A/N: Hey y'all! This was written for Gen. Happy (late) birthday, love! :D
Foreign Languages Task 3: Write about someone trying to do something alone
Word Count: 5683
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Those rights go to JK Rowling.
WARNINGS: Unplanned pregnancy, fear of abandonment, language, child out of wedlock
Note: Quick disclaimer—Lily's emotions in this fic are uniquely her own, and by no means represent the majority of women in this situation.
Many thanks to Grace for beta'ing! :)
Enjoy!
All the pain and exhaustion Lily felt just seemed to fade into the background when Harry was placed in her arms.
Her eyes locked onto her son's, and though the orbs were murky and dark right now, she somehow knew that they would be the same shade of green as her own when they cleared. Harry blinked slowly up at her, wide-eyed and curious and innocent. Lily wondered how she could have ever worried about his arrival.
Beside her, James was watching their son with a reverence she'd never seen on him before. He tentatively reached out a shaking hand and ran the pad of one finger through Harry's tuft of dark hair.
"Lily," he breathed, "he's perfect."
Lily bit her lip, but she couldn't reign in her smile. "He is, isn't he?" She couldn't tear her gaze away from the bundle in her arms. "I never… I never imagined it would be this incredible." Tears pricked at her eyes.
A kiss was pressed to her sweaty temple. "You're amazing," James told her, awe filling his voice. "You made this possible, Lily, this—this is the best thing that's ever happened to me."
Letting her head drop against her lover's chest, Lily smiled widely. "We did this," she reminded him gently. "I couldn't have done this without you, James."
Her boyfriend grinned and squeezed her shoulder. "I'll always be here for you two."
It was two in the morning, and this was insane. It was two in the morning, and Lily knew Remus would be pissed about being forced to wake up at this ungodly hour.
It was two in the morning, and Lily didn't know where else to go.
She knocked on the door of his flat, biting her lip and blinking back tears. As she predicted, it took a bit to wake Remus up, and when he opened the door he was scowling. When he noticed her distress, however, his expression softened a bit.
"Either I'm dreaming, or I'm hallucinating, because you're not supposed to be here," he warned, but there was a note of concern in his voice. "What's up?"
Lily just closed her eyes, unable to explain her whirlwind of emotions. "Can I come in?" she asked instead.
Remus wordlessly stepped aside, and Lily made a beeline for the sitting room. She sat herself on the sofa and pulled her red hair over one shoulder, pulling and twisting it anxiously. Remus entered the room and switched on a light. Lily looked up at him.
"Tea?" she requested feebly.
His brow furrowing, Remus obeyed. Minutes later, he returned with two steaming mugs and handed one to Lily before lowering himself onto the seat beside her.
"Spill," he ordered. "It's a bloody ridiculous hour, I'm exhausted, and you're scaring me."
Lily's lips twitched, but the smile didn't quite meet her eyes. "I… well. We've been friends a long time, haven't we, Remus?"
"Yes…" The man set down his mug, his amber eyes wary. "Lily…"
"So you'd support me no matter what?"
"If you've finally given into your temper, then no, I'm not hiding the body."
Lily shoved his shoulder, her nerves still running high, but her heart not quite so far in her stomach. "Prat. You know what I mean."
Remus nodded and took her hand, giving it a small squeeze. "Whatever it is, you can tell me," he promised. His expression was very solemn, though his bedhead, pajamas, and the pillow crease on his cheek made him look a bit silly. Lily was strongly reminded of the boy she'd met when she was eleven years old, hesitantly holding out a bar of chocolate to her after she'd fallen and scraped her knee. The memory made her smile and bolstered her confidence a little.
There really was no one else she could trust with this news.
A deep breath in, an exhale— "I'm pregnant, Remus." She shivered, suddenly feeling cold all over. "I'm twenty-four and pregnant."
She heard her friend suck a breath in, and risked a glance at his face. He looked completely astonished, his eyes wide and his mouth open. "Pregnant," he repeated numbly. "You're… oh." He blinked a couple of times.
"I know," she interrupted, scrubbing a hand over her face. "I know." Her head dropped into her hands. "Well, this is the end. I just" —she bit back a sob— "don't understand how this could have happened."
Except she did have an inkling… she'd had enough of an inkling to be unable to wait until morning after purchasing the pregnancy test. The results had sent her running here.
