Once Upon The Other Time

"Maybe we're just two people who weren't meant to fall in love but did. Two strangers who have fallen so helplessly in love, that knowing one without the other would seem wrong. Two people who make each other whole."

2006

Sighing heavily, she deletes the recording before placing the camcorder back down on the mahogany dresser across from the foot of her bed. Fixing her hair, she readjusts the tilt of her head as she plops back down at the edge of her bed and smiles into the blinking red light on the camera. Drawing in a final breath, she begins the monologue for the fifth (or was it the sixth?) time.

She gets to the run she keeps stumbling over with ease and pauses a moment before she continues on, her right arm moving about her head to help emphasize what she was saying.

She needed to nail this audition.

Well, she needed to nail any audition but this upcoming one was particularly important now that she was unemployed.

It had only been a day since she'd resigned from her position at the DA's office but she'd always told herself the position was temporary and she knew that leaving would be the perfect excuse to jump back into acting.

If she could only focus long enough to get the goddamn lines right.

The past few weeks her mind had been a frazzled mess, partially due to the sudden revelation Harvey had about Cameron Dennis and partially because of her own personal revelation about her feelings towards Harvey.

Sure, they'd always had flirty conversations, their banter often leaving her unsure whether or not he strictly saw her as a co-worker, a friend, or if maybe he wanted something more. After handing in her resignation letter, she had a moment of clarity upon realizing she would miss seeing him every day. She'd grown accustomed to his smart ass remarks about the latest script she was reading over at her desk over her lunch break and she looked forward to seeing his smile each and every morning. Walking out of that office, box of things in hand she realized, she had feelings for Harvey Specter.

Feelings, she decided, she was not going to act on unless he made the first move. She'd made it very clear that she didn't mix her personal life with her professional one, but now that they no longer worked together she wouldn't mind mixing business with pleasure. His suggested "ritual" only added fuel to the fire, hence why she could only manage to get through half a monologue before her mind drifted to images of their bodies pressed against one another, whipped cream in hand.

He just had to suggest a ritual involving whipped cream. A visual she could have gone without.

She'd heard from Bertha earlier that morning that Harvey had resigned and while she was happy she'd been right about pegging him as a good man, the anticipation of what might happen next was eating away at her.

They didn't work together anymore.

And that meant…

Focus! She tells herself, resuming the speech she'd semi-begun while forcing herself to face the camera that was still recording.

She gets through three more lines before a knock at the door interrupts her and she rolls off the bed and makes her way towards it. She makes a brief pit stop in the kitchen in case she's right about who's behind the door (and let's face it, when was she not) and retrieves the item she'd picked up at the store that morning; just in case.

Making her way towards the front door, she secures the item behind her back and tries to hide the smirk already spilling across her lips. She was an actress for god's sake, she could at least pretend to be surprised when she opened the door to find Harvey standing in the hall.

.

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2020

"Donna! What do you want me to do with these old tapes?" Harvey calls into her bedroom from his place between the boxes lining her living room floor.

"What are they?" She calls back, a clanging noise coming from the kitchen where she was packing up her dishes.

"Looks like audition tapes," he replies, examining one that read Audition Practice 2006 along the side. He gets up and roots around in another box, smiling to himself as he pulls out an old VCR and hooks it up to the TV that is still present in the center of the room.

He waits as the tape slides into the machine and leans back against the couch as he adjusts the TV settings so he can watch it. Today was a big day for him and Donna. After over a decade, they were finally together, finally moving in together and every part of it still felt surreal to him. Sure, it may have taken them a while to get here, but it was worth the wait to finally have everything with her.

She was moving into his apartment until the new condo they'd rented was ready, so today they'd recruited Mike and Rachel to help them pack up the things in her old apartment. Since both Mike and Rachel had gone out to fetch lunch, he found himself feeling nostalgic about the days he and Donna first met; a feeling that fueled his desire to watch one of her old audition tapes. When he first met her she told him that she needed something temporary because she was going to be an actress someday, and though he hated that she gave up on that dream, he was so damn proud of the COO she'd become.

He settles back against the leather, his legs outstretched on the hardwood floor as the tape begins to play and a young Donna appears on the screen, bangs hanging over her eyes. She begins to speak into the camera, introducing the role she's going to be speaking for and Harvey can't help but chuckle; she looked so young; he can hardly believe they'd known each other for this long.

"What on earth are you watching?" She laughs as she strolls in from the kitchen and takes a seat on the couch almost directly behind him. She tosses her hair back into a low ponytail as she crosses her jean-clad legs in front of her.

"You," he replies with a smug smile.

"Oh god," she groans, burying her face in her hands, "did my hair really look like that?"

"I think it looks cute!" He says.

"You have to say that, you're my husband."

"Mm that's also why I get to watch them, I have to know what I'm getting myself into."

