so i had friends tell me to write this many months ago and i just recently finished it so i figured EY ill post it for the day before valentine's day. by no means am i a trans person and there was plenty more research i could have done but i figured that it was ok for now. I actually had a lot more planned for this but since i was getting tired, i decided to stop it where it was. HOWEVER! if anyone wants to see a continuation of it, lemme know and ill probably write it. the next part would deal with the heaviness of being a trans woman in Japan so it'll be a lot more angsty with gender and sexuality in a more cultural context. again, if people want to see it, then ill write it, if not, then i think its ok as a one shot.

pls be nice to me mkay, im an ignorant fool who tries mkay

When Makoto visited Kamurocho all those years after the incident with the empty lot, the only expectations she had were to say her blessings to her brother and give small greetings to her brother's friend, Kazuma Kiryu. There was the hope that she would meet her savior again but that's all it was, just fleeting hope.

What ended up happening was that, not only did she manage to complete all of the above but she ended up meeting her savior and gaining a girlfriend in the process.

Ok, it sounded a bit crazy but it wasn't really in hindsight. A conversation with Kiryu webbed into meeting a dashing lady named Goromi who tried to run away from Makoto until she cornered her in and demanded answers. Turns out that Goromi was her savior, though that's not how she went by when it all happened. Her name was Goro Majima, the lord of the night in Sotenbori. At the time, he controlled the nightlife scene and stomped out any competition with just a blink of an eye. He was dashing and handsome and his voice made one's heart melt into butter.

"So if everything was going just so well, then why did you want to change?" She asked Goromi, only curiosity in her voice.

"Well, when yer around all those pretty girls with makeup, you gotta learn the trade," She replied back, her gruff voice low and sad. "But just cause I knew how to do it there doesn't mean I ever did it on myself." Her eyes swooped down to her dress and polished fingers dug into the fishnets. "So I tried it all on and it fit so well. I ain't one for that mushy, self awareness crap but it felt nice to wear it. And Goromi was a good mix of my name so I went with it. Can't say I've always been the happiest person out there but this feels better than wearing that suit all day, that's for sure."

Makoto didn't say anything at first. It was still early in medicine and biology to truly understand the chemicals in the brain that made this change. Even she wasn't informed enough to understand how the people next to her felt.

"It's ok if ya find it weird," she spoke out again, her eye gazing towards the stars. "I'm still gettin' used to it myself. Don't feel bad enough that ya gotta stay or anythin'. Pity ain't gonna help anyone."

"That isn't it at all," Makoto responded, smiling towards Goromi. "It's a bit unexpected but how would I know. I'm only seeing part of your journey now. You know yourself better than anyone here and I think it's really brave to go out and be yourself. Besides," a blush crept on her face as crinkles appeared around her eyes. "I think you're really beautiful Goromi."

Makoto was ashamed to admit later on that they full blown made out. Not because of how Goromi looked and behaved but more out of having the public eye witness the way that she threw herself onto the other. Goromi's exposed shoulders hit a desire in Makoto that made her crave more and her fingers rode along the ridge of the other's back. And god did Goromi know how to kiss. Oh she was magnificent and soft and the way she cradled Makoto made her feel safe and warm and loved that she didn't want any of it to stop. Unfortunately, Goromi received a phone call that snapped them out of it and she had to take care of that immediately. But that didn't stop them from exchanging numbers and addresses.

And before Makoto knew it, they were official. It was a bit underwhelming on how it happened:

"Hey Makoto."

"Yea, Goromi?"

"Are we dating?"

"I'm not sure. I mean, we're kinda always together. And you're at my house a lot."

"Shit, I can't even remember the last time I slept alone in my own bed."

"To be fair…..neither can I."

"Makoto, I don't think friends do that. Especially friends that make out all the time instead of sleepin' on said bed."

"You're right."

"So, technically, does that make you my girlfriend?"

"I guess so, if that means your my girlfriend too."

The answer was yes and thus created the partnership between the two. It wasn't as dramatic as Makoto expected, especially since Goromi was known for theatrics but she didn't complain. She had a girlfriend now. That's all that mattered.

Though their relationship didn't start off dramatic, everything else blew into a storm afterwards. Goromi insisted on Makoto moving in to her place pronto. Absolutely no hesitation. She wanted Makoto with her and that was final.