Remus was silent for a moment as he processed the information. "How did James take it?" he asked at last, a note of protectiveness creeping into his voice. "I mean, it's not even light out and you're here…"
Lily's stomach plummeted at the mention of her boyfriend. She took a large swallow of tea. "I haven't told him yet." It was more difficult to admit than she'd thought.
Remus frowned sharply. "It's his, isn't it?"
Lily looked at him sharply. "Of course it is!" she said indignantly, her grip tightening around her mug. "Whose else would it be?"
Remus held up his hands in defense. "I dunno! I'm just saying… Lily, why doesn't he know?"
Lily's gaze dropped to the floor. She was a mess of emotions right now, an unfortunate effect of her stress and sleep deprivation—and hormones. She was three months along… hormones probably had something to do with her tears.
"We've haven't even been dating a year, Remus," she whispered. "I don't… we haven't talked about marriage yet, much less starting a family. What am I supposed to say?"
Remus laid a comforting hand on her shoulder, but his voice was firm. "You're supposed to say, 'hey, love, I'm having a baby.' He deserves to know, Lily."
"I know he does," she snapped. "I just need some time to come to terms with this, get together a game plan if he doesn't want to stick around—I just need some time to think."
Remus didn't seem affected by her tone. "Okay," he said, reaching out to wipe at her cheekbones, which she belatedly realized were damp. "Time to think is okay… deception is not. Just promise me that you'll tell him soon, yeah?"
"Yeah," she promised. "I will." She fiddled with the hem of her night shirt—she hadn't changed before rushing over—and stared down at the indigo fabric. She didn't know when she would tell James, exactly, but she knew she had to—no matter how much dread had settled in her stomach.
Remus kept his calloused hand on her shoulder, rubbing circles onto it. She leaned into his touch, deeply comforted. "You do know," he murmured, "that I'm here no matter how you need me, right? You come first Lily, I promise."
Fresh tears filled her eyes as Lily regarded her oldest friend. She dropped her head to his shoulder and breathed in deeply, trying to get her emotions in check. "Thank you, Remus," she whispered. There were no words to express her gratitude, her relief. Such a large part of her had feared that he wouldn't want to get too deeply entangled with this mess, though that was the opposite of Remus' nature.
Remus pressed a brotherly kiss to her temple and rubbed his hand up and down her back. "I'd never leave you to face anything alone, you know that. Now, let's get you to bed; you're exhausted."
Lily sat up, wiping at her eyes. "Thank you, Remus. Is there a blanket I can use?"
Remus paused from where he'd been about to stand up. "Lily, you're taking my bed. I'll kip here."
Her eyes widened. "Remus—"
"Nope, no arguing." His amber eyes bore into her green ones, booking no room for argument. "That's my future niece or nephew in there, and I'll be damned if I make them sleep on my sofa."
Lily couldn't help it; she laughed. All her stress, worry, and relief just came bubbling out at the overwhelming knowledge that Remus was here to support her, and it was that thought that allowed her to drift off to sleep when her back hit the mattress.
"Are you okay, Lily? You've been really quiet all week."
Lily looked up at James, startled. He was peering worriedly at her from across the table, and she felt a stab of guilt that, a week after finding out about the baby, she still hadn't informed the father.
She couldn't quite look him in the eye. "I'm fine," she lied. "I've just been a bit preoccupied with work, I suppose. I'm sorry I've worried you," she added quickly.
James shot her the lopsided smile that she'd fallen so in love with. "It's no problem, Lils." His hazel eyes rose when the bell above the cafe door opened, and his face brightened. "Remus and Sirius are here," he told her happily. There was a knowing gleam in his eyes that immediately piqued Lily's interest, and she swiveled around in her seat to survey the approaching couple.
Remus had stopped to pay at the counter, but Sirius was coming over to their booth. James quickly made room for him and clapped him on the back once he'd sat down.
"All right, Pads?" he asked. "Not too nervous?"
Lily took in Sirius' grey eyes, which were flitting about the room, his restless, long-fingered hands—and the bulge in his jeans pocket.
She sat back against the cushioned booth, her eyes wide. "Shut up," she hissed. She locked eyes with Sirius. "He doesn't have any idea?"
The black-haired man shook his head, uncharacteristically anxious. "No," he whispered. "You know how he is—completely astute in all love lives but his own.