"I think that ship has already sailed," she smirks, reaching down to squeeze his shoulder.

Both of their eyes move to the screen as they watch a younger Donna continue to read the same scene into the camera.

"You were pretty good, did you ever get that part?" He asks.

"Hmm, I don't think so…"

"Why not?"

"I think this is the part I never auditioned for because I decided to come with you to Pearson Hardman."

"I'm sorry you turned it down for me."

"Don't be. You changed my life for the better, even if I didn't know it back then."

He reaches up and takes her hand, squeezing her palm before gently running his thumb over her rings.

"Oh god, I can't watch this," she whines, the miniature version of herself now raising her right hand dramatically while she looks to the camera and takes a long, unnecessary dramatic pause.

"I'll be in the kitchen," she calls, even though she's already gone.

He smirks to himself as he continues to watch the video, her strawberry blonde curls framing her face. He watches in silence for a few moments, studying the concentrated look on her face. She was so passionate about what she was saying, she made him want to believe in every word. It saddens him slightly that she never pursued acting but just seeing this video of her practicing, it fills him with pride to know she was great at it.

Video Donna shifts slightly and her white sweater falls open, revealing a pink slip that he instantly recognizes.

She must have filmed this the same day as that time he came over.

That time.

The young Donna staring back at him was the same one young Harvey would later try to impress.

What a good day, he thinks to himself. Even though things were a little bit messy after, it was that night he knew that Donna was something special; that the connection they had was special. He may have been too immature and foolish back then to see it, but over the years it was the memories of that night that urged him to dig deeper until he could finally access the way he felt about her.

It was the visions of red and lace and whipped cream that made every other woman he spent the night with seem like a waste of time. The way her body fit perfectly with his, the way they came undone together, that made it impossible to love anyone else.

It was that night that he'd compare every other night too, and eventually, he would come to learn that no one made him feel quite like Donna did.

The girl on the screen continues to flirt and flounce about as she speaks to the camera, pausing momentarily to contemplate what to say next and he finds himself fixated on the way she seems to get lost in thought before bringing herself back to the memorized words.

She's about to continue speaking when he hears a faint knock on the door and young Donna gets up off the end of her bed, wraps herself in her white cardigan and disappears off-screen.

He can't figure out why the camera's still rolling if she's done rehearsing, so he assumes she just forgot to stop recording and that's the end of what's on the tape and he moves to retrieve it from the VCR. Before he can hit eject, he can hear her voice again only now she's not talking to the camera, she's speaking to someone.

He listens but the voices on the tape are muffled and soon they go silent. He's about to eject the tape for a second time when young Donna is back on the screen only, she's not alone. She's wrapped around a man, tugging him into the bedroom, hands eagerly roaming his back as she leads the way and backs them into the room.

It isn't until she's being lifted onto the bed that he realizes what he's watching.

Rather, who he's watching.

"Holy shit!" he exclaims, unable to help himself from the sudden outburst and unable to move towards the TV and shut the tape off.

"Harvey, what the.." she begins to question as she strolls back into the room and stops mid sentence when her eyes fall upon the screen. The screen where a young Harvey was hovering over a young Donna as he placed a trail of sloppy kisses down her neck.

Oh.

"What is that?" she manages to ask, both of them stuck in place, unable to think or move.

"The same tape…" he explains and it suddenly hits her that she was recording a rehearsal when Harvey came over that day. Something she'd never given a second thought about; even after finding her video camera on the floor the next day - she'd just assumed she knocked it over while getting ready and since she decided to go and work at Pearson Hardman she passed on the audition and never gave the tape a second glance.

A sudden moan from the screen cuts through the awkward silence lingering in Donna's living room and Harvey is as quick to pause the tape as Donna is to tell him to.

"We… we …" she begins.

"Did you know we made a sex tape!?" he finishes for her.

"I… I must have forgotten to turn the camera off when I heard the knock… I just assumed it was you and I was nervous… holy shit."

"Holy shit…" he echoes.

"We made a sex tape."

They stand in silence once again, each taking a moment to process what they're actually staring at. The accidental sex tape that they'd recorded over a decade ago. Their first and for the longest time, only, time together was preserved on film.

"Should we… watch it?" he eventually asks, not quite sure what to do next. They were married now, and couples made sex tapes, right? Only, this tape was over ten years old, and they weren't together back then.

"No," she answers, though part of her is curious. A large part of her is glad she never went back and watched that audition tape because she can't imagine having to tell him she'd accidentally recorded them and she doubts they'd have easily recovered from the aftermath.

"Maybe just a minute?" she adds, unable to keep her own curiosity at bay.

"Sure," he nods, equally as curious to see what their first time had been like.

He hits play and they awkwardly settle on the couch, watching as the pair on the screen begins to undress each other.

He watches as her cardigan hits the floor, followed swiftly by his top and belt.

