Note: This story was originally intended to be a one-shot. If you like what you read last chapter and feel satisfied the way it is, continue to see it that way. However, due to a combination of my own stubborn muse and the outcry of most of my comments, I'll be adding to this and expanding it into a full-blown fic. I'll be completely honest, I don't have the whole thing outlined yet, so updates might be slower than my usual speed. But if you stick with me, I promise a satisfying story with a happily-ever-after.

CHAPTER TWO:

afterburn

.I.I.

They'd done something holy.

Kylo was pretty sure.

It least, it felt that way at first, lying there on his back staring up at the familiar grid of his ceiling. He'd stared at that same grid a hundred times before, blankly taking in those lines when sleep eluded him, adrift in the numb void of his insides. He hated trying to sleep. He didn't sleep much, or often. It felt like death, not rest, and he hadn't experienced a single moment that even resembled relaxing since...

Well, he couldn't remember.

It felt so strange now to be relaxed. To be utterly at rest. The soft, steady cadence of the breathing beside him lulled him into a place he'd never been before. A place where he didn't think about anything at all except the girl in his arm, tucked into his side, arm thrown over his chest like she was afraid he'd vanish. His mind was occupied solely with the way she fit so neatly, cradled in against him. Like she was made exactly for him. He'd always felt wrong in life. Like he didn't belong. Like he was too weak, or too angry, or too big. Too much.

But with her, he felt right.

There were things flickering at the edges of his awareness, whispers of memories he didn't have, memories of things that hadn't happened. He could brush against her mind — she wouldn't even feel it, he knew, she was wide open to him, concealing nothing. He could see what it is she remembered about him from her timeline. But he dared not. Some instinctive fear told him too much knowledge would be dangerous.

So he didn't try to unriddle any of it. He drowned in the certainty that he'd been waiting for this intimacy, this love, and her, for a very long time. All his life, maybe. And this thing that had happened, whatever it was, had been the culmination of some great cosmic struggle.

It was peaceful like this.

Balance, he thought.

They fell out of time. It slowed and dissolved and ceased to exist altogether. Kylo had no idea how long they lingered there after their desperate coupling. He had no idea how long he listened to her doze. He only knew that the strange, fluid feeling of the Force around them gave him the distinct impression that he existed in two halves. Himself, belonging in the here and now, and another version of himself which she had brought with her from wherever she came. But in the same certainty that he was two, he knew also that he was whole in a way he hadn't been in a long time. Like this moment right here, like she, was the answer to every question he'd never thought to ask.

But it couldn't last.

At some point, the heat began to cool and a chill crept in. Something within him, and he suspected within her too, felt the cold seeping into the edges of the world, like light slowly being nursed away. Shadows stretched into the absence. With them, the gradual waning of what felt sacred, replaced instead by unwelcome awareness. Bladed, razor-sharp lucidity.

Rey's breathing had changed, but he couldn't have said when. Her finger tapped his chest.

"I have to go," she whispered.

A flash of instinct overrode years of discipline and training and his arm around her tightened and clutched her to him like a boy afraid to lose his comfort object. But it was only an instant and then he forced himself to let go. She leaned up and pressed a surprising kiss to his cheek.

"I promise I'm not leaving you. I just have to go deal with the others." Kylo was grateful for how she skirted around the topic carefully. He didn't want the reminder of who was coming for her.

Even you, Snoke had purred, have never faced such a test.

Perhaps the Force was kind to him, for once. Perhaps it had sent her so he wouldn't have to face it. If this strange vixen were to be believed, she'd dispatch them for him and he'd be spared the grisly choice. But then again, wishing for a way out was weakness. And Kylo hated any shred of weakness in himself.

He'd insist on coming with her. He had to prove to himself and Snoke that nothing stood in his way — that his devotion to the darkside, and to their mission, was absolute.

"I—" he started to say, but suddenly she was gone from his side, lightly crossing the room. Her absence startled him into silence.

"How can I move about this base freely?" she asked, chasing after every piece of haphazardly discarded clothing. "I don't want anyone stopping me."

Kylo assessed the pieces of her outfit as she gathered them. "You can't do it in those."

It occurred to him with a physical stab of horror, a sharp fracture of practicality, that he was making a ridiculous gamble here. He should just yank everything out of her mind and find the truth, because this could be a highly effective way for the Resistance to get someone on the inside. To get someone in there who could roam around as she pleased, gathering information and making all kinds of trouble. She could very easily be their agent, and Kylo could have just fallen for a soft, seductive trap.

It would be a highly unusual method to neutralize him, admittedly, but he'd demonstrated well enough that there was a flaw in his design. A weakness, as it were, that made him hungrily chase a modicum of belonging and attention. He didn't like that. Just the idea of it, that anyone could so easily strip him down to his most humiliating essence, made him seethe.

