Part V

Pat Halstead resided in a large mansion on Dearborn Street. It boasted five bedrooms— only one of which was used and the rest of the bedrooms remained empty and untouched. Perhaps that had been the reason for many parties that had taken place in the said mansion, an attempt to fill the empty house with people and noises so the overwhelming silence and loneliness that seemed to be the permanent residents there would be less….whelming. Of course, the last thing that someone as prideful as Pat would admit to being was lonely. Loneliness was for pedestrians— someone softhearted, weak, pathetic— and that certainly wasn't Patrick Halstead.

As Jay waited in the grand chair in the living room— one of the many indicators of wealth in the large room— there were a million thoughts racing through his head. How could his father do this? Why was his father such a heartless bastard? How could he convince Erin that despite her noble intentions, this was the last thing he wanted? That he needed? None of the answers to the questions came to him in the dark so he focused on calming himself down as he waited for his father's return to confront him.

"Just look the proposal over. We can maybe even expand into South America," Jay heard Will's voice along with the click of the door, signaling that his dad wasn't alone. Oh well. It didn't matter because Jay wasn't waiting another minute to confront his dad with what he found out. He couldn't wait. The burning heat of anger and hurt were coursing through his body, his hands balled into fists and his breathing shallow at finding out that his father had tried to bribe the Chicago Police Department so Jay wouldn't be able to become a detective. His father knew that it was his dream— Jay could clearly recall the day he had told his father about it when he was nine years old and still had a naive outlook of his dad— and yet his father was schemed to take his dream from him.

And Jay just knew his dad was why Erin left.

It didn't take anyone to pass a detective exam to put the pieces together that his father was ultimately responsible for Erin's sudden departure from his life. He knew Erin. Knew of the insecurities in her head. Knew that she was always waiting for the other shoe to drop. But most importantly, he knew that she loved him. It wasn't just her many declarations since the night they had let themselves be happy together. It was more than words. He felt it. And despite her standoffish demeanor when he had managed to track her down and saw her face to face and despite her coldly telling him that she didn't love him, he knew there was more to the story. He hadn't given up on her...on them.

He heard the voices getting louder, Will and his father making their way into the living room where Jay was waiting. Jay heard them and smelled the whisky emitting from their bodies before he saw them, and finally Pat turned on the lights in the living room.

"Jay!" His father sounded surprised, not expecting to find his younger son waiting in the living room, especially in the dark. "What are you doing here?"

"I just needed to see you in person," Jay replied, sounding devoid of any emotions. "I needed to stand in front of you and look at your face."

His father let out a nervous chuckle. "What are you talking about Jay? You doing okay?" If a stranger was to see and hear the interaction, the stranger would be fooled into thinking that there was nothing but genuine concern coming from Pat. But Jay wasn't a stranger. Nor was he a fool. So he understood fully that the concern was fake, an act his father was putting on. He didn't reply, not yet. Instead Jay held up the paper that he'd been clenching in his hand— evidence of his father's deceit.

"What is this?" Pat scoffed, barely glancing at the papers that were held in front of his face. "What am I supposed to be looking at here?"

"This right here is proof that you are a selfish asshole. A sad excuse for a father."

"Excuse me?!" Pat returned, affronted. "What the hell are you talking about now Jay? What have I supposedly done this time?"

Jay chuckled, shaking his head. "So you're really going to stand here and pretend that you didn't try to bribe Chicago P.D so there'd be no way I'd make detective?" Pat glanced over at Will nervously. "Don't look at Will!" Jay ordered, snapping his dad's attention back on to him. "He already knows."

"I seriously don't have any idea what you're talking about," Pat tried again. "Are you drunk? You seem drunk."

"No!" Jay shouted, turning redder by the second. "I'm not fucking drunk! I'm finally sober! I've been in this haze of confusion for the last month, just trying to figure out why my wife left me and now I finally know." He held his father's eyes, accusations written in them. "It's you."

"Whoa Jay, what are you talking about?" Will interrupted with a question. For all Will knew, their dad was guilty of trying to sabotage Jay becoming a detective but now Jay was accusing his father of being the reason Erin left? Will was left in the dark.

Jay ignored Will's question, keeping his focus on Pat. "I've been running everything in my head over and over again and just trying to find out why Erin left suddenly. I mean, everything was going so well between us and one day, she just left. She was just gone. It didn't make any sense. At least not until I found out about your plan and Sergeant Voight filled me in on the rest."

"Filled you in on what?"

"He told Erin about your little plan and she told him that she was going to stop you. Then suddenly, the five million dollars that came with strings attached? Magically, the strings disappeared. It doesn't take a genius or a detective to figure out the rest." Jay sneered. "Erin came to you didn't she? She tried to convince you to change your mind. And that was your grand plan all along wasn't it? You saw it as an opportunity to get her to leave me, probably told her that she was doing the best thing for me."

"Dad, tell me it's not true," Will begged, unable to believe what Jay was saying. Jay had no illusions about his father, any idealistic notions he had about him having been destroyed by the time Jay was a teenager. But Will was different. Will had been a lot closer to their dad and Jay knew that his older brother still held some misplaced heroic notions when it came to their father. "Tell me you didn't force Erin to leave Jay."

"Of course I didn't!" Pat denied immediately. "I didn't force that tramp to do anything."

"Don't call her that," Jay warned, his voice dangerously low.

Pat chuckled derisively. "Oh stop it with the delusions Jay. She is a tramp. A hooker. I call her like I see it."

"And a Halstead can't be married to someone like that right?" Jay questioned.

"Of course not."

"So the fact that not only did I marry Erin, I fell in love with her, it must have drove you crazy," Jay continued, his questions coming in rapid succession.

"It made me sick!" Pat spat out.

"So you had to do something, anything to get rid of her right?!"

"Of course I did!" Pat finally admitted, falling into Jay's trap. Jay smirked, finally getting the confirmation of something he already knew. It seemed as though once Pat finally admitted it, he couldn't stop talking. "There is no way in hell I was going to stand by and watch you waste your life away with someone like that. Especially for something as useless and pathetic as love!"

"Just because you know no clue about what love is doesn't make it useless."

Pat snorted. "It's a delusion, that's what it is. What has love ever done for anyone? All it does is make people do stupid things, make them think their emotions are more important than they really are. Just look at yourself. You've fooled yourself into thinking that you love this girl and you're willing to throw away your life and everything you worked for, everything I worked for. How do you expect to face the rest of society with someone like her as your wife? Don't be stupid Jay."

"What did you say to her to get her to leave?" Jay questioned, ignoring everything his father just spewed out. Jay didn't need any more confirmation that Pat didn't love anyone other than himself so his little speech went in one ear and out the other.

"I told her the truth," Pat replied, not even a hint of remorse in his voice. It was clear to Jay that Pat didn't feel any regrets about doing what he did. The old man was too stubborn and too prideful to admit when he was wrong. "She wasn't good enough for you Jay. You can put lipstick on a pig all you want but at the end of the day she's still a pig."

"Watch your mouth," Jay warned.

Pat laughed, shaking his head like he found the situation funny. "I mean I get why you were confused. Why you've deluded yourself into thinking that you actually loved her. She's a looker that's for sure. Maybe even worth a few rounds in the sack. But you always, always kick the bitch out after you're done. You were too weak to do it so I did it for you."

Jay didn't say a word, instead he just approached his father like a lion approaching his prey, slow and deliberate and a menacing look in his eyes. When he came face to face with the object of his fury, Jay smirked to himself when he recognized a hint of uncertainty and fear in his dad's eyes. Through the sides of his eyes, he also saw the same uncertainty look on his brother's face, although no hint of fear was apparent. WIthout thinking and just letting his rage take over, Jay's right hand that was balled into a fist swung up and made contact with Pat's face, his father stumbling back at the sudden physical attack.

"The fuck?!" Will shouted but Jay couldn't really hear. The rage that had been simmering through his veins had exploded and now it was spilling out— pouring out of every pores in Jay's body. Jay moved towards his father again but was immediately pulled back by Will, both of their bodies twisting and writhing. "Calm the fuck down! Jay!"

"I told you to watch your fucking mouth!" Jay yelled, his face turning red with anger. He was still held back by Will, who was exerting all the energy he had to restrain Jay. Pat wiped the blood that trailed down the side of his mouth, looking at Jay like he couldn't believe Jay had hit him.

"You're really going to hit your family over a whore?"

Jay pushed Will off of him, his brother losing his hold on Jay. Jay held up his hand to Will, signaling that he wasn't going to hit their father again. Then he turned to his father. "You're not my family," Jay voiced, looking at his father with pure disdain. "You're not my father. As far as I'm concerned, you're dead to me."

"Stop being dramatic Jay," Pat replied, rolling his eyes, not taking Jay seriously. "You'll forget about her in a month or two. The divorce can go through and this farce of a marriage can finally end. Then maybe you can even marry someone else more on your level, like Fiona if you haven't completely messed things up with the Applegates last night."

Jay couldn't believe his father and how he was continuing to spout things off like everything would just go back to normal. As far as Jay was concerned, this was the last straw needed for him to completely sever ties with his father. There was no redeeming quality, no hope of reconciliation between them. And Jay was done completely.

"Go to hell Pat!" Jay spat, shaking his head as he headed for the exit. He needed to get out of there. It was a lost cause between his father and him because at the end of the day, his father would never be able to understand him. His father would never understand something as delicate and precious as love because he never felt it. Pat never loved his wife, he certainly never loved his sons. The only things that Pat loved was power and money and Jay was done wasting time, hoping that his dad would change. He wouldn't.