Lily snorted, but she reached across the table to squeeze Sirius' hand. She'd been introduced to James when Remus had brought her to meet his boyfriend, and had grown very close to both boys. Sirius was family at this point. "He'll say yes," she assured him. "Just don't go down on one knee; he'd hate that. Make it nice and casual."
Sirius gestured to his band t-shirt and jeans with a small grin. "That's what I was going for, Evans."
The return of his confidence was a good sign, especially since Remus was coming over to the table, carrying two plates. He shot his boyfriend a smile as he slid in next to Lily. "Morning, you lot. Lily, James, are you well?"
He was shooting Lily a meaningful look, and she shook her head imperceptibly as another wave of guilt washed over her. No, she wanted to say, I haven't told him yet.
The morning sickness had also been hell.
Remus frowned slightly, but then James drew him into conversation. Saved, Lily relaxed in her seat and watched her friend out of the corner of her eye. There wasn't any doubt in her mind that Remus would say yes to the proposal—after he got over his initial shock—and she was thrilled for him.
And then her smile dimmed when she thought of all the planning and stress that he would face for the next several months.
Lily bit her lip, thinking of the baby and thinking of Remus. He'd promised to help her, and she didn't think he'd back out of that… but was it selfish to hope that he'd be with her every step of the way if he had a wedding to plan? Lily didn't want him to put his life on hold for her.
She risked a glance at James, who was happily oblivious to her inner plight. She didn't know why she was so hesitant to come clean to him. Maybe she was worried it was too soon to spring this kind of commitment on him. Maybe she was afraid that he'd be one of those distant fathers who paid for child support and went to functions but really didn't want anything to do with the mother.
Maybe she was afraid that he'd stay with her but somewhere down the line they'd fall out of love and they'd both be miserable.
Lily took a large swallow of coffee. She'd figure out how to break it to James later. This was Remus' moment—and she wouldn't involve her friend in the pregnancy any more than she absolutely had to.
She could do this alone, she was sure of it.
Activity across the table caught her eye, ripping her from her thoughts. Sirius was looking straight into Remus' eyes and slid a simple black box over the tabletop until it was resting next to Remus' morning tea.
Tawny eyebrows shot up. Slowly, Remus stretched out a hand, glancing up at his partner. "What's this, then?" he asked a bit breathlessly.
Sirius cocked a brow. "Open it and see."
HIs scarred fingers closed around the box as he complied. Lily could see James bouncing in anticipation and she kicked his leg under the table to make him hold still. He only barely managed to stifle a yelp.
Remus opened the box and Lily heard his breath catch as he saw the simple gold band.
"There's a lifetime supply of chocolate that comes with that, by the way," Sirius added anxiously after a moment's silence. "If you say yes."
Remus' lips twitched as everyone watched with bated breath. "Are you bribing me with chocolate?"
Sirius grinned cheekily. "Isn't bribe just another word for love?"
Remus barked out a short laugh. "Prat. You don't need the bribe." He leaned over and tangled the fingers of one hand in Sirius' long hair. "My answer is yes."
Sirius whooped loudly, looking only slightly abashed when he was admonished by the establishment. Remus was red-faced but pleased, quietly slipping the band over his finger. Lily's heart warmed when she saw the quiet joy written across his features; she'd seldom seen his so happy.
"This calls for celebration!" James announced, looking so thrilled that one would have thought he'd just accepted the proposal. "This evening, the Three Broomsticks—I'll buy…"
Lily didn't hear the rest of what he was saying. She had yet to read up on pregnancy, but she knew that alcohol was a solid no.
It'd be fun trying to get out of that one.
It wasn't long before Remus and Sirius were rushing inside. Sirius immediately bounded over to the bed, his grey eyes alight with glee. Remus took a moment to thank the nurse, then joined the rest of the family.
"Oh, Lily…" Remus' hand stopped inches away from Harry's tiny head, as though afraid to touch him. He cleared his throat. "He's brilliant."
"And look!" Sirius had no qualms about running his fingers through Harry's hair. "He's got the Potter hair! And wears it so much better than his dad."
"Oi!"
Lily threw her head back and laughed, overwhelmed by her joy. Once the bout of laughter subsided, she laced her fingers through Remus' and guided his hand over to the back of Harry's head.
She watched Remus' entire face soften. Gratitude blossomed in her chest as she regarded her oldest friend. "I couldn't have done this without you," she whispered. "I couldn't have picked a better uncle for him."