Now that the fires of his libido had gone out, his rational side was flaring back to vengeful life, and he was increasingly frustrated with how this encounter had gone. He'd not kept his cool at all. He'd not protected himself against the wiles of an unknown enemy, but thrown himself headlong into them. And for what? To feel wanted? Because he knew better. He wasn't wanted. Nobody ever wanted him, and she didn't really either — she'd been sent here by an enemy, maybe by her, who knew this one unshakeable flaw in him. He shouldn't have slept with her. He'd gambled everything. And Kylo Ren did not gamble. He wasn't his father.

"Hello," Rey said, laughing and tapping lightly on his forehead. "Rey to Ben. Come in, Ben. Where did you go? Why the look of murder on your face?"

He blinked. When had she come back to his side? And what had he just been thinking about? It felt like a little puff of air had snuffed out a growing bonfire in his chest. He stared at her and tried to figure out what she'd been saying when his thoughts started to spiral.

"I asked if I could borrow one of your many, many cowls," she said, angling her head to the side a little as she considered him. Her teasing smile faltered, fell, and became something genuinely concerned. "Are you okay?"

It was so strange, the effect she had on him. Staring into her lovely face, those wide hazel eyes so warm and welcoming, that scattering of faint freckles he'd tried to memorize while she dozed — he couldn't remember his anger. Only profound trust and longing. That odd epiphany which came to him in that breathless, post-coital haze still lingered, like an undercurrent between himself and this mysterious girl who came with her unlived memories. He loved her. And he really, really needed to be loved by her in return. Even though he didn't know her at all.

It felt good. And it felt very, very uncomfortable.

"I haven't decided yet," he said finally. "This is...weird."

Her hand lifted, fingers playing through his hair, teasing it back into place from where it had surely been mussed. "It's weird for me too," she admitted. "You and I weren't...we weren't this close before. I mean, emotionally yes. But we didn't get a chance to have an after. I'm sorry if I'm moving a little too fast for you. It's easy to forget you're not my Ben."

He didn't like that either. He was hers, even if he didn't know what that meant exactly. He wanted her to think of him as hers.

Maybe she sensed this, because she smiled a small, almost sad little smile and leaned in to kiss his lips in a quick, reassuring brush of her mouth. "We'll figure it out."

She stepped back and resumed getting dressed, and he watched her smooth, pure skin vanish with each new layer she wriggled into. Her body was toned and strong, not reedy and malnourished the way he'd expected the scavenger from Jakku to look. Someone had hurt her, too. Her skin bore scars which he had dutifully mapped with exploring fingers during the quiet that settled over them after he finally rolled to his side and took her in his arms. This woman had certainly seen battles.

He stood now, letting his fingertips glide up her arms — the only part of her still bared to him now — and trace lightly over the most peculiar scar she had. On her upper arm, not quite to her shoulder. Two arcs reaching for one another.

"Where did you get this one?" he asked softly.

Her eyes studied his face, assessing for something he couldn't guess at without intruding into her thoughts. He didn't feel her probing into his either. He almost wished she would. It felt good when they were connected like that.

But before she could decide on her answer, a proximity alert chimed into the room, announcing someone approaching the door to his chambers.

Kylo's mouth compressed into a tight line and he stepped away from her, gathering his own clothes to dress as quickly as he could. He was only halfway when the knock came, so he threw his cloak over himself and went to the door. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Rey sneak off into his closet and hide there.

One of Hux's cringing underlings flinched when the door slid open. The purple bruising climbing up his neck from beneath his crisp collar told Kylo this was the same cringing underling whose throat he'd squeezed not long before, in his wrath over the escaped droid, in his frustration over the introduction of another mysterious character — a girl. What was his name, again? Mitaka something or other?

He said nothing, letting the murderous irritation he still felt towards this sallow, flinching face manifest plainly on his unmasked features.

"S-Sir," Mitaka stammered, his voice raw, visible sweat collecting on his brow. "S-Supreme Leader deman—demands an audience."

Of course he did.

Kylo gave the briefest, coldest of nods before he flicked his fingers and sent the door sliding shut again, cutting the terrified man out of his sight. He turned to finish dressing, his thoughts taking a dark turn again. Things were different than they were the last time he'd spoken to his master. They were...complicated now. He needed to assess where his loyalties lie.

Rey emerged from the closet. "Do I look like I belong here yet?"

Kylo, mired in thought and busy trying to arrange his layers just right, flicked her a distracted glance. But his attention caught and both his mind and expression went blank.

She'd found one of his black long-sleeved undershirts and put it on, using her charcoal gray swaths of wrapped fabric to secure it to herself so that the enormity of it was contained. It didn't look like it drowned her at all, but flattered her. She'd shrugged on one of his cloaks too, like she said. It was one of his shorter ones, which suited her better. She looked appropriate fearsome. When she drew the cowl up over her head, shadowing half her face, Kylo shuddered with desire.