"Jay," Will called his name, trying to stop him. "Just...let's talk this out." Will grabbed Jay's arm but Jay shook his brother off.

"Jay!" his father shouted. "Don't be stupid son! She's not worth it! This sham of a marriage isn't worth it!"

Jay paused in his tracks, turning back to look at his father. He pressed his lips, a look of pity as he regarded his dad one last time. "This is where you're wrong," he said. "She's worth everything to me. You can have all the money in the world dad but at the end of the day, you'll never have this. You'll never have something as real as this. You'll never have someone that loves you so much that they'll do anything for your happiness even if it means they'll be in pain. All you have is secretaries and interns that you can sleep with because they want to climb up the corporate ladder, people you call friends that are only your friends because they want something from you. All you'll do is come home to this big empty house with no one in it because you're too selfish and self centered to hold on to anyone in your life. And maybe you'll wake up one day in bed alone and regret everything." He chuckled softly to himself, shaking his head. "Then again, maybe you won't. But one fact will remain and that is that you'll be all alone."

Jay didn't need to say anything else so he left the house, walking away from his father for good. 'Goodbye dad' he thought to himself as he exited the large mansion and stepped outside, the door slamming shut behind him both metaphorically and literally. He barely made it a couple of steps before he heard his name being called, WIll coming out of the house after him.

"Jay!" His brother ran up to him, face distraught over what had taken place inside. "Wait up." Jay stopped and waited for Will, wondering what his brother had to say and whose side he'd take. "I...I can't believe what happened."

"Well believe it Will," Jay returned, crossing his arms. "You're really that surprised that he's capable of that?"

"No," Will responded, the lie rolling off his tongue. Will sighed then, running his hands through his hair. "I just...I didn't want to believe it, I guess." He placed his hands on Jay's shoulders. "I'm sorry. Mouse mentioned dad being behind everything as a possibility a couple of weeks ago and I brushed it off. I guess I just thought if I didn't acknowledge it as a possibility, it wouldn't be true you know? Because finding out that our father is such an asshole, it's hard."

Jay nodded, understanding where Will was coming from. "I know. I'm sorry man. Trust me, he had us all fooled for a while there because I should've known earlier." Jay clucked his tongue, chiding himself for not putting two and two together earlier or realized sooner that his father was behind Erin leaving. He should've known that his father wouldn't have left things alone, wouldn't just be satisfied with knowing that Jay was happy with Erin and that he loved her. No, Pat always needed to get his way, his own selfish plans always came first.

Will pulled Jay into a brotherly hug, hoping to comfort him. Jay patted Will's back, letting him know that things were cool between them. After all, Will had been just as clueless as Jay had been and he did help Jay hack into their father's account and helped him get the evidence needed to shed the light on Pat's deceitful plan.

"So what are you going to do now?"

Jay shrugged even though he already knew what he wanted to do. He wanted to run straight to Kim's apartment and pull Erin right into his arms and begged her to not let him go ever again. His rage earlier had pulled him straight to his father's house, the need to confront him and putting everything out in the open too desperate to ignore. But now that the cards were on the table and ties had been severed, Jay was kicking himself for not going straight to Erin.

"I need to go find Erin and tell her that I know everything. Tell her I know why she did what she did and that I love her even more and beg her to give our marriage a shot, a real shot." He was rambling now, excitement growing by the second as he planned to get Erin back. "I just hope she'll give me a chance."

"She will," Will reassured him, giving him a pat on the arm. "This proves that she loves you Jay and there's nothing standing in your way now. Go get her back."

Jay nodded, his face splitting into a smile. He was about to head to his car and drive straight to where Erin was but his phone rang. He pulled out his phone, frowning when he saw that it was work. He silently hoped that they didn't just catch a case. "Halstead," he spoke into the phone, tilting his head back in frustration when the dreaded words came through the phone.

"What is it?" Will asked as Jay hung up his phone, a scowl on his face.

"I need to go into work. We just caught a case."

"Here you go," Erin smiled appreciatively and accepted the cup of tea Kim made for her. Kim sat down next to her on the sofa and leaned over to look at what Erin was looking at on her tablet. "Apartment listings?" Kim questioned, frowning. "You're moving out?"

Erin nodded. "Yeah, I can't stay here forever Kim." Erin scrolled the webpage down, eyes scanning the listings to find an apartment that she could actually afford. So far, she was having no such luck, all decent apartment that wasn't in bad parts of town being too far out of her budgets.

"You can stay as long as you like Erin," Kim offered, "It's really not a bother to me. It's kinda nice actually, to have someone here."

Erin smiled, thankful for the offer that Kim was extending. "Thanks Kim," she voiced. "But I'm thinking that maybe sometimes soon, you'll have someone else to come home to." Erin wiggled her brows suggestively, hinting at Kim and Adam moving in together soon. By the way things were going between her friend and Adam, Erin guessed it wouldn't be long until they took things to the next steps. Erin was more than happy for her friend, Adam was great and he treated Kim well. Kim blushed, eyes dropping to the floor, confirming Erin's suspicion.

"Maybe," Kim admitted. "But it's not going to happen for a few months at least. So you have to stay until then." Erin wrinkled her nose, shrugging her shoulders. "Or at least until I talk to my boss about the receptionist job." Kim had told Erin that there was an opening at her new job, a desk receptionist. It was a good position, paid decently, had good hours and good benefits. Erin was a little lacking in the experience department but Kim had urged her to apply anyway, claiming that it was all about connections and networking and Kim had an inside track to get Erin the job. So Erin had listened, knowing that 1. She needed a job and 2. The receptionist position was better than any other jobs she had before. Erin knew she needed to get out of her comfort zone. The nurse dream was out of reach for her now but Erin knew she couldn't go back to the diner. She was willing to do so to help Marty out but Jay had stepped in and taken care of Marty's bills so Erin had another chance now.

"Okay," Erin replied, accepting Kim's more than generous offer. "Thanks."

Kim waved her hands, brushing the thank you off as unnecessary. Erin pulled her friend into a hug anyway, wondering how she got so lucky by finding such a great friend. Their hug was cut short by Kim's phone ringing. Erin scooted back as Kim picked up her phone. Erin turned her attention back to the apartment listings. Even though she'd be staying with Kim for a few more months, eventually she'd need a new place and it was never too soon to just browse.

"Oh my god!" Erin's attention was caught by Kim's panicked voice, her friend jumping off the couch, frantic. "Oh my god," Kim repeated, her hand coming up to cover her face. "Yeah I'll be right there."

"Kim what's wrong?" Erin asked, worried about her friend. "What's going on?"

Kim could barely look at Erin, running around her apartment to look for a coat. Kim found both her and Erin's coat, throwing Erin's coat on her lap. "We need to go," Kim ordered, her voice leaving no room for questions. "That was Adam. There was an accident and Jay's hurt."

Erin felt outside of her body, like she was weightless. All she knew was that Jay was hurt and she needed to get to the hospital as soon as possible. All thoughts of everything that had transpired over the past month flew out the window upon hearing the news. No matter how fast she moved her legs, she felt she couldn't get there fast enough. Adam had been frustratingly unforthcoming on the phone, just commanded them to get to the hospital right away and all Erin could do was follow the order.

The hospital corridors felt never ending as her feet ran down the long hallways. Finally she reached the nurses' desk and somehow managed to get the necessary information out. "I'm Erin Lindsay," she practically shouted at the nurse, patting her chest to identify herself. "My husband, Jay Halstead, he's been brought in."

"Erin!" She heard her name being called and turned to find Hank a few feet away from her, a heavy look on his face. She ran up to him, grabbing his arms roughly.

"Where is he?" She was frantic, almost shaking the older man's shoulders to find out where Jay was. "I need to see him."

Voight steadied himself and placed his hands on her arms to calm her down. "They've already taken him for surgery."

"Wha…" She couldn't process the information, leaning her head to search for Jay as if he was behind Voight, just waiting for her. But the only people present were his unit members, all with sullen expressions on their faces. Adam saw Erin and Kim arriving and he walked up to join them.

"What happened?" Kim questioned, her eyes scanning her boyfriend to make sure he was okay. Aside from being covered in what looked like dust from rubbles and a few scratches on his face, Adam seemed relatively fine. "Are you okay?"

Adam nodded, reassuring them that he was fine. He gulped, turning his attention to Erin. "Jay, we walked into an ambush and this guy blew up a building." Erin gasped, her heart beating so loud against her chest that she could barely hear Adam. "We all got out before the building came down but Halstead….he heard a girl screaming so he went back in and…" Adam paused, having a difficult time relaying what happened. Erin wanted to shake Adam. She needed to hear what happened and she needed Adam to continue.

Voight noticed Adam's distress so he stepped in to fill out the rest of the picture for Erin. "Halstead managed to get the girl over to a firefighter in time but he got trapped when the building collapsed on him." Erin stumbled back, needing something to lean on. Otherwise she was going to fall right there. Kim was right there to catch her, holding her up. "It took us an hour before we found out his location and dig him out."

"Is he…" she couldn't complete the question. She wasn't ready to hear Jay's prognosis. She thought it was the hardest thing she'd ever done to walk away from him but that was a cakewalk to this. At least then she knew that he was alive and healthy. But this? Jay hanging between life and death? This was her worst nightmare coming true. "Tell me he's going to be alright."

