I initially began writing this story as a tribute to the late Bernard Fox, but real-life and writer's block got in the way. I later wrote a sequel to Fanfic Court to honor both him and Harry Anderson. But, I was finally able to finish this. Enjoy!

Mistaken Identity

1164 Morning Glory Circle, Westport, Connecticut.

March 20, 1970

8:45 pm.

Four year old Tabitha Stephens woke up feeling out of sorts. She had felt out of sorts before; but this time was different. She was hot; her nose was running and her chest felt funny. It hurt when she swallowed and her eyes were watering. Yes, this was a different out of sorts.

The little girl sat up in her bed. "Mommy?" she said quietly as it was hard to talk. "Daddy?"

There was no answer. She had no idea what time it was, and she was not about to tempt fate and wiggle her nose to get the answer. So she did what any child, mortal or witch, would do. She swung her legs over her bed and padded out of her room to look for her parents.

Their bedroom door was open, so Tabitha figured that while it was past her bedtime it was not that late, and her parents were still downstairs. She quietly came to the top of the stairs and slowly, one leg at a time, crept down to the first floor. The television, which was by the end of the stairway, was on, but the living room was empty. Her parents were pretty strict when it came to Tabitha's TV time, but curiosity took over and the little witch stopped to see what her parents watched. She could hear some voices and the sound of a tea kettle whistle coming from the kitchen. Assured that her parents would appear soon and take care of her out of sorts feeling, she walked closer to the screen. It was frozen, something she knew her mother arranged if she had to leave the room and she did not want to miss anything.

She stepped back, gazed at the screen for a moment, and pointed her finger. "Doctor Bombay," Tabitha croaked. And without thinking of the consequences, after all she was only four, she put her finger on her nose and twitched.

"I really think that Schultz knows more than nothing." Samantha smiled as she finished fixing her cup of tea. "Darling, do you want some of those oatmeal raisin cookies I baked?"

"I'll take two." Darrin Stephens handed his wife a plate and then the couple left the kitchen. Both came to a dead stop at the dining room table.

"Tabitha, what's wrong?"

"I dote feel well, Mommy." Tabitha turned. "But I called Doctor Bobbay."

Darrin dropped the plate. Fortunately, the plate was corelle. It wasn't a large drop and it landed safely on the dining room table.

"Oh my stars!" Samantha quickly grabbed Darrin's mug and placed it on the dining room table next to hers.

Hogan, his four top operatives, and the disaster of a colonel who outranked him by several months, were all standing in the living room. Behind them were Kommandant Klink and Sergeant Schultz.

"That…that's not Bombay." Darrin grabbed the edge of a chair in an all too familiar effort to prevent collapse.

"I daresay. Who is this Doctor Bombay?" The British officer went up to Samantha and bowed. "Colonel Crittendon at your service, Madame."

"What the heck is going on here?" Hogan crept up besides Crittendon.

Behind the Allied soldiers, Schultz was quickly looking around at this new environment. He knew monkey business when he saw it, but this? Even Hogan didn't have this kind of power. One second he was in the camp and the next? "Kommandant…where are we?"

"Hooogaann! Is this one of your tricks?" Klink shook his fist. "I swear I will throw all of you in the cooler!"

"We were all in the barracks. How did you two get here?" Kinch asked, shaking his head as if to clear out the cobwebs.

"Commercial break!" Samantha's hand moved so quickly, the air molecules remained inert; and so, thankfully, did the characters.

"Samantha, do something!"

"I will, Darrin." She placed her hand on Tabitha's forehead. "She's very warm." Samantha looked at her daughter and shook her head. "What's wrong sweetheart?"

"I dote feel well." Tabitha pouted then sneezed. "My throat hurts, and my nodes is running." She sneezed again, and wiped her nose on her pajama sleeve.

Darrin melted. He took one look at Tabitha and stated, "It looks like a cold. I'll get some tissues."

"Well, we have to be sure, just in case." Samantha frowned.

"Look Mommy, I called the Doctor Bobbay," Tabitha repeated.

"Tabitha, stay here." Samantha and Darrin left Tabitha at the dining room table and then walked by the British colonel.