"Are you sure that would be a good idea, Goromi? Don't you think it's a little bit too soon?" Makoto asked worriedly. She herself wanted to say yes but the stigma of society had to have been hard on Goromi. Now add the idea being in a relationship with a girl AND having said girl live with you and that was a recipe for disaster.

"Well, if all goes well, I'll be wantin' to marry ya, so I think it's a fuckin' fantastic idea," she retorted back, clearly not caring what anyone thought of her.

So Makoto did the same. She moved in with Goromi as soon as she could.

And together they lived in a giant apartment that was only fit for the top yakuza in Japan, aka Goromi who was the matriarch of the Majima Family. Everything was so neat and clean, each thing having its own place in the different rooms. Things were of the highest quality, including the huge TV that rested in her (their) living room.

"What can I say, money burns a hole in my pocket. I gotta spend it or else I get antsy," Goromi spoke up when Makoto was caught embarrassingly staring with an open mouth.

Makoto thought that moving in would take an adjustment period. She had gone from being alone to now having someone else in her sphere, which that sphere wasn't just a friend but a girlfriend.

However, it felt like they lived together for all their lives.

Their day would start off with an annoying alarm to wake them up. Curses whispered under their breaths with the idea of having to get up and actually be adults. Sometimes conversations of "Do I really gotta, Makoto?" "Just as much as me, Goromi." came between them but they both would end it with a sweet morning kiss that maybe wasted a couple more minutes than they had to spare. When their mouths felt satisfied, they would leave the bed and separate for a small bit. Makoto had the upper hand with food so she would cook them a healthy breakfast as well as prepare Goromi's lunch. If left alone, she would find herself into the junkyard of food and Makoto wanted to discourage that ("Makoto, I don't mean to put these standards on ya but I could eat this all day! This shits amazing!" "Oh really? Do you want me to make you lunch then?" "If it ain't gonna trouble ya!"). Plus, just imagining Goromi's face when she got to see what surprise Makoto left for her always made her smile.

With breakfast on the table, Makoto would call out to her lovely partner ("Goromi! It's breakfast!") which was usually met with push back ("Hold on baby, I'm on my way!"). But Makoto understood. Goromi had to complete her look or else the emotions grew too strong for her to handle. Makoto didn't understand it completely but she accepted it. Goromi knew how to make herself better and Makoto trusted her judgement.

And like routine, Goromi would come in and whisk Makoto off her feet, kissing her deeply and passionately. They would kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss and-

Of course, a stomach had to grumble.

"Goromi, it sounds like you're hungry."

"Ugh, don't remind me. I hate the fact that I'm always starvin'."

"Well you're a growing woman. You need nutrition in you."

"I swear being with ya has made me gain weight like no tomorrow."

"You make it sound like its a bad thing."

"It's bad for my figure but fuck, I can't resist that food ya make."

So they would eat with Goromi's plate just a smudge fuller than Makoto's. Sometimes they would eat in silence, other times they spoke with their body parts. Legs crossed, hands held, small kisses on the cheek. It was the calm part of their days and Makoto wished for these moments to expand into infinity.

Once plates were finished, Goromi would push Makoto to go get ready while she cleaned up the dishes. That was the biggest thing in the house. In the beginning, Goromi insisted that she did everything. A great pleasure of hers was spoiling Makoto so she wanted to whisk away any responsibility from her and carry it on her shoulders. But Makoto wouldn't allow that for reasons that were quickly understood. So they compromised on split chores. Makoto would cook; Goromi would clean. Makoto would dust; Goromi would do the laundry. Everything was split between the two and it worked well.

The only thing that Makoto couldn't shake Goromi off of was the last remaining aspects of getting ready, aka makeup and final outfit touches. Oh how she was insistent on it and how insistent Makoto was on not allowing it until Goromi played the card of wanting more practice so she succumbed. Anything to make Goromi smile. So, in Goromi's private room of makeup and styling products, she would work her magic on Makoto.

"Makoto, have ya been in the sun too much? This foundation is washin' out yer face. And yer skin is cracking."

"I guess I have been outside a bit more. I haven't noticed much though."