Voight was unable to give her a concrete answer. "The medics said his head got hurt pretty bad and his lungs collapsed. He was in and out of consciousness in the ambulance. They're going to do everything they can Erin," he said instead. "Jay is young, he's strong and he'll pull through." The words were meant to comfort Erin and soother her worries but they were rendered ineffective, her worry too much for the words to overcome.

The group heard loud footsteps running down the hospital corridors and Erin turned to the source of noise and saw Will and Mouse, both breathless.

"Erin!" Will shouted, pulling her into his arms. "What happened? Where's Jay?"

"He's in surgery right now. He got trapped inside a collapsed building and he hit his head," Erin relayed to Will everything she knew, which wasn't much to begin with. "I don't know anything else. I don't know if he's okay." Will exhaled, tugging at his hair, worried sick about his brother. "Will," she called his name, trembling. He pulled her into a hug, both of them needing the comfort over the person they loved the most being hurt.

"Jay's strong," Mouse said, almost as if he was trying to convince himself. "He'll pull through. He has to." Erin nodded, placing a hand on Mouse's arms.

"You're right," she replied, trying to remind herself that Jay was strong, he was resilient and no matter what he would make it through this. He has to.

The wait was torture. Erin felt the blank white walls of the waiting room closing in on her. The hours ticked by slowly, strangers passed through the room every so often and they were still waiting to hear something, anything about Jay's conditions. Every so often a nurse would come out and give half updates that weren't really informative— just Jay was still in surgery.

The strange feeling came back again, Erin feeling like she was once again floating. Like she was out of her own body, just an observer from outside looking in on this nightmare. There were quiet conversations happening around her, Jay's team members still waiting alongside her. Kim had tried to get Erin's attention a couple of times and had tried to get Erin to take a break from sitting in that uncomfortable chair but Erin didn't budge. How could she leave when she didn't know how Jay was doing? She couldn't.

It wasn't until she felt herself being nudged that she realized that Will had been trying to get her attention for a while now.

"Huh?" her voice was rough and all crackly, from not having used it in hours. Will just passed her a tissue, gesturing to her eyes. She didn't even realize that she was crying until she brought her hands up and felt the wetness that had gathered underneath her eyes. She grabbed the tissue from Will and dabbed at her eyes. The act of trying to dry her tears had somehow broken the dam and soon enough the quiet tears had turned into loud heart wrenching cry, her chest wreaking with every sobs.

All the worry she was feeling, all the regrets she had over what happened between them and all the pain of not knowing Jay was okay had culminated into her having an emotional breakdown in the hospital. Even Will's attempt to calm her down and console her hadn't worked.

"He doesn't know," she sputtered between sobs, her body shuddering from the outburst of emotions. "He doesn't even know that I love him. That I didn't want to leave him. I love him so much."

"He knows," Will asserted, reaching over the side table to get Erin another tissue and handed it over to her. "He knows Erin."

The words did little to stop her tears, neither did the tissue. "I didn't want to leave him. I thought I was doing the right thing. That I was doing it for his own good." Once she started her confession, she was unable to stop. "He's in there thinking that I don't love him. If he….if he doesn't make it, it'll be with him thinking that I don't love him when it's the opposite. I love him."

"Erin," Will called her name sternly, trying to get her attention. "He knows!" Will stressed each word. "He knows everything."

"What?"

"He found out the truth and he confronted our dad tonight. He knows that our father was behind everything and that you left so Jay could become a detective. Jay knows that everything you did, it was because you love him."

"How?" Erin was lost on how Jay found out and she wanted to know what happened after he confronted his dad. "Jay knows?"

Will nodded. "Yeah, he was pissed to say the least," Will said, a small chuckle coming out of him. "He punched our dad." Erin looked shocked at the revelation. "Not that the old man didn't deserve it. Hell, I wanted to punch him myself."

"I can't believe it," she uttered. "Jay knows? Everything?"

"Yeah, we found out about dad's donation and Voight filled in on what the donation was for and Jay put the rest together. He knows that you wanted the divorce because dad gave you an ultimatum and that you did it because you wanted Jay to become a detective."

Erin sniffled, wiping away the rest of the tears from her eyes. "He must've been mad at me."

Will chuckled, shaking his head. "I don't think Jay could ever be mad at you. Not really anyways. I think he was just relieved and happy to finally know the truth. He hadn't been doing well and I think not knowing the reason why you left was slowly killing him. I don't think for a second he thought it was because you didn't love him. He had faith in you." Will sighed. "He um...he was about to come see you when he got the call to go into work."

Erin didn't know it was possible for her heart to break even more but the revelation that Jay was about to come see her before the accident took place cracked her already broken heart even more. The new information that she had just received about Jay finding out about everything was too much to process on top of everything. She knew she had hurt Jay really badly when she suddenly took off with no explanation. She could try to justify her actions— try to reason it away as doing it for Jay's own good— but the fact remained that no matter why she did it, it didn't lessen Jay's pain. That no matter how horrible she felt, no matter how painful for her, Jay felt it a lot worse. Because he was the one left behind, he was the one left in the dark.

But according to Will, he wasn't anymore. Jay found out everything and had confronted his dad over it. Erin didn't know how to feel about that. There was a part of her — a huge part if she was being honest— that Jay knew the truth now because keeping the secret was killing her, it weighed down on her everyday and in everything she did. But there was another part of her that wished he hadn't because she didn't want to be the reason why his relationship with his father worsened. There had been a part of her that had been worried as she sat in the uncomfortable waiting room of Pat Halstead coming to the hospital and kicking her out by claiming that she was no longer Jay's wife and had no right to be there. But he hadn't shown up and she now knew why.

"I didn't mean to get in between Jay and your dad," Erin told Will. Will shifted in his seat so his body was turned to Erin.

"Hey, you didn't. Dad did that all on his own. He was the one who was willing to hurt his own son to get what he wanted. It's not your fault. This is all on dad."

"Still, he's the only parent you guys have left."

Will shook his head. "I don't think Jay had a dad for a long time now," he said, finally admitting to himself that despite all of his efforts and attempts to fix the broken relationship between Jay and their father, it was a hopeless cause. "Whatever relationship that was left between them was gone the day our mother died." It was painful to admit to himself but it was the truth.

Erin gently squeezed Will's arms and gave him a small smile. Will tried his best to return the gesture and they resumed waiting, two worried hearts sat side by side in the hospital waiting room.

"Family of Jay Halstead?" The surgeon finally came out after the hours long surgery. Everyone that was waiting immediately stood up, all circling the doctor to get the news about Jay's condition. "Um, you're all family?" the doctor questioned, taken aback by the large group.

"I'm his brother," Will spoke out. "And this is his wife," he added, pulling Erin to his side. Erin wasn't sure if she was still Jay's wife, thinking that Jay had already filed the divorce papers that she signed by now. Jay had been willing to divorce her months ago before she admitted her feelings to him because he thought that it was what she had wanted so she was pretty sure that Jay had already signed and filed the divorce papers that Pat had given her and made her sign because Jay thought that was what she wanted. But still, she was grateful to Will for claiming her as Jay's wife to the doctor because she was going to flip if she couldn't hear straight from the doctor that Jay was fine.

"Okay. Jay had sustained serious head injury from being essentially buried alive in the building. He had brain swelling, a couple of serious lacerations around his head, not to mention collapsed lungs. We've managed to control the swelling in the brain and he underwent surgery to get the excess air from his lungs removed."

"So he's going to be okay right?" Erin questioned, needing actual confirmation that Jay would be alright.

"He managed to make it through all the surgery and procedures so we're hopeful. He still hasn't woken up yet."

"But he will right?"

"Like I said, we're hopeful," the doctor replied, not really giving confirmation one way or the other. "It's a waiting game at this point. Brain injury can be fickle and the way each person responds to them can vary. I've done everything I can at this point to give Jay his best fighting chance. Everything else is up to him. He will be transferred into ICU where we can keep a close eyes on him."

"Can we see him?"

"In a little bit. A nurse will come and get you when he's ready." The doctor gave them one last smile and left.

Erin slowly entered the hospital room as if she didn't want to disturb Jay. Maybe if she continued to pretend that Jay was just peacefully sleeping instead of not having woken up yet from the injury, it wouldn't hurt so much. She approached the bed step by step until she was right next to it and she was able to see the rhythmic up and down motion of Jay's chest for herself. She needed to see for herself that he was still alive, that Jay was still breathing. She bent down to place a kiss on his temple, softly brushing away his hair from his forehead.

She took the seat next to the bed and lifted his resting hand, bringing it to her mouth so she could lay a kiss on it. She closed her eyes, letting the warm flesh of his hands help ease the tightness in her chest.

"Hey babe," she began speaking into his skin, her lips still pressed to his hand. She had a lot to get off her chest and she didn't know whether he could hear her or not in his state but she needed to voice her thoughts anyway. She just hoped it would somehow reach his ears and bring him back to her. "I'm sorry," she started with an apology, first of many that she owed him. "I'm sorry for hurting you. For making you think for even a second that I don't love you. For walking out on you." She sighed, lacing his fingers with hers and squeezing them tight in her hold. "I thought I was doing the right thing by leaving. You've told me that it was your dream to be a detective and that was a dream you've had for the longest time and I just couldn't stand by and do nothing when it was about to be taken away from you."

It was like the steady beepings of the machines around her were there to tell her that he was listening, that despite him not being conscious he was still there and he could hear her.

