Someone once wrote a fanfic about a Lavender Brown who was completely anime obsessed and decided, 'screw Harry Potter, I'll be the hero!' and I can't find it anywhere! If anyone has any idea what I'm talking about, please comment or PM me.

This story is based off of Fate Stay Night Unlimited Bladeworks the Abdriged. Lavender has basically taken on the crazy Rin role, Parvati is taking on the passive aggressive Sakura role, and Snape is sort of Archer but not.

Anyways, if you haven't seen Unlimited Bladworks Abridged, go check it out on Youtube. It is a masterpiece!

I do not own Harry Potter, nor do I own Fate Stay Night Unlimited Bladeworks abridged or otherwise.

"Ugh…what the fuck did I drink last night?" Lavender opened her tired eyes.

The clattering and motion wasn't letting her go back to sleep.

Wait…what?

Lavender bolted up into a stand. She looked around in confusion in an empty train compartment.

But…more importantly, had the compartments on the Hogwarts Express always been this big?

Further…hadn't she been mulled by a werewolf and killed?

She looked back over to the window, staring out at her ghostly reflection in the glass.

"Uh…I'm a midget again."
She looked like she was eleven-years-old…give or take.

"Oh. Right. I forgot about this thing." Lavender scrunched her nose, noticing the bow tied in her hair.

Her aunt made her wear those weird hairbows all the time when she was younger.

Lavender plunked down in her seat.

She'd died…and now she was eleven…on the Hogwarts Express…

What the fuck…What the fuck!?

"Gha! This isn't happening! Is it? Did we lose? Did we win?" She pulled at her hair.

Okay…well, if Harry Potter didn't kill Voldemort, then she was just going to have to do it herself!

Come to think of it, Harry hadn't seemed all that motivated in school…Maybe she should push him! Like in those sports anime she always watched.

Lavender sprung up, a determined look on her face.

Whether it was her or Harry who got to him first, Voldemort was going down!

The compartment door opened up and a young Parvati Patil came in.

"Hi, I'm –"

"Can't talk, gotta find my rival. I'll be back soon though." Lavender said quickly, "Just wait here!"

Parvati watched as Lavender Brown ran off into the halls.

"Weird…" She murmured, then quickly shrugged it off and took a seat.

Lavender looked through the small windows on the doors into the different compartments.

Not Harry Potter…Not Harry Potter…Not Harry Potter…Where had he been sitting again?

Haha!
She came across Draco Malfoy and his goons standing at a door.

"…You must be a Weasley."
Lavender figured that must be Harry's compartment. He was always complaining about how Malfoy had been visiting him during the train rides.

Weird.

Lavender's eyes widened. Was he trying to establish himself as Harry's rival before she did?

No. She would not allow it!

"One hundred percent maximum no chill!"

She ran up to the blond boy and jumped into a flying kick, sending him back nearly three feet! Draco Malfoy landed on his ass.

"Ouch! Who are you? Do you know who you just kicked?!" Malfoy hissed at her.

Lavender ignored him.

Haha! It was Harry! He was looking at Lavender in confusion.

"You're Harry Potter!" Lavender pointed at him.

"Er…yes?" The stunned eleven-year-old was looking at her in bewilderment.

"My name is Lavender Brown and I've decided that you are now my rival!"

"Er…rival?" Harry wondered.

"You think you can just go around defeating every Dark Lord that rises, do you? Well I'll be defeating the next one. Make no mistake!"
"Uh…" Was Harry's confused reply.

"Are you insane!?" Malfoy shouted at her.

Lavender sent him a smirk. She'd gotten to Harry before him.

"I win." She mouthed to him.
Malfoy then mirrored Harry's expression.

Oh, that was Ron, Lavender noted the baffled red-headed boy sitting across from Harry.

Ugh. For some reason she still felt annoyed at him.

She hadn't really loved him or anything. She'd kind of been hoping to use him for some naked fun time, but the idiot just wouldn't take the hint!

"You!" She pointed at Ron who tensed up, "Learn to read social cues! And for Merlin's sakes, when a girl says she wants to go to a broom cupboard with you with chocolate sauce and whipped cream, it means more than snogging!"

"Ha?" Ron wondered, "What the bloody hell are you talking about!?"

Lavender sent him a glare. She then turned her dark look to Crabbe and Goyle before sending Malfoy one last look.

"Stay out of my way, Malfoy. Harry Potter is my rival, you got it? Not yours. Mine. Try and get in my way and you'll regret it."

"Are you threatening me? My father will – Ah!" Malfoy let out a scream as Lavender grabbed him by his ear, forcing him into a stand.

She then whispered something.

Malfoy let out a very unmanly squeak as Lavender let go of his ear, then ran away.

Lavender smirked as she watched him leave. She then turned back to Harry.

"You got it, Potter?!" She pointed back at the boy, "I will defeat you in every school subject! You'd best prove yourself worthy!"

She then turned on her heals and walked away.

"What…was that?" Harry wondered baffled as the girl named Lavender Brown left them.

"Beats me, mate. Bloody bonkers she is." Ron shook his head, "She's probably just crazy or something."
"Right…" Harry trailed off.

