Note: Whoops. Blew past my deadline. As always, thank you.

II

When they pulled into the driveway Buck was stood at the end of it with a real angry look on his face. Mike hadn't even been able to get the keys from the ignition yet. Buck yanked the door open, and took Mike out from behind the wheel by the front of his shirt. Bella had the good sense to climb out on her own. He got in without a word, and pulled off. "Da-" Mike stood with his mouth half open, looking after his father. Sorry, kid, Bella had a sympathetic glance for him until he met her look with a sneer and took off steaming toward the house without a look back. She watched the truck fade into the distant skyline, and stood there long after it had disappeared. I don't care if I get sick, she thought as she inhaled the cold air and felt her lungs burn as she breathed back out into the world. Only when her cheeks had gone pink, half numb, and she was violently shivering did she follow Mike inside the house.

She made her way up the path trembling, with snowflakes melting in her hair. She stomped her sodden sneakers on the porch to try and knock the extra snow off before she reached for the doorknob. The air inside the house was stale with smoke, just for an instant Bella considered turning back the way she came. She crept through the house, sliding a bit in her wet sneakers. She found Mike and Sarah were sat at the table. They'd been in the middle of a conversation when Bella came in and killed it. Mike was red in the face next to his mother with an untouched plate of lasagna in front of him. Sarah was perched on her seat with her legs twisted up underneath her. When her cigarette came away from her lips it was slightly pink at the end. She dangled it over the ashtray she held in her lap as she looked at Bella through a cloud of smoke. "There's food in the kitchen," she said. "Thank you," Bella told her while she tried not to stare at the split of her lip or the fresh pink bruise that had flowered over the course of the morning, bloomed across the left side of her face. 'Jesus,' Bella thought as she walked past them into the kitchen.

She eyed the dirty dishes piled in the sink. Thankfully there was a stack of paper plates sat next to the pan on the stove. She grabbed one up, took a bendy plastic fork too. She used one hand to balance her unstable plate as she scooped lasagna out onto it. She found a cup in the cabinet that she rinsed twice before she filled it with water from the tap. By the time she joined Mike and Sarah at the table Mike had begun to stuff noodles into his mouth. She thanked Sarah again before she dug into her own meal. Sarah ate nothing but she sat at the table with them. She mostly smoked, occasionally she would look at one of them, ask about their day, then she'd get this look on her face, and stare off into space for a real long time before she'd remember herself enough to ask something else.

Mike let out a loud belch to announce the end of his meal as he tipped the final drops of soda from the can into his mouth. "Well," he wiped the back of his hand against his mouth and looked over to his mother. "I'm gonna go over to Cody's. I'll be back tonight," he went to give her a kiss on her good cheek. "Later," he mumbled at Bella as he walked past giving her a look she couldn't transcribe. Then there were two. Bella scooped a forkful into her mouth while Sarah lit up another cigarette. "Tomorrow.." she paused to take a long drag. "Tomorrow you will make sure to get up, and take the bus with Mike." Bella didn't say anything for a time. Now it's my fault, she thought, but all she said was "Yes, ma'am". Sarah didn't wait around to answer any of Bella's questions, or to ask Bella anything further about her day, she took her ashtray and her misguided anger to the living room, plopped it all down on the stained couch. Bella sat at the table for a while longer but she wasn't really hungry after that. She tried her best to be quiet as a mouse when she threw away her trash. She gulped down the rest of her water only to refill it before she walked past Sarah to the stairway. It's fine, she told herself as she went. Don't think about it. Doesn't matter if you don't think about it. She had to set her glass down to pull the stairs out from the ceiling. This morning she had taken care to leave the lights on, there were no shadows to be afraid of now. "Nnngh," she grunted. She wouldn't forget the stairs today, even if Mike wasn't here to yell at her for them.

She sat on her knees for a second to catch her breath as she looked around. The attic was prettier on second sight, especially after the circus of the day. Just me, only me. She got up and toed her sneakers off. She reached her hands down for the fasten of her jeans. She left them all strewn across the floor. I'll get them later. When I want to. The hot water felt nice against her chilled skin. She sat in the bath- washing and then just enjoying the feeling of being warm again. She didn't move until the water had grown cold and her fingers were soft, and pruny. When she stood water ran down her pale body like a stream taken root on her skin. She wrung out her dark curls with both hands, let her body air dry while she combed out the tangles with her fingers the best she could. Good as it gets, she thought as she tied her hair back out of her face. After she had dressed she found her notebook, untucked the homework she'd folded up in the back of it, and set to work.