"It's no excuse though for hurting you," she continued, letting the steady sounds urge her on. "I know I did. You didn't deserve that. You deserve the best of everything Jay because you're the best person I know. You're the best thing that ever happened to me and I just….I just wanted you to get everything you want. I never really knew what love was growing up. The best example I had made it seem like love was selfish, it was used as a weapon to manipulate and control the person you supposedly loved. It wasn't until I fell in love with you that I learned what love really was. That it could be selfless, that it was scary to give your heart someone completely but in the most exhilarating way because I knew I could trust you to take care of it." She licked her lips, feeling her voice cracking and needing a moment before continuing on. "I'm sorry that I didn't take care of your heart better. Because you treated me and my heart like they were something to be treasured and I never had that before until you. I'm going to be selfish one more time and ask you to do this for me. Please come back to me Jay. Fight as hard as you can so you can come back to me because I can't lose you." She wiped away the tears that started to trail down her face. "Give me another chance to prove to you that I can take care of your heart the way it deserves. The way you deserve." She stood up so she can kiss his cheek. "Come back to me," she whispered, closing her eyes and letting herself just be in the moment for a minute, close to him.

She was on her way back to Jay's room, carrying two cups of coffee in her hands. After getting the much needed alone time with Jay, she had returned the favor and left Will alone with Jay, knowing that his brother needed the time too and that she wasn't the only one that loved Jay. So she had excused herself and decided that it was a good time to go down to the cafeteria to get some coffee for her and Will, knowing that the two of them weren't leaving the hospital any time soon.

She arrived back at Jay's room but she stopped at the door before going in so she can gauge if Will needed more time before she interrupted him. Will was still talking softly to Jay's still unconscious form so she decided to give Will more time. She was about to leave and take a seat in one of the nearby chairs when she heard the voice she was hoping to never hear again.

"What are you doing here?" She felt herself stilled as the unmistakable voice of Pat Halstead barked from down the corridor, already having spotted Erin. The older man stalked down the corridor quickly until he was in front of Erin, sneering in her face. "What right do you have to be here?" Pat questioned, obviously unhappy at finding Erin by Jay's side.

Erin sucked in a breath. She wouldn't let Pat intimidate her, not anymore. "I'm not leaving Jay's side," she declared, standing up to Pat. "There's no way in hell I'm leaving his side." She tried to keep her voice calm, not wanting to make a scene in the hospital.

"You're not family," Pat shouted, not caring about making a scene. "You're no longer his wife. The divorce papers have been signed and filed so you don't have any rights to be here. So go back to wherever you came from and leave my family alone."

"I'm not going anywhere," Erin said again, not backing down.

"Don't push me Erin," Pat threatened. "Don't do something you're going to regret. I'm a scary man when I want to be and when I don't get what I want."

Erin scoffed, letting Pat's threats roll off her back. "What are you going to do to me Pat? You have nothing I want. Nothing to hold over me. The only thing I want is for Jay to wake up and be alright and unless you somehow became God and gained the power to bring people in coma out of them, your threats are useless."

Pat smirked, as if Erin had just challenged him to be as despicable as he could be. "You're going to regret those words you tramp!" His anger growing at being defied by someone he considered beneath him.

"What the hell is going on here?" Will came out of Jay's room, interrupting Pat and Erin's showdown. "Dad, what the hell are you doing here?"

"I'm here to see my son of course. What the fuck do you think I'm doing here?"

"Dad," Will sighed, stepping out of Jay's room completely and approaching them. "You know Jay wouldn't want you here so you should go."

"As far as I know that boy can't even say his own name right now so I don't really care what he wants or doesn't want. I'm his damn father and I have all the rights to be here." Pat turned his attention onto Erin. "She's the one that doesn't have any rights to be here. So why don't you tell that whore to leave?" Erin fumed at being insulted, taking a step to confront Pat. Really, if he insulted her one more time Erin was ready to punch him, her hand already clenching into a tight fist.

Will stepped up to his father before Erin could. "She's Jay's wife! She has all the right to be here. Even if she didn't, she's the one Jay wants. You're not. You know Jay wouldn't want you here so please dad, just go. The last thing we need is Jay waking up to this."

Pat curled his lips, an ugly sneer taking over his face. "This isn't over Will." Pat warned before walking away. Will released a sigh of relief, managing to get his father to leave before he made a bigger scene.

"Will, do you think he's going to do something?" Erin asked worriedly. Despite not wanting to show Pat that he could get to her, she was still worried of what Pat was capable of. While she didn't think that he would do anything to harm Jay physically, Pat wasn't above getting low to get what he wanted. And what he wanted was to get Erin out of Jay's life. "What if Jay filed the divorce papers already? If he did then your dad would be right. I'd have no rights to be here. ICU is family only. Did Jay tell you something about filing the papers already?"

Will shook his head, not knowing whether Jay did file the papers or not. He wouldn't put it past his brother though. It was something Jay would do if he thought that he was doing it for Erin's sake and that he was giving Erin what she wanted. But now was not the time to voice his thoughts. Especially when Erin looked distraught at the possibility of being kicked out of Jay's side. "Hey, it'll be fine," he said, knowing Erin needed reassurance right now. "Our father won't be able to do anything." Erin nodded, although she didn't look completely convinced. "I'm going to run to Jay's place for a minute, get him some of his stuff."

"Okay," Erin nodded, understanding Will's unspoken request to stay by Jay's side. She didn't need Will to even ask. There was no way she was leaving Jay's side, not until Jay woke up and told her to go.

She wasn't sure if Jay could even hear half of what she was saying but it didn't stop her from rambling on about any and every topic she could think of. She just thought if she just continued to talk, she could almost pretend they were back in Jay's penthouse, in bed, and just having one of their usual conversations.

"Spring training is starting soon. I know you're a White Sox fan," she scrunched her nose at that. "It's okay, no one's perfect. We'll just consider your bad taste in baseball team your one flaw," she teased. She could almost hear how Jay would respond to her remarks about his favorite baseball team. He'd claim how White Sox were better because they've won more games recently than her favorite team, the Cubs. She'd defend her team by saying that Cubs were far more popular in the Windy City than his. It would be almost normal. But no reply came, only the continued steady beeping from the machines that were keeping track of his vitals came. She held onto his hand, needing the connection between them, as her one-sided conversation trailed off. Her hand reached up to caressed his face softly, Jay remaining as still as ever. "Please wake up soon," she begged again, her thousandth time of asking him to wake up with no reply.

"Hey," Will returned, carrying a duffle bag in his hand. Erin just tilted her head in reply. "Erin, I have to show you something." Will gestured his head to outside of the room. Erin stood up and placed a kiss on Jay's forehead before following Will out.

"What's up? What's going on?" Will just held up an envelope, handing it over to Erin. Erin's brows furrowed as she grabbed the envelope from Will, recognizing the content immediately as she pulled the papers out. "These are the divorce papers your dad had me signed."

Will nodded. "I found it when I was getting Jay's things," Will explained. "It was tucked into one of his drawers." Erin immediately turned to the last page, searching for the signature but finding it only half signed— by her.

"He hasn't signed it yet," she voiced out loud, relief filling in her chest that Jay hadn't signed the papers, making them still married.

"No, he hasn't," Will replied. "I told you he never lost faith in you guys." Erin's eyes glistened with tears at that, finding out that Jay was holding out hope that they'd eventually be together again. "I also found something else." She looked up and she gasped softly at seeing Will holding out a jewelry box— a small velvet box that was the perfect size to hold a ring inside it. "He has shown it to me before, told me that he was going to propose for real this time. I wasn't sure if I should even show this to you, Jay wanted it to be a surprise. But I guess I just thought you needed to see it, to see just how much my brother loves you, still loves you." Erin held the box in her hand, not opening it. She didn't want to see how the ring looked like, not yet. Not until Jay was the one who was holding up the box in his hands and her seeing the ring for the first time. But seeing the box itself was enough. Knowing that Jay was planning to propose to her before everything had gotten messed up, it was enough. "So just keep fighting for him."

Erin nodded. She'd never give up on Jay.

Their little moment was broken up by screeching sounds coming from the machine inside of Jay's room, both of them startled at the sudden noise. Before they could run inside, the team of nurses and doctors came running, one of the nurses ordering both of them to stay outside while they worked on Jay.

There was nothing either of them could do except follow the nurse's order so they just glued their faces onto the glass door, trying to find out what was going on inside. Erin saw the nurses working on pressing the machine that was helping Jay breathe, the doctor giving orders that Erin couldn't really hear. It was a harrowing scene, being left in the dark and not knowing if Jay was okay or not. She felt Will pull her away from the door, sitting her down in a chair. She knew he was saying something reassuring to her but she couldn't make out the words, the anxiety in her head too loud and overwhelming to hear what Will was trying to tell her.

Finally after what felt like ages, the doctor came up, both Erin and Will standing up to find out what happened.

"Jay's showing signs of regaining consciousness," the doctor said, Erin's hope growing at the latest development. "The ventilator was working against him starting to breath on his own so we took him off of it. His breathing is strong, everything looks good."

"He's waking up?" Erin asked, hope filling her voice.

The doctor nodded. "He's starting to." He moved out of the way so Erin could return to Jay's side, clenching his hand and waited with hopeful look on her face for Jay to wake up.

It would take just a couple of hours before Erin's wish would come true. She was still clenching Jay's hand as if it was her lifeline and she waited patiently for Jay to wake up. Slowly but surely Jay began to wake, regaining a little bit of movement in his hands before his eyes opened, fluttering rapidly to adjust to the light after having been closed so long.