Darrin stared at the man. "I don't see the resemblance."

"Weeellllll?" Samantha shrugged her shoulders. "Tabitha thought so and popped him in, along with everyone else on the screen. Plus, those two." She pointed at Klink and Schultz. "I don't think they will stay frozen for long. That's odd. Kinch wasn't even in the scene. Why did Hogan say they were in the barracks?"

"Why?" Darrin asked. "Wait one second." Darrin rushed into the kitchen and dumped his tea in the sink. He came back to the living area and poured himself a drink. "Why?"

"Tabitha brought them here. She has control." Samantha sighed. "You'd think after all these years I wouldn't have to explain these things," she muttered to herself. "Tabitha, you need to send these people back into the television. I know you think they look the same, but that's not Doctor Bombay. And I'll call on him as soon as I can. But these nice men don't belong here."

"Okay, Mommy." Tabitha, who for a long time accepted multiple explanations for the unusual goings on in their home, gave her nose a twitch. "Achoo." She tried again. Nothing. And then she began to cry. "I can't. My chest hurts. And Daddy will get mad."

Samantha looked at Darrin and made one motion with her head. Her husband dutifully came over to his daughter and picked her up. "Daddy's not mad. You didn't know. Mommy will take care of it."

Tabitha laid her head on her father's shoulder.

"Calling Dr. Bom…." It was too late. Samantha's freezing spell melted and the entire crew came to life. Again. It was as if the film never stopped.

"I don't know how we got here, Kommandant." Colonel Hogan looked around at his surroundings. He raised his eyebrows and tilted his head. For the first time, he realized he was not in Kansas anymore. "What the heck?" For some reason, although he wanted to say it, he couldn't say hell, or anything stronger for that matter.

"It's a Gestapo trick," Samantha quickly said. "Hoffstetler?"

"Hochstetter. I knew it." Klink walked over to the beautiful blond woman standing in front of the group. "He's crazy. Always out to get me. He's not here is he?" Frantically, Klink turned around.

"Blimey!" Newkirk was staring at one of the most beautiful homes he had ever seen. The living room was large and very tidy. There was a sofa; he didn't care for the style. A coffee table and two chairs on the other side completed the seating area. A brick wall at the end of the room featured a lovely fireplace and mantel, and there were two large bookcases on each end. And the woman. "Corporal Newkirk at your service, me lady. Jack of all trades," he whispered and winked.

"Newkirk! Get back over here. That's an order," Hogan demanded. Newkirk stepped back a few paces. "She's probably Gestapo," Hogan hissed.

"Nice place, Wot?" Crittendon walked right up to the woman. After all, she appeared to be in charge of this so called trick. He was finding it to be quite a nice one. He shook the cobwebs out of his head. "I'm the highest ranking officer here, Madam. So, if you will kindly tell me what is going on?"

An angry Hogan wedged himself between Crittendon and Klink. "Can it, Crittendon. I'm in charge, Lady, or whoever you are. We all must have been drugged," he whispered to Klink.

"Yes, I would agree. Schultz?"

Schultz was seated at the dining room table, eating some delicious homemade cookies. Wiping his mouth, he scurried over. "This is a very nice setup for the Gestapo."

"Never mind the set-up, Schultz," Hogan said. "I don't believe I've seen Hochstetter recently. We are either having a mass hallucination, or as I said, we were somehow drugged and removed from camp. That seems to be the most obvious answer to this kidnapping." He looked at Samantha and smiled. "What do you think?"

I think my blood pressure just increased, Samantha thought to herself. The character certainly had a magnetic charm and it was even worse in person.

Meanwhile, the ever cool, calm, and collected Kinch was exploring their comfortable prison. His experienced eyes gazed over the entire room. The sergeant began running his fingers around the walls, the lamps, and the furniture, and quickly discovered that no obvious bugs were present. His attention then focused on the television. He had seen pictures of these appliances before, although he had never seen one in person. This one was much larger but it was still the same shape and was pretty obvious as to its function. He walked over to it. The screen was blank but one of the two knobs had numbers on it. Like any curious man with a scientific mind, he turned the knob.