"Ya gotta get yer head away from the clouds sometimes. Ya got such a beautiful face, don't make it old so fast."

"I'll try not to, though it's really hard to compete with you, sweetie. You're like the goddess of beauty."

"..."

"Goromi?"

"Stop sayin' such sappy shit. Ya know that I get emotional when ya do that."

"Sorry. I just love you a lot."

"Well yer lucky I love you too. Though I don't like these wrinkles ya got around yer eyes. Yer too young to look like an old woman. I'm glad I got somethin' to take care of that but we gotta do a spa day or somethin'. Yer workin' too hard."

"I would actually like tha-"

"Oi, stop squirmin'! Yer makin' the eyeshadow uneven!"

"Sorry it just tickles a lot!"

Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth they went, Makoto trying to stay still under the fluttering of Goromi's brushes. Little by little, Goromi worked her magic and little by little, Makoto wished that she could smack her girlfriend to stop.

But that thought always dissipated when her girlfriend gave a sweet smile and showed Makoto her reflection. "How do you like it?" She would always ask in hesitation, as if she was nervous that Makoto would hate it and stomp on all her hard work. And each time, Makoto gave a hiccup in happiness and kiss Goromi on the lips while muttering, "I love it."

"Well if ya love it so much, now it's yer turn to help with my hair," Goromi always teased, knowing full well that Makoto loved choosing what hairstyle her girlfriend that day. And it wasn't as if she only had a few to choose from. Goromi had a few shelves of wig heads that held different colors and cuts of hair. They were unique and fit a range of outfits and Goromi looked so beautiful in all of them that it was difficult to choose. However, Makoto trusted the feeling in her gut and let her body point to the perfect one. "That one," she would say, her finger showing which wig would fit. And then Goromi would chuckle, saying "I was thinking that too," while bringing it down and putting it over her short, black hair.

Then they had to part ways for work and obligations, which was always Makoto's least favorite part of the day. Every customer that came under her hands, she tried to focus on them but her mind always went to Goromi and how soft her skin was and all the sweet things she made sure to tell Makoto anytime they were together.

What could she say? Goromi was a difficult woman to forget.

Plus, she was so good in bed too. Everyone said that she inherited Lee's god hands but Makoto denied the claims, knowing full well that Goromi should be the one with the title. Her manicured hands always knew where to go on Makoto's body. They would trace her curves, her breasts, her feminine cavities, applying pressure in just the right places to make her roll back her head in pleasure. Goromi spoiled the living fuck out of her and made her such a mad girl underneath all the professionalism she displayed in the massage parlor.

Sex was amazing. Sometimes it was soft and sweet; other times it was rough and fiery, full of passionate love that made both of them sweat with deep breaths. There were times where Makoto had to stifle her ecstatic moans, especially since cops have showed up on their doorstep, wondering if abuse was happening when it was the complete opposite. They were in love.

Goromi loved her and she loved Goromi. All parts of her.

When others brought up how sex worked with another girl (not ever seeing Goromi up front), Makoto would simply laugh and change the subject. But the truth was one that made her feel selfish in the end, despite that it derived from a choice that Goromi made herself. See, Goromi decided to only change up her clothing and makeup styles to embrace her new identity. She didn't want any changes done to her body, which meant that her chest was still flat and she still had her male genitalia. Makoto had asked her one time why she still kept those parts of her if they didn't align with her desire to be female. It was an uncomfortable question, one that made Goromi squirm slightly but she explained to Makoto ("It's ok if you don't want to explain Goromi. It won't bother me." "Nah, sometimes ya gotta talk about uncomfortable shit like this, especially when ya trust the person."). From what she could understand, Goromi didn't like the idea of having to undergo a knife, especially since there were still some risks with changing her full body like that. Medical treatments and plastic surgery still continued to grow and expand and Goromi didn't want to be in the middle of that. It had nothing to do with the strict society in Japan expecting her to conform to female standards but it had to do with her unease of knives mutilating her skin. It was an irreversible procedure that could cause defects if done incorrectly and Goromi wasn't sure she was ready for the risks. And to be very fair to Goromi, just hearing her explain it made Makoto's skin goosebump heavily. She probably wouldn't go to that extent either. And it wasn't as if Goromi would never want to go through that procedure at some point in her life. She just wanted to wait until the time was right, that medicine and transgenderism were a part of society enough that there wasn't a worry.