"Jay?" There was no way she was able to contain the hope, the excitement, the happiness in her voice as she stood up to get closer to Jay as he regained consciousness, eyes scanning around the room until they landed on her. She held his eyes with her own hazel eyes, except hers were glistening with tears at finally being able to look into his piercing blue eyes. "You're awake." Will stepped out to give them some alone time and to get the doctor and inform him about the change in his brother's condition.

"I'm dreaming," Jay said, his voice rough and cracking from not having been used for some time. Erin held his face in her hand and smiled, shaking her head softly. "I am," Jay continued, "Because you're here."

"I'm here baby. I'm here," she repeated over and over again, wanting to reassure him that she was here and she wasn't going anywhere.

Jay shook his head slowly, like he didn't believe her. "No I'm dreaming," Jay voiced again. "It's okay though. Just let me dream longer because I get to see you."

Erin's heart hurt at his request, Jay sounding so sure that the only way he'd be able to see her was in his dreams. Tears that had been gathering in her eyes began to spill out at his words, landing on her hand and a few drops landing on his face. She immediately wiped the tears away with her hand, Jay bringing his own hands up as best he could and holding her hand that was on his face in place. It was like somehow the fact that he was touching her showed him that she was actually real, not just a figment of his imagination— something his dreams conjured up.

"It's me," Erin said again, placing her other hand over his own that was still holding hers. "I'm real. You're not dreaming." She leaned into his touch, wanting to make it even more clear that he wasn't dreaming. She brought his hand to her lips and kissed it until her lips turned white. "You're okay baby. You're going to be okay."

The cloud of confusion in Jay's eyes slowly subsided as he took in more of his surrounding, finally recognizing that he was in the hospital. "What happened?" he asked.

"You were in an explosion. You saved a little girl Jay but you got hurt," Erin explained, brushing his hair softly. Jay blinked a couple of times, trying to recall what happened. He vaguely recalled bits and pieces. He remembered going inside the building, remembered hearing Voight's barks telling them to get the hell out of the building over the radio, he remembered almost reaching the exit but stopping when he heard the cries of a girl, he remembered handing the girl off to a firefighter and he remembered his team shouting his name before everything went black. He squeezed his eyes shut, not being able to recall what happened afterwards. "Hey," Erin called his name softly, still brushing his hair softly. "Don't push yourself. You're okay that's all that matters."

He opened his eyes and looked at her, taking in all of her. He kept on gazing at her like he couldn't believe that she was really here. The last thing they had talked, she told him that she didn't love him and despite Jay knowing that she was lying, it still hurt. But here she was, by his side, looking at him with nothing but love and relief in her eyes, her hands tenderly running their fingers on his face. "Erin," he breathed out her name, "you're really here," he voiced again, almost in awe. She just got even closer than she already was and kissed his forehead, Jay's eyes closing.

With the act of affection from Erin, his own memories of what happened prior to the accident came back to him. How he found out the truth of why she really left, how his father had been behind it and how he had confronted his father, everything came rushing back to him.

"I'm sorry," he said. Erin pulling away to look at him confused at why he was the one apologizing. "I'm sorry for what my father did."

Erin shook her head, brushing his apology off. "It's not your fault Jay. There's no need for you to apologize. I'm the one that should be sorry." She laced their fingers together. "I'm sorry Jay. I'm sorry for leaving you without an explanation. I'm sorry for telling you that I didn't love you when that's the furthest thing from the truth. I love you so much," she cried.

"I love you too," Jay replied, bringing their intertwined hands so he could kiss it. "I understand why you did what you did."

"I hurt you really badly."

"Yeah, you did" Jay said, deciding there was no point in lying. They'd had enough of beating around the bush and had enough lies already.

"I'm sorry," Erin apologized again, not knowing what to say or what to do to make it up to him but desperately wanting to.

Jay nodded, knowing that her apology was genuine. He didn't blame her nor was he mad at her. He was being honest when he said he understood her reasonings. She had done what she thought was best for him, he couldn't fault her for that. He knew he'd do everything he could to make her happy too. "I know you are Erin. Do me one thing?"

"Anything," she replied immediately, not even hesitating in her answer.

He squeezed his hand on her as best he could, his body still weak but it was enough for her to give him her full attention, her eyes holding his gaze as she waited.

"Don't let me go," he whispered. "Don't let me go again."

"Jay."

"There's nothing in this world that makes me happier than you," Jay continued, his voice still rough sounding but there was this underlying strength to it that showed he completely meant everything he said. "Not Intelligence, not me becoming a detective. Nothing. I just need you."

Erin nodded, her free hand that wasn't holding his coming up to caress his face, her eyes still on his, telling him that she understood. "I just want you to be happy."

He smiled, tugging her at best he could, Erin easily complying so their faces were just inches from each other. "Then don't let me go," he voiced again. "Ever."

"Never," she whispered before she closed the gap and kissed him properly like they both could only dreamt about for the past month.

Erin felt herself nodding off, her head tilting back on the chair before snapping back awake. She groaned softly to herself, not wanting to wake Jay up, and she stretched the best she could in the chair. Jay was asleep in bed and Will was doing the same sitting in the chair across from hers. The visiting hours were long over but there was no way neither she or Will were leaving so Will had somehow managed to pull some strings and got them a free pass to stay long past the visiting hours. Erin had suspected Natalie having something to do with them being able to stay, spotting the doctor hanging around Will throughout the day. Erin was happy for Will, knowing how much he liked the doctor and getting a second chance with her.

She turned her attention back to Jay, a small smile taking over her face at seeing him sleeping. The doctor had been hopeful about Jay making a full recovery and while she and Jay had been scolded by the doctor at being caught kissing when he came to check up on Jay, the kiss had been worth it. She yawned and she twisted in her chair to find a more comfortable position to fall back asleep. Jay had been adamant about wanting Erin to go back to his penthouse and get a good night sleep but Erin had been just as stubborn, not wanting to leave Jay's side. Of course she had won out and she remained by his bedside, the uncomfortable chair acting as her bed for the night.

She closed her eyes and was almost about to drift off back to sleep when the machine that was hooked up to Jay to monitor his vitals started screeching again, startling her back awake. Will was just as shocked at she was at the sudden noise, eyes frantically searching for what was wrong. Erin stood up and ran out the door, calling for help and the medical staff that were on duty came rushing in, both her and Will being kicked out again.

She paced back and forth in the hallway, going out of her mind at what was going on. She had thought Jay was doing well, having woken up but obviously something else was wrong. Why else would the machines started beeping like crazy? There were no answers, no indications that Jay was okay or how it had been a false alarm as Erin waited. The privacy screen on the glass door had been used so there was no way she could see inside and before long, she and Will were not only being kicked out of Jay's room but out of the ICU altogether, both of them having to settle for waiting in the general waiting room.

Hours passed by before the doctor came out again, tilting Erin's world on its side again with his news. Jay had relapsed unexpectedly and the best course of action that the doctor decided on was Jay being put under a medically induced coma. There was no guarantee that Jay would recover or that he would come out of the coma. There was no treatment or procedure that could magically fix the fickle brain when it got injured. There was nothing any of them could do except wait. For how long? No one knew.

It had been a long while since Erin had last taken refuge in a place like this. She wasn't even that big of a believer in the big guy in the first place. If God really existed, then why was there pain and suffering in the world? Why did she grow up hungry and scared with a deadbeat father and an absentee mother if God existed?

But somehow she found herself in the small chapel inside the hospital, almost as if her legs acted on their own and brought her here. She sat down in one of the pews in the small chapel and she did what she hadn't done since she was 13 and still believed in higher power. She prayed.

"Just let Jay be alright," she begged, hoping with every ounce of faith she had in her body that her prayers were being heard. "It's not fair. It's not fair that he did something amazing and heroic and he's paying the price for it. I thought you were supposed to reward someone for doing a good deed? What deed is better than saving the life of a little girl? Because Jay did that." She took a shuddering breath before continuing on. "If anyone deserves to live it's Jay. He's an amazing guy. The best person I know. He's kind, compassionate, even though he's aleady been through a lot in his life, there's still this light to him. I need him God. I've never asked for much but I'm begging you for this. Just please let Jay make it through this. Please send him back to me. I promise I will cherish him and love him like he deserved to be loved for the rest of my life. Please."

The answer to her prayer would come but not with a sacrifice on her part.

"Dad," Will's voice knocked Erin's out of the small sleep she was getting. She turned and saw Pat Halstead standing in the doorway, not entering. It was the first time Erin had seen this almost unsure look on the elder Halstead's face, like he wasn't certain if he should be there. "What are you doing here?"

Pat kept his eyes on Jay's still form, still in the induced coma. There had been little progress with Jay's prognosis, the doctor unable to do anything but just wait it out until Jay's brain began to recover on its own. How long it would actually take was anyone's guess. Erin was a mess, both literally and figuratively. She hadn't been away from Jay's side in days, the eye bags under her eyes growing dark by day but that was nothing compared to the turmoil she was feeling inside. She was doing her best to stay optimistic, not lose hope, that Jay would recover, that he would be just fine. But as days turned to nights and nights turned to days, it was getting harder. She wouldn't give up though, she owed Jay to keep faith. She had to keep believing that Jay was fighting his way back to her and all she needed to do was wait.