Watches as his palms graze her bare freckled back, her lips roaming across his neck, hands anchoring herself to him.

It's a mess of hands and limbs and he's not sure why but watching this, he's nervous. Their first time had a special place in his mind and it suddenly occurred to him that watching the scene unfold would be a lot different than the way he remembered that night.

Luckily for Harvey, the front door swings open and Mike and Rachel stroll in carrying two bags of Chinese food. Harvey jumps up and blocks the view of the screen while Donna quickly ejects the tape and tosses it in a random nearby box as the pair jump off the couch, caught.

"What are you guys watching?" Mike asks, dropping the bags down onto the table.

"Nothing!" they cry in unison, both turning various shades of red.

"Whatever you say, weirdos," Mike shrugs and dismisses the situation, instead, focusing his attention on taking the food out.

.

.

After an afternoon of awkward packing, Mike finally picks up on the weird charged energy between Harvey and Donna and makes an excuse about having an early case, leaving them to themselves.

After they finish packing up the last of the boxes, they head down to where Ray was waiting for them, Harvey secretly grabbing the tape and stuffing it into the smaller box he was carrying.

The ride back to his place is filled with small talk about what still needs to be packed and moved and while he knows they're both avoiding the subject, he tries to think of a way to bring it up again. Had he found the tape a few years ago before they were together, he suspects things would be different, awkward and tense, but they were married now, everything had changed.

He tries to imagine what would have happened if she would have decided to move years ago and he offered to help pack and they found the tape. He doubts it would have ended well. Maybe they would have watched it, tensions would run high and they would relive the high they felt that night. But then it would be over and things would never go back to the way they were, they would perhaps grow angry, resent one another and that perfect memory he had of them together would be forever shattered.

Instead, he was itching to ask his wife if maybe she wanted to see what was actually on the tape. It wasn't like they hadn't done it again since that time, in fact, they'd been late to meet Mike and Rachel that morning because he'd pulled her into the shower with him.

His curiosity gets the better of him as they step off the elevator and as she begins to fumble around in her bag for her keys he decides to go for it.

He cocks his head to the side as he watches her push through the front door, her gaze fixed on his.

"What?" she smirks, leading the way into the apartment.

"Nothing," he grins, following behind her a little too closely.

"I know that look. That's your up to no good look. Spill," she instructs.

"I was just thinking, what if we watched the tape? It's not like we didn't just do some of those things this morning," he explains, devilish grin replacing the shy one from a moment prior.

"We don't even have it here," she huffs, trying to pretend she could care less about the tape they'd discovered.

"Don't we?" he asks, eyes growing wide as he drops the box he was carrying on the counter and fishes the tape out, holding it up so she can see the 2006 label.

"Harv-" she begins to protest but is silenced by his sudden closeness. His body presses against hers where she is trapped between the island counter top and his groin and she smiles slightly as his hands come up to settle on her waist. Though he's always happy to get to be with Donna, something about finding that tape, remembering the night they spent together and the years that followed where he wished they could spend another one together has him particularly hot and bothered.

"I just think…" he whispers, leaning in so his breath is hot on her ear, her breath audibly hitching as he presses his harder groin into her thigh.

"It could be fun to watch."

She closes her eyes, allowing herself to sink into his hold, her hands coming up to cup his cheeks as she leans up on her toes to catch his lips between hers. She draws back with a heavy exhale, the desire to continue kisses him nearly all-consuming.

"It could be…" she whispers, weighing her options in her mind. On one hand, it's not like watching it could do any harm, on the other, it could be awkward to watch. She'd spent years thinking about that night, the way they seemed to fit together so perfectly, the synchronicity and the passion she felt when they locked eyes. What if watching this she realized that everything she loved about that night was all a figment of her own imagination?

"We don't have to," he mumbles between the kisses he's begun to place down her neck, each with slightly more pressure and hunger than the last.

"If you don't want to," he finishes, taking the hint she was giving by pulling him closer with her calf and lifting her onto the counter behind her so he could stand between her legs.

"We could try it," she says, hands roaming over his the material covering his chest, head tilting back to grant him further access to her neck. She uses a palm to lower his head so she can draw his lower lip between her teeth, an action that results in a throaty moan.

"You sure?" He asks as he pulls back.

"Yes," she nods, stealing another kiss before hopping down off the counter and grabbing the tape, making her way to the living room.

They settle on the couch, Donna's legs dangling over Harvey's lap as he reaches for the remote and they get ready to watch the tape. She drops her head to his shoulder and he hits play and they watch as they tumble into her bedroom, completely tangled up in each other.

"You know, I bought that whipped cream just in case you came over," she smirks.

"You know, I probably would have come over even if I hadn't manned up and quit."

"Then we would have still worked together," she cocks her head as his eyes darken.

"You would have broken your rule for me," he brags, a smug smile spreading over his lips.