So far, all the magicals he'd met seemed to be a little on the crazy side. Save maybe for Ron.

….

00000000000000000

….

Lavender returned to her compartment and beamed at Parvati.

"Hi, there! I'm Lavender Brown. A first-year witch. I love fashion, design, anime, and I'm adorable as all hell. Please to meet you!"
Parvati smiled at her, then tilted her head to the side in confusion,

"What's anime?"

….

000

…..

Parvati was a half-blood, much like Lavender. However, unlike Lavender, Parvati was mostly ignorant of the muggle world.

Lavender's father had been a half-blood. Her mother was a muggleborn. They had close ties to the non-magical world. Lavender, when she was young, had turned on the tele and grown up watching Sailor Moon during her summers. One of her neighbours had to explain to her what Anime was and that, of course had opened Lavender's eyes to a whole new world.

Had Sailor Moon even started airing yet? When did the Shin Cutie Honey OVAs originally come out again? Devil Man was fucking awesome but the English dub was trash. Yu Yu Hakushou was greatly overshadowed by Dragon Ball (a real shame), and let's not forget Slayers, Fishigi Yugi, Wedding Peach, Orphan, and Ghost in the Shell to name a few of her favourites.

Anyways, back on track, Parvati had a half-blood mother and a pureblood father. She had few connections to the non-magical world and was just as ignorant as most purebloods.

Lavender had taken on the responsibility (in both timelines) to educate her on important matters such as whether Hiei and Kurama ought to be shipped, whether Wedding Peach is really just a Sailor Moon knock off (it's not), and the importance of fanservice.

Of course, Parvati was eleven and now Lavender had to educated her all over again! It was a pain, but…maybe it was best to indoctrinate her young.

Lavender contemplated the pros and cons of her unique situation while Hagrid led the first years to the entrance under the castle.

After McGonagall led them to the chamber to wait for her return, the students started chatting amongst themselves nervously.

"How do you think we'll get sorted?" Harry asked Ron nervously.

"I don't know but, Fred and George said it really hurt." Ron shifted, looking back at Harry uncertainly.

Fred and George were jerks, Lavender thought.

"Fred said we have to fight a troll!" Ron bit his lower lip.

Hermione was reciting various spells under her breath.

Good Merlin! Did that girl already know the entire Hogwarts curriculum?

But she did stop to respond to Ron's declaration.

"I doubt we'll be fighting a troll." She said, "We're only first years."
"You'd be surprised. Wait a few months." Lavender said absently.

Hermione shot Lavender a strange look,

"What do you mean by that?"

It was then that the ghosts came in to subtly but not so subtly warn all the first years about Peeves the poltergeist.

McGonagall eventually came in, scaring the ghosts away.

She had them all line up in pairs. Lavender stood beside Parvati as they walked into the great hall.

They piled by the corner of the teachers table awaiting for the hat to sing.

It was the same song, Lavender noted.

She looked over at Harry as they all clapped.

Would the hat sort her again? If it did, what house should she go to? Gryffindor like before where she could keep a closer eye on Harry? Or another house where she could heat up their rivalry?

"Brown, Lavender!" McGonagall called out.

Curse her family name for being so close to the beginning of the alphabet! She hadn't had time to decide!
You do realize it's my decision, right? The sorting hat said as it was placed over her head.

Lavender crossed her arms stubbornly.

Hm…tricky. A good mind, incredibly impulsive though. I'm sensing some very round-about logic in that head of yours. Yet, it seems you mostly have good intentions.

Lavender gave a mental huff.

What was that supposed to mean?

Yes…better be…

"Gryffindor!" The hat declared out loud.

Well, it seemed the hat had made its decision, regardless of what she wanted (and she still didn't know what she wanted anyways).

The hat was removed from Lavender's head and she quickly made her way to the Gryffindor table.

There were no surprises, yet again. She knew where everyone was supposed to go.

Lavender mentally wondered what sort of affect her presence would have on the timeline. Was her being here really a good thing? Like…what if she messed something up and Harry died?

He had faced Voldemort, a basilisk, acromantula and dementors if the rumors were true.

She didn't doubt they were true, actually.

Why else would Harry be that good at casting a patronus?
Harry's sorting took a long time, Lavender observed. She'd nearly forgotten about that. Though why had it taken so long? It seemed a bit peculiar. Did that mean the hat wanted to place him in another house? Which house had been considered?

"Gryffindor!" The hat decided at last.

They all clapped as Harry made his way to the Gryffindor table. The applause he received was the loudest and most enthusiastic.

The Weasley twins were jumping up and down, "We got Potter! We got Potter!" They cried happily.

It struck Lavender then that…she really didn't know anything about Harry.

He was supposed to be the one to save everyone but…he was also a stranger.

Screw that! She was going to be the one to defeat Voldemort this time!

Harry had already done it all, so far as she was concerned. And if she was going to mess up the timeline, then she'd better make sure not as many people died this time around. And there was always the possibility that Harry died because of the deviation.

After singing the Hogwarts song, the first years were all led by the prefects to the Gryffindor common room.

Lavender conked out the moment her head hit the pillow.