Sasuke was tired. The constant reminders of his failures, coupled with the sheer overload of horrors from battles he had partaken during his lifetime, culminated in a sense of weariness and fatigue that made him yearn for the sweet release of death. The only thing that managed to prevent him from taking his own life was a combination of disgust and guilt at the pivotal role he had played in all the troubles that plagued the shinobi world. He had always rationalize the events around him – the massacre, Itachi's sacrifice and the corruption of Konoha's elders – through the lens of retribution. Invariably this had led to him taking matters in his own hand, but in hindsight, killing Itachi and Danzo, and almost killing Naruto did nothing to ease the anguish he felt. If possible, he found himself even more despondent after every such act, and found that he needed to single-mindedly focus on another aim, to redirect his anger to another source, to prevent the feeling of repentance and guilt from flowing over. After the fourth Shinobi war, however, when all revenge was put to rest, and the world united under the dobe's optimism, the weariness started to creep in. 'The old Sage gave me the biggest punishment', Sasuke often thought with a wry smile, as he would ever so often open his Rinnegan during his subsequent wanderings. At first, that reasoning seemed absurd – how could having the most powerful dojutsu in history be a burden? But as he slowly adjusted to his new Visual Prowess abilities, Sasuke became keenly aware that the Rinnegan seemed to supplement his mood, and thinking about his mistakes amplified the guilt of every action he had done over his lifetime. It did not help that he could see even the most minute chakra fluctuations in other people, and he had learnt to identify the spike of dread which shot through every other person he came in contact with on his sojourn.

As time went by in his "journey of atonement" (although this may have been a misnomer because most people rarely showed any inclination to forgive him), Sasuke finally found himself back at the Hokage's door with the members of the original Team 7. Kakashi seemed his old stoic self, although the lack of the usual twinkle in his eyes betrayed sleepless nights and stress of being responsible for the village's safety, Sakura was polite and friendly as always, but Sasuke could clearly see she was putting up a forced façade for old time's sake. Even the dobe, having been bogged down in his Hokage preparation studies, was less ebullient than usual.

"So, is the post-war reconstruction able to progress despite your laziness, Kakashi?"

"Ma ma Sasuke, there is no need to insult your sensei just after returning. I'm working at a record speed to clear all the paperwork for approvals required for all forms of reconstruction."

"Yeah right, record time for you is looking at a few forms every once in a while when you finish a chapter of Icha-Icha," Sakura interjected. "How are you doing, Sasuke-kun?"

"Fine" was all Sasuke could bring himself to say. For some reason, meeting Sakura after two years brought back his regret in full force. Memories of the night by the bench when he had left, the meeting at the Land of Iron, and the terrible genjutsu he forced her to experience at the end of the war, hit him like a freight train and seemed to keep playing and replaying in his mind. His thoughts were shortly interrupted by Naruto, who poked him hard on his left shoulder and said, "Aww cmon, teme, a little more information, please? Did you help a lot of people? How much progress have you made while I've been getting rusty with all these books?" As was his nature, Sasuke could not bite back his retort of "How else can a dobe even think of becoming a Hokage?", but found himself fascinated by the maturity and seriousness present on Naruto's face. The face of a capable and fearless leader, which showed the optimism of the coming era. The one who lead the next generation of shinobi into a world bereft of war and violence. At this moment, Sasuke's mind reminded him that he was the sole reason that Naruto lost his right arm, just because he had a twisted sense of changing the Kage system and eliminating the Tailed Beasts. As the four old comrades laughed and talked and reminisced (at least three spoke, while the fourth responded with grunts and short syllables), Sasuke realized that he really did not belong in this new order of things. He was a man who could not escape the demons of his past, try as he might, and one who could not really care deeply for Konoha (outside of his former team). Naruto was naïve, how else could one believe that keeping the Tailed Beasts free among the hidden villages would actually prevent the previous cycle of war from repeating? Even if Naruto could keep the peace under his reign, there was no guarantee the status quo would be maintained by future Kages. Of course, this was when Sasuke's mind veered him away from this dangerous line of thought, and he stiffly nodded as Naruto just finished sharing a story of how he had slept through one of the history lessons required in his Hokage training, and Sakura started excitedly speaking about her efforts to open a children's hospital in each shinobi village. Sometime during the meeting, Sasuke abruptly asked Kakashi if it was ok that he stay in the village for a few weeks in the Uchiha complex, to which he received a perplexed "yes"; all three of them were more than surprised that Sasuke would want to return to living in the neglected district instead of an apartment. After that, the conversation slowly but surely died down to a slightly tense atmosphere, which was eventually dispersed with Naruto exclaiming that he was late for a fuuinjutsu class, and Kakashi groaned about having more paperwork to do. That left Sasuke and Sakura, and to his own surprise, Sasuke found himself offering to walk her home.

