My name is Tom. I can't tell you my last name, because I'm in the Yeerk Peace Movement, and if the wrong people find out, they'll kill or infest my friends the Animorphs, and they'll definitely kill my Yeerk.

Up until now, I'd thought that the only Animorph who had been infested was Cassie. She'd befriended Aftran, who was now my Yeerk, in order to save the life of a little girl. That's a story for another time, though. Specifically, the first one in the memoirs that Cassie and I have written, both together and on our own, since I joined the Peace Movement.

Now, though, I just found out that Jake had been infested. Not with a decent Yeerk, but with my first one. Temrash 114, formerly 252.

Naturally, hearing this, I couldn't form a reaction. Couldn't even breathe. Suddenly, I became all too aware Aftran's presence in my mind, and in spite of myself, feared what she was thinking.

(Don't!) I yelled, suddenly.

Unlike other times when I'd suffered through a flashback, or been unable to react in time to seem normal, now, I needed Aftran to not take control. Not even gentle control, when she used my body for me, yet allowed me the ability to "override" her commands.

It had nothing to do with trust, and everything to do with the fact that I needed-that Jake needed-for me to be myself. Especially now.

(I won't, Tom, I promise) she reassured me, gently.

Guilt washed over me. (I'm sorry...)

Aftran hugged me. (It's okay, honey.)

Whether it was the need to act or, perhaps, the comfort of Aftran's mental hug, I felt myself able to breathe more freely. I took a deep breath in, then, slowly, let it out. Aware that Jake was watching me, probably studying me, gauging my reaction to his story.

Before I could speak, he did.

"Tom?" His voice echoed his concern, and I felt his hand suddenly taking mine, holding it tightly. It didn't hurt, but even if it had, I wouldn't have let go. I was glad for the physical contact.

I nodded, still unable to begin. How do you react when your little brother tells you he had been infested? Worse, with your first Yeerk?

So, I took another deep breath, while I tried-again-to process what I'd heard from my kid brother.

Except, the problem wasn't processing. I understood what my little brother had told me. He'd been infested. Not just infested, but by Temrash. Of all the Yeerks to get, it had been him. The one who had controlled me for nearly a year. He must have...

I couldn't even imagine it. Especially after he saw Jake's memories.

The realization hit me, suddenly. Temrash must have tortured my brother.

Acting solely on instinct, I wrapped both my arms around Jake, and squeezed him tight. Too tight, actually. After a few seconds, he began to struggle against me.

Immediately, I let go.

"I'm sorry," I told him.

"Hey, no problem. It was just-I was having trouble breathing," he admitted, not quite looking at me.

Had it been Marco saying that, he would have found a way to make it a joke, but my brother didn't have that particular gift.

"Yeah." I was sure my face had reddened in embarrassment. "I'm sorry, Jake," I repeated.

Jake shrugged, moving a little closer to me. Encouraged, I wrapped an arm around him, still needing to be close to him, but without damaging his lungs. He let out a small sigh, not speaking, just relaxing against me.

"Guess this is better?" I teased.

"Yeah." Out of the corner of my eye, I could see him smiling.

We were quiet for a few minutes. Finally, I broke the silence. "Jake, do you-want to talk about it? It's okay-either way."

A part of me wanted Jake to say no. A larger part of me wanted-needed-to know everything. Every horrible detail of what had transpired. How long Jake had been infested, how he'd managed to escape, what Temrash had done to him. Everything.

(Tom.) Aftran's voice in my head was gentle, placating, even. But insistent.

She wouldn't take control away from me, wouldn't stop me from saying or doing something that would hurt me in the long run.

Still. In her own way, she was warning me to think again before saying or doing anything rash.

Which was, come to think of it, probably more effective than outright taking control from me.

I gave her a mental nod. (I know, Aftran. I won't push him.)

Anyway, Jake might not want to-might not be ready to-tell me everything all at once.

Or ever.

If that was the case, well, I had to be okay with this.

"Y-yeah." Jake nodded his head a little. "But...if..."

"If?" I raised my eyebrows.

"If it won't hurt you to hear about it," he explained. "I mean, you know, flashbacks, and stuff."

