Running Blind

A/N: I did it again. I wrote an episode coda. The thought of leaving Danny alone on that desolated road made me physically sick so I had to do something about it.

Whatever your thoughts are on the episode, I think we can all agree that Scott did a phenomenal job with the script that was handed to him. Even Alex portraying a super anxious Steve was painful to watch. So here's what I imagine happened an indefinite time later. Let me know what you think.

Also, I haven't read any of the other codas out there so I wouldn't be influenced. Hope mine is somewhat different from what's already been posted.

Can't find the answers
I've been crawling on my knees
Looking for anything
To keep me from drowning

- Running Blind (Godsmack)

"Sir? Sir, are you alright? Sir, can you hear me?"

Danny heard the voice filter through his thoughts. He did not move, classifying it as white noise and pushing it to the back of his mind. It took him a while to react to it, to understand that it was him they wanted to engage.

He blinked, slowly raised his head. There was a young man crouched next to him dressed in a paramedic uniform, a stethoscope around his neck.

"Are you hurt?" the EMT asked.

Danny looked down at his bloodied hands, turned them to inspect the equally scraped, stained palms.

"Sir?"

His gaze wandered from his dirt-stained jeans to the grass surrounding him. He was sitting by the side of the road, feet dangling over a steep incline. "I'm..." he tried as the memories hit him and he bowed his head again. "She's..."

Dead.

She was dead and he didn't even know her name.

The young man offered him a sympathetic smile.

"Firefighters are pulling her out of the car. You can ride with us to the hospital."

"I don't need to go to the hospital," he replied with a wave of the hand.

"I think you should. You need to get that cut on your face stitched, and the way you're holding your side tells me you've got at least a couple of busted ribs."

"I'm fine," he insisted before a harsh laugh escaped his lips. He was anything but fine and he knew it. That's why he'd wanted to get away from everyone, from the crash site and the woman's dead eyes staring back at him.

The paramedic's brows furrowed as he held out one hand. "Sir, let me help you."

A shiver ran down Danny's spine. He was cold, he realized. The spot he'd chosen shaded him from direct sunlight, and he had no idea how long he'd been sitting there. Could've been minutes or hours.

Right now, he just didn't care.

Propping one hand on the ground he accepted the help and got to his feet, hissing in pain as soon as his right foot touched the ground."

"Can you walk?"

He nodded and started to limp towards the emergency vehicles. With every step, the heaviness in his heart grew bigger and bigger and the nausea clutching his stomach stronger and stronger until he collapsed to his knees and threw up, the sour taste of the bile mixing with the saltiness of his tears.

"Commander McGarrett, this is Sandy from dispatch."

Steve wasn't sure he remembered Sandy, but was grateful for the interruption. Adam showing up at his doorstep and acting like everything was fine was the last thing he expected, especially on a day like this where his mind was consumed by Eddie's pain and his anxiety level already through the roof.

"Uhm, hi Sandy, what can I do for you?"

"We just got an emergency call from Detective Williams and, well, you know how you said to notify you when something happens that involves your team..."

Quinn, Adam and Tani watched his face turn three shades of pale as the words 'emergency' and 'Detective Williams' echoed in his brain. "What? When?" he asked, gripping the phone tightly against his ear.

"A few minutes ago."

"Where is he?"

"Waianae Valley Road, about a mile past Haleahi. He requested an ambulance for life-threatening injuries. Probably a car accident."

Ambulance

Life-threatening injuries...

He swallowed hard, mustering up the courage to ask what he needed to know but wasn't ready to hear. "Is he... is he hurt?"

"I'm not sure," the woman replied, and his heart rate spiked even higher. "He did mention that the injured person was a female. We sent a paramedic unit to his location along with the fire department and a patrol car."

Steve released the breath he'd been holding.

That was good.

Danny wasn't dying.

He leaned against the recliner, grasping the back with his free hand to keep himself upright.

'I am sitting at a bar right now with a very pretty lady.

Get this, she actually came up to me.'

Oh, God...

"I'll be right there. Thank you, Sandy, I appreciate you calling me."

"You're welcome, Commander. I hope Detective Williams is alright."

Yeah, me too.

He put the phone back into his pocket and stared at the three expectant faces in front of him. "I, uh... something's happened to Danny. I gotta go." Barely focusing on their replies, he started heading towards the front door then stopped, turning around. "Would you guys..."

"Of course," Quinn immediately nodded. "We'll stay here with Eddie for as long as you need."