Remus met her eyes, an unnamed emotion in his eyes. "Thank you," he finally whispered.
"No, no, Sirius… I don't want a drink. I don't want to get drunk tonight; Lily and I will stay happily sober, ready to film your drunken antics…"
Lily really was grateful to Remus, but she felt horribly guilty that her secret was keeping him from his own celebration. "You can go have fun," she whispered to him once Sirius had disappeared. "Really, I'll be fine."
Remus took a sip of his water. "Not a chance. I'm guessing you still haven't told James?"
Lily shot him an annoyed look. "If you know I haven't, why do you keep asking."
"He needs to know, Lily. And I can't be the one to tell him."
Lily dropped her head in her hands. "It's all happening so quickly, Remus," she murmured. "I want to tell him, but what if… He'll have to rethink his entire future, Remus. So will I. How can I ask that of him?"
Remus sighed heavily. He drummed his fingers against the table, a habit of his that came out whenever he was deep in thought about something. "I'm not going to tell you that this will be easy," he said eventually. "It's not what you planned, and it will be difficult."
Lily's gaze dropped to the table. Sirius and James were off doing something ridiculous, so she was going to be stuck here a while. "I know," she mumbled. "That's my point."
"Hey." Remus leaned forwards, his face solemn. "Search your heart, Lily. You know who he loves. Do you really think he'd just leave you on your own?" Remus sat back, looking mildly disappointed. "If that's true, Lily, then this relationship isn't meant to be."
The words stung, and Lily felt bitterness well up inside of her. Remus had never had to worry about accidental pregnancies. Remus wasn't completely rerouting his life because he was expecting a baby. Remus didn't have to be afraid that his partner would be staying with him because of obligation only—
And then Lily realized that that was exactly his point. She'd never doubted James' love for her before, had never even questioned it. Things would change with the baby, but Remus clearly thought that she wasn't giving her boyfriend enough credit, or even a chance to prove her wrong.
She stood up, tears in her eyes. She had to get a grip on her emotions, because she was tired of this constant struggle to understand herself, and she knew that she couldn't be honest with James until she was honest with herself.
"I'm going to go," she said more waspishly than she'd intended. "I just—get a drink. Have fun. I'm sorry for ruining your night."
Remus' amber eyes widened. "Hang on—"
Lily held up a hand as she gathered her coat. "No, Remus, it's not you. I need to figure some things out, and I need to do that alone. I'll text you later, okay?" She paused, about to head for the door, then turned around. "Congratulations, by the way," she whispered with a soft smile. "Don't let Sirius pick the wedding cake."
And then she was gone.
It was two weeks later when James found her on a park bench. He wordlessly sat beside her, careful not to touch her. They sat in silence as Lily cradled her stomach, which was unreliable at the best of times lately, until she finally spoke.
"How'd you find me?" she asked tonelessly.
"You always come here when you're upset," James replied quietly. "Also, I looked everywhere else." His lips twitched upwards, but his expression fell again when he looked at her. "You really scared me," he admitted. "Everything was fine, and then a text to say you were okay but needed space…"
Lily winced. "I know. I'm sorry about that… I just needed to figure some things out for myself."
"Have you?"
Her gaze fell to the ground. "Not really," she murmured. "Remus told you, I take it?"
"He was worried. He thought you might have done something stupid."
Lily raised a brow. "He thought I would do something stupid?"
James' hazel eyes fixed themselves on her. "I'm pretty sure disappearing without telling anyone you're pregnant is a bit stupid, Lils."
Lily bit her lip. "I told Remus," she protested half-heartedly. The sunshine around them didn't do anything to warm her; she felt horribly cold, caught in all her lies and fears. "I asked for his help."
James ran a hand through his hair, frustrated. "Then you ran off without a word before he could give you any. Damn it, Lily, the whole point of this is that you don't have to do it alone." He regarded her helplessly, the betrayal plain in his eyes. "Why didn't you tell me?"
Her shoulders shook as she suppressed a sudden sob. She pressed a hand to her mouth, trying to keep it all in. "I didn't want you to help because you had to," she whispered, horrified with herself. "I missed… I missed knowing that you were around because you wanted to be, not because you had to be.