When I looked at him, I saw there were tears in his eyes. Jake never cried. Well, not since he was a little kid.

Again, I felt the overwhelming need to protect him. I gave his shoulder a light squeeze. It wasn't enough, not nearly enough. What could I do, what possible words of support could I possibly give to Jake?

Teenager, leader of the resistance against the Yeerk empire notwithstanding, he was my kid brother.

It had always been my job to keep him from getting hurt. Even now.

Except, I couldn't. Because, he already had been hurt.

The worst that could have happened to him, had. If there was one thing I held onto during my time as an involuntary Controller, it was that Jake was free. Oblivious to the war, to what so many people faced under the Yeerks. Ignorance is bliss, and all that.

Then, I'd found out that he was the leader of the so-called "Andalite Bandits". Which had both freaked me out and made me insanely proud.

Okay, fine, so he hadn't been as oblivious as I had imagined. That knowledge had opened up a whole new can of worms, but for the most part, we'd grown closer for it. After all, how could he have saved me, if he hadn't known about the Yeerks? Hadn't been fighting them?

At least, I'd told myself, he'd never been an involuntary host. So, even as he was fighting the Yeerks and dealing with his own inner battles-which I could help him with-he'd never experienced what I had. So, there was that.

Now, my worst nightmare for him had come true. Jake had been infested. Sure, only for three days, but what did that really matter? Three days under Temrash or Gariss must have felt like years at the time.

How could I handle this? Knowing my kid brother had been infested with my first Yeerk? I felt completely inept, almost helpless.

(Tom, you have already done so much for him,) Aftran hugged me again, giving me a mental smile. (Your being with me, instead of a slave to the empire, has helped him greatly. You're fighting together, now, not against each other.)

(Thanks.)

It was true. Not to self aggrandize, but I couldn't underestimate what I could do for Jake, now. Being free, being his older brother. Able to offer support.

Also, I noted, he'd just asked me if I could handle it. I had to respect him just for that.

"Midget." I felt my voice soften. "I can handle whatever you want to tell me. Besides," I added, attempting a joke, "I have help. Which is why you waited, if I recall correctly." I pointed to my head, which got him to crack a smile, and nod.

Jake remained curled up against my shoulder, possibly nestling in deeper. I wrapped my free arm around him, tight enough to provide comfort, but not wanting Jake to feel trapped.

"Right. So, like I said, we were at the clinic, during the battle with the Controllers-I fell into the pool," he began, slowly. "I think I was only half conscious. I don't remember him crawling into my ear, but there was definitely a pain in my head. For awhile, I think, I could still move. Still talk. But I heard his voice in my head, and it took me awhile to figure it out. Too long. He'd taken control by the time I'd known what had happened. Actually," Jake turned to me, wincing, "he told me what had happened."

I groaned internally. I could imagine it. Poor Jake. "Jake. You couldn't have known."

He sort of shrugged against me, looking up at my face. "I mean, Tom, it happened so quickly. Before I knew it, I couldn't do anything. Not move, not even blink. And his voice..." Jake stopped talking. Was he reliving all of this, as he remembered it? "He told me that he'd been your Yeerk. At first, I thought that meant you were free. But, then, he told me that you had been reassigned to another Yeerk."

I could almost envision the interaction. Jake's horror, then momentary relief that I might be free now, followed by despair as he realized I was still a slave.

It occurred to me that, in my head, Aftran hadn't reacted to any of this with surprise. Of course. When she had first infested Cassie, she'd opened up some of her memories. She might have seen others, since then. Probably, this was among them. Your leader getting captured by the Yeerks had to be something that remained at the forefront of your brain.

Especially since she liked him.

(Yes,) she explained, simply. (I knew what happened, Tom. But, only from Cassie's point of view.)

I could have been angry at her. Maybe, in the beginning of our time together, I would have been. But, I wasn't. Okay, she'd known all along, but it wouldn't have been right for Aftran to tell me. It had to come from Jake.

When he'd been ready.

Now.

Well, technically, he'd been ready at the cabin, but didn't want me to go through this without Aftran there.

Poor Jake. I held him a little closer to me, and he let out a little sigh.

(Then, this isn't much of a surprise to you,) I observed.