But for now, she was content with only changing the cosmetic side to her. It wasn't the same as fully being a female but it was enough for Goromi and Makoto trusted her judgement. She respected whatever boundaries Goromi wanted and did her best to conform to that.

Despite Makoto telling Goromi that there was never a pressure to use male genitalia in bed, she insisted that it was ok to use. Without it, she would just have to resort to using a falsified cock anyways so why not use it for good use? Goromi was still going to get pleasure from it and the idea of being inside Makoto was what truly made it worth it. They both got to orgasm and connect as one with their bodies. They both got to feel shivers trembling in their bones, moans only meant for each other. What more could they have asked for?

In all, Makoto and Goromi were happy. True, their relationship wasn't always perfect and they did have to share some difficulties ("Makoto, I need to do this." "Says who?" "Says the Tojo Clan and my boys." "Do they even know about the real you underneath? You know what they would do to you if the higher ups found out." "Right now they need me and I owe it to them. I can live with pretending to be a male for a bit. It'll suck but I gotta do what I gotta do." "..." "What's wrong Makoto?" "Sometimes I feel like you care more for the yakuza than you do with this life we have.") and there were more times than not that Makoto would be by herself in their bed, hand gripping the empty side as she tried to will herself to sleep. There were even moments where Makoto just wanted to pick up her stuff and leave. She couldn't see herself romantically involved with the doctor that helped her medically after the incident with the empty lot but at least he could provide her stability with a dedicated job that always brought him home at night. However, the second Makoto was brought back into Goromi's arms, she wanted to spit in that mindset and curse whatever demon made her think that way. Deep down, Makoto loved Goromi. They were soulmates through and through.

Due to the strictness of their country, throughout the time they were together, Makoto and Goromi dabbled into the idea of marriage. It would make everything between them official in society's eyes and could make things significantly easier. However, laws didn't acknowledge the idea that a born individual's mind could make them feel differently. The more they looked into it, the more Goromi detested the idea. There were so many contradictions after contradictions and ultimately, they decided to wait into the future, when they both felt that it was necessary to take that step.

Except, one little tangent occurred that changed the course of plans.

Makoto got pregnant.

By no means were the pair planning it. Goromi and Makoto did everything they could to make sure that a child wouldn't be conceived without an extensive conversation on if one should be brought in. They both conversed about it, coming to the agreement that they weren't ready and that there were still issues that kept them from having a child properly. It wasn't that they didn't want one, but like with the topic of marriage, it just didn't seem like the right moment.

So one could imagine the shock when Makoto missed her period and shakily purchased a pregnancy test from the nearby mart. She couldn't keep anything still from home all the way to the restroom and anxiety made her worry that maybe she wasn't going to do it right and that the result would be all wrong.

But then lines appeared. Makoto was pregnant. There was no denying it at this point. All the symptoms lined up with the dates.

Many thoughts rummaged through her head: What was she going to do now? What was Goromi going to say? Could they handle this child? Did she have to find a way to remove them?

Makoto was so lost that she didn't hear the steps of clicks coming closer and only looked up when she saw Goromi's trimmed eyebrows turned up in worry.

"Makoto, what's wrong?" She asked, hurriedly moving her pedicured feet to join a sitting Makoto on the couch. Her arms wrapped around her girlfriend, Makoto feeling the warmth of her muscles against her.

"I have something to tell you Goromi…."

Goromi didn't answer and Makoto was too scared to look her straight in the eye, to look at her chocolate color with eyeliner popping it out. "You can tell me anything, Makoto. I promise I won't judge you."

"Will you be upset?"

"Makoto….Whatever ya did….I know ya, I know that there's a beautiful heart in there that only looks out for the best. I promise it won't make me love ya any less."

Fuck, how did she end up with the best girlfriend in the world!? This wasn't ok!

Makoto took a quivering breath in and looked at Goromi. Everything in her face was filled with anxiety and she was scared to only taint that face more with the information but she needed to. It was beneficial for both of them. "Goromi….I'm pregnant."

BOOM.

"Yer…..yer what?"