"Because you're just that noble, James. You wouldn't walk away from me or our child, you might even have married me if I wanted to, just because you thought it was right." She took a shuddering breath in. "I didn't want that. I wanted to know that you loved me."
"I do!" James reached out and took Lily's hand in his much larger one, his voice fierce. "I always have—how could a child, proof that we love each other, possibly change that?"
"Not everyone wants children," she shot back. "We've never even discussed marriage."
James looked at her seriously. "Is that something you want?"
Lily shot him an incredulous look. "Not just because I'm pregnant!"
James threw his hands up. "That's not why—that's not why, Lily." James scrubbed a hand over his face. He looked exhausted, as though he hadn't slept in a very long time. "Please, just listen. I don't… I'm not here out of obligation. I love you. But you hurt me, Lily." He laughed humorlessly, and such shame had never burned through Lily's veins before. "I deserved to know," he said firmly. "I deserved your trust."
She was shaking more now, her breathing uneven. "I'm sorry," she said, though she knew it wasn't enough. "I'm so sorry, James. I've just been so scared."
To Lily's great surprise, James wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her against his chest. "You're allowed to be scared, Lily," he murmured. "You're allowed to panic, even." His lips twitched upwards. "I know I would have, in your position."
Her green eyes flitted up to his face. "You're mad at me, aren't you?"
"Yeah," James admitted. "But I also understand that you don't think clearly when you're scared."
Lily's breathing was calming, but it still shuddered on the inhales. "Can you forgive me? For not telling you?"
"Of course I can," James assured her. He lowered his head to drop a kiss on her temple. "But from now on, this is our adventure, got it?"
Lily bit her lip. She still feared abandonment—that couldn't go away so easily—but she was willing to try.
"Okay," she whispered.
Lily groaned as she heard Harry crying yet again. She picked him up from his spot in between herself and James, shushing him softly as she bared her breasts so he could feed. He latched on hungrily and began suckling.
Lily stifled a yawn with one hand as she waited for Harry to drink his fill. Her bladder was screaming its own protest, but she stayed firmly seated. She still had to burp Harry, check his nappy, swaddle him again, then rock him back to sleep…
A warm hand fell on her arm, startling her from her thoughts. She looked over to see James, his hazel eyes focusing on her with difficulty. "I'll put him back to bed," he promised, as though he'd read her mind. "You get some sleep."
Lily winced. "I didn't mean to wake you up," she murmured.
James leaned forwards and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I want to be woken up. We're doing this together, remember?"
Some of the stress left Lily's shoulders. "I remember."
Lily accepted when James suggested they move into the same apartment. It was a development they'd been considering for a while, and it would only make the pregnancy easier. That didn't mean, however, that it was all smooth sailing from there.
Lily woke up one morning to her stomach churning. She threw back the duvet, somehow without waking James, and rushed to the bathroom. As soon as she was finished heaving, she rested her head against the back of the loo and groaned. The morning sickness was brutal, and she'd been sparing James from the worst of it. She knew he'd hate that, but there was still a part of her that feared this would be too much.
The fact that he could walk away from this didn't evade her.
Lily pulled her hair away from her face and stood. She rinsed out her mouth with water from the tap and then headed back to the bedroom. James was still fast asleep, oblivious to her conflict.
She settled back into bed, but was too awake to fall back asleep. She looked out the window to the dark sky; the sun hadn't risen yet. There were a few stars still scattered, and every now and then an airplane would soar through the sky.
If they'd been shooting stars, Lily would have wished on them.
She sighed heavily and sat back against the mattress. James stirred beside her, and then hazel eyes were blinking open. "All right?" James mumbled sleepily.
"Yes," Lily lied, then bit her lip when she remembered her promise to let him help. "No. Sort of."
Awake now, James sat up with a frown. "Lily?"
Her green eyes fell shut. "Morning sickness," she told him reluctantly, "is the stuff of nightmares."
A hand shot out to grasp hers, and she looked up to see his eyes filled with worry. "Do you need anything?"
She shook her head. "I've been handling it," she assured him.
He noticed her slip up. "Been…? Lils."
"Sorry?" Her fingers tugged at her red hair. "You've slept through it so far."
James sighed heavily. "You can wake me for that, Lils."
She shot him a look, a bit annoyed. "I'm pregnant James, not helpless. I know you want to be involved—and I'm trying to be better about including you in the process—but I don't need you waiting on me." She glanced down at the sheets, feeling angry enough to cry. "I can do this," she whispered.