Even before he got out of the truck, the first thing Steve heard when he got to the accident site was Danny's voice yelling at the paramedics that were trying to sit him on the back of the ambulance.

He was beside him in an instant, putting himself between his friend and the emergency workers.

"Danny? Hey, hey buddy, it's alright. I'm here, alright?"

The blond didn't even seem to register his presence at first as he continued to scream at them to leave him alone. Steve motioned everyone out of the way and put both hands on his shoulders, leaning forward so that he was at eye level. Part of him was relieved to see Danny moving and talking, but there was something off about his demeanor that scared him to the core.

"Danny, look at me," he tried again. "It's alright, they're just doing their job. They just want to check you out, alright?"

Danny stilled, going almost limp in Steve's arms. A moment later, the blank stare disappeared and awareness set in. Along with that, all the desperation he was feeling.

"She's dead..." he whispered in a quiet, broken voice.

Trying to conceal his emotions and the heartbreak that was about to swallow him whole, Steve pulled him into a hug. "I'm sorry, man. I'm so sorry..." They stayed like that for a few moments, drawing strength from each other. When the firefighters carrying the woman's body walked past them, his hand cradled his friend's head against his shoulder and he hugged him even tighter, shielding him from the sight.

"I'm fine," Danny muttered into his chest after a while, though he made no attempt to squirm out of the embrace. "Tell them… tell them I'm fine."

Steve knew better but chose not to reply, leading him towards the HPD cruiser instead and sitting him down in the passenger seat.

"Give me a sec, alright? Just one second and I'll be right back."

He drew the paramedic's attention and took him aside while he continued to keep an eye on Danny who was staring at his lap, still as a statue.

"How is he?"

The EMT crossed his arms over his chest. "No serious injuries that I can see, but he won't let me check on him. He's in shock, I found him on the side of the road about half a mile from here. Other than that, he's got scrapes and bruises, a few busted ribs, and a twisted ankle."

Steve nodded, pursed his lips. Shock. That explained the vacant look in his friend's eyes and the anger he had witnessed. "Thank you. I'll make sure he gets checked out."

Exhaling loudly, he walked back to the car, stopping a few feet from it to stare at the anguish plastered on Danny's face. He had been right there just a few months ago, numb and dazed by the shock of losing yet another person he cared about. He knew exactly what the man was going through, knew just how much it hurt and how guilty he probably felt for not being able to save her.

Despite not knowing the details of the accident, Steve was positive Danny had done everything he could, and he was determined to help him get through it.

Unsurprisingly, his partner didn't even flinch when he approached him. He just stared ahead, posture defeated, like he wasn't even there.

"Hey, Danny, how about we get out of here?"

Danny's right hand twitched in response.

"Buddy?"

"You need to find him," he finally replied, standing up and grabbing Steve's bicep when the pain in his ankle flared up again. "You need to find the guy who did this. Like you found the son of a bitch that ran Grace off the road. It was a... it was a gray, dark gray sedan, last three digits of the plate 724."

His voice was flat and distant, a mechanic monotone that cut into the former SEAL's heart.

"Okay."

Shaky fingers curled around the fabric of Steve's shirt. "Please find him."

"We will, Danny. We'll find him. I promise."

A fresh wave of tears stung Danny's eyes.

He had promised.

He'd told her she would live.

And now she was in a body bag on the way to the morgue.

"It didn't stop..." he whispered, so softly Steve barely heard him.

"What?"

"First car didn't stop. I could've saved her... Why didn't it stop?"

There was nothing he could say to that, so Steve just cleared his throat beside him. "Come on, let's get you out of here."

The fist clutching his shirt became a flat palm pressed against his chest. "No, I'm not... I'm not leaving her alone."

"Danny, we have to go."

He jerked away, backed off unsteadily. "I said I'm not leaving her alone!"

The outburst reminded Steve of his own reaction when they had tried to take his mother's body away from him so he nodded in understanding and put a steadying hand on his friend's shoulder.

"Okay. I'll follow you in the car, alright?"

Danny nodded, his gaze locked on the ambulance and the black plastic bag holding the woman of his dreams.

There was blood on his shoes.

It wasn't much, but it would be a bitch to clean and it bothered him.

So Danny took them off.

He dumped them in one of the garbage cans in the trauma room and walked all the way to the parking lot wearing only his socks.