She broke only once to check her phone. Science came easy enough, then she struggled through a page and a half of algebra equations, last she had to scrounge up a red pen to draw a trade route map for history. By the time she was done her fingertips were covered with ink, and her brain felt frazzled. She shoved her notebook, and her history book underneath the bed, then got up to stretch. Mmmm. As night overtook the day outside the air in the attic began to bite. Bella tugged her old Cardinals sweater over her head, and doubled up the blanket on the bed so it might feel thicker when she lay beneath it. She melded into that warmth, curling up on her side so she could bring her hands up under her mouth to catch the steam of her breath. She lay there trying to sleep but only succeeded in conjuring up images from her past.

She thought of all the faces she'd come to know in her lifetime- some she'd come to love in her own way. She saw the Flores' family in their yard with all of their bags packed, hugging her, and giving her kisses- she could still feel little Alfredo's jet black hair rubbing against her cheek when she leaned to kiss him. The Carelson's with their golden crosses about their necks, who said funny things like 'God bless you,' when her social worker had come to get her. Her mother was there too, stood to the side like she was in the picture. One hand on the swell of her stomach. Her smile was comforting and familiar...Bella let herself follow that feeling into sleep.

Boom. Boom.

"Bella!" The voice was distant but it still sliced through the fog in her mind. Thud. "Bellaaa!" It came, more agitated this time. She sat up, her heart beating fast. "Yeah?!" She called, her voice still scratchy from sleep. Mike sat the broom he'd been using to beat at the ceiling with aside, and called back to her. "Bus will be here in ten!" 'What?!' Bella scrambled around in a thick tangle of bedding for her phone. 5:46 am. She had to blink twice before she could read the numbers. 'Glad I took a bath last night,' she huffed and rolled out of the comfort of her bed. She didn't bother changing out of the sweatshirt she'd slept in, instead blindly grabbing for a fresh pair of panties, the jeans she wore the day before, and her sneakers. At least they dried, Bella pulled on the heel and hopped a bit until it slid on. She fumbled around in her bag until she found the case she'd laid her toothbrush in. She rubbed a stick of deodorant under her arms while she brushed her teeth, alternating hands, and running the bath so she could rinse her mouth. She pushed on the stairs until they lowered and dashed down trying to tame her hair with her fingers at the same time. "Well- mornin' sunshine," Mike mocked. "Thought I was gonna have to leave ya," he laughed as he opened the door. She closed it behind her and they raced up the street together.

A few street lamps illuminated their way, lighting them up as they jogged beneath them. The ground was slush underneath her sneakers, and the morning was cold. Colder than anything she'd experienced in Arizona. She had forgotten her jacket in her haste. It had done her wonders back home, but here it was nowhere near enough. Still, Bella missed it this morning. The chill had seeped into her bones when they stopped at the end of the block, her shoes soaked through again. Fuck, Bella rolled her eyes as she trudged behind Mike. "What's up, man?" He called to a boy who stood at the stop, head bowed over his phone until Mike hollered at him. They got to talking. Bella stood awkwardly behind them trying not to shiver. I look stupid. More kids began to join them, a colorful sea of heavy coats, and scarves gathered on the street corner.

'So cold,' she nearly bit into her tongue trying not to chatter, her arms wound about her waist in a hug. She didn't think about it until she saw the flashing lights of the school bus flick on as it rumbled down the street. 'My homework,' She froze. 'My textbook!' She looked helplessly back the way they'd came. She knew there was nothing to be done now. The squealing of tires pierced the quiet morning air, everyone gathered around the doors. Bella was last to climb on the bus. She found an empty seat near the middle and fell in cursing herself the whole ride.

Like the day before Mike abandoned her, only this time he hadn't bothered to say a word as they got off the bus. He laughed, and shoved a friend as they walked into the front doors. Bella didn't mind. She followed after them, breaking away in the breakfast line. Fruit, a sausage rolled in pancake, with some sugar free syrup on the side, and a small carton of juice to wash it all down. There was an empty spot at a table by the kitchens, a few kids sat higher up it. She could hear them throwing jokes about as she sat down. She looked around. This school wasn't crowded like her previous ones had been, when they were all gathered up like this though..Bella realized exactly how many of them there were. All of them you don't know, she cracked open her juice. "You're new." A light voice came from over her shoulder tinkling like a bell. A glance back revealed a tall Asian girl, with long black hair dark as ink, light tan skin, and a kind smile on her face. "How'd you guess?" She smiled back around a mouthful of pancake. "Well.." she smirked, gesturing with her head to the empty seat across from her, and Bella nodded, motioning her forward. "Thanks," she smiled as she slid her tray onto the table. "I'm sure you've heard but we don't get many new kids around here. I'm Angela," she reached a hand across their trays. Bella took it. "Bella. Yeah, I figured. Did you grow up here?" She ripped a piece of sausage off to toss in her mouth. "Raised, not born, I was born in Anchorage. How about you? Where you from?" "Arizona," she said, continuing at Angela's look. "Phoenix." "Daaaaaamn, girl," Angela laughed around a mouthful of food. "I know you're hatin' it right now then. Been snowing all week." "You have no idea," Bella said.