He paused to watch a pretty blond lady-with two cute kids and a dog-talking to a handsome British man, whom she claimed was a ghost.

"What the heck is that?" Carter asked. "Why is it in English?"

Klink turned and responded to Carter. "Our superior German engineering and scientific achievements, of course. Obviously this is here to demoralize you and to make you realize that the war is lost."

"Balderdash," Crittenden said.

Samantha hurried over. "Put that back to the other channel." She turned the knob; revealing a blank screen. "Don't touch this," she ordered.

Kinch mumbled something and then resumed his exploration of his surroundings. Carter joined him and they came across a small magazine placed on the end table next to the couch. Kinch picked it up. His mouth dropped open. "Colonel Hogan, I need to see you right now."

Hogan walked over.

"Look at the magazine." Kinch handed Hogan the publication. "Look at the date, sir."

Hogan stared at the date and paled. "TV Guide? This is some trick," he whispered to Kinch and Carter.

Samantha's attention had turned to her daughter. She hurried over to her husband who was still holding Tabatha in his arms. "Tabitha," she said softly. "Can you please try again?"

The little girl nodded and she tried again, to no avail.

"Darrin, keep an eye on our visitors. I have no choice." Samantha went into the kitchen and spoke in a louder voice. "Calling Doctor Bombay, emergency come right away! Calling Doctor Bombay, emergency come right away!"

Samantha's family doctor appeared in a flash. "Please state the nature of your emergency," he said.

Samantha stepped back. "That's an odd thing to say."

Her family doctor was dressed in jeans, a T-shirt and a comfortable sweater. It looked like she just removed him from a quiet evening at home.

"I was watching a TV program from the future," he stated. "I became quite fond of a doctor in that program, but never mind. I put it on pause. It's saved in my DVR. A most wonderful invention."

"Tabitha is sick and we think it may be a human cold, but we're not sure and we have another problem." Samantha walked over to the door and opened it several inches.

Bombay stepped out and took a look at the tableau in the living room. "Those are the men from Hogan's Heroes," he stated. "Tabitha twitched them in?" he asked as the two left the kitchen and walked into the living area.

Samantha nodded her head. "She thought that man was you." She pointed at Crittendon.

The two doppelgängers circled each other. Bombay turned around and said. "I'm sorry, but I do not see the resemblance."

"Neither do I," said Crittendon.

Carter who was standing by, said, "Well, I think that is up for interpretation."

"Where did this man come from?" Hogan asked. "And what is he doing here?"

"The kitchen," Samantha replied. "He came from the kitchen."

Everyone began talking at once. Darren put Tabitha down, and stepped back. The little girl sneezed.

"I'm Doctor Bombay and there's a little girl who is sick. Will everyone please shut up!"

All turned towards Tabitha, and the crew from Stalag 13 realized that in all this time they had not noticed that there was a sick child in the room.

"Oh, that is too bad." The crowd parted for Schultz. "I have five children. Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Not at the moment." Bombay had a soft spot for Schultz. "Samantha, why don't you and Tabitha come with me into the kitchen." He looked at Darrin, who returned the doctor's gaze with an unfriendly look back. "You." He pointed to Darrin. "Stay with them."

"That's just great. This evening is getting better and better." Darrin stood by the couch and glared at the characters. "Well, at least no one else is here, and Sam and I don't have to come up with a grand advertising plan at the spur of the moment to fool Larry and his latest client."

Carter, who had great hearing despite all the explosions, stepped forward. "You're in advertising? That's really, really neat. Gee. I love the ads on the radio. They're so clever. Sometimes they're better than the show you're listening to. You must be super-talented."

"Well, I do other kinds of advertising," Darrin, now caught up in the compliments, replied. He then caught himself. "No talking or questions." He looked back towards the kitchen, hoping for a miracle cure.

"It's definitely a human cold," Bombay told Samantha. Tabitha was propped up on a counter, looking miserable. Samantha held a small trash can, which was now filled with dirty tissues. "Normally, they let it run its course. And they recommend lots of homemade chicken soup. Called Jewish penicillin." He laughed.

