Chapter Six: Ghosts of the Past
June 15th, 1983
Over the course of a year and a half, Narcissa slowly learnt what she was capable of. She had always been on the sidelines, always looking out but never looking in. She was accustomed to being pushed to the side; she was accustomed to having someone else speak for her. She was accustomed to that person being Lucius but not anymore. She had been taught by Pandora on how to be a strong witch, one who did not need to feel as though she owed the world for simply being a witch.
It was exhilarating, she tried many things to see if she could spark a passion. She had sat down and kept her mouth closed too long, she wanted nothing more than to let her voice be heard and she was.
She was an open woman now, ready to voice her opinions, ready to show that though she had restrictions on blood purity she wouldn't push others away anymore. She might not care for half-bloods, but she wouldn't shove them away, she would always have a sour taste towards Muggle-borns. It was something too engraved.
It was a cool June day when Narcissa made her way down Hogsmeade with Draco trotting by her side—his tiny hand grasped in his mother's. He was now two and showed warmer features than he would have if Narcissa never left almost years ago. She knew he would be a happy, healthy child, like Pandora had said—he would thrive in the sunlight. He wouldn't wither from the dark.
On her right hip she had Luna in her arms, the girl was a bright blur for those that were around them due to the unique and colorful clothes Pandora had bought and made for her. Narcissa still had an elegant manner to her, her pristine features looser than before. She didn't keep eye contact with others so long, but she still looked at people and answered them without fear of Lucius telling her later she had embarrassed him or the Malfoy name.
She had just turned the corner, only to stop when she saw a familiar black-haired woman with her back turned from her. A girl, who must have been ten now, was standing next to her mother but turned her head, smiling brightly, her hair changing from a bland hair color to bright pink.
The woman with her back to her stiffened before she turned around as though she knew that someone was staring at her, her eyes widening when she stared in horror at her sister in front of her. It made it worse that Andromeda looked just like Bellatrix, though her features weren't harsh, and her eyes weren't so far gone into insanity.
Maybe Narcissa didn't deserve the love Pandora easily gave out. Maybe she should move out of the Lovegood residence. She liked being in a home setting, one where she would have her sister and her niece in the same house as her. One as to seeing her son and her niece play with each other, love each other so carefree and without any formal pureblood society boundaries set up by their mothers.
"You look well, Andromeda. She's beautiful," Narcissa merely stated, before she continued forward. Andromeda didn't reach her hand out and touched her sister's shoulder, there was no sitting down in a restaurant and talking about how they missed each other. It was something that Black sisters weren't known for; it was embarrassing to reveal weakness.
Pushing away what had just happened into the back of her mind, Narcissa soon came up to one of the children's shops that were spread throughout Hogsmeade. She always liked to spoil her little dragon and her little moon (as she had just started calling her recently), though now she had her money by creating custom shoes for clients back in the coziness of the Lovegood residence.
Her shoes were pushing the boundary, some wondered how she could even fit a heel to the shoe, others wondered how she could find the right amount of feathers that wouldn't make the heels tacky. She had an eye for fashion, and hers happened to be something that almost every modern fashionable witch wore…well any well-off witch wore.
Entering the store, it didn't take long for both milky blonde-haired children to hurry off to the toys section of the store that was meant for their age. She smoothed down her deep green robes she had on, which in return made her remember her House. She still loved being in Slytherin, she hated how the House had a bad reputation even now—over a decade later. Then again, he was still alive, unlike now.
She barely paid attention to the door opening behind her until she could feel the trademark magic of the most powerful wizard she had ever known, Albus Dumbledore. He was her headmaster at Hogwarts, he was the one who defeated Grindelwald (the original dark lord).
"Hello, Narcissa! I couldn't help but see you in the display window when I was heading back up to Hogwarts after a successful time in Honeydukes," Albus Dumbledore stated, which in return made Narcissa almost roll her eyes inwardly at the calm and knowing tone that came from the long gray haired (and bearded) wizard.
Turning her head, Narcissa gave a smile of her own towards Dumbledore, reaching her hand out for him to shake. Instead he picked up her hand and gave her wrist a peck. She hadn't been greeted with the old familiarity as before, she didn't know if she should feel insulted or pleased.