"I know." Her boyfriend's voice was soft, but firm. "I know you can. But I love you, Lily, and just like when you're ill, I want to take care of you. Like you do for me."
"I'm not ill, though."
James raised a brow and reached for his glasses on the bedside table. He was up for the day, then, even if it was much too early for any sane person to be awake. "I'm aware. Now you're just arguing to argue."
"I'm not."
Another brow quirk. Lily might have continued to protest, but then she saw the distress in his eyes and she fell silent. A moment of silence passed between them before James spoke.
"I just… you've never been so adamant about refusing my help before." He swallowed thickly. "I'm not doing this because I don't think you're capable. I'm doing this because I love you, and I don't understand why that makes you so angry."
And just like that, the anger fizzled out. She was ashamed of the way she'd been treating James, embarrassed by it, but she couldn't shake the feeling that holding him at arm's length was the best way to protect herself.
But Remus had been right all those nights ago: James deserved her honesty.
"I know you love me," she whispered, choosing her words carefully and making sure she was being completely honest—she was too tired of the way things had been going to do otherwise. "And I love you. So, so much. But we didn't plan for this, and if there's one thing you know about me, James Potter, it's that I like to know the risks before I take them. I just… if it's too much, if we don't work, that's it for me."
She was afraid that she hadn't expressed herself adequately, that she'd butchered her words and offended him when that was the last thing she was trying to do.
But James seemed to understand that this was less a concern about his character and more of a fear that they would end up miserable and stuck. He shuffled over the mattress until he was close enough to tuck Lily under his arm.
"Here's an idea," he said in a low voice. "How about we don't worry about whatever comes next? How about we take it one day at a time and just focus on the fact that there is a child—our child—on the way. Maybe I'm different from most blokes, Lils, but I think that's pretty damn incredible."
She knew. She knew that this was his way of saying, fuck it, Lily, I'm here for you both because of course I've always wanted to be a dad.
Lily's bottom lip wobbled, but she shoved James in the stomach. "It's hard to be afraid when you're being so good," she complained.
James just grinned. "All part of my charm," he told her.
But she knew that already.
She was standing next to Remus as he exchanged vows with Sirius as his maid of honor, and was very colorfully cursing her pregnancy hormones.
Sirius would never let her live down the amount of tears she was shedding during the ceremony.
Remus kept glancing over at her, half-concerned and half-amused. She just shot him a watery smile and placed a hand on her belly as if to say sorry, it's the baby. It really was a wonderful ceremony, though. And the joy that shone on Remus and Sirius' faces was unrivaled.
From Sirius' side, even James got misty-eyed, and he couldn't blame it on hormones.
And then they were kissing, and Lily felt a lump of pride form in her throat. The boy she'd grown up with, whose awkward first dates and bouts of self-doubt she'd always been present for, was married now. He had a husband.
She caught James' eye and realized that she could have that too, someday. But in the meantime… She placed a hand on the baby bump, and for the first time, she was excited to have the baby without the moment being ruined by fear and worry.
James made his way over to her, a smile on his face. He nodded towards Remus and Sirius, who were making their way outside for wedding photos. "I'm pretty sure I saw Sirius crying when he gave Remus the ring. Blackmail material."
Lily snorted. "You were crying, too—don't try to deny it."
James lifted a shoulder in half a shrug. "Yeah, well, he didn't see."
Lily laughed, then laced her fingers through her lover's. "We'd best go out there so we don't spoil their photos. Sirius would kill us."
"And Remus would thank us, because he hates being the center of attention for copious amounts of time." James nodded in agreement. "I suppose Sirius is the greater evil. Come on, then, love."
He held out his arm to his girlfriend, and Lily accepted with a roll of her eyes. She walked out of the building with him into the sunshine and rested her head on his shoulder.
Things were looking up.
Remus opened the door seconds after Lily knocked, flour covering his hair and face. He seemed mildly embarrassed, and Lily could hear Sirius' booming laughter coming from somewhere in the flat.
She raised a brow. "James and I came to drop off Harry… what's going on in there?"
Remus' amber eyes flickered from her face to James' anxiously, seemingly reluctant to answer. He'd just opened his mouth when Sirius poked his head through the doorway.
"Cooking video tutorial for couples," Sirius chirped. "It went horribly."