"But what about our visitors?" Samantha waited for Tabitha to drop another tissue in the can. "Here's a clean one, sweetheart."

Tabitha took the tissue and attempted to blow her nose.

"I don't know why she can't send them back. The cold is interfering with her powers, obviously. Perhaps because her nose and sinuses are so stuffed." He tsked. "Run a hot shower, close the door, and let her inhale the steam. I'm sure she'll be able to send them back once her head clears. Call me again if it doesn't work."

"I'll have Darrin see to that, while I handle our TV stars." After Bombay disappeared, Sam picked up Tabitha and put her on the floor. Just as they were about to leave the room, the door opened, revealing LeBeau and a frustrated Darrin following two steps behind him.

"I'm sorry, Sam. I couldn't stop him." Darrin looked around. "He's gone?" he mouthed.

Sam nodded. "Hot shower and have her sit in the steam. We need to get her unclogged. And chicken soup."

LeBeau made a little bow. "I'm a trained professional chef, Madame. I would be happy to make homemade chicken soup for la petite.

"That's kind of you, corporal." Sam turned to Darrin. "Take her upstairs and run the shower. I'll babysit our visitors." She looked at LeBeau. The French corporal was her favorite character. She couldn't explain why. It possibly had something to do with the actor, who didn't seem to age. His spunk, his height, his accent. "Everything you need is in the refrigerator." She shrugged at Darrin and then out of sight of the two of them, she wiggled her nose. LeBeau opened the door to the fridge; in front of him was a large soup chicken, vegetables and herbs.

LeBeau clapped his hands in delight. "Ah, but this will take time, I'm afraid. You can't rush these things."

"I understand. There's a large soup pot under there." She pointed to the cabinet. "And dry spices, etcetera are in the cabinet above the counter; next to the sink.

"Merci."

Leaving LeBeau safely in the kitchen, she hurried into the living room.

Everyone was talking loudly at once.

"Quiet!" Sam let out a whistle. Once there was silence, she said, "Here's the truth. There is no Gestapo trick. You're…"

The crowd gasped as Samantha's mother popped in next to her.

"Mother."

"I heard my granddaughter is ill. Of course, I came to help. Oh." Endora realized there was company. "What have we here?"

"How did she get here?" Hogan rubbed his eyes and then cupped his forehead in exasperation.

"I'm either seeing things, or she just popped in," Kinch, who stood next to Hogan, said.

Sam's mother sidled up next to Hogan and rubbed his shoulder. "And you are Colonel Hogan, I presume? You're more handsome in person."

"I'm…I'm. She's your mother?" he squeaked.

"I see nothing," Schultz added. He felt he had to say that. It was in his blood.

Endora then walked over to Kinch. The sergeant gulped. "Oh, my," she commented as she circled around Hogan's right-hand man.

"Shut up," Klink ordered Schultz. This had to be a trick, he thought. The Gestapo. Hogan couldn't pull this off. He was a POW, after all.

Sam walked over and grabbed Endora by the arm.

"The short one is missing. The Frenchman," Endora stated.

"He's making chicken soup for Tabitha."

"Poor little one. What is wrong?" Endora doted on her granddaughter. She then totally ignored the characters. She would get back to them later.

"Cold."

"Oh, those human viruses. I take it this is Tabitha's doing?" she asked, pointing at the befuddled group of men.

Sam nodded. Sighing, she explained. "Tabitha thought Colonel Crittendon was Doctor Bombay."

Endora nodded and then walked over to a stunned Crittendon. She stared at him for a moment. "I don't see the resemblence. Do you realize, Colonel Crittendon, that you should be a group captain?"

"Mother," Sam hissed. She gave Crittendon a smile and grabbed Endora by the arm, moving the two of them several feet away. "Doctor Bombay thinks she'll be able to pop them back once her head clears."

"Wot?" Crittendon scratched his head. "You know, chaps; I do believe that woman is correct."

"Don't let it get to your head," Hogan grumbled.

"I'll go upstairs," Endora told Samantha. She gave the man a small wave, and because of the household conditions, Endora walked up the stairs instead of popping up.

Author's notes at the end of Chapter 2.