"Hello, Professor Dumbledore. How was your school year? Last I heard Bill was doing well," Narcissa remarked, knowing that Bill Weasley, as he preferred to be called Bill, had just finished his Second year at Hogwarts. In September he would be in his Third Year, and Charlie would be entering Hogwarts. He would surely follow his elder brother and family linage; he would become a Gryffindor.
"He was very well, a good lad. No Howlers from Molly," Dumbledore told her, while in the background they could hear giggling from the corner of the room. Narcissa glanced over her shoulder, her eyes landing on Draco and Luna again. They were still in their own little world.
"Ah, I see that young Draco and Luna are having a nice time. Would you mind if I go and see them?" A twinkle was in Dumbledore's eyes, as though he wanted nothing more than to properly meet Draco. He was after all the reason why Narcissa had left the dark side.
Narcissa should have known that this would happen eventually, he would finally see her. She was thankful it took almost two years for him to run into her, she always managed to avoid him in Hogsmeade but then again it was always during the school season. He was always busy with Hogwarts to come down, unless it was on Hogsmeade days for the students.
"Of course." Narcissa trailed after Dumbledore, observing him as he reached the children and sat down so that he was at their level.
Luna was reaching forward as though she was trying to touch something that was next to him. While Draco glanced up at the old man before he went back to playing with the animated dragon, it seemed as though Charlie had rubbed off on him.
"How is your sister?"
Narcissa noted how he didn't turn to look at her, but obviously he was asking her. "She's doing fine, she's busy today. She's had to run some errands in Diagon Alley so that she could get some ingredients for her potions."
"Ah, yes, she was a wonderful Potions student. She was almost neck in neck with Severus. Of course, she was often known for creating her own potions by sheer talent. She showed me her notebook one school year, but she had said she would keep them away from the Board of Healers. She doesn't truly trust them."
This Narcissa knew, her sister and brother-in-law had a thriving hatred towards the Ministry as a whole. It would only make sense that it would evolve to hating St. Mungo's and the board all entirely. She had her own sense of healing, but she had allowed Beth to look over Luna because she was being polite and didn't want to shun out the woman due to Draco and Narcissa's predicament.
Narcissa was amazing at Charms, she was certain that Professor Flitwick was proud of her immensely. She did all right with Transfiguration; she was like any other student when it came to that subject. She was inwardly disturbed when it came to Defense against the Dark Arts. She knew that Lucius had to learn these spells in order to be admired by the Dark Lord, or else he would have probably been killed. He wouldn't even make it to his eighteenth birthday, that she was certain.
"Narcissa, dear, what troubles you so?" Narcissa turned to look at Dumbledore, there was nothing more than concern in his eyes. Sunlight came and flickered against his half moon glasses, causing a glare.
She cleared her throat and straightened her back before she remarked, "nothing is wrong. Just thinking of the past, that is all."
Dumbledore gave a knowing nod, as though letting her know he understood that she was still troubled after almost two years. "Understandable, my dear. I must ask that you allow me to help Draco. Under my guidance also I am certain that he will be even stronger in his own self."
Narcissa almost wanted to tell him that she didn't need him to guide Draco, but she pondered for a moment before she nodded her head. "Not now, wait at least another year. I do not want him to feel pressured. He is still so young."
"Of course, my dear. It was nice to see you. It has been a long time since I last saw you. I must also tell you I am proud of you. I know that leaving Lucius was the most difficult decision you could make," Dumbledore finished.
Narcissa didn't stay much longer in Hogsmeade after her encounter with Andromeda, Nymphadora, and Dumbledore. It was almost as though all the ghosts of her past decided to revisit her, reminding her how she was in the past. Both were unsettling, one made sure to keep her daughter away from her and the other offered to guide Draco in the future when it came to be a wizard.
She didn't tell Pandora about what had happened in Hogsmeade, she wanted to keep this to herself. She instead busied herself with sketching out new designs for her shoes only to look up when she heard the front door being knocked on. She furled her eyebrows, knowing that Lucius couldn't possibly be here. He wouldn't get his visitation until the next week.
