Disclaimer: I do NOT own any Tamora Pierce characters, or Dentyne Ice. But
I do own the Yellow Jello Which Are Bent On The Doom And Destruction Of The
World and the Incredibly Evil Shoes of Power, as well as the Chocolate
Chipmunks Which Rule Over All That Is Good And Chocolaty! And The
Dictionaries of Tremendous Super Invisibility Powers.
Worm: *steals disclaimer*
Abel: What are you doing Worm?! I think everyone is goin gto notice that Seadragon does NOT own Tamora Pierce's characters as well as Dentyne Ice! And do you want people to steal the Yellow Jello Which Are Bent On The Doom And Destruction Of The World and the Incredibly Evil Shoes of Power, as well as the Chocolate Chipmunks Which Rule Over All That Is Good And Chocolaty! And The Dictionaries of Tremendous Super Invisibility Powers? DO YOU?!
Kade: Be calm Abel. Wait, what am I saying?! *draws swords and waves it threateningly at Worm until be puts the disclaimer back*
Worm: You never let me have any fun! *pouts* Ooo I know! *runs backstage, rummaging noises can be heard*
Abel: What is she doing?
Kade: How would I know?
Worm: *still rummaging* Ah ha! *noises of something being plugged in are heard*
KA-BOOM!
Worm: Ouch!
Kade: Worm! What the hell are you doing?! ________________________________________________________________
Random Annoying Announcer Dude (RAAD): Welcome to the show where we kidnap random characters from Tamora Pierce's (amazing) stories and make them reveal their deepest, darkest secrets, or they have to do a dare! And please welcome your host Seadragon!
Seadragon: *runs on in long black Matrix trench coat with wicked black sunglasses* Hi every. *is cut off by falling warhammer* Now Keladry! That wasn't very nice! Just because I chose Faithful for my co-host instead of you doesn't mean you half to try and kill me! But thanks for the hammer, it will come in handy for convincing my objects of torture, er guests, to answer truthfully!
*Keladry sticks tongue out at Seadragon and gestured rudely from the rafters*
Seadragon: *sits on her stool* and please welcome my co-host Faithful!
Faithful: *runs on stage and jumps onto matching stool next to Seadragon*
Random Audience Member 1: Hey! It's a cat!
Random Audience Member 2: Ya! I didn't pay to see a stupid cat! What can it do?!
Faithful: *sneers elegantly at the random audience members* Keladry
Keladry: *drops 2 more hammers onto random audience members*
Random Audience Members: *dead*
Faithful: Thank you Keladry.
Seadragon: Well that was interesting! And now for our commercial break! ________________________________________________________________
Keladry: Do need to get rid of someone you hate? *holds up warhammer and points to Neal* Observe. *drops hammer on Neal's head*
Neal: *dead*
________________________________________________________________
Seadragon: And now for our first guest! Please welcome. SIR ALANNA THE LIONESS OF PIRATE'S SWOOP AND OLAU!
Bob: *drags struggling Lioness onto the stage*
Seadragon: Oops! I forgot! This is Bob, who brings us our next victims- er, guests! Bob: Hi
Alanna: Where am I?! Faithful?! What are you doing here?!
Faithful: You are on the stage of the Terrifying Pit of Torture, er did I say Terrifying Pit of Torture? I meant studio! You're on the show where we kidnap random characters from Tamora Pierce's (amazing) stories and make them reveal their deepest, darkest secrets, or they have to do a dare! I'm the co-host of course! *sticks nose in the air* and you are our next random character from Tamora Pierce's (amazing) stories and you are going to reveal our deepest, darkest secrets, or you have to do a dare!
Alanna: *brandishes sword* where is this Tamora Pierce?! I'll show her! I don't belong to anyone!
Seadragon: Oh no you don't *snaps fingers and Alanna's sword disappears*
Alanna: *stares at Seadragon in shock* Who the CENSORED are you?! And give me back my CENSORED sword!
Seadragon: Now, now, none of that! Watch your language missy!
Alanna: *gives Seadragon death glare*
Seadragon: *falls over dead*
*Revival Crew (RC) rushes on stage and brings Seadragon back to life*
Alanna: Why! Why must everyone undo my work! First Thom brought Roger back, now you! *glares at RC*
RC: *shrugs and rushes of stage*
Seadragon: Alright Alanna, now sit! *points at third stool*
Alanna: *sits down and pouts*
Seadragon: There, there, maybe Jon can cheer you up.
Alanna: *sits up straight and fixes her hair* Why? Is he here too?