If he hadn't already let himself get drawn into her seductive influence, this would have done the job of finishing him.

"Yes," he decided firmly. "You do. I don't imagine you'll get many questions. At least not from the lower ranks."

She grinned. His ears grew hot and he turned away quickly to finish his task.

Loyalties.

With her looking like that, Snoke was losing. He'd already told her they'd kill him together, but that was in the delirium of the afterglow. Did he really mean it? Could he actually do it? He didn't think so. He was on board for Snoke's plan. He'd spent years of his life on this path. But Kylo could feel his devotion to his master bending. It wasn't that flexible to begin with. He wondered how much more of Rey it could take before it snapped.

"I have to report to the Supreme Leader," he informed her.

"And I'll deal with the intruders. When we're done, we'll find each other and get the kriff off this base."

Another ripple of unease moved through him and he gave her a cautious look. "Why?"

"We can't stay here."

"Why?"

"We have things to do. People to kill. Others to save."

"A galaxy to rule," he said coolly, observing her reaction. Had she meant it when she said she'd rule by his side? Or were those only the words she knew he wanted to hear?

She came over and knocked his fingers away from their task, fastening his cloak to his shoulders herself. "If that's what you want, yes."

"Is that what you want?"

"I want to be with you," she said.

That didn't make any sense. Kylo still didn't understand it. He wondered if he ever would. "And where do you intend for us to go when we leave here?"

"Just away. We'll figure it out later."

He turned to the mirror, checking himself carefully and from a few different angles to make sure everything was exactly, precisely right. Because nothing felt the same now. It was like his very skin had changed, and if he walked out of this room, somehow everyone would know that he'd been compromised. That he'd been between the legs of an enemy of war and had confessed devastating words of attachment to her — sentiments he had no business expressing or even feeling because they couldn't possibly be true after knowing her less than a day.

Somehow, they would look at him and see a hair out of place or glimpse beneath his many layers of clothing to witness the marks she'd sucked into his skin like brands of indictment.

Traitor, each mark said.

Was he a traitor? Something had happened here that he didn't understand, but it wasn't as if he'd given up their mission and purpose. It wasn't as if he'd gone running back home. Maybe he was questioning his loyalty to his master a little bit, because now he had a seed of mutiny in his heart that wasn't there before, but it was only because he'd found someone worthy to reign by his side. Someone who could help him achieve his greatest potential. He'd take the galaxy to a more prosperous place. Together they'd wield all power, and no Sith or Jedi could challenge them.

He wasn't a traitor to the cause. He was the savior of it.

...right?

Kriff. If he was wrong and Rey was a ploy, it was working so well. He was questioning everything.

Rey sensed his undercurrent of unease and grabbed him, pulling him down roughly. "Ben."

She said it so forcefully, it made him shiver. He swallowed and issued a half-hearted protest. "I shouldn't have ever let you call me that. That isn't who I am."

"Shut up," she growled. "I know all of this is too fast for you. I'm sorry. You need more time to adjust. You need time to figure me out. But listen to me now. I am not here for the Resistance. I am here to be with you. Only you. I won't sacrifice you for anything — not even for them. And I won't let you sacrifice yourself for me. We're staying together, because I love you, and you love me, and we're a dyad. Got it?"

Kylo stared into her bright hazel eyes, into the breathtaking swirl of darkness and light that lived in her. Malice and compassion. Possessiveness and selflessness. Such a contradiction she was. Such a beautiful contradiction.

"Got it," he whispered as she leaned up on her toes and caught her lips in his — tenderly, so tenderly.

It threatened to unravel him all over again. His hands came to wrap around her torso of their own accord, sliding to her waist, drawing her into him. Kissing her was like nothing he'd ever learned how to deal with. The Force blazed into blinding light in his head, burning away every ambition and hunger that had been born in the dark. He felt full of purpose and hope. One hand lifted to the back of her neck, wrapping around it gently, holding her so he could chase this urgent, desperate feeling rising inside him.

I can't lose her.

It was a dangerous thought. One that threatened to consume him.

A moment later, they were parted. She went her way, and he went his.

Kylo felt strange, striding down the hallway with his usual long, determined gait. His body was unrecognizable. Loose limbs and soft sinews, like his muscles had ben drained of their power. The perpetual burning in his chest, of hurt and hate, was banked. He felt strangely empty without it.

Like he'd drained all his potency and virility into her.

He was jelly instead of steel.

This lethargy of his body made the reality of what transpired trickle into his awareness What the hell had he done? And since it couldn't be undone, how did he move forward?

Shoving down these thoughts, he drew upon all the discipline his cruel training had afforded and steeled himself once more. He was Kylo Ren, dammit, not some weak simpering fool. Not some lovestruck puppy. Not some easily seduced pawn.