Opening the front door, Narcissa was welcomed with Molly standing in front of her with a light weight, quarter sleeved sweater. Her hair was still a mane as always, bright in every way. Her face was dusted with freckles and she looked as though she was the perfect embodiment of a loving mother.
"Albus just told me that you've allowed him to tutor Draco," Molly said, before Narcissa could say hello.
A part of Narcissa almost growled at the fact that there was no secrets with Dumbledore and those who were prominent on the light side. It would only make sense he would tell her, proud of the fact that Molly had given her a chance—which in return meant that something like this would become true and not just a faraway reality.
"Who else knows?" Narcissa moved out of the way so Molly could come in. She shut the door behind her and together they went over to the couch before they sat down. Molly responded, "everyone from the Order."
Ah, Narcissa knew of the Order. They were technically the Order of the Phoenix and had been created when the Dark Lord was at his highest. They were the ones who were determined to vanquish him, though as of now it was Harry Potter that had vanquished him.
"Are you certain that they will accept this? They know the history of my family, I do not know if they want Draco being taught," Narcissa admitted, she was more afraid that they would shove her to the side. She thought that they would remind her of her sins though she was still haunted by them daily.
"Of course, Narcissa. Everyone deserves a second chance," Molly remarked, though inwardly Narcissa wondered if Molly would forgive Sirius if it turned out he didn't kill Lily and James Potter. She knew she felt funny when it came to the fact that he would do such a thing, as she stated before she had seen how he was with James and knew that he would never kill his best friend and surrogate brother.
She didn't voice this either, it was a common occurrence that Molly was very bipolar when it came to the subject of Narcissa's cousin. Besides she looked so happy, so peaceful with the fact that Narcissa had accepted Dumbledore's request. She probably never thought she would.
"Will I ever meet them?"
Upstairs Draco and Luna were taking their afternoon naps. She was thankful they were heavy sleepers, they always enjoyed sleeping with each other. She's sometimes come upstairs and find them holding hands in the middle of their naps, as though they found comfort in each other.
"Yes, a little after Draco gets more adjusted to being taught. We don't want to pressure him with having all of us around him. I know that it would be hard enough for him, we don't want him to be discouraged or not want to do this after all," Molly confessed, though for some odd reason Narcissa wondered why Dumbledore hadn't come to Molly and asked her if she wouldn't mind having her sons and daughter being taught.
Molly stayed a little longer, but not too long. After all she was a mother of seven and she had to be in her house to keep the chaos contained. Again, Narcissa had no idea how the woman could handle having so many children.
That night, as everyone ate together at the kitchen table, Narcissa played with her food. Her fork pushed around the food, as she wondered if she should approach what had happened today after all. She didn't know how Pandora would think about the offer from Dumbledore, she already knew that she would understand about the whole Andromeda and Nymphadora subject.
As though she sensed this, Pandora spoke, "what is troubling you, sister? I can tell that you are wondering if you should tell me something or not. Know that I will always listen, but also respect you if you decide not to share something with me."
Narcissa took a deep breath before she whispered, "I ran into Dumbledore today, when I was in Hogsmeade with the children."
Xenophilius glanced up from his meal, as though he was waiting to hear what her opinion on the matter was. As far as Narcissa knew he didn't have a strong opinion towards the wizard.
"He offered to tutor Draco when it comes to magic when he is older," Narcissa added, knowing that years ago she would have never imagined that this would have happened. She would have never imagined she would accept what Dumbledore requested, nor did she expect it to be him helping Draco.
"You are surprised as to why he would offer his assistance. Although you have a complicated history with him, I know for certain that he wants nothing but the best for you and your son." Pandora reached her hand out and grabbed Narcissa's, giving it a gentle squeeze as though to assure her that there was nothing she should be worried about.
"Thank you, Pandora," Narcissa mumbled, her eyes showing nothing more than appreciation towards the fact that one of her sisters loved her unconditionally and listened to her. Bellatrix only cared about herself, and if anyone went against her, she would make sure they would remember.
