Olivia found herself laughing while Elliot regaled her with stories of Eli's misbehavior, and before she knew it, her burger was gone, and she had drained another beer. "I hate to think what he's going to be like as a teenager." Olivia said with one last laugh. "Too bad his dad's not a cop anymore and won't be able to get him off the hook if he gets in any serious trouble."

"That's okay. I have faith that his guardian angel will still be on the job." Elliot looked at her pointedly.

"You're talking about me?" Olivia asked, flattening the palm of her hand against her chest.

"Who else?"

Olivia felt a slight blush in her cheeks at the nickname. She had never heard Elliot use that term before and it warmed her heart.

"I always wonder if maybe he got some of his fearlessness from you." Elliot said. He always celebrated Eli's birthday with a hint of sadness, remembering how he'd almost lost Eli, Kathy and Olivia.

God had been watching out for him that day.

Olivia smiled at the thought of that, remembering how she'd cradled the newborn in the ambulance, as if it were the most precious thing in the world. "I'd love to see him again."

Elliot smiled at her comment. It implied there would be an opportunity to see her in the future, and while she hadn't said anything directly, he was going to take it.

"What are you smirking about over there?" Olivia asked

Elliot didn't respond directly to her question. "I'd love for you to see him again." He hesitated a second before forging ahead. "In fact, I'm going to have him at my apartment this weekend." It was just four days away, and he knew that it was awfully soon to expect more from her, but he tossed it out there anyway. He watched as Olivia brushed her hair back from her face and looked at him with a bemused expression on her face. He couldn't decipher what was behind that expression, so he waited her out.

All kind of thoughts were running through Olivia's head, but she reminded herself to be cautious. She'd had three beers in pretty short order, and after an exhausting and emotional day, it was impacting her judgment. Sitting here with Elliot had been easy, and she could see how simple it would be to just dismiss the past eighteen months.

She closed her eyes momentarily, telling herself to tread carefully. There was no guarantee that Elliot was here to stay, and while she believed he was genuinely remorseful, she had to protect herself.

No one else would.

"You okay?"

Olivia opened her eyes and saw Elliot looking at her with concern. "Yeah."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to push." Elliot said.

"Is it okay if we get out of here?" Olivia asked. She fished in her pocket and pulled out $60, tossing it on the table as she slid from the booth without another word. She heard Elliot calling after her, but she was feeling overwhelmed and just needed to get out of the bar. She knocked into a couple of guys as she burst through the door and muttered a quick apology. Once outside, she walked down a short way, taking in deep breathes as she leaned against the side of the building, trying to clear her head.

"Olivia!" Elliot called her name as he cleared the door, and he looked left and right to try to find her. There was no way she could have grabbed a cab that quickly, unless she was incredibly lucky. Three seconds later, he spotted her in pretty much the same spot he had waited for her earlier in the evening. He repeated her name as he drew close, reaching for her arm but stopping just short of making contact. "What happened in there?"

Olivia could see the confusion on his face. She ran her hands down her face as she tried to gather her thoughts. "I just needed some fresh air."

Elliot looked at her skeptically. He wasn't buying it.

Olivia stood with her knees slightly bent and her hands resting on her thighs as her emotions waged war with each other. Although she had laid the ground rules for the evening, she hated that it was going so well. She hated that she was making it easy for him to insert himself back into her life, when she needed to be strong. To protect herself.

Elliot braced one arm against the building, to the left of her head. "Talk to me." He said as quietly as he could, while still being heard. He hated the look on her face right now. It was the expression she wore when she felt cornered somehow. When she felt the need to escape.

He hated it.

Olivia looked up at him and opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out and she pressed her lips back together.

"Please." Elliot pleaded. "Tell me what's going on in that head of yours right now." He had a pretty good idea, but he didn't want to push her anymore than he already had. He waited a few seconds, but she couldn't seem to verbalize what she needed in that moment. "Do you want to go home?" He hated to suggest it, but he had promised to be patient. He had to give her space, or she'd demand it.

Everything in Olivia's core told her that she should say yes. She was tired and emotionally drained. She'd been drinking. Her decision-making ability was obviously compromised, or she would have headed to her apartment after a quick dinner and polite conversation.

But something inside of her wouldn't let her say the words.

Despite all of the reasons she shouldn't, Olivia was enjoying herself and wanted to spend more time with him. He didn't have any idea how much she had missed him. She looked back at him, seeing the disappointment he was trying to mask, already anticipating her answer. She swallowed hard, having made up her mind. "Can we just walk for a while?"

Elliot felt relief course through him, and he broke into a grin. "Anything you want." He could almost see the conflict that was raging inside of her, but he was happy that the battle seemed to be tipping in his favor. He wasn't pushing her, so he could honestly say the decision to spend the evening, and to extend their evening, was all hers. He stepped back and held out his arm, indicating that she should lead the way.

Olivia straightened up and brushed past Elliot as she headed down the sidewalk in the direction he indicated. The late evening air had cooled a little and she shivered as she caught a breeze, wrapping her cardigan around her more tightly. Hopefully, the fresh air would help clear her head a little and keep her from saying or doing anything stupid.