They chatted through breakfast, parting company on the condition they'd meet up around lunch. Bella couldn't have been more grateful if she was honest with herself. It wasn't that she minded solitude, having another person to share it all with just seemed to make it easier. She went to her locker first, found a few books she'd left at the school, and a few pieces of scrap paper. No homework though. Already not prepared, way to go, she closed her locker with a little slam. She took off down the hallway to English in mixed spirits. Mostly, it went fine. When the homework had come up many of her instructors let it slide- gave her until tomorrow. Some of her classmates had the same excuses on their lips, so she didn't feel as bad.

"Hey," she looked over at him when they were set to work on their lab in Science. He sat hunched over, nearly bending away from her. He didn't even look at her. Why me? "Yeah I think all the instructions..I think she explains.." Bella gave up and went to gather the materials, when she came back she laid everything out and prepared to do everything alone. "Here- not- not like that," he stood up and reached for a tube. Bella let him have it. "Okay," she gave a little smile. "Show me, then." He did, and by the end he was talking, still skittish, but he was talking to her. When the bell rang, she felt happy, nearly on a high. She was having a good day. "Hola," Señor Ramos," she greeted with a smile. "Buneas tardes, Bella," he chuckled as she came in. They talked a minute as the class filled in, then she took her seat. She was partnered up with a light haired girl named Jessica to practice words with. Jessica stumbled a little, but she was actually quite good. She told Bella some surface information about her hobbies, friends, Bella did the same.

When the bell rang she took a second to bid Señor Ramos goodbye, she ended up chatting well past the second tone. She hurried off to the cafeteria down empty corridors. She was walking down the second floor hall towards the stairs when she felt it. A strange feeling. One she couldn't place. It stopped her in her tracks, she looked behind her. All she saw was an empty hallway. She couldn't shake it though, it settled deep in the pit of her stomach, raising goosebumps on her skin.

She was glad to hear the loud roar of her class coming from the double doors a few feet ahead. She came in, walked past everyone, up to the empty queue. The cook looked like she was about to wrap up, but she gave her a hotdog, fries, and milk. Angela sat at the table they'd ate at earlier, and she gave her a warm smile when she saw her coming. "Hey," Angela greeted when she sat down across from her. "Hey," Bella breathed, still trying to shake her sense of unease. Angela helped her. They exchanged a few laughs, talked about classes, too soon the bell was ringing. "Wait up," Angela grabbed her arm on their way out. "You wanna go into town after school? We could check out the shops.." she shrugged. "I'd drop you home after," she walked backwards as she spoke, looking for her answer. I'd be spared a long bus ride, she thought. I like Angela...be nice to see the town too. Bella could see no reason to say no, so she didn't. "Yeah, I'd like that." "Great! Meet you by the gym after," Angela said, turning and walking in the opposite direction.

Bella had walked most of the way there when trouble announced itself. "There she is," Mike laughed when he saw her. She didn't like the sound of it. "My new sister," he announced to his friend, who trailed behind him looking more interested in his phone than Bella. "Hey," she waved and tried to walk on but he was there- in her way. "'Scuse me," she said as she tried to step around but he wouldn't let her, pushing one of his hands against her chest. She wanted to rub at the spot but she didn't. "You having a good day, hm?" He asked mockingly. "Don't you look at me like that, no, no," he reached a hand out to stroke her cheek but she knocked it away. "Oooh," Mike said, smiling his nasty smile. "Got some bite." People we're walking past now, into class, some sneaking a glance at their scene. Mike's friend had taken off down the hall. The bell would be ringing soon. She tried to get past again. "C'mon Mike," her voice cracked a little, and she cursed herself for it. Don't cry. "Just let me through, please."