(To be frank, no. I only met Temrash briefly. We had Hork-Bajir hosts and fought together, before I was promoted to the Visser's guard. I knew that he had a reputation for being particularly unkind to his hosts,) Aftran continued, flinching mentally.

(Unkind,) I repeated, giving Aftran a mental eye roll. (Yeah. That's the empire for you.)

I felt her hug me in response. I hugged her back, but broke it off sooner than I would have, normally. I had to focus my attention back towards Jake. Right now, I was the protective big brother. Not the traumatized former involuntary brother he'd had to save.

With that in mind, I figured it would be best to direct the topic to something-I hoped-would be less traumatic, but still relevant. Besides, it wasn't like I wasn't curious to find out how they'd managed to free him. Believe me, Temrash would have gone straight to Visser Three before anyone could have said "Yeerk invasion". He'd been an empire loyalist to a tee, like so many of his fellow Yeerks, but mostly because if there was a promotion in sight, he'd do anything in his power to obtain it.

"So, um, how'd your friends figure it out?" I asked, partly because this had to be a safe question, but also because I genuinely wanted to know.

"It was Ax." Jake looked up at me, actually smiling. "Somehow, he knew. And Temrash's reaction when he saw him-it was total hate. So, the others decided to keep me tied up until the Yeerk starved."

"That can't have been easy, since you could morph," I mused. "Not like when you rescued me, Midget."

When Gariss had woken up tied to a chair in the shack, surrounded by the so-called Andalite bandits, without so much as a Dracon beam to protect himself, he must have known there was no chance of escape. Unlike Temrash controlling Jake in the same situation. Same location, even.

Jake laughed, almost harshly. "Well, yeah. He morphed several times, but they always managed to stop him."

I gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze. Then, another thought occurred to me. "What about Erek, or the other Chee? Did they try that, to lure him out?"

Erek had already kept one Yeerk as a prisoner, but that hadn't kept him from taking on Gariss. Besides, unless androids went through upgrades and he'd been unable to carry two Yeerks beforehand, surely he would have been able to offer Temrash Kandrona rays, just like Gariss?

Jake shook his head. "That was a few months before we knew about the Chee. So, it was either escape or die, and they couldn't let Temrash escape."

"Did he leave your head before he starved to death?" I'd only heard a little about the details of the fugue, but it was supposed to be the worst kind of pain imaginable for a Yeerk. Since the Kandrona rays literally repaired a Yeerk's body, dying from lack of them had to be like having your body being torn apart. Atom by atom. Most Yeerks would do anything to avoid it.

"No." Jake shrugged, thinking this over. "It's weird. I don't know why he didn't leave when he knew he was going to die. Maybe, he didn't have the strength to leave my head. Maybe, he thought that I'd suffer with him, and he wanted me to." Jake paused, maybe realizing what he'd just said, before adding, "I didn't. Feel any pain, I mean. I was aware of his pain, but it was more like watching something on TV, or seeing someone dying of thirst, but you didn't know them, and you were too far away to help. The fugue didn't hurt me. I was just...waiting."

"Good." That was something, at least. After a short pause, because I had to know, I asked, "Jake. Did he hurt you much?"

Jake didn't reply immediately. "Not a ton, at first. He gloated, mostly. Fantasied a lot about bringing my friends back to Visser Three, and how he'd be promoted."

I snorted. "Typical empire slug."

"But, when I mocked him for that," Jake added, not looking at me, "he played one of my old fantasies. From before the war began."

I winced. "I'm sorry." Then, I added, "You don't have to tell me. If you don't want to."

Jake paused, just for a minute. "No. Like I said, it was stupid. I-I was older, and won a basketball game on a professional level. You and everyone else there congratulated me."

I forced myself not to grin. I could see why Jake would find it embarrassing, especially when a cruel Yeerk was replaying it in his head. The funny part, really, was that whatever praise he'd received in his fantasy would be nothing compared to what kind of honors he'd receive from out government and our military after winning the war.

Which, of course, I had to let him know. "That's nothing compared to the honors you'll receive once you defeat the empire, Jake."

Jake rolled his eyes at me. "Right."

Time to change the subject. "So, um, when'd he tell you that I was his host before you?"