One of the major improvements in Sasuke's character during his travels was the uptick in his social interactions. He had become better at expressing his feelings or offering help to others, and wasn't as hesitant to speak up as before. As he walked with Sakura in silence, the horrific memories of their past kept swirling incessantly within him. Immediately, he closed his Rinnegan and took a deep breath before whispering, "I'm sorry."

"What was that, Sasuke-kun?"

"Nothing, I'm just tired. How much farther to your place?"

"Oh it's just a few minutes away. But Sasuke-kun, you don't appear to be alright. Please, tell me what's wrong."

Looking at those viridian eyes whose sparkle had been dulled by the immense burden Sakura had carried over the years (which he knew he was to blame for) seemed to accentuate the guilt brewing within. Unable to keep it within, he softly proclaimed, "I will be leaving soon."

There wasn't any noticeable change in her features, just a slight hardening in her gaze. Again the forced façade, which had eased in the slightest during the flow of their conversation, was back in full force. "Ah, I see. Well then, I hope you enjoy your journey, Sasuke-kun."

Sasuke found that she had not realized the magnitude of his decision. "No, Sakura, I will not be going on a journey anywhere. I will just be gone."

Her eyes widened a bit and chakra flared in confusion, "What does that mean?"

At that moment, Sasuke felt the need to tell her so much. How he had wrestled with the bad decisions taken in his life, how he had convinced himself to remain alive just because three people in the world cared and how he had planned on spending the rest of his life striving to keep those three people happy. But he had found that showing repentance was a far cry from actually obtaining forgiveness, and that it takes more than a lifetime to come to terms with one's sins. Most of all, he wanted to tell her how sorry he was for inflicting despair and trauma of the highest degree on her in exchange for her unwavering belief in his 'goodness'. Instead, he ran his hand through his hair and rolled up his sleeves to show her his wrist littered with slashes and said, "It means I will be going home to Itachi and Okaa-san soon."

News of Sasuke's suicidal tendencies spread soon and fast to the Hokage, and he was soon placed under the careful watch of a half-a-dozen ANBU. 'Tch, I wonder what the old man gains by trying to hide them,' Sasuke thought, as he opened his Rinnegan for a moment and was immediately flooded by chakra signals emanating from the guards. He knew he shouldn't have told Sakura of his impending death, but figured that the least he could do was to prevent another shock to her system on his account. Over the next couple of months, he barely ever left the Uchiha Manor, except to buy some bare minimal supplies necessary for sustenance. The dobe had made it a point to visit at least once a day, sometimes dragging Kakashi with him (during his official "breaks" from paperwork), and his incessant ramblings about ramen and being Hokage started to grate on Sasuke's nerves. Often he would lash out, but often he would find himself enjoying the familiar sound of his best friend's chatter. Sakura would also visit, albeit less frequently, but would try her best to cheer him up with stories of her success in the hospital, be it through her successful treatments or her fast-track promotions. He was amazed at her progress, and extremely proud of her accomplishments, and even told her as such during one of those days. Sakura had been shocked at that compliment, and could only mumble a hurried thanks along with a statement about how she couldn't have done it without teachers like Tsunade and friends. Around the three month stage, it seemed that he had settled into a routine of self-imposed house arrest notwithstanding the visits by his former team, and rarely, the other members of the Rookie Nine.

"Why don't you come out and have fun, teme?" asked Naruto one day as he lounged about in the dining room as Sasuke was cooking dinner for his two former teammates. "Yeah, Sasuke-kun, why don't you take a mission?" Sakura chimed in. At this suggestion, Naruto immediately perked up – "Yes! We could all do a mission together – it'll be like the old Team 7 dattebayo!" From the corner of his eyes, Sasuke saw Sakura stiffen slightly – he understood only too well that she did not, could not trust him to the extent required between mission partners – and she quickly said, "I might have to pass as I barely get free time from the hospital." Instantly the atmosphere tensed up, with Naruto and Sakura exchanging glances, but Sasuke acted as if nothing had happened as he kept stirring the pot and slicing vegetables. After a few minutes he finally spoke up, "I am no longer a shinobi. So you don't really need to worry about having me as a mission partner." Stunned silence met his proclamation – which only served as the calm before the storm of questions which followed.