He looked very pleased with himself, oblivious to Remus' scowl. "This," he protested, gesturing to himself, "is Sirius' handiwork."
James' lips twitched. "Not one for domesticity, are you, mate?"
Lily laughed and took Harry out of the sling around her chest. She handed the small baby to Sirius, who wasn't covered in flour, then leaned forwards to kiss her son on the cheek. "Mummy will be back soon. Keep Uncle Remus sane." She looked up at the boy's godfather. "Be kind to your husband, Sirius."
His grey eyes sparkling, Sirius winked. "Don't you worry, he'll still be in one piece by the time you come to pick Harry up. Have fun on your date!"
James scrambled to kiss their son goodbye before Sirius shooed them out the door. Lily laughed fondly at their antics, a soft smile on her face. Then James was ready to leave, and the two of them walked out towards the street to the car waiting for them.
Lily turned her face upwards, taking in the stars twinkling above them. A year ago, she would never have thought that this was her life—that she'd be with her fiance and son in front of Remus' door, laughing at his disastrous cooking attempts. A year ago, she hadn't even been certain she and James would still be together—now there wasn't much doubt in her mind that this would last for many, many years.
And it wasn't perfect. There were still times, in the midst of rows and nappies and tears from all three of them that she wondered if James regretted staying. But just as soon as those thoughts came, James swooped in with a kiss and a look so adoring that all her doubts would vanish. The good days were growing more frequent; the bad days less so. It felt wonderful.
She tilted her head a bit until James was in her line of vision, then kissed him soundly. "Love you," she murmured.
James squeezed her shoulder. "Love you, too."
Affection for James flooded her. He looked so content, so happy to just be by her side… and he'd been so great with Harry for all the months they'd had him. It made her wonder why she'd ever been scared of being abandoned.
"Thank you," she whispered, "for not giving up on me when I tried to push you away."
Startled, James turned to her. "Why would I do that?" He kissed her temple. "You and Harry are my family, after all. And I don't want to miss a thing."
And Lily believed, now, that he wouldn't.
A/N:
JamesLily
RemusSirius
hurt/comfort
Unplanned pregnancy
WC: Assorted Appreciation: 25. "Can we pretend that airplanes/in the night sky/are like shooting stars/I could really use a wish right now"
WC: Disney Challenge: C4. Write about childhood best friends
WC: Trope of the Month: 20. (action) pulling
WC: World of Comics: 17. (pairing) wolfstar
WC: Book Club: Nehemia — (genre) friendship, (word) deception, (plot point) making a promise
WC: Showtime: 8. (genre) friendship
WC: Amber's Attic: 4. Write about a pregnancy
WC: Lizzy's Loft: 19. "Here's an idea. What if we don't worry about whatever comes next?"
WC: Empire: 1. "Search your heart. You know who he loves."
WC: Liza's Loves: 14. "How'd you find me?" / "You always come here when you're upset… also, I looked everywhere else." BONUS
WC: Angel's Archives: 4. Write about something happening fast
WC: Scamander's Case: 11. (emotion) bitter
WC: Bex's Basement: 1. "Isn't bribe just another word for love?" BONUS
WC: Film Festival: 21. (word) family
WC: Marvel Appreciation: R - (color) red
WC: Lyric Alley: 2. Couldn't look you in the eye
Seasonal: Days of the Year: Spouses Day — Write about married life
Seasonal: Winter: 30. (quote) "Nothing burns like the cold." - George R. R. Martin
Seasonal: Colors: 5. Indigo
Seasonal: Birthstones: 5. "Either I'm dreaming, or I'm hallucinating, because you're not supposed to be here."
Seasonal: Flowers: 5. Visiting family or friends
Seasonal: Tarot Cards: 9. (theme) celebration
Seasonal: Water: 3. (word) damp
Seasonal: Build a Playlist: I Don't Want to Miss a Thing
Seasonal: Slytherin: 52. (trait) knowing
Seasonal: Religious Holidays: Maha Shivaratri — Write about getting married
Seasonal: History: 9. Write about a newborn
Fortnightly: Little Women: 4. (plot point) accepting a marriage proposal
Game Night: 3. (action) smiling
Sweet Dreams: 2. Write about receiving important news
Bingo: "Well, this is the end."
365: 6. Activity
Insane: 521. (genre) friendship