Seadragon: No. *thinks for a minute and gives evil grin* But he could be! Bob!
Bob: *runs on stage and bows to Seadragon*
Seadragon: Go find King Jonathan of Tortall! And bring back here to the Terrifying Pit of Torture, damn it! Studio, not Terrifying Pit of Torture!
Bob: *bows again and rushes of to find Jon*
Alanna: *awestruck* how long did it take you to teach him that trick?!
Seadragon: Not long, you see when you have a knife in your hand, it is very easy to persuade people to do what you want.
Alanna: *smiles evilly* oh I know. You and I could be great friends.
Faithful: *cowers in his seat*
Seadragon: You know, your right. Faithful! You're fired! Well after this episode you are! Alanna, will you be my new co-host? Pretty please with Dentyne Ice on top?
Alanna: *thinks for a minute* Well. all right! But only if I can bring my Incredibly Evil Shoes of Power!
Seadragon: Sure! So these incredibly evil shoes of power, what can they do?
Faithful: *coughs*
Alanna: Oh Faithful! Are you sick? I'll heal you! *hands shine purple*
Faithful: *groans* I hate to interrupt your terribly important conversation, but can we please get on with the show!
Seadragon: Oh right. Sure Faithful. First we will have questions from your friends (or enemies) Alanna! *snickers not so innocently*
Alanna: *looks warily around her as if expecting someone to come out and attack her*
Faithful: Our first letter is from Duke Roger of Conte. He wants to know why you had to kill him. TWICE. *scowls at Alanna* You killed him twice?! Nice work.
Alanna: Well, you see. It was all the Incredibly Evil Shoes of Power. THEY told me to do it! I had no choice!
Faithful: Right *rolls eyes*
Alanna: *toys with knife* What you don't believe me?
Faithful: No. *snorts* Seadragon: Jonathan wants to know why you insist on carrying packets of yellow jello everywhere?
Alanna: Well you see, its like this: I always have my packets of the Yellow Jello Which Are Bent On The Doom And Destruction Of The World (!) because, I eat it when I have to face an evil enemy to give me the power of the Yellow Jello Which Are Bent On The Doom And Destruction Of The World!!! Mwah ha ha ha!
Seadragon: Wicked! *grins evilly* I need some of the Yellow Jello Which Are Bent On The Doom And Destruction Of The World!
Alanna: NO! The Yellow Jello Which Are Bent On The Doom And Destruction Of The World are mine! And mine alone! *gives Seadragon the death glare*
Seadragon: *dead*
RC: *rush on and revive Seadragon*
Alanna: *wailing* Why does everyone always reverse MY work?! It's not fair! *sniffles*
Seadragon: I'm sorry! But do to the Yellow Jello Which Are Bent On The Doom And Destruction Of The World and the Incredibly Evil Shoes of Power, we are out of time! *fixes wicked Matrix sunglasses* Faithful, you're fired!
Faithful: *frowns* Why me?!
Alanna: *stares at Seadragon* I need a black trench coat and wicked Matrix sunglasses too! *whines some more*
Seadragon: OK! *parts black trench coat and pulls out matching trench coat and wicked Matrix glasses and hands them to Alanna* Goodbye everyone! And tune in next week for.
Audience: the show where we kidnap random characters from Tamora Pierce's (amazing) stories and make them reveal their deepest, darkest secrets, or they have to do a dare!
Seadragon: And I'm your host, Seadragon! ________________________________________________________________
Next up is King Jonathan of Tortall! Please send in your questions for him! It will be longer, but we ran out of time thanks to, Yellow Jello Which Are Bent On The Doom And Destruction Of The World and the Incredibly Evil Shoes of Power!
Our sponsors today were: the Chocolate Chipmunks Which Rule Over All That Is Good And Chocolaty! And: The Dictionaries of Tremendous Super Invisibility Powers (which are why there are many spelling mistakes!)
Kade: What is she talking about???
Abel: I don't know, you're supposed to control Seadragon's sanity, not me! I'm just the creativity and beauty.
Worm: That's right, everyone forget all about the pyromaniac! I'll have you know there wouldn't be a big crater backstage if it wasn't for m That's right, everyone forget all about the pyromaniac! I'll have you know there wouldn't be a big crater backstage if it wasn't for my expertise in blowing up curling irons!
Abel: So it was you who stole my curling iron!
Worm: NO! You've got it all wrong! That was Kade! The Kleptomaniac!
Kade: *snatches pen back from Worm* What are YOU talking about?! You're the kleptomaniac AND the pyromaniac! I'm in charge of sanity! And keep me out of this!