The rest of dinner went by well, there was no awkward conversations between any of them. Xenophilius did as he always did, he ate without speaking to either of them. It was common for the man to never talk to either women while Narcissa was in the room. It was obvious that he would never trust Narcissa, for as long as he lived, due to her dark past.
For the remaining night Narcissa sat in the living room and sketched out her shoes for some witches that were in Italy. She was excited, since she would get to charm the shoes to do special things, which in return would make her even more famous. She was so thrilled that she got to live out one of her dreams.
Pandora sat in one of the chairs throughout the room, knitting what looked like a toboggan. It was smaller, so Narcissa knew she was probably making one for either Draco or Luna. Or maybe she would make two, make them identical so that the children would have matching toboggans.
Eventually Pandora went to bed, only after she leant forward and kissed her sister on the cheek. Narcisa bid her a good night before she paid attention on her sketches, making sure that she was content with what she was sketching out for now.
On rare nights Narcissa had insomnia, she wasn't burdened with it all the time. It was only when her mind was troubled that she would stay up later than she normally did. It was always annoying; she would wake up after getting less sleep than usual groggy. She'd have to nurse a cup of tea while her mind was elsewhere, she'd have to ask others to repeat what they had said—it always annoyed Lucius immensely, especially when he would tell her something that was extremely important from the Ministry that she needed to know.
The next morning, Narcissa did indeed nurse a cup of tea in her hands, as she sat outside on the bench underneath the window. Her eyes caught onto the green hills that spread out for miles. She wore one of her night robes still, along with her pajamas, something she would have never imagined she would have done. She would have made sure she was in her daytime clothes first thing in the morning, but then against she was living freer than before.
She was away in her thoughts she didn't even know that Pandora had come out with Draco until she turned her head. She smiled largely at seeing her son, his hair beautiful in the beaming sunlight. He giggled up at his mother and reached his hands out as though he was waiting for her to pick him up, she did so without a second thought—snuggling him against her.
"Hello, my little dragon," she cooed to him, he ate up the attention. He always was one that enjoyed having all the attention on him. He wasn't a spoiled brat though; she knew that if se had still been a Malfoy he would have become one—he would have demanded all the attention on him.
"I made breakfast; I'll make you a plate. When you come in you can use a heating charm if you need to. I'll be in my lab working on some potions if you need me," Pandora informed her, allowing Narcissa to nod her head. She knew that Pandora could work on her potions more since Narcissa came into her life.
It was a warm Scottish day, a little warmer than what was accustomed to the country, and it was very relaxing. She spent as much time as possible in the gardens back at the manor. There were no gardens around the house here, but she knew that there were wildflowers that grew throughout the hills so if she wanted to, she could pluck some and put them in a vase.
Instead she stayed where she was, watching the scenery around her. In the distance she swore she could see The Burrow, though it was only a silhouette of its shape. She smiled as she thought of the children that lived in that house, they knew nothing more than unconditional love from their parents. Their father worked so hard for them to have food on the table, Narcissa didn't know how hard Arthur Weasley worked until she knew the family.
She frowned when she saw a figure of a child running into her direction. As they came closer, she found that it was Charlie that was coming towards her with a pile of books in his arms. She inwardly rolled her eyes, betting that he begged his mother to allow him to come over and read to the babies.
"Hi, Ms. Black!"
Charlie called out, as he came close enough that she could hear him. The red-haired boy with an array of freckles smothering his features beamed at the woman in front of her. A part of her wanted him to call her aunt though she paused a moment later—wondering why she even thought that to begin with.
"Hello, Charlie. Did your mum give you permission to come over?" Narcissa teased him, causing Charlie to blush and then nod his head. She smiled at him before she moved Draco so that he could see him.
"Come inside." Narcissa stood up and went into the house, telling Charlie to take care of the children before she went upstairs and changed into her day clothes, knowing that now she had a visitor over she needed to be dressed properly.
When she reached the ground floor Narcissa couldn't help but smile softly at the sight of Charlie reading to the children. A quiet part of her wanted nothing more than to tuck this into her mind, never to forget it. She wanted nothing more than to have another child, though she knew she couldn't.
Sitting down on the couch, Narcissa pushed those thoughts away and focused on the happy scene in front of her.