"Would I have?" She teases before laughing at the pouty look in his eyes.

"You tell me," he quips before leaning in and slipping his tongue into her mouth.

She sighs into his mouth, allowing her hands to fall into his hair before they settle on the nape of his neck. Losing themselves in the kiss, they're only transported back to the reality of their living room when the sound of laughter, or more specifically, giggling, fills the room.

Harvey reluctantly breaks their kiss, his hands still securely holding Donna's waist as they turn the attention back to the tape, their sex tape and watch as Donna laughs about something he whispered in her ear.

"See, you found my charm irresistible," he says.

"Oh god," she blushes, burying her head in his shoulder.

"What?"

"I just remembered what you said to make me laugh like that."

"And I just remember what I did to you to make you moan like that," he replies as the sound of Donna's moaning his name echoes through the room.

They watch in tandem, heads slightly tilted, eyes fixed on the screen as more layers of clothing are shed. Her eyes widen as she watches Harvey skillfully work his way down her now naked body, her hips bucking forward widely as his tongue teases her.

She reaches for the remote and pauses the tape as her past cries of ecstasy fill her ears. Harvey turns to her, slightly baffled, too caught up in watching her come undone under his own ministrations, questioning why she stopped the tape without outright asking her why she'd done so.

"Don't act so surprised we both know you've always been good with your tongue," she says playfully, leaning further into his touch as his thumbs roam over her sides.

"You stopped it to compliment me?" he winks, earning him a playful swat in the chest.

"I stopped it because we don't need to watch it anymore."

"We don't?"

"Harvey, that night, when I saw you on the other side of that door… it was everything. A day hasn't gone by in the past decade that I ever even considered regretting that night, because to me it was everything."

"Even if I left afterward?" he whispers sheepishly.

"We're here now, aren't we?"

"We sure are. What do you say we take a trip back to that night?" he smirks, hand sliding from its place on her hip to her inner thigh.

"Don't you want to watch the rest?" she asks, hitting play before he has a chance to respond; a young Donna now reaching for the waistband of Harvey's boxers.

"Donna, that night, it was everything to me. I don't need to watch this tape because I already know what's on it; I see it every time I close my eyes. It's me and you and that inevitable magnetic force that's always been between us. I don't need to watch this because unlike all the times I thought about that night because I missed you and I wanted to relive it, now I have you. Now I can take you in my arms and kiss you whenever I want and do you want to know something? I would really like to kiss you right about now so I'm going to do that. And after that, I'm going to take you into the bedroom and you and I are going to make some of that magic we discovered back in 2006, when you missed an audition to come work for me and you changed my life."

"Just shut up and kiss me already," she smirks, pulling him in for a kiss as she grins against his eager lips.

Dragging Harvey out by the collar, the pair are a mess of arms and legs as they discard layers of clothing and work their way towards the bedroom; their bedroom.

Tumbling through the open door, Harvey follows Donna's lead as she backs him towards the bed, vaguely imitating the scene they'd just watched on the tape only this time the actions were driven by a combination of lust, love and long-awaited desire for intimacy.

He flings the door shut behind him, drowning out the sounds of the tape that is still playing in the living room, giving his semi-naked beautiful wife his undivided attention.

They didn't need to relive the past because despite how important that evening would always be to him, nothing would ever outweigh making Donna smile in the present.

"What do you say Mrs. Specter, should we give the crazy kids on that tape a run for their money?"

"I think we might have some whipped cream," she winks.

"Perfect, we'll need it later."

"We didn't stop the tape," she mumbles between kisses.

"It's fine. It'll stop itself once it ends. Besides, there's nothing on there that can't be outdone in here," he smirks, smoothly sliding his hand beneath the waistline of her panties.

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2006

Young Harvey stretches before looking in the direction of the camera and reaching around on the bedroom floor until he finds his discarded shirt. Slipping into it, he rolls over and watches as she takes a few peaceful breaths; somehow she looked even more radiant than she did the night before and his heart aches for what he's about to do.

He leans over and places a tender kiss to her forehead before whispering something the camera hardly picks up, but it does.

"I'm so sorry Donna. I think I'm falling in love with you but I have to leave because I can't love you the way you need me to, the way you deserve to be loved."

And with that, young Harvey climbs down off the bed and strolls out of the camera's view, leaving Donna to wake up alone and confused a few hours after.

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2020

The tape comes to an end shortly after Harvey is seen leaving Donna's bedroom.

They spend the evening reminiscing, reliving that night in the best possible way.

Making love.

Talking about love.

Celebrating their love.

They fall asleep in each other's arms with nothing but a sheet between them.

The next morning they decide they no longer need to keep the tape, so they toss it into a box and it's never watched again.

Donna never hears back-then Harvey tell her he might be falling for her, instead she spends the day with her husband in bed, making up for the years they'd lost.