"I….I heard about Jay," Pat said, sounding nervous. It was a strange look on Pat, the almost scared look on his face but Erin couldn't blame him. After all, it was his son. Despite the tumultuous relationship Jay had with his father, there was love deep down too. "How's he doing?"

Will shook his head. "The same. Not much progress."

"The doctor can't do anything else?" Will shook his head. "Useless doctors," Pat muttered under his breaths. He glanced around the room before his eyes landing on Erin. "Will, would you give me and Erin a minute?" Will looked hesitant, wondering what his father had planned now. "Just a minute."

Will looked to Erin to see if he should leave. Erin just nodded, just wanting to get whatever Pat had planned on saying to her over as quick as possible. Will stood up and slowly walked out of the room, reluctantly. Erin arched her eyebrows as she was left alone with Pat, wondering what the man has to say to her now.

"I've always been accustomed to getting everything I want," Pat began, Erin almost rolling her eyes at the same words she had heard from him countless times. "When you grow up with money and power, you find that people are willing to do anything to get on your good side, to gain favor. Material things like cars, houses, they're easy to get. I just have to snap my fingers and that's it."

"Must be nice."

Pat chuckled. "Very." His face turned serious as he continued on. "But this? Seeing your child in this state and unable to do anything about it? It's a sobering feeling." Erin was surprised by the rare confession of modesty from someone as prideful as Pat. "It's no fun feeling helpless. Like there's nothing I can do to help my son."

"It's a shitty feeling," Erin added, agreeing with Pat.

"I've been reaching out to my contacts, just trying to find some sort of miracle that can help Jay. And I think I found one."

Erin tried not to get her hopes up, not until she had heard everything Pat had to say. "What is it?"

"A contact of mine, a business partner from the old day has been funding this group of researchers for patients that are similar position to Jay's. Patients that have been suffered traumatic brain injuries. A new type of treatment plan that is very promising. They have gotten very good results from the patients that have undergone the treatment."

"That's great," Erin gasped out. "Can it help Jay?"

"I've been speaking with the lead researcher for the past couple of days, filling in on Jay's condition and he sounded very optimistic. Think Jay would make a good candidate to receive the treatment." Erin couldn't stop from getting her hopes up. The news of this promising treatment plan was the glimpse of light she needed through these dark days. "But there is this one thing." Erin faltered, wondering what the strings attached would be to get Jay the treatment he needed would be.

"What is it?"

"The treatment is in Switzerland and the process takes six months. We can arrange everything and get him in Switzerland by tomorrow." Pat crossed his arms and looked at Erin. "You're his wife so you're considered his next of kin. The decision is up to you. Can you let Jay go to save his life?"

In the end, it had been an easy decision for Erin to make.

"Hey," she whispered softly to Jay. "I know you've asked me not to let you go but I'm sorry Jay. If I have to choose between saving your life and breaking my promise or the alternative, I'm always going to choose saving your life first." She studied his sleeping face, like she was trying to remember every freckles, every inch of his face into her memories. "I love you Jay. You'll be alright. That's all that matters in the end." She bent down to kiss his face, lingering for a minute longer to take in the moment. "Goodbye Jay."

Three years later

Erin's feet were killing her. She had been on her feet for ten hours straight and her back was hurting and her already swollen feet were getting bigger by the minute. If she didn't love her job so much, she would have left a while ago, having a good excuse to actually do so.

"Erin, the patient in room 5 needs attending to," the attending doctor informed her, Erin nodding. Erin headed down the hallway until she reached Room 5 in the Emergency Department. She knocked on the door before entering, giving the patient inside notice before she entered.

"Hi, I'm Erin and I'll be the nurse that will be attending to you," she said, not looking up from putting on a pair of gloves, already having repeated the same greeting for the umpteenth time today. After getting the gloves on, she finally looked up, her eyes widening when she finally saw who the patient was.

"Jay!" she gasped, finding the detective sitting on the bed, a smile on his face when she finally noticed him. "What are you doing here?" The worry was palpable on her face as she got closer to him, scanning his body up and down to see where he was hurt and what had happened for him to be in the Emergency Department. "Are you okay? What happened?"

Jay reached out to hold her, calming her down. "I'm alright babe." He reassured her, still holding her in his grasp.

She narrowed her eyes, not believing him. "Then what is that gash on your face?" she asked, her eyes finally spotting the small gash on his upper cheeks right underneath his eyes. The wound was small but there was a little bit of blood coming out of it. She broke his hold on her to grab a cotton pad and gently patted it on his face, her face frowning with worry at seeing him injured. "What happened?" she asked as she worked to clean his wound.

"A little accident," Jay replied coolly. "Just workplace hazards."

She looked at him sternly, not appreciating the casualness of him talking about getting injured on his job. She placed butterfly stitches on the small cut, Jay wincing a bit at the action. After she was done, she took off her gloves and threw it in the trash, her hands automatically returning to his face to hold it. She tilted his head back and forth to look for any more cuts and wounds, relief filling her chest when the rest of his handsome face remained unmarred. She gave a satisfied hum after she finished inspecting him.

"See? I told you I'm fine." Jay grinned. "Now can your husband have a kiss?" She rolled her eyes fondly before she met his puckered lips, already waiting for her. "Mmm," he hummed happily after getting a kiss. "Best medicine ever." She rolled her eyes again at his remark before her face turned serious.

"You're really okay though right?" she questioned, placing her hands on his chest. Jay held her hand and brought it up to kiss it.

"I'm okay babe. I promise. Just this small cut. Voight practically ordered me to get checked out and I couldn't really resist, knowing I'd get to see you so.." he trailed off, shrugging. She nodded, giving him a smile before kissing him again. She knew that Jay's job was dangerous. He faced the worst criminals that Chicago had to offer and risked his life every day. But she also knew just how much he loved his job as a detective in Intelligence and that he was more than capable of taking care of himself and keeping himself safe. Besides, she also trusted Antonio, he was a great partner and she knew she could count on him to watch Jay's back. But the fact remained that she almost lost him once and even though it had been years since the accident, the memories of almost losing him completely were still fresh in her mind, especially now.

Jay seemed to understand what she was thinking so he laced their fingers together. "You know I'm going to do whatever it takes to make sure I come home to you every night right? I made that vow to you years ago and I'm never going back on it."

Six months after the accident

Erin juggled the small stack of books on her arms, trying to stuff them back into her backpack as she exited the school. Just a year left of the fast paced program and she'd officially be a nurse. She squinted her eyes when the brightness of the sun almost blinded her. She just wanted to get home and get some sleep before she had her night classes. She had placed all of her focus on the program, the demanding courses providing the perfect distractions she needed so she wouldn't focus on things outside of her control. Namely Jay and how he was doing in Switzerland.

She tried to not worry about him but it was much harder done than said. Every free thought of hers went to Jay and how his treatment was going. Will had assured her that the results the doctors in Switzerland had been getting from Jay were more than promising and they were more than confident that Jay would make a full recovery but it was one thing to hear it and another to actually see it for herself.

She missed him. She missed talking to him, missed having someone that understood her completely and that was Jay. She wanted to see him. If only she could just ditch her program and fly out to see him but she knew she couldn't. So she'd just have to suck it up and drown her sorrows of missing the love of her life in ice-cream like all the other lovesick people out there.

She was just about to reach her car when she suddenly stopped in her tracks, unable to believe what she was currently seeing. Her eyes must've been playing tricks on her because there was no way that Jay was standing right in front of her, healthy and handsome as ever. Actually, he looked even more handsome than she remembered. She remained standing there in the parking lot of the school like an idiot, blinking her eyes rapidly thinking that this mirage of Jay would go away and prove to be just a figment of her imagination, conjured by her overwhelming longing for her husband.

"Aren't you going to greet your husband?" Jay smirked, knowing that she was caught off guard by his unexpected appearance. And just like that Erin broke out of her daze and broke out in a run, dropping everything she was holding, not giving a damn about her things. She ran as fast as her legs took her, Jay waiting with open arms, ready to hold her up as she jumped onto him, legs locking around his waist. His arms securely held her up, Erin's arms going around his neck, their eyes taking each other in, not having seen each other in so long.

"You're really here!" Erin breathed out, just complete surprise and happiness coloring her voice. "It's you." She cupped his jaw, her fingers roaming all over his face, like she needed the touch to make sure that he was real. That he was here.

"I'm here," Jay confirmed, face splitting into the biggest grin she had ever seen on him. He somehow had the strength to hold her up with one arm because the other came up to tangled his fingers in her hair, bringing her face even closer to his. "God, I missed you!" He connected their lips together, the kiss hard and almost bruising. She held his head in place, keeping his lips on hers as she deepened the kiss. Everything else just fell to the wayside, both of them just completely consumed and caught up in each other. They didn't give a damn that they were in the parking lot, Erin's legs around him, just making out like a couple of teenagers. Erin didn't care if they had an audience or that her classmates could easily see her like this. The only thing she saw was Jay. The only person she cared about was Jay.

"What are you doing here?" she managed to get the question out in between peppering his face with kisses, giddiness in her action. Jay was just as giddy, just as happy as she was, his arms still wound tightly around her. "I thought you were going to be in Switzerland for a couple of more months." Will had told her that while Jay was making progress, he needed to stay longer than expected.

"I wanted to surprise you," Jay told her, meeting her lips again. "So I asked Will to throw you off the track." She smacked his chest lightly at being tricked, giving him a pout so uncharacteristic from normal Erin. But she was so happy right now that she didn't even know how to act, just letting herself come to terms that she was actually holding Jay in her arms. She dreamt of this moment for so long and she felt like she was still dreaming.