From what I'd known about Temrash, he played his cards close to his chest. It could have been on the second or third day that he'd let it slip. Then again, if he'd wanted to break Jake, it might have been earlier.

"Actually, that was pretty much the first thing he told me," Jake replied, quietly.

Jerk.

"And did-did Temrash talk much about me?"

It wasn't that I was being egotistical, or even self conscious. Not really. Jake and I had always been close, except when I'd gotten involved in The Sharing, and I knew that Temrash would have used this against him. Come to think of it, that probably would have been more painful for Jake than any dream or fantasy he could have replayed.

Jake nodded, swallowing hard. "Not a lot, but yeah. He showed me a conversation that he had with me, but from your side, Tom. I saw how broken you were. You kept beginning him to stop trying to get me to join The Sharing. You promised to stop fighting if he'd leave me alone." He paused, before adding, "He told me that it was always like that. The host tries to fight, but they eventually give up and become broken."

I wasn't sure how to respond to that. It was true that I'd given up. Torture and being a slave inside your mind for almost a year can do that to someone. I felt a little ashamed of myself, for giving Temrash that ammunition to use on Jake, even though I knew that I hadn't really done anything wrong.

As though responding to my thoughts, Jake added, "I don't blame you, Tom. I would have, too. If it had gone on as long as it had for you. Especially if he'd gotten Cassie and Marco and Rachel and Ax captured. I'm not that strong."

He was stronger than I was, but there was no point in telling him this again. "I hate that you had to see me like that, Midget."

He just hugged me. "You're free, now, Tom."

I smiled. "Thanks to you, Midget."

We were quiet for a few minutes. Jake was the one to break the silence.

"When he was dying, some of his memories got transferred to me," Jake told me, watching me. "I saw all of his hosts."

This was news.

"Yeah?" I recalled.

Jake nodded. "A Gedd, then, there was a Hork-Bajir, who fought him every day. And you." Jake hesitated, just for a few seconds, before telling me, "And I saw why you joined The Sharing, and how you got taken. How hard you fought, Tom, even as they dragged you to the Yeerk Pool."

I managed to smile-probably ironically-at the last part. "Yeah, well, like it did me much good. Anyway, at the time, I thought they were going to drown me in that pool. Couldn't imagine that one of those brain slugs was going to take over my body and my life."

(No offense, Aftran,) I added, a little sheepishly.

(Oh, none taken,) she laughed.

Jake just shrugged at my dismissal of what had happened. "Well, it made me proud. Anyway, you were still fighting when we invaded the Yeerk Pool the first time. How long was that after you were infested?"

I gnawed on my lip, trying to remember. "Maybe, three months?"

"It made me so proud, Tom," Jake told me.

I grinned. "It was stupid to go up against Visser Three."

Not that I regretted it at the time. Especially not now.

Jake grinned back at me. "Yeah, well. You saved my life, even if you didn't know it was me. We're both alive, thanks to you. And free."

"That's thanks to you, Midget," I retorted.

I'd still had some hope, then. Especially when the "Andalite Bandits" invaded the official Yeerk territory. I thought that they'd be back. That there would be more of them, and they would save us.

They weren't. Oh, sure, I knew that they fought in other ways. Still. It seemed like their raid on the pool was a one time thing. They barely got out alive, after all.

After awhile, and maybe hastened by Temrash's constant goading and other ways of getting to me, I had to admit defeat.

Jake didn't say anything right away. Just stayed close, finally, curled himself up against my side. We stayed like that for a little while, not talking. After awhile, Jake remained nestled against my shoulder, clearly about to fall asleep-and who could blame him?-so, I leaned back against the couch cushions.

The conversation might have ended then, at least for now, when a memory came to me.

The few days when Jake was acting really weird, playing with words and eating a lot.

"Hey, Midget?" I asked, placing a hand on his shoulder, gently.

He opened his eyes. "Yeah, Tom?"

"By any chance, did Ax get stuck with the role of morphing you and pretending to be you while you were...you know?" I asked, suddenly sure that was the case.

After all, looking back, it had been three days of that bizarre behavior. Maybe, it had been what convinced Gariss that Jake wasn't worth pursuing as a host. Voluntary or otherwise.