"What does that even mean?" demanded Naruto.

"It simply means what I said dobe – I will not fight again."

"But Sasuke-kun, how can you give up the life of a shinobi? You're one of the two strongest shinobi, and Konoha needs your skills to remain safe."

"Unfortunately I can't help with that, Sakura."

"Why not teme? Too scared that I'll beat you?"

"That's not the reason dobe; I can spar with you once in a while, but I am never fighting again."

"Why not Sasuke-kun? Give us a good reason."

At the repeated questioning, Sasuke felt the remnants of his subdued anger start flaring up again. "Why not?" he started angrily, "Because Danzo and the elders murdered each and every family member I ever had, the village put innocent blood on Itachi's hands and then disgraced him for their own selfish purposes, the civilians here spit on the Uchiha name." As he kept speaking, his voice became more mellow, "but the bigger reason is the harm I have caused all of you. I have thought considerably about the role a monster like me can possibly have in this world, and I see none, so I want to fade away as quickly as possible."

Naruto looked stricken, while Sakura had large eyes full of unshed tears, and Sasuke found a hint of amusement at the familiar situation. 'What a dysfunctional team we are, but I'm the one who always brings grief to these two,' he thought, and this thought spurred him to explain himself a little more clearly. "Do you see me, Naruto? Sakura? My memories of the past haunt me every single waking minute of my life, I can barely sleep, and my Rinnegan prevents me from ignoring the fear and hatred people show at the mere sight of me. I believe my biggest form of atonement would be to never use a jutsu or my Visual Prowess in battle again."

A lengthy silence ensued, and Sasuke got back to cooking. As he was serving them his tomato lentil soup, Naruto blurted out, "Do you think you can stop yourself from being a shinobi? I mean, that's what you've been your entire life." And after hearing Naruto say that, Sasuke wasn't really sure he could.

Exactly seven months after his return, the bombshell hit Konoha – Sasuke Uchiha had gone missing. More like he had vaporized – or vanished into thin air. The ANBU investigators had found every single belonging of Sasuke – clothes, headband and weapons, all neatly arranged in the Uchiha Manor, in keeping with Sasuke's usual tidiness. Even his precious chokuto had been found resting by the bookcase in his bedroom. Predictably, rumors started abounding that the Uchiha once again had betrayed the village. But all speculation was quelled by Naruto, who had been roped in to use his unparalleled sensor skills to track Sasuke, but could not find his chakra signature over any of the elemental nations. Pakkun and the Inazuka hounds had zeroed in on Sasuke's last location as by the lake in the Uchiha district; but it appeared it had been a one-way journey. His scent disappeared at the lake, leaving the investigation with only one conclusion. Predictably, Naruto and Sakura had taken the news hard, but Sasuke's previous hints had at least lessened the blow.

"Ne, Sakura-chan, why do the people who deserve to live die and those who deserve to die live?"

"I don't know, Naruto, I don't know. But I pray to Kami that he finally got the peace he so fully deserved."

Kakashi sighed deeply as he looked at his two former students spiral deeper into despondency. Waves of regret, the likes of which had not hit him since the immediate aftermath of Rin's death, hit him relentlessly. He felt personally responsible, and he wondered (just as he had before Naruto and Sasuke's final fight) about how he had failed as Sasuke's teacher. At the same time, the fact that this had been the anniversary of the Uchiha massacre made him feel slightly nauseous. 'You ensured that all the Uchiha died on this date, didn't you Sasuke?', he thought bitterly. His thoughts were interrupted by Naruto, who once again asked, "Kakashi-sensei, why was it him and not me? I was supposed to share his burdens, dammit!" Glancing at those expressive cerulean eyes, which were usually brimming with unbounded exuberance, now so full of anguish and hurt, along with the companion set of unfocused jade eyes which were swollen and puffy with tears, tore at Kakashi's heart, and it was the first time since they were thirteen year old genin that Kakashi stood up and gave both of them a comforting group hug, each clinging on as if the other was the sole anchor to any of sort of sanity in their terrible reality.

The funeral that followed in Sasuke's honor was splashed throughout the news broadcast and would be remembered for years to come with the striking image of Naruto and Sakura, Konoha's (and indeed, the world's) strongest ninja and kunoichi respectively, arm-in-arm, unable to hold back their tears, while Kakashi, the Rokudaime Hokage, unsuccessfully tried his best to keep his nonchalant facade from crumbling.