"You're okay?" she asked, her hands scanning his body to make sure he was really fine. "You've fully recovered?" Jay just nodded, letting her just explore his body until she could be sure that Jay was completely out of the woods, his body and mind had made a full recovery.

"I'm great babe," Jay told her. "I'm better than ever now that I'm here, holding you." She smiled, leaning into kiss him again. They let themselves indulge in the taste of each other, let themselves get lost in the moment before pulling apart, foreheads resting against each other. Erin motioned for Jay to set her down, knowing that he must've been getting tired of holding her up. He complied, setting her feet down gently on the grounds, his arms not traveling far before finding their home on her hips, holding her close again.

"I'm so happy you're here. I've missed you so much."

"I've missed you like crazy too Erin," Jay replied, burying his face in her neck, just inhaling her sweet scent that he had missed so much. "Like you wouldn't believe."

"I was so worried," Erin whispered, turning her head slightly so she could kiss the top of Jay's head. "I was so worried that you wouldn't recover. And that you wouldn't remember who I was."

That had been a real possibility, the lead doctor warning Erin with the sobering possibility that Jay could wake up and not have an inkling of who she was. Amnesia was a possible side effect of his injury.

"Impossible," Jay breathed into her neck. "I can't ever forget you." He pulled his head up, his hands coming to hold her face so he could gaze into those hazel eyes that he dreamt about for the past six months. "There's no possibility, no scenario that exists where I'd forget who you are and what you mean to me. You're my world Erin and you're everything and I can't ever forget you."

"I love you so much Jay," she voiced what she had been dying to say the whole time they had been apart.

"I love you too," Jay returned, smiling widely. "So much. And because of that..." He pulled away, taking a step back, Erin wondering what Jay was doing. It wasn't until he took out the familiar looking velvet box out of his pocket and got down on one knee that Erin felt her world shift back into its rightful place.

"Jay," she gasped breathily.

"Erin," Jay began, opening up the box to show a gorgeous ring inside, the perfect sized diamond resting proudly on a silver band. It was beautiful and the perfect ring Erin had seen in her head when Will first showed her the jewelry box. "You are the love of my life. There wasn't a day that gone by in Switzerland when I didn't think of you. Didn't see your face in my head, pushing me to get better. You were all the motivation I needed because I knew I needed to come back to you. Because we belong together Erin, I know it. I feel it. I've never been happier than I've been being your husband. And I'm hoping that you'll let me stay by your side for the rest of our lives, so I can make you just as happy as you've made me and I can love you the way you deserve to be loved. So Erin Lindsay, will you marry me?" He grinned before adding, "again?"

Tears of happiness were streaming down Erin's face as she excitedly nodded her head, agreeing to marry the love of her life. "Yes," Erin could barely managed to get the answer out, too happy to speak properly. Jay took the ring out of the box and slipped the ring on her finger, where it belonged and would always belong before jumping up and crashing his lips on hers.

"I know this wasn't the most romantic place or way to propose but I couldn't wait a minute longer. We may already be married but this? This is forever."

"This is the perfect way to propose Jay. All I need is you. That's all I need to make it perfect."

"God, I love you so much," Jay whispered, thumbing over her dimples, Erin unable to stop herself from smiling.

"I love you too," Erin returned before adding on a nickname she knew Jay would love. "Hubby." It had the desired effect as Jay's already smiling face somehow managed to smile even wider before their lips met again.

Neither Jay nor Erin wanted to wait to make their marriage even more official, both of them deciding on a small ceremony with just the closest people in attendance. Mouse had generously offered his garden, after Jay had mentioned just how much Erin had loved the spot and the beautiful memories they had made there. So just two weeks after Jay proposed, the ceremony took place.

"So I'm confused. Is this a wedding ceremony or a vow renewal ceremony? Because you know you and Erin are already married."

Jay rolled his eyes at Will. "Remind me again why I made you my best man." Will let out an indignant sound.

"Because I'm your only brother and you love me. And because I was pretty much the reason why you and Erin even got married in the first place so it's only appropriate that I'm your best man." Will replied smugly, getting closer to help Jay with his tie. "You still haven't answered my question." Jay gave him a confused look. "Is it a wedding ceremony or a vow renewal?"

Jay thought over the answer. "Both, I guess," he finally replied. "You know why me and Erin got married in the first place. It wasn't for the most conventional reason." Will snorted, knowing full well just why his brother married Erin. "But this time, we're getting married because we love each other and we want to spend the rest of our lives together and for some reason, Erin insisted on having you guys there. I was more than happy to elope, get married just the two of us on a beach somewhere and jump right into our honeymoon." Will who was helping with Jay's tie 'accidentally' tied it too tight, choking his brother and leaving Jay coughing.

"Oops," Will offered, sounding not the least bit sorry.

Jay glared at him. "You're trying to kill me on the happiest day of my life," Jay muttered before the two brothers broke out in laughter. Jay took a breath, settling himself down and turning to look at himself in the mirror. "What do you think?"

"You look great!" Will replied genuinely, the two brothers' eyes meeting in the mirror. "Thank you for having me a part of your wedding."

"You're my family," Jay returned, the fact that Will would be the only family in attendance remained unspoken. Will didn't bring up the absence of invitation for their father and Jay was more than grateful, not wanting to bring up the topic of his father today.

When Jay had regained consciousness in Switzerland three months into the experimental treatment, he quickly found out that it was his father's effort that had gotten him the special care Jay needed to make a full recovery. Safe to say Jay had been surprised that his father cared enough to actually help Jay. The recovery process had been difficult and tedious but Jay had been determined to make a full recovery and make his way back to Erin, knowing she was waiting for him back home. He hadn't been able to see her while he was in Switzerland— he hadn't been able to see anyone— but a few times that he did manage to talk with Will over the phone, his brother had filled him in on how Erin was doing. Will had stepped in and enrolled Erin into the nursing program— Erin had refused at first but Will made the point that he owed her this and he wasn't one to go back on his deal. So Erin had accepted and it took more convincing from Will for Erin to accept the apartment he had got for her near the school— Erin not feeling comfortable living in Jay's penthouse without him being there. Jay had thanked Will for taking care of Erin when he couldn't, his brother brushing it off by claiming that Erin was family. And that they needed all the family they could get. After all, both of their relationships with their father was strained, Jay and Pat forming a tentative truce as Jay recovered.

And that was all the progress they had made. They certainly hadn't fix their relationship enough to the point of Jay feeling comfortable inviting his father to his wedding so he didn't. He wanted the day to go perfectly and it was better that it was just people that cared about both of them and that it was people that wished them well.

"Ready to get married? Or married again, I should say." Jay nodded, ready to take his place at the altar and marry the love of his life.

Jay felt his breath being taken away as he watched Erin made her way down the aisle towards him— she was looking like a vision in white, absolutely breathtaking in her wedding gown. He sucked in his tears, not wanting to start bawling like a baby already at seeing her. Before he knew it, Erin was standing in front of him, looking even more beautiful upclose.

"I love you," he mouthed silently at her, Erin returning the sentiment the same way. Jay heard the priest start his speech but all he could focus on was Erin. Then it was time for them to share the vows they wrote personally.

"Jay," Erin started, holding his hands in hers. "We weren't supposed to be here. You and me from two completely different worlds. Yet somehow we found each other and here we are. You made me understand that no matter how hard life can get, it can be even more beautiful because it led me to you. Everything we've been through, it is all worth it because I'm standing here in front of you promising to love you for the rest of my life. I vow to love you the way you deserved to be loved, to always be honest with you and I vow to never let you go." Erin finished her vow by sliding the wedding band on his fingers.

Jay cleared his throat, trying to steady his voice that he knew would be shaky from trying to hold back his tears. "Erin," he took a deep breath, his voice trembling. "When we started, I didn't know what I was getting myself into. I thought I knew but I really didn't. Because I never thought that I'd find something this beautiful, this precious, something this real. Erin, you, me, us, it's the realest thing in my life. You're right, we weren't supposed to be here. But I am grateful to whatever that led us here. Fate or destiny, we were meant to be and I will spend the rest of my life working to deserve you. I vow to love you with everything I have, to spend every day showing you just how much I cherish you. I vow to do everything I can to come home to you every day until we take our last breaths when we're old and gray." Jay was no longer able to hold in his tears as he slipped the wedding band on Erin's finger, right above her engagement ring. "I love you."

He couldn't wait for the priest's permission to kiss the bride, pulling Erin into his arms and dipping her so he can kiss her properly as true husband and wife— married to each other for all the right reasons. She smiled into the kiss and all the loud cheers from his guests and hers behind them faded into the background, the newlyweds too focused on each other to pay attention to anything else.

Jay played with the wedding band on Erin's finger, twisting the metal band around. "I'll make it back to you everyday."

"I know you will," Erin replied. "I just worry about you."

"Yeah I know. But you don't have to. I'm really okay. Although," he teased, a sly grin coming on his face. "I do plan on milking this cut for all it's worth. After all, I do need my own personal sexy nurse to take care of me."

She chuckled. "Well, it'll be awhile before I'm going to be putting on any sort of sexy nurse costume," Erin retorted. "Not until I popped out this little guy." Erin added, her hand going to her stomach to cradle the pregnant belly. As usual whenever Erin would mention their son that was growing inside her belly, the dopey smile would find its way onto Jay's face.