"Yeah." Jake grinned. "Tobias was still a nothlit, then, and neither of the others could morph me for that long, since they had their own families. So, it had to be Ax. I heard later that he didn't quite pull it off."

"Yeah. Still, if he was your only option, I guess you had to do it that way," I allowed, shaking my head.

"Afterwards," Jake began, "when I knew what had happened to you, I wanted to give you hope, even if we couldn't figure out how to free you."

"That weird sounding message?" I remembered it, all too clearly. How freaked out Gariss had been, as much as he tried to hide this from me. Ironically, that, more than the message itself, got me to hope again. "Don't give up, Tom. Don't ever give up. That was you?"

Jake nodded his head. "I morphed, partly, into wolf. Enough to change how my voice sounded. And we kept it short enough so that, according to Ax, it wouldn't be traced," he explained. "Did it-?"

I nodded. "Yeah, Jake. It helped me."

Jake seemed to perk up a little at this. "Good."

(It was all they could do, then,) Aftran reminded me. (They were kids, not military strategists. You know that Jake wanted to free you as soon as he could. It just...)

(Wasn't in the cards until after you came around?) I finished.

(Not that they could see. Even if they had thought to use a Chee to hold your previous Yeerk hostage back when they first met them, there was still the problem of keeping you safe from the empire,) Aftran explained.

(I get it, now. Hindsight, and all that. Didn't help me, then.) I knew my tone was bitter, and I was glad that Jake couldn't hear it.

I wouldn't let my bitterness show that he'd allowed me to stay a slave for almost two years after knowing about it. It must have crushed him, especially having to live with the Yeerk pretending to be me. It wouldn't be fair to blame him. Like Aftran said, it wasn't like he and his friend were experts in this.

Really, I was kind of amazed that they had thought to replace Gariss with Aftran, after freeing her.

Once again, I felt Aftran hug me. Tightly. (I know, Tom.)

"You ever get nightmares about him?" I asked Jake. "Because I still do."

Especially my initial infestation. Temrash gloated way too much. Forget trying to ease me into my new reality-he made it as difficult as he possibly could. Part of his plan to get me nice and broken, probably.

"Sometimes, yeah. But, mostly, it's the tiger morph dream," Jake explained. "You remember? The one I had at the cabin."

I nodded. "Yeah. I remember."

It was better than dreaming about Temrash, right? I wasn't sure. Is it better to dream about hunting your brother and then him hunting you, or the Yeerk who had infested both you and your brother?

"I guess," Jake mused, "that Aftran helps when you get nightmares?"

"Oh, definitely," I confirmed, laughing a little. "Aftran's a huge help with that. She talks to me, tells me stories, sometimes plays a good memory to calm me down afterwards. I mean, after getting my consent and all. And, Midget, there are even time when all it takes for me to calm down is to hear her voice. To know that it's not like-before. I know that my nightmares aren't going away anytime soon, but...we have a good system in place for dealing with them."

(To-om,) Aftran half pouted, (you forgot to include Yeerk songs.)

I sent her a mental eye roll. (Aftran, you know I love those, but I think Jake might be weirded out by the idea of Yeerk lullabies.)

Besides, a part of me still thought that, at almost eighteen, I was kind of old for lullabies. Alien ones or not.

Aftran, very maturely, sent me an image of a child sticking out her tongue at me. (You're hardly too old for them, if they help you.)

I laughed. (Okay, okay.)

Jake seemed relieved to hear this but also...envious? Maybe, just a little? Because, really, what were his options when he had a nightmare? Just try to go back to sleep, I guessed.

Again, I felt guilty. I'd known that Jake had suffered from nightmares. Our rooms weren't that far apart. But I'd never really extended an offer of help.

Too busy on my own journey to recovery, probably.

"Jack, you can always wake me up, if you have one and need to talk," I offered.

"Really?" Jake, who had shifted his position to simply leaning against my shoulder, looked at me in mild surprise. "I don't want to keep you and Aftran from sleeping." He paused. "Does she sleep?"