"Michael," the air went still. Mike looked at her with a stricken face. Then he turned around, real slow to face the voice. "What are you doing?" It was calm, floating smoothly across the space between them. Ms. Denali stood by the door, standing just outside of the frame. "N-Nothing, Ms. Denali, we- we got caught up talking," he stammered. He gave her a look that told her she'd better not say anything. "Sorry," he finished. Ms. Denali stalked closer, long strides in her heeled boots. She barely came up to Mike's shoulder but he was the one looking small somehow. "Nothing?" She asked, stopping in front of them. "Yes," he said, his voice sounding tight, like the word hadn't wanted to come out. He nodded up and down furiously to enhance the truth of his answer. "I will never catch you doing 'nothing' again, Michael." Ms. Denali gave him a long, hard look, then she stepped back a single space to let him slip between her body and the lockers. She saw his jaw tense but he was quiet. He awkwardly squeezed past, shuffling off into the classroom.

She turned her head to look at Bella then. "Ms. Swan.." Bella thought her heart might freeze. "I think it best if you would find your seat." She stood aside, a wider space than she'd given Mike, her hands clasped behind her back. Bella tried to make her legs work, they still wobbled though. She paused to take a breath, and close her eyes. Breathe, she told herself. You're fine. Don't cry. You're fine. Don't cry. She felt the air move around her, a little swoosh, carrying the scent of winter, like pine, and warm maple syrup. She started when she opened her eyes. Ms. Denali had moved. She stood right in front of her now. She stood a little over Bella's head, but not by much. When she moved in, Bella felt a tickle against her throat. Her hair brushed over her skin, so pale..like moonlight, like silver, Bella thought. When did we get so close? She tried to step back, but then she was hitting the lockers, a lock pressing against her spine. Her eyes were the most curious thing, that strange shade of gold, seeming to get darker and darker the longer they stood there. "Come along, child," a soft sound as she reached a pale hand to help guide her. Her touch was so light Bella thought she could have been imagining it was there at all. "Go on, then," a murmur at Bella's side. She did as she was bid, finding her seat near the window.

Mike did not bother her when she walked past, he did not even look at her. Neither did his friends that sat around him. Like the day before the classroom fell silent around Ms. Denali's voice. She spoke so calmly Bella could have fallen asleep as the older woman strolled about at the front of the room. She wrote vocabulary on the board. "Get out your assignments from yesterday, and your books. Page 490, if you please," she said it as soft as everything else but it jerked Bella from her lull sharply. Shit, she thought. Everyone around her began to flip open their books, dig for homework, and Bella was left sat there with nothing. The class began to settle, she was the only one who stood out. She could hear the sound of her heels against the tile, she stopped just behind Bella. "No book," she slid a replacement onto the desk. "No homework." One thigh came into view, wrapped in dark charcoal slacks. "See me after." "Yes, ma'am," Bella whispered, her breath caught in her throat. "490," was the only answer she received.

She sat with tense shoulders the rest of the hour. Mike never turned to look at her, not even once. Should I tell him I'm riding with Angela? She thought about it. She probably should, but she didn't really want to see him look at her all screwed up in the face again. "You are dismissed," the words jerked her out of her thoughts, she snapped the borrowed book closed more out of surprise than recognition. She took her time to gather her things. Mike was one of the first students out of the door, she didn't bother trying to catch up with him. She could almost feel everyone else exiting the room, felt like it was growing smaller and smaller. "Come here." It came from behind her, the very back of the room. She made her feet go towards the other woman, seated at her dark cherry desk, her chin resting in one hand as she watched Bella. "You were unprepared. It is only your second day. Why is that, Ms. Swan?" Ms. Denali asked, not looking cruel or kidding, just still.

"I'm sorry- I- I'm usually not.." she began to stammer. Ms. Denali leaned back in her chair, her hands coming to rest on her abdomen. Her pale skin clashing with the deep brown shade of her blouse. "That is not what I asked you," a little lilt peaking out at the end. "I wish to know why.." She held her hand out for Bella to step forward. She didn't want to but her body moved anyway. "I was late this morning, I was..in a - in a rush, that's all. I'm really sorry," Bella bit her lip. "I uhm- understand if I get a zero, or..whatever," she quieted when she saw the way Ms. Denali was looking at her. Like she could eat me, Bella thought, then shook it away. You're being stupid. "I expect this to not become a reoccurring theme, Ms. Swan," she leaned up again, settling her elbows against her desk. "The next time there will be punishment," she said, Bella knew it was not a jest. "Yes, ma'am," she said, wincing when she tasted blood on her tongue. She'd sunk her teeth into her lip too hard. It filled her mouth with a metallic aftertaste that made her grimace.

A low noise filled the air, like a growl, but deeper than any she'd ever heard. Bella turned her head confused- looking for an animal. Ms. Denali shot up from her seat suddenly, drawing her attention back. She had both hands clenched into fists, slammed into her desk. Bella jumped at the noise. Her head was bowed, Bella couldn't see her face, she heard her though. "You are dismissed." The words sounded like they'd hurt. Gone were the smooth, calm tones she'd nearly fallen asleep to, a rough horrid sound came out. Did I do something wrong? She ought to be grateful she was being let off the hook. Just go, the smarter half of her brain urged her.