Abel: *advances on Worm, growling fiercely*
Worm: *whimpers and runs away*
Seadragon: *shrugs* Oh well! Please review and give questions for Jon!
Worm: *steals disclaimer*
Abel: What are you doing Worm?! I think everyone is goin gto notice that Seadragon does NOT own Tamora Pierce's characters as well as Dentyne Ice! And do you want people to steal the Yellow Jello Which Are Bent On The Doom And Destruction Of The World and the Incredibly Evil Shoes of Power, as well as the Chocolate Chipmunks Which Rule Over All That Is Good And Chocolaty! And The Dictionaries of Tremendous Super Invisibility Powers? DO YOU?!
Kade: Be calm Abel. Wait, what am I saying?! *draws swords and waves it threateningly at Worm until be puts the disclaimer back*
Worm: You never let me have any fun! *pouts* Ooo I know! *runs backstage, rummaging noises can be heard*
Abel: What is she doing?
Kade: How would I know?
Worm: *still rummaging* Ah ha! *noises of something being plugged in are heard*
KA-BOOM!
Worm: Ouch!
Kade: Worm! What the hell are you doing?! ________________________________________________________________
Random Annoying Announcer Dude (RAAD): Welcome to the show where we kidnap random characters from Tamora Pierce's (amazing) stories and make them reveal their deepest, darkest secrets, or they have to do a dare! And please welcome your host Seadragon!
Seadragon: *runs on in long black Matrix trench coat with wicked black sunglasses* Hi every. *is cut off by falling warhammer* Now Keladry! That wasn't very nice! Just because I chose Faithful for my co-host instead of you doesn't mean you half to try and kill me! But thanks for the hammer, it will come in handy for convincing my objects of torture, er guests, to answer truthfully!
*Keladry sticks tongue out at Seadragon and gestured rudely from the rafters*
Seadragon: *sits on her stool* and please welcome my co-host Faithful!
Faithful: *runs on stage and jumps onto matching stool next to Seadragon*
Random Audience Member 1: Hey! It's a cat!
Random Audience Member 2: Ya! I didn't pay to see a stupid cat! What can it do?!
Faithful: *sneers elegantly at the random audience members* Keladry
Keladry: *drops 2 more hammers onto random audience members*
Random Audience Members: *dead*
Faithful: Thank you Keladry.
Seadragon: Well that was interesting! And now for our commercial break! ________________________________________________________________
Keladry: Do need to get rid of someone you hate? *holds up warhammer and points to Neal* Observe. *drops hammer on Neal's head*
Neal: *dead*
________________________________________________________________
Seadragon: And now for our first guest! Please welcome. SIR ALANNA THE LIONESS OF PIRATE'S SWOOP AND OLAU!
Bob: *drags struggling Lioness onto the stage*
Seadragon: Oops! I forgot! This is Bob, who brings us our next victims- er, guests! Bob: Hi
Alanna: Where am I?! Faithful?! What are you doing here?!
Faithful: You are on the stage of the Terrifying Pit of Torture, er did I say Terrifying Pit of Torture? I meant studio! You're on the show where we kidnap random characters from Tamora Pierce's (amazing) stories and make them reveal their deepest, darkest secrets, or they have to do a dare! I'm the co-host of course! *sticks nose in the air* and you are our next random character from Tamora Pierce's (amazing) stories and you are going to reveal our deepest, darkest secrets, or you have to do a dare!
Alanna: *brandishes sword* where is this Tamora Pierce?! I'll show her! I don't belong to anyone!
Seadragon: Oh no you don't *snaps fingers and Alanna's sword disappears*
Alanna: *stares at Seadragon in shock* Who the CENSORED are you?! And give me back my CENSORED sword!
Seadragon: Now, now, none of that! Watch your language missy!
Alanna: *gives Seadragon death glare*
Seadragon: *falls over dead*
*Revival Crew (RC) rushes on stage and brings Seadragon back to life*
Alanna: Why! Why must everyone undo my work! First Thom brought Roger back, now you! *glares at RC*
RC: *shrugs and rushes of stage*
Seadragon: Alright Alanna, now sit! *points at third stool*
Alanna: *sits down and pouts*
Seadragon: There, there, maybe Jon can cheer you up.
Alanna: *sits up straight and fixes her hair* Why? Is he here too?
Seadragon: No. *thinks for a minute and gives evil grin* But he could be! Bob!
Bob: *runs on stage and bows to Seadragon*
Seadragon: Go find King Jonathan of Tortall! And bring back here to the Terrifying Pit of Torture, damn it! Studio, not Terrifying Pit of Torture!