"Yeah, but way less than I do. Like, a couple of hours every three days. If they can't get it in their host, they get it in the Pool," I answered, not bothering to check with Aftran, since she'd told me all about this awhile back. "And I can sleep while she's awake, so it's not like either one of us will be sleep deprived if you wake us up in the middle of the night. So," I concluded, squeezing his hand, "if you have a nightmare, or just can't sleep, and you want to talk, ever, wake me up, okay?"

He nodded. "Okay. Thanks."

I wasn't sure he'd take me up on it, but at least I'd made the offer.

(We might have to take the initiative the first few times,) Aftran observed. (If I hear what sounds like a nightmare when you're sleeping, I'll try to rouse you.)

Senses, I knew, were dimmer when the host was sleeping.

(Right,) I conceded. (Anyway, we should probably start sleeping with the door open, or at least partially open-in that case.)

Aftran had probably come to the same conclusion, but unlike Temrash or Gariss, she didn't mock me for not being the first to see it. She simply acknowledged this with a mental nod.

My stomach began to growl, then, and I noticed that Jake's was making similar noises. "So, Midget. Ready for pizza?"

"Always." Jake laughed. "Let's order from that place nearby."

Despite the vague description, I knew exactly what he was talking about. "On it."

We could have driven there. It would have been faster than waiting for a delivery. But, even with the conversation about Temrash more or less resolved, I didn't think either of us wanted to go outside and face the public.

I gave Jake's shoulder's a final squeeze, then headed into the kitchen to put in a delivery request with our favorite toppings, and listened as the girl who answered the phone told me the price and the wait time.

Jake was still on the couch when I returned.

"Fifteen to twenty minutes," I told him. "I got our usual."

Jake smiled at me. "Great. I'm starving."

"Same here." I draped an arm around his shoulders again. "Want to watch TV while we wait?"

"Sure."

I channel surfed, but aside from the news, nothing much was on now, so I turned it off.

"Hey, Tom?" Jake asked, after a minute.

"Yeah, Jake?"

Jake turned towards me, studying me. "You and Aftran? Do you talk a lot?"

I shrugged. "I guess it depends on what's normal, especially for Peace Movement Yeerks. Or voluntary hosts." Which, technically, was what I was, now. Even if I still spent my time in the cages when she fed. Had to keep up appearances, after all. "I wouldn't say we talk all the time, but yeah, we probably talk a lot."

"About what?" he asked. Then, he added, quickly, "I mean, if it's not too personal."

I shook my head. "It's not, and anyway, if anyone has the right to know about the personal stuff, it's you, Jake." Aftran, I noticed, was staying fairly quiet in the back of my head. "Outside of the whole dealing with the aftermath of being an involuntary host, I guess it's stuff related to trying to live a regular life. We 'talk' in class when things get boring, because, you know, school is pretty boring."

Jake cracked a smile at that. "I can see why that part of having a Yeerk in your head wouldn't be too horrible."

"Definitely." I smiled back at him. "It's way better than just daydreaming. It's a little like-you know how you and Marco and Cassie and Rachel can only use thought speech when you're in morph?" I began.

Jake nodded. "So, you two just sort of talk about regular stuff when school's going on?"

"Pretty much. Sometimes, we talk about all of you. How you're coping with the war." I paused, just for a second before adding, "I mean, she cares about all of you, Jake."

Jake raised his eyebrows. "Really?"

"Yeah. I know it may seem weird." I gave him a playful nudge. "But, you know, we're all fighting this war together. You guys are on the front line, but me and Aftran and the other members of the Peace Movement, we're still in the war. We're like the secret spies, scouting out intel to sabotage the Yeerks. Same war, different methods of combat."

Jake just nodded, taking this in.

A/N: In a slight departure in my Alliance series pattern, I'm changing two things in this story.

1. Instead of Tom and Cassie telling their stories, it's Tom and Jake.

2. The stories will be posted separately, but each chapter consists of MOSTLY the same events, just from each character's perspective.

I would suggest that you read the Tom chapter first, and then the Jake chapter.

A thank you to YMP for reading other the first draft, and a huge thanks to Pupuni for reading over both versions, side by side, and commenting not only on the story, but where individual lines vary. Turns out, even when I'm trying very hard to write the same line from both character's perspectives, I still end up making mistakes. This is why we need beta readers!