"Eh it'll be worth the wait," Jay said, joining her hands with his on her stomach. "How you doing buddy? It's me your daddy," he spoke into the belly, completely believing that the little guy in there could hear and understand everything he was saying. "I can't wait to meet you."

Erin smiled, her heart swelling at just how great of a dad Jay was being, even before their son was born. He was over the moon ecstatic when she told him that she was pregnant. And there was no word to capture just how happy he was when the doctor told them that they'd be having a healthy baby boy. But no matter how many times Jay had spoken into her stomach like he was having an actual conversation with the baby, Erin could never get tired of it.

Jay was still murmuring something into her stomach, his voice too low for Erin to hear the words. She ran her fingers through his hair, her love growing even more for her husband. "Alright, I do have to get back to work." Jay looked up and nodded but not before he pulled up her scrubs until her bare belly came into view and he laid the gentlest kiss on it, saying goodbye for now to the baby until they both got home.

"Alright, I have to get back too. Voight's probably wondering what's taking me so long." Jay stood up and pecked Erin. "I'll see you at home," he said, kissing her forehead. "But babe, if you're tired or if your feet are killing you like usual, please take a breath. Take it easy."

Erin nodded, knowing Jay was even more protective of her now than he was before. After all, she was carrying their most precious cargo in her belly. "Okay, Love you." She kissed his cheeks and waved as he left, her hands returning to her belly. "Your daddy is the best isn't he? We're so lucky to have him baby."

Despite researching, learning and reading all the books that had to do with giving birth, Erin quickly realized that you can read, listen and watch everything that was associated with labor but going into labor for real was a whole nother ball game. So when her water broke a couple of nights before her due date, Jay had calmed her panicked self down and grabbed the bag they packed ready to go and drove her to the hospital.

"We're going to get to meet him soon," Jay voiced, excitement clear in his voice as he sat by Erin's bedside. The contractions were growing closer together and Erin dreaded the next round of contractions to hit, the pain too much for her to handle. Jay had graciously offered his hand for her to squeeze whenever the contractions hit and poor Jay almost had all of his bones in his hand broken as Erin took full advantage of his offer. But Jay's bones would survive the ordeal because before they knew it, the little life that they had created together came into the world, all pink and perfect, bundled up in a small blue blanket, ready for the new parents to admire and fall in love with him.

"He's absolutely perfect," Jay voiced, his finger feeling the smoothest skin he had ever felt as he stood next to Erin holding their son in her arms. "Like his mom," he added, kissing her damp forehead. Even after going through labor, she was still absolutely gorgeous to him. "You're beautiful."

Erin scoffed. "I just went through labor. I look like a mess."

Jay brought his arm around his wife, pulling her to his chest. "You look beautiful. Absolutely perfect." He could repeat it forever because it was true.

It was the most amazing moment of his life, having his wife and his newborn son so close to him, both of them tired but glowing with pure happiness while they watched their son sleep. It was almost too perfect to be interrupted but soon enough, knocks came through the door, their loved ones unable to wait any longer to join in on the happiness.

Soon enough Erin's hospital suite was filled with their family and friends, all clamoring over the baby, cooing at the newborn about how cute he was and how lucky he was that he got his looks from Erin instead of Jay, which Jay would begrudgingly admit.

"So what are we calling the little guy?" Will asked as he played with the baby's tiny fingers, Will uncharacteristically making baby noises.

Jay and Erin exchanged a look before answering. "We've decided on the name awhile ago so everyone, meet Evan Halstead."

Will glanced up to look at Jay upon hearing the name. "You named him after mom?" Jay nodded. It had been Erin's suggestion. They were laying in bed, his head on her growing belly as they volleyed potential baby names with each other. They were having a hard time deciding, one liking a certain name that the other would dislike. It wasn't until Erin suggested 'Evan' that piqued his interest. Her explanation of how she thought of it because his mother's name had been Evelyn only solidified the choice. Jay didn't think it was possible but he loved her even more in that moment, knowing that she suggested the name because she understood just how much his mother meant to him.

"Evan Halstead," Will called out, the baby turning to him as if he understood that it was his name, everyone in the room — Kim, Mouse and all of Intelligence team— laughing and cheering, the happiness in the room overflowing.

It was nice to have their loved ones joined in on the celebration but the new parents were happy to have the moment of peace and quiet to themselves so they can bask in the glow of their new bundle of joy. Erin was exhausted but for some reason she couldn't take her eyes off of Evan, her baby too precious and too beautiful. Jay had been sitting in the chair next to the bed, also unable to stop looking at his son.

"I can't believe we made him," Jay said, counting all of his son's perfect little toes and perfect little fingers. "Have I mentioned just how perfect he is?"

"Only a couple hundred times," Erin shot back, rolling her eyes. "But I agree. He's perfect and he's ours."

Their peaceful moment as a family of three was interrupted when they heard knocks on the door, their eyes widening when they saw Pat standing outside, a nervous look on his face. Jay immediately stood up, like he was protecting his family from his father. "What are you doing here?"

Pat looked like he was lost for words, his eyes focused on the baby that Erin held in her arms. "I...ummm...I heard that Erin went into labor and I wanted to meet my grandson." Jay arched his eyebrows. "That is if you'll let me son."

Jay looked back at Erin, wondering what to do. Erin nodded slowly, letting Jay know that the decision was up to him. "I didn't think you'd care," Jay said to his father.

Pat nodded back, understanding why Jay thought that way. "I know I've made my share of mistakes. More than my share really. But you're right Jay. When you said that I'd wake up one day and realize that I'm alone. I finally realized it and it's….it's not a good feeling, being lonely. I realized that I've cared about all the wrong things in my life and neglected the most important thing— my family." Pat said, genuinely remorseful. "I can't begin to make amends so I can only apologize. I'm sorry son, for not being the father you deserved."

"What brought on this epiphany?" Jay questioned, still skeptical of the sudden change in his father.

"I saw you laying in a hospital bed, unconscious," Pat replied. "And I realized that if you had died that day, the last thing we'd have said to each other was about how we were no longer father and son, not important thing like how much I do love you. I've been a stubborn idiot. Even though I knew I made a mistake, I was still too proud to apologize. Until now." Pat took a step closer. "I know it might be too late but I'm sorry Jay." He turned to Erin. "I'm sorry to you too Erin. I was out of line and I was beyond rude to you and you didn't deserve any of it, not when you made my son happier than I've ever seen him."

Erin nodded, accepting his apology. Perhaps it was because she was still feeling the after effects of labor or because she was a new mother and realized that there were more important things in life than holding onto grudges but the reason didn't matter. She was ready to forgive and move on. And judging by the less guarded stance of Jay, it seemed as though her husband was ready to do the same.

"You want to hold him?" Erin offered, Pat nodding immediately, not expecting the offer. She handed the baby over to his grandfather gently, Pat holding the baby carefully in his arms, immediately bouncing on his feet.

"He's gorgeous," Pat said, a genuine smile that Jay rarely saw on his face. "What's his name?"

"Evan." Pat's head snapped up at the name before he nodded, the smile returning to his face.

"She'll be so proud of you Jay," his father said, Jay's eyes watering at the compliment. "You've turned out to be a great man. That's all her and that's all you."

"Thank you," Jay said. Pat handed Evan back over to Erin, giving his daughter in law a nod. Jay held out his hand and Pat shook it. Everything wouldn't be healed with one interaction, years and years of hurt and pain too strong but it was a start.

"Home sweet home," Jay exclaimed as they stepped into their penthouse as a family of three for the first time, Evan sleeping happily in his car seat.

"I'm so glad to be home," Erin said, placing the car seat gently on the couch, softly sitting down next to it, Jay taking the seat next to her, his arm going around her.

"We're going to be so exhausted for the next couple of months," Jay told her, playing with her hair softly.

"Hmm, already regretting it Halstead?" Erin teased. Jay immediately shook his head, sitting up.

"No," he replied. "Never." Erin gave him a smile, leaning in to meet his lips for a quick peek but Jay held her in place, deepening the kiss. "This is everything I've ever wanted," he said, "Thank you for making all my dreams come true."

Erin smiled, gazing into his eyes. She could look at him forever and she'd never tired of looking at him, of loving him. He was the best thing that ever happened to her. Well, second best, she corrected as Evan stirred and started babbling. But Jay had given her the best thing in her life so she guessed it was all the same.

"I love you," Erin said, kissing Jay's lips. "I love our son," she kissed him again. "And I love our family." One more kiss.

"I love you even more," Jay replied, landing one more kiss. "Come on, the baby's napping and this is the perfect time for us to get some sleep too. Who knows? We might even get lucky and get a whole hour." He picked up Evan as gently as possible so he wouldn't disturb the sleeping baby, ready to carry him to the crib and held his hand out, waiting for Erin to take it. Erin intertwined her hand in his and the three Halsteads retreated to their bedroom, hearts full and ready to continue their fairytale— only this time as a family of three.

And they lived happily ever after. The end. At least for this AU. And just like that, I've finished a fanfic for the first time. I feel like I hit a milestone or something lol.

I've never really written AUs before, always preferring canon but I had fun writing this story so much that I've wanted to continue with another AU so be on the look out for that.

Also, I just wanted to say thank you for all the support/reviews/favorites/follows for this story. I was blown away that you guys seem to like it. Like I said, this is my first AU so I was pretty nervous about posting it but thank you all, really.