Bob: *bows again and rushes of to find Jon*
Alanna: *awestruck* how long did it take you to teach him that trick?!
Seadragon: Not long, you see when you have a knife in your hand, it is very easy to persuade people to do what you want.
Alanna: *smiles evilly* oh I know. You and I could be great friends.
Faithful: *cowers in his seat*
Seadragon: You know, your right. Faithful! You're fired! Well after this episode you are! Alanna, will you be my new co-host? Pretty please with Dentyne Ice on top?
Alanna: *thinks for a minute* Well. all right! But only if I can bring my Incredibly Evil Shoes of Power!
Seadragon: Sure! So these incredibly evil shoes of power, what can they do?
Faithful: *coughs*
Alanna: Oh Faithful! Are you sick? I'll heal you! *hands shine purple*
Faithful: *groans* I hate to interrupt your terribly important conversation, but can we please get on with the show!
Seadragon: Oh right. Sure Faithful. First we will have questions from your friends (or enemies) Alanna! *snickers not so innocently*
Alanna: *looks warily around her as if expecting someone to come out and attack her*
Faithful: Our first letter is from Duke Roger of Conte. He wants to know why you had to kill him. TWICE. *scowls at Alanna* You killed him twice?! Nice work.
Alanna: Well, you see. It was all the Incredibly Evil Shoes of Power. THEY told me to do it! I had no choice!
Faithful: Right *rolls eyes*
Alanna: *toys with knife* What you don't believe me?
Faithful: No. *snorts* Seadragon: Jonathan wants to know why you insist on carrying packets of yellow jello everywhere?
Alanna: Well you see, its like this: I always have my packets of the Yellow Jello Which Are Bent On The Doom And Destruction Of The World (!) because, I eat it when I have to face an evil enemy to give me the power of the Yellow Jello Which Are Bent On The Doom And Destruction Of The World!!! Mwah ha ha ha!
Seadragon: Wicked! *grins evilly* I need some of the Yellow Jello Which Are Bent On The Doom And Destruction Of The World!
Alanna: NO! The Yellow Jello Which Are Bent On The Doom And Destruction Of The World are mine! And mine alone! *gives Seadragon the death glare*
Seadragon: *dead*
RC: *rush on and revive Seadragon*
Alanna: *wailing* Why does everyone always reverse MY work?! It's not fair! *sniffles*
Seadragon: I'm sorry! But do to the Yellow Jello Which Are Bent On The Doom And Destruction Of The World and the Incredibly Evil Shoes of Power, we are out of time! *fixes wicked Matrix sunglasses* Faithful, you're fired!
Faithful: *frowns* Why me?!
Alanna: *stares at Seadragon* I need a black trench coat and wicked Matrix sunglasses too! *whines some more*
Seadragon: OK! *parts black trench coat and pulls out matching trench coat and wicked Matrix glasses and hands them to Alanna* Goodbye everyone! And tune in next week for.
Audience: the show where we kidnap random characters from Tamora Pierce's (amazing) stories and make them reveal their deepest, darkest secrets, or they have to do a dare!
Seadragon: And I'm your host, Seadragon! ________________________________________________________________
Next up is King Jonathan of Tortall! Please send in your questions for him! It will be longer, but we ran out of time thanks to, Yellow Jello Which Are Bent On The Doom And Destruction Of The World and the Incredibly Evil Shoes of Power!
Our sponsors today were: the Chocolate Chipmunks Which Rule Over All That Is Good And Chocolaty! And: The Dictionaries of Tremendous Super Invisibility Powers (which are why there are many spelling mistakes!)
Kade: What is she talking about???
Abel: I don't know, you're supposed to control Seadragon's sanity, not me! I'm just the creativity and beauty.
Worm: That's right, everyone forget all about the pyromaniac! I'll have you know there wouldn't be a big crater backstage if it wasn't for m That's right, everyone forget all about the pyromaniac! I'll have you know there wouldn't be a big crater backstage if it wasn't for my expertise in blowing up curling irons!
Abel: So it was you who stole my curling iron!
Worm: NO! You've got it all wrong! That was Kade! The Kleptomaniac!
Kade: *snatches pen back from Worm* What are YOU talking about?! You're the kleptomaniac AND the pyromaniac! I'm in charge of sanity! And keep me out of this!
Abel: *advances on Worm, growling fiercely*
Worm: *whimpers and runs away*
Seadragon: *shrugs* Oh well! Please review and give questions for Jon!