(Sarah continues to fall and scream)
Sarah: BWAAAHH!
(Then suddenly she starts to slow down. The shaft she is falling down is lined with stone-colored hands, which start to grab onto her until she comes to a complete stop)
Sarah: Okay, this is just weird.
(Some of the hands come together to form a face)
Face #1: Fine! Just let her go then!
Sarah: No! What I meant was...um...thanks.
Face #1: No problem! We just have one question for you...
Face #2: Are you ticklish?
Sarah: You've gotta be frickin' kidding me.
Face #3: Let's tickle her!
Sarah: Guys, I'm halfway to falling to my death, and you want to tickle me? And I thought I was air-headed!
(My apologies.)
Sarah: Thanks, narrator dude.
Face #2: Oh, come on. Won't you let us tickle you?
Face #1: Yes, please?
Sarah: Believe me. I'm the last person you want to tickle.
Face #1: Oh, nonsense! Tickles are fun! See?
(The hands begin to tickle her. Sarah squirms)
Sarah: I'm warning you...stop!
Hands: Weeee!
(Sarah makes a sound something like a grizzly bear attacking a wild boar. Then with a wild look in her eyes, she starts biting off fingers.)
Face #1!#$
Face #2: She bit off my eye!
Face #3: Forget it...just let her go before she kills us all!
(All the hands quickly let go of Sarah, and she begins to fall again. Before long, she lands with a plop.)
Sarah: That's a funny word. Plop, plop, plop...
Hoggle: Focus, Sarah.
Sarah. Oh, yeah...hey! It's you.
Hoggle: Yep, it's Hoggle. A very relieved Hoggle. I thought they'd caught a banshee up there.
Sarah: Oh, you heard me?
Hoggle: Heard you? My ears are bleeding!
Sarah: Well, I warned them. (She stands up) My dad lost a nostril like that once when I was eight--
Hoggle: I don't want to know. Anyway, I knew you'd get into trouble, so I came to help you out.
(Sarah looks around. She's in a small room lit only by the candle held by Hoggle)
Sarah: Where are we?
Hoggle: This is an oubliette.
Sarah: An ooby-whata?
Hoggle, No, oubliette
Sarah: What's an oober-goober?
Hoggle: (sighs) It's a fancy hole in the ground.
Sarah: Oh, why didn't you say so?
Hoggle: I have no idea.
(Sarah looks around)
Sarah: So there's no doors or windows or anything?
Hoggle: She's a bright one!
Sarah: Well, how do we get out?
Hoggle: Well, lucky for you, I know a shortcut out of the labyrinth--
Sarah: No! I can't go back now, I've come too far!
Hoggle: Well, it only gets harder from now. So you do really want to go on?
Sarah: Why are you so concerned about me?
Hoggle: Well...I..uh--
Sarah: (Smiles) Ooh, I know why!
Hoggle: What?
Sarah: You think I'm goooorgeous, you want to kiiiisss me...
Hoggle: I do not! Stop that!
Sarah: (Hops around) Sarah and Hoggle sitting in a tree---
Hoggle: Stop that! (Covers his ears) I'm not listening!
Sarah: Oh, Hoggle, you're so cute when you're flustered.
Hoggle: You're going the right way for a smacked bottom.
Sarah: Alright, I'll stop, but you have to help me get through the labyrinth.
Hoggle: I don't wanna!
(Sarah takes off her bracelet and shows it to Hoggle)
Sarah: C'mon, you know you want it.
Hoggle: Oh...er...uh...(sigh) fine. I'll take you as far as I can. Only because I'm not one to turn down fine plastic.
(Sarah gives him the bracelet and Hoggle giggles gleefully)
Hoggle: Alright, come on.
(He picks up a piece of wood and puts it against the wall, then opens it like a door. The two monsters from Monsters Inc.© pop out)
Sulley: Come on, Mike, we've gotta find Boo!
Mike: For the last time, I don't care!
Hoggle: Um...excuse me, but...
(Sulley looks around)
Sulley: Oops, wrong door. Our mistake.
Mike: You never saw us.
(They quickly run back inside and shut the door. Sarah stares on, her mouth agape.)
Hoggle: Happens all the time. (He opens the door a second time) Ah, here we are!
(The door opens into a cavern with stone walls. They walk through the door. Surprisingly, the rocks can talk)
1st rock: Beware, turn back!
2nd rock: The path you take will lead to certain doom!
Hoggle: Ignore them. They're just decoys. We're on the right path.
2nd rock: Oh, no you're not!
Hoggle: Can it, granite face!
2nd rock: Who you callin' granite face, melon head?
Hoggle: You're mom was a stalagmite!
2nd rock: Why I oughta...
Sarah: Hey, guys, can we cool it?
Hoggle: (mumbles) gravel mouth...
2nd rock: Hobbit wannabe...
(They continue walking for awhile into what seems like an underground pipe system, when Sarah spots someone)
Sarah: Eep!
Jareth: Well, well! What have we here?
Hoggle: Er...
Jareth: Hello, Hogwart.
Hoggle: It's Hoggle.
Jareth: Right. That's what I said.
Hoggle: Well, actually, you said--
Jareth: Hogblaster, you weren't helping this girl, where you?
Hoggle: Helping? Heavens no! I was just...leading her back to the beginning so she would be all confused and stuff!
Sarah: Hoggle! How mean! You know how easily I get conf--oh...right!...back to the beginning. (Exaggerated wink)
Jareth: Why are you winking like that?
Hoggle: She wasn't.
Jareth: Yes she was! I just saw her!
Hoggle: Oh, look at the time. We'd love to stay, but we've really gotta go...back...to the beginning...like I planned. (Sarah snickers like she's super clever.)
Jareth: How are you enjoying my labyrinth, Sarah?
Sarah: Back the beginning...brilliant!
Jareth: You're easily amused, aren't you?
Hoggle: (rolls his eyes)
Jareth: Well, then you should find this hilarious.
(He takes out a crystal ball and hurls it into the darkness. Then suddenly, a huge disc with rotating blades spinning around it appears.)
Sarah: Hey, that's not funny!
Hoggle: RUN!
(They both take off down the pipe.)
Sarah: Augh, this kid is barely worth it!
Stay tuned...the fourth chapter is next:)