There had been a girl in his bed. A girl who had found her way through time to come to him, to be with him, and she was every bit as strong and fierce as he could have wished for in a partner. His soul knew her. Somehow. He felt the undeniable connection. And she was the first person since he was a child to look on him with kindness and love.

He would use every facet of his strength, both Force and physical, to protect her.

No one would take her away from him. Especially not Snoke.

With this resolve he found himself standing with a stiff, straight spine before the enormous hologram of the Supreme Leader, carefully focusing on this iron determination, on the heat of possessiveness, on the memory of the passion, which emotion ran so hot and so close to hate that it would disguise the softer feelings he had for her quite nicely. He filled his heart with these and nothing else. He did not think about her beauty, or her body, or how his heart raced when she drew in close. He did not think about her prophecy that he would become his own master.

He only thought about possession.

Because that was a lot like hate. And Snoke was used to feeling the hate in him. He wouldn't think anything amiss.

"Where have you been?" the Supreme Leader demanded, a sneer curling his marred and twisted face. "I was informed that you ordered a retreat as soon as the Resistance fighters arrived. Have you grown so cowardly, my young apprentice? Are you so fearful of seeing your father? I did not expect such weakness from you."

Kylo bristled, real fury stoked to life in him now. "I'm not afraid, Supreme Leader. I uncovered an asset more valuable than the droid or its map."

Snoke's eyes narrowed. The hologram flickered. "Tell me."

Carefully now. He could feel his master's presence sifting through his own mind, searching for information.

His words came out with more difficulty than he wanted. "A daughter of the Sith. She knows the way to Skywalker."

If his master had any reason to think Kylo was hiding something from him, he wouldn't just paw through his mind with these curious flicks. He'd smash through every defense and take everything he found. So Kylo made sure to give him just enough to satisfy his probing. He let Snoke find Rey in his thoughts. Let him see her as Kylo had last seen her — swathed in dark robes, hood drawn, sharp face cut in shadow.

Snoke's wispy, malformed eyebrows rose with intrigue. "Well! This is most unexpected. Perhaps she is the source of the awakening."

"That was my suspicion as well, Supreme Leader. She is strong with the Force, and well-trained."

"Strange that we have not felt her before, then. Stranger still that she should claim to hail from the Sith. The Sith are extinct."

Kylo lifted his chin. "Her mind is well-guarded, but I was able to penetrate her nevertheless. I detected no artifice. I do not believe she is an agent of the Resistance."

"We shall see," Snoke purred ominously.

The door at the other end opened and Armitage Hux came striding in, chin held high, step crisp. Kylo's skin crawled with instant loathing.

"General," Snoke said expectantly.

Hux threw Kylo a brief, contemptuous glare and then looked up at the hologram. "Supreme Leader, despite Ren's premature retreat, and the loss of the droid, we have managed to tracked their reconnaissance ships to the Ileenium System and have already begun preparing the weapon, on your order."

Kylo schooled his features into impassivity, but he could have choked the life out of Hux for trying to provoke Snoke's scorn and for reminding Kylo, with some shame, that he'd abruptly abandoned his objective the minute a girl showed up and kissed him.

Snoke didn't look at him at all. The booming projection of his layered voice said calmly, "We must destroy them before they can get to Skywalker."

"Supreme Leader, if we target their base, we will lose the map," Hux observed. Kylo knew the general didn't care one flying fart in space about getting to Skywalker, but he was wise to keep his Supreme Leader's mission in mind.

Snoke didn't blink. "We will crush them once and for all. Fire when ready, General."

Hux issued a sharp, practiced bow and turned sharply on his heel, giving Kylo a little gloating smirk as he left. How he hated that sniveling Empirical bastard.

"Supreme Leader, we don't need the droid," Kylo said when Hux was gone. He heard himself trying to salvage his master's approval. "I can get the girl to lead us to Skywalker."

Snoke lifted a dismissive hand. "I will interrogate the girl myself to determine the truth of her, and whether or not she indeed knows the way. Whatever her training, it can be no match for me.

Rey's words flitted briefly through Kylo's memory. He tortures me. Rapes my mind.

He could almost hear her scream.

Kylo banished these thoughts even as they scarcely began to materialize. He couldn't afford them right not. He could not let his blood boil with rage. He wasn't fire now. He was ice. Unfeeling, unaffected.

But maybe something got through because Snoke peered at him with a shrewd look. "I see your mind, my young apprentice. You have compassion for her."

"I don't," Kylo denied immediately. "But if she is not false, Supreme Leader, she might be a valuable ally. I don't see a reason to—"

"Enough," Snoke barked. His deep voice resonated around the vast chamber again and again. "I will determine whether she is false or not. Bring her to me."

With that, his hologram faded. Silence and emptiness replaced it, falling like lead onto Kylo's shoulders, shacking him with the weight of those orders.