If it was up to him he would've kept walking, just like he'd done on that empty road in the middle of nowhere. Without thinking about what he was doing or where he was going. One foot in front of the other, pushing himself forward to try and clear his head and make sense of the senseless tragedy that had shaken his world right when he'd thought there could be hope in it.

His cut had been stitched, his ribs taped, and yet he felt as miserable as he had been out there. Too many thoughts running through his brain, too many emotions he couldn't sort through.

Despair. Hopelessness. Rage.

A life had been lost, a good person had died and for what?

Why was it always the good ones who had to suffer? Why was it always... him?

He had lost two partners, a brother, nearly both of his kids. When was life going to give him a break?

Raking a hand through his hair, Danny spotted the Camaro and veered towards it.

His hand reached for the keys in his pocket and he stopped, becoming aware simultaneously that he didn't have them and that he hadn't driven to the hospital. The paramedics had given him a ride because he'd insisted he wouldn't leave the woman alone.

The woman... it felt so weird to refer to her as a stranger when they'd shared so many secrets and intimate moments.

He looked around, feeling lost and alone, and eventually sat down on a nearby curb, head between his hands.

His thoughts started to wander again and he lost track of time until another voice, soft and concerned, slowly brought him back.

"Danny? Hey, man, I've been looking all over for you. What are you doing here?"

Steve had left him alone for five minutes to sign his discharge papers and when he'd come back into the room, his partner was no longer there.

Danny frowned, gave him a puzzled look.

Wasn't it obvious?

"I, uh... I just wanted to go home. Thought I'd wait for you in the car, but... realized I didn't have the keys."

Steve tried to swallow past the lump in his throat, maneuvered his body so that he was sitting next to him. "That's not your car, buddy. Your car is in the shop, remember? That's why you were driving a rental."

Oh...

He had forgotten all about it.

'I guess I'm gonna get in a strange man's car.'

'You are gonna get in a strange man's midsize rental.'

'Wow. A midsize rental.'

'Yeah. But it came with a beautiful, uh, tropical air freshener.'

He met his best friend's gaze, held onto it so he wouldn't get lost again. "I didn't even know her name..."

"We'll find out who she was," Steve reassured him. "They're towing the car to the impound, HPD will examine it as soon as it gets there."

Danny nodded.

"I want to, uh... ask Noelani to call me when they come to claim her body."

Steve wasn't sure it was a good idea, but wasn't going to deny his partner the closure he needed. "Okay. Let me know when she does, I'll go with you."

They both fell silent after that, the quiet stretching around and surrounding them like a blanket. Danny searched his mind for something to say, finding only fragments of thoughts and splinters of words.

Then his heart did it for him.

"We had sex, you know? In the bathroom. Like two horny teenagers." He couldn't help the smile on his face at the memories of his hands roaming all over her body and her lips trailing kisses down his face. "I don't hook up with women in bars, but she… there was something about her. We could've been happy together."

If Steve was surprised by the news he didn't show it, just gave his friend's knee a supportive pat. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you..."

"There's nothing you could've done, Steve, except maybe turn back time and ask me to come home instead. She would be alive if she hadn't met me..."

"Don't do that," Steve warned.

"She bled out, right in front of me, and there was nothing I could do." His voice rose as grief and fury flared up. "I saw the life fade away from her eyes and couldn't do a damn thing to stop it!"

"I'm sure she knew it wasn't your fault."

Danny shook his head.

'You're a good guy...'

Was he?

"You know what she asked? She said... 'are you always this unlucky?' And I'm thinking she's right, that she was right, because..." His hand flew to his mouth to cover the anguished cry that sneaked its way past his lips.

Steve held up a hand to stop him. "Danny, that is not true."

"No? Because I think it is true, and now my bad luck is spreading to anyone who comes near me."

"Stop saying that. It was an accident, doesn't define who you are." Steve dragged his hand over his face, then lowered it down unconsciously to the scar on his chest. "If anything, I'm the unlucky one. I mean, have you seen my life?"

Danny's mouth curved slightly upwards.

Another good person who'd had more than his share of trauma.

"Yeah, I guess you've had it worse than I have..." he said, squeezing Steve's thigh.

A car horn blared nearby, reminding them they were still sitting on the curb. The sun had almost completely set, the darkening sky slowly stealing away all the colors of the day.

"What do you say we go home, huh?" Steve asked softly, feeling just as drained and emotionally weary as his friend looked. "It's been a long day."

Danny covered Steve's hand with his own. "Yeah. Yeah, let's go home."

THE END