With Ms. Denali looking to be in such pain, Bella found she couldn't. That odd sensation from earlier was back in full force, fluttering around inside her belly. "Are you alright?" She took a single step closer. "Foolish child," her head snapped up. Bella sucked in a breath through her teeth. Her eyes had gone all dark, this time there was no hint of gold left in them. An empty void stared back at her, the veins below her eyes were beginning to spread out in a deep violet hue. "Get out!" She barked. Bella scrambled backwards knocking into a desk. She went to the ground, scrabbling up as soon as she'd landed, back to her feet, out the open door. She ran down the hall, not turning to look back once.

"That's Jenny's parents store," Angela gestured as best she could while she was driving. "They have good deals if you need like.. pharmacy shit..but they play no games, so don't even try anything," she laughed. "Been there. Done that." Bella laughed with her, it felt good to laugh after what had just happened. What had happened? She still wasn't sure. She was sure she didn't want to think about it now. "You hungry?" Angela asked, thankfully taking her out of her own head. "We could always stop at the diner before we look for clothes, I could go for a burger, and a peanut butter shake sounds like the move," she looked over. "Yeah, it does," Bella agreed.

They found a spot in the lot, and made their way inside in a fit of giggles and smiles. "Two shakes," they asked for at the end, their meal filled with a pinch of gossip, a lot of idle talk. Angela showed her a picture of her brother, then quickly began to look for another. Bella had no pictures of her own to show, but she enjoyed it all. Even the shopping. Her belly was full, and a little bloated as she tried on a pair of jeans. She bought the jeans. Angela seemed to like to try things on forever, but she didn't buy most of them. There were only a couple of stores, a few small name clothing outlets in a little mall. Most of it was sporting gear, and nature tourism guides. She found a pair of boots in one of the former shops, she was grateful for that. "Where do you live?" Angela asked when they were settled in the car. Bella realized that she didn't know. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. She thanked her lucky stars, the first time for Dave. He'd emailed her information, address was right in the middle. "413 Wallace Highway," she said, unsure. Angela seemed to know what she was talking about though. "Buckle up, chick-a, chick," she sang as she reversed. "Aye, aye captain," Bella laughed as she reached for her seat belt.

It had begun to get dark as they rode back. They drove with the radio playing, the sound of the tires hitting the pavement just beneath the music. Angela had to turn the head lights on when they hit the back roads. The going was slow, the roads were slick, but that was fine with her. "Who do you live with?" Angela asked. The dreaded question. "Do you know Mike- from school?" Angela nodded her head, frowning a little as she kept her eyes on the road. "I'm staying with them, I'm in the foster program." "Oh- oh," Angela blinked, processing. "That's cool. Mike- yeah- Mike.." "Mike's an ass," she muttered as she looked out the window. Angela hesitated a long minute, until Bella felt the silence in the air, and looked over at her. "Yeah," she agreed. "He is." Bella didn't ask.

The front door was unlocked when she tried it. She looked back to give Angela a little wave before she went inside. She was getting used to the smoke smell, she didn't choke up nearly as bad this time. The living room was dark, and empty. The television was off. Kitchen was the same way. She went to creep up the stairs when she remembered she had drank all of her water upstairs. She tip-toed to the kitchen, and filled a glass, taking a couple gulps so she didn't spill it on the stairs. It's okay, she told herself as she climbed up into the shadows. She was pulling the stairs down when the light flicked on.

"Fuck're you doin coming in so late?" He asked, bare chested, and radiating ire from down the hallway. "Oh- uh- I'm sorry- my friend dropped me off-" she stumbled over her words, struggling to say them in order. "Friend? It's your first day. Hell you mean friend?" She didn't bother with saying it was actually her second. "Who? A boy ain't no friend." "No, Sir," she whispered. "A girl. Angela." "Martin?" He didn't stop to give her time to answer. "Don't you cause no trouble, do you hear? I won't have it." She nodded. "Get," he jerked his head up. She finished pulling the stairs down as he walked past into the bathroom. She got. She didn't stop because it was dark. She didn't care. Not at all. She collapsed at the top of the steps, pulling them back into the ceiling as quick as she could.

She rocked herself back and forth for a while, just there, taking in big gulps of air between sobs. She thought about everything that had happened today. Am I crazy? Do crazy people know they're crazy? After a while she pulled herself together and went to get ready for bed. That night she only let herself think of sheep while she lay there. One..two..three..four...