"I'm pregnant Goromi," Makoto repeated, a hand pressing against her stomach.

Goromi didn't respond at first. She stayed silent, making the other be syringed with troubled worries. "How long have ya known?"

"Just a few hours ago really. I did a test on a whim and it showed up positive. Maybe it's not 100% sure but I don't think that's the case."

Pause. "So what do you want to do?"

Another pause. "I don't know to be very honest. I'm….I'm stuck…."

No words exchanged between them for a bit, an awkward tension building up around them and threatening to suffocate them dry. This wasn't in their plans yet it happened and there was no telling on what to do, how things would change. They had been living their lives on the high life, going to clubs, discos, Goromi showering her in lavish gifts when they could. Of course, they upheld their responsibilities but it couldn't be compared to a child. Absolutely not.

Finally, Goromi broke her embrace and placed her head between her hands, hair flowing from the sides while she sat bent towards her knees. Little whimpers and grumbles echoed within her palms that came with quivers on her shoulder blades. Makoto's breaths quickened watching Goromi as such. She wasn't supposed to know but she had seen Goromi in this position before, in the middle of the night when nightmares came out to play and this moment mirrored that exactly.

"Goromi….?" Makoto whimpered out, her hands hovering over Goromi's back in a mixed decision on whether she should hold onto her back or let her be. She tried to fight back tears, tried to fight all the blame that pursued inside. Goromi wouldn't want her to feel this way but Makoto couldn't help it. It hurt. It hurt so bad knowing she played a part in all of this. "Goromi….I'm so sorry….I'm so, so sorry, I should have been more careful, I didn't mean to put you in this position and-Goromi?"

The last bit came out in surprise as Goromi rose up and laughed, her original features leashed out to be younger and fluid. Makoto kept sitting there confused, question marks raising over her head that Goromi tried to answer but only could giggle in response. "I'm….I'm sorry Makoto, I'm just….I'm just relieved."

"Relieved?"

"Ya relieved. For fucks sake, I was here thinking ya cheated or decided to fuckin' leave and never look back. I expected the fuckin' worst but yer cryin' over a baby? I mean, shit, I got scared for a moment!"

"But Goromi, this is serious! We've had this conversation before, and we had decided-"

"Listen to me, Makoto," Goromi interrupted, putting her hands on the other's shoulders. "Just cause we talked about it, doesn't mean it always goes the way we want it to and there ain't nothin' wrong with that. Did we plan for it? Hell nah, but that don't mean we don't have time to think about it and make sure we're ready for when they pop out."

"But what about-"

"We'll cross the bridge when we get there but right now, there's nothing to stress over. We got 9 months-"

"Technically 8-"

"Even better. We got 8 months to work things out and at least 20 years after that until they decide to fuck off into the wind." Then Goromi's face turned dark. "But only….only if ya wanna keep 'em. If you don't wanna, we'll find a way." She have a small smile and cupped a hand on the side of Makoto's face, thumb caressing her cheek. "It's up to ya, Makoto. No matter what, I'm gonna be here and go with whatever you decide. That's a promise."

"What….what do you want, Goromi?"

"What do I want? Is that a question to ask?" She breathed out, softness appearing in her eyes. "I want to be with you forever. In a perfect world, we'd be married with kids but really….I just want to be with you Makoto, nothin' more or less."

Makoto beamed back at her. "To be honest, that's what I want too." Her head dipped down to look at her stomach and in that moment, she knew. She knew that this little one came with a sign. A declaration of love between the two. It almost felt silly to get lost in her mind that having this child would hold them down, that she would need to remove them from their lives. Now that Goromi seemed excited…..well, Makoto could only follow suit. They were going to be a family. Makoto was still nervous and still wasn't sure if this would be the right move but she had faith in Goromi and their relationship.

"So….whaddya want to do Makoto?"

"I think…..I think we should keep them after all. You're right, we'll cross the bridge when we get there but as long as I have you, I think we'll be ok."

After letting that new fact set in, they gave each other the sweetest of glances before bringing each other to kiss any residing doubts within them. It felt like pure magic against their lips and Makoto never wanted to let go. No matter what happened, it was Goromi and her against the world. And soon, a little puppy conceived from them would join them in that fight.

And she never wanted to change a single about that.