said in a mixture of confusion and annoyance, "what's going on here; I thought you said she was gonna be the maid of this house?"

"Irene, please get up," Darkness said, turning towards me afterwards. "Sorry, Kazuma; Irene has worked for my family for years. She left when she found out I was searching for a maid; as such…she's probably…"

"It looks like she's having some difficulty adjusting," Megumin noted.

Irene got up and stood proudly.

"I am Rosenthall Viira Irene; once a maid of the prestigious Dustiness household, I now offer my service to you. Please forgive my embarrassing display." She bowed her head once more, but her eyes narrowed as they made contact with my own.

"Oi, what's with that death stare she's giving me; I didn't do anything to her."

"Irene, let me introduce you," Darkness said with a smile. "This is Aqua, she's our archpriestess; this is Megumin, she's"—Darkness coughed slightly—"the lady of the house and our archmage; and this is—"

"Satou Kazuma, your master and head of this house," I answered, both firmly and proudly.

She remained silent, her eyes pelting me with a withering gaze.

"Oi—"

"May I be most suitable for your needs, Master," she said with an almost mockingly accurate curtsy. She then turned to Megumin and bowed deeply. "May I be of ample service to you, My Lady."

"…why do I get the feeling she's intentionally being disrespectful to me? Oi," I said, "what's up with you; why are you glaring at me?"

Irene's stoic demeanor remained, and then a moment later she smiled. "Satou-sama, I can assure you I've done no such thing; why would I bare hostility towards the master of the house?"

I frowned. "Is no one else seeing this?!"

Darkness looked at Irene, and then, me. "Kazuma, I think you're just unfamiliar with the stoic behavior servants usually have."

"Hey, Darkness, do I have to remind you, I stayed at the royal palace; I had servants tending to my every need for days on end, how the hell wouldn't I know?!"

"I don't think you needed to remind us," Megumin said, knitting her brow slightly.

"Kazuma, you wouldn't know servitude if it hit you in the face," Aqua added.

"Hey, why are you saying that?!" I retorted. "Anyways, she's obviously hostile to me for some reason; sorry, Darkness, I'm not hiring her," I said, turning away.

"Satou-sama, if you don't hire me, I'll have nowhere to go; I'll be forced to live in the stables," Irene said, her voice still stern despite the context of her message.

"And that concerns me why?"

"Kazuma," the other three replied in varying levels of disbelief and worry.

"Listen, me and Aqua have lived in the stables for months while we had to get adjusted; it's not—"

"Kazuma," Aqua said, glowering at me, "I can't believe you'd let a woman sleep in the stables; you're being a bigger scumbag than usual!"

"Oi, how is this—first of all, couldn't she just go back to Darkness' house?!"

All of us stared at Irene.

She shook her head. "My tenure in the Dustiness household is over; to return after willfully leaving would be incredibly distasteful; I'd rather be digested by an acidic slime than resort to doing something so unsightly."

Darkness spoke. "Though I understand your convictions, Irene, I'm sure my father would gladly—"

"Lalatina-sama, even if Lord Ignis would allow it, I cannot; simply put—"

"Simply put, you're too proud for it," I interjected.

Irene glanced at me with an expressionless face and then looked back at Darkness.

Darkness sighed heavily and then looked at me. "Kazuma, I can vouch for Irene's performance."

"Her performance isn't the concern here—it's her attitude!"

"We'll hire her," Megumin said.

"What, didn't I just—"

"Kazuma." Megumin stared at me with pleading eyes.

"…tch…fine." I crossed my arms, frowning at the decision. "But if she does anything blatantly disrespectful towards me, I don't care, she's out of here."

"Kazuma, she's—"

"Listen, if it was guy who came here and started giving you the stink eye, would you hesitate to throw them out?"

Megumin and Aqua looked away with slight guilt.

Darkness smiled at the thought. "Actually, Kazuma—"

"Shut up, Darkness, you don't count. But my point exactly." I turned towards Irene. "I'm a man who believes in true gender equality; you won't find any leeway with me, got it?"

Irene's face relaxed slightly. She bowed once more; this time showing slightly more subservience. "Understood…Satou-sama."

"Humph, good." I turned to Aqua. "You're still washing the clothes for today."

"Huh—but why?!"

"Because you should've had it done already!"

"I did—"

"Yeah, except mine."

"Ehhh, do I really have to clean your clothes…I'm getting sort of squeamish at the thought."

"Oi, you never used to get squeamish about washing my clothes; why all of a sudden, you do?"

Irene interrupted. "Aqua-sama, if it would please you, I can assume responsibility for the rest of the laundry."

"Hey, stop trying to get her to offload her responsibilities onto you."

"Satou-sama, my disdain for you aside"—I frantically looked to confirm everyone was hearing what I heard—"I find the rest of the household to be honorable and worthy of respect; the fact that Aqua-sama and Megumin-sama has shown me hospitality when you haven't is testament to how much of a disreputable piece of trash you are." She quickly turned to Darkness and bowed deeply. "Forgive me, Lalatina-sama, that you have to hear such vulgarity coming from me."

"Oi, was I only one that just heard what she said?!"

"I mean she isn't wrong," Aqua replied.

I glared at her and then turned to Irene. "If I'm such a big piece of trash unworthy of respect, then why don't you just find another household that is; get out!"

"Kazuma, she's staying," Megumin said.

I turned to her. "Oi, you do hear the things she's saying about me, right? You're usually the one to jump up and say something about this."

"I know…but I want her to stay—or barring that, we won't get any servants."

I looked at her perplexedly, and then crossed my arms. "I thought this was supposed to be my decision?"

"It is, it's ours."

I stared at Megumin, she stared back gently; I conceded.

Turning back to Irene, I sighed, saying, "Listen, I don't know what I did to deserve your undying hatred, but this is the only place I can get some peace; please…don't ruin that for me."

For the first time I saw Irene stare at me with anything other than distaste; her eyes briefly widened with surprise before returning to a stoic manner. "Forgive me, Satou-sama; I was wrong in my earlier assessment of you." I looked at her with a modicum of astonishment. "You're only a slightly disreputable piece of trash—"

"Oi."

"—but one worthy of my respect." Once more she bowed. "I am Rosenthall Viira Irene, if you would continue to have me, Satou-sama, I would be happy to serve this house."

I sighed deeply. "It's not really up to me though, is it?" I said, looking over at Megumin; she gave a cheeky smile. "Sure, now let's eat; breakfast is probably cold."