Disclaimer. Don't own and never will.

AN: This one was inspired by something I saw on the profile of the fanfiction author sctwilightvampwolfgal and was written for the Sapphic Season – Ultimate Femmeslash Competition: 1st December 2019 – 29th February 2020

"Excusez-moi Madame Patil, may I ask you something?"

Padma Patil looked up to see her French coworker Priscilla Roux looking at her with a curious expression on her face.

"What is it?" Padma asked and Priscilla gave what she presumably thought was a winning smile. It felt more like a shark smiling at his food. All around them, Padma could see interested glances from around the staff canteen.

"Well, you're married to that Chinese girl Su Li, right?"

"Korean," Padma corrected, resisting the urge to sigh. She had told all of her new colleagues at the French Ministry of Magic this when she had first started. (Part of her first 'meet your colleague' shows that their boss insisted on having.) Somehow, Priscilla never seemed to remember. (Or it was just another excuse to be a bitch. Padma suspected the latter.)

"Oh I'm so sorry," Priscilla said brightly and Padma sighed, wondering how long it would take Priscilla to get to the point. "I never can tell them apart."

Padma resisted the urge to roll her eyes and allowed her mind to wander. There was a nice little Parisian bakery on her way home. Maybe she should pick up a nice dessert.

"Well, I just wanted to congratulate you on how you're taking her obvious cheating," Priscilla said and Padma abruptly sat up.

"Pardon?"

"Well two girls can't make a baby together, can they?" Priscilla said and Padma resisted the urge to sigh. Of course she would have to bring that up.

"Well-"

"And we all admire how you're holding up at what must be a stressful time for you," Priscilla continued and a couple of her groupies smiled. "I mean, it must be so humiliating for you. Your wife isn't even trying to hide her growing pregnancy bump. She's grown so big. And at only five months too."

"Well, she is having triplets. Bu-"

" how I admire you. (No you didn't, Padma thought to herself. You're busy thinking that I'm a fool.) To take on not one, but three children not your own is truly admirable. Even if they will always be painful reminders of what happened. Do you know who the father is?"

"Well, it's complicated, but-"

"Oh I see. Someone too important for you to name," she winked at Padma. "I understand. Some secrets are best kept secret, eh non?"

"Not exactly," Padma paused and frowned, but before she could continue, Priscilla continued to talk.

"Men are such pigs. Tch, they have their fun, then run away," she hissed and Padma raised an eyebrow and idly wondered why Priscilla kept marrying men if she hated them so. "It's okay, you can trust us to keep these details secret."

"There's no secret," Padma said with a smirk crossing her face. "Su and I decided that we were ready to have children and we went to a muggle fertility clinic."

"Muggle fertility clinic?" Priscilla asked uncomprehendingly, as though the concept was completely alien to her. (In fairness, it probably was. Padma hadn't even known such things existed until Su Li had introduced her to the idea.)

"Well yes," Padma said with a smile. "Muggles are wonderfully inventive. Did you know, that they've made it possible to have children without having sex with a man?"

"No…" Priscilla said, her eyes wide and disbelieving.

"Why yes," Padma said with a smile. "We both had a round of IVF each and…" Padma shrugged, determined not to let this bitch see how much this upset her, "my body didn't take to it and Su Li's embryos did implant. We're keeping a close eye on her and of course no apparating or alcohol."

"Ho-"

"Oh look at the time! My break is sadly over and I must get back to work. Goodbye," Padma said, reisting the urge to smile at the look on Priscilla's face.

AN; The bit from sctwilightvampwolfgal's profile that inspired me is below.

Dear girlfriend of two years,

You're confused as to how you are pregnant?! Me to...

Sincerely, virgin boyfriend.