Elliot fell into step alongside Olivia and they walked in silence for few blocks. "Anyplace in particular you want to go?" He asked, wondering if she had a location in mind.

"No." Olivia responded absentmindedly. She was distracted with other thoughts.

Elliot let it go. He could tell she was distracted by her thoughts, and he knew she'd talk when she was ready. They had walked about another half dozen blocks before he heard another word.

"The thing is…" Olivia started, staring straight ahead as she talked. "I don't need these kinds of complications in my life right now."

"What kinds of complications?"

Olivia glanced at him sideways before turning her attention back to the concrete walk in front of her. "Navigating this…" She waved her hands out in front of her. "Getting to know each other again."

"You act like we're strangers." Elliot said.

"Maybe we are." Olivia said. Elliot's departure from her life, the changes in the squad room, her relationship with David and even the cases she'd handled had changed her in so many ways. "I'm a different person than the one you left behind in that bloody squad room."

"The past 18 months doesn't erase 12 years."

Olivia stopped, forcing Elliot to stop as well. She looked him square in the eye. "I'm not the same person." Elliot put his hand on her upper arm and gently steered her up nearer to the buildings, getting them out of the path of other pedestrians. She noticed he left it there as he spoke.

"OK. Maybe you have changed. I'm sure I have too. But that doesn't make this complicated. In fact, it makes me want to spend even more time with you. It makes me want to get reacquainted even more."

Olivia snorted out a short laugh. "Reacquainted? She raised an eyebrow at him. "Is that what you want Elliot? To become reacquainted?"

Olivia's tone was sarcastic, and he could see the air quotes hanging in the air. "Stop it." He said abruptly, tired of this game she was playing. "Just stop it."

Olivia pulled back slightly at his tone, and Elliot's hand dropped from her arm.

"Stop pushing me away." He said. Before she could say anything else, he moved in closer, crowing her against the brick of the building behind her. "You don't think I know you? You don't think I know exactly what's going on in that mind of yours?" He asked, invading her personal space but not giving a damn. He had tried to be patient with her, but he guessed he would be heading to confession because he had told her a lie. He wasn't going to let this go.

"Elliot." Olivia said forcefully as she placed the palms of her hands against his chest. She was met with a wall of resistance, and she dropped them abruptly before giving in to the temptation of running them down his torso. She straightened up, refusing to give in to his intimidation tactics. "Then you probably know I'm thinking that you need to back the hell up."

"Not even close." Elliot said. He'd felt the way her hands lingered momentarily, and he could tell that she was affected by his proximity. Even after all this time, some things hadn't changed.

Olivia let out a small sound of frustration, but before she could come back with a smart comment, Elliot was talking again

"You're thinking that you should be angry with me for the way I left. You're thinking that there are no number of apologies that can make up for the way I treated you, and yet, now that you've found out what really happened, you're not quite sure how to react. You don't know where to place the blame, but it's not squarely on my shoulders anymore. Not completely. And that pisses you off because you had cultivated that hatred so carefully until you had convinced yourself that I was nothing but a distant memory…an asshole that didn't deserve anymore of your emotional energy. You're struggling with the fact that when you saw me, anger wasn't the only emotion you felt. You don't want to admit to yourself that you missed me, and that despite everything, you don't want me to walk out of your life again. Because that would mean you're excusing everything that happened. Even though it wasn't all my fault." He shifted slightly, taking in a much-needed breath as he continued to stare back and forth between Olivia's eyes. "So when you say you don't have time for complications, and you don't know how to navigate this, what you're really saying is that you can't figure out how to make sense of what you think you should want and what you really do want."

"Which is what exactly?" Olivia asked, feeling angry and uneasy because Elliot's description of her state of mind was so damned close to the truth. She felt a tremor run through her body at the low, lazy smile that crossed Elliot's face.

"Me." Elliot said, his tone low and filled with confidence.

"You're awfully full of yourself." Olivia said in disdain. She reached out to push him back again, but Elliot caught her hand and held it against his chest. She tried tugging it back, but he held on tightly, still looking at her with that smile on his face.

"You know it's true." Elliot said, moving just a little closer. "If you didn't, you wouldn't be here right now. You would have excised me out of your life completely. Never returned a text or a phone call…never agreed to meet me."

Olivia hated the way the heat from Elliot's hand was warming her body. She wasn't ready to give in. "You didn't give me much choice." She said, knowing her argument was weak. Her breathing was becoming shallow as he moved a hair closer. She could smell the beer on his breath and the cologne he wore, and it was making her head swim. "You said you were going to leave this up to me." She said, feeling like it was her last line of defense. Why did his eyes have to be so blue?

"I lied." Elliot said softly. He could feel her resistance weakening, and it only confirmed what he'd hoped all along. That she still had feelings for him…perhaps even loved him. "There's nothing standing in our way anymore." He closed the last few inches of space between them and ghosted his lips over hers. He heard a small sound escape from her right before he placed his mouth gently against hers, turning his head slightly so he could grasp her lips with his. His right hand came up, cradling the side of her head, and he closed his eyes, committing this moment to memory.

He would never have a first kiss with Olivia ever again, and it may be his last.