Chapter 13: Voices Heard and Yet Unheard

"Now I'll be bold

as well as strong

and use my head alongside my heart.

So tame my flesh,

and fix my eyes;

A tethered mind free from the lies."

-I Will Wait, Mumford & Sons

29 ABY

At first Rey couldn't see anything. The chilly breeze cut out several meters from the tunnel entrance, but the cold remained, casting plumes of her barely-visible white breath into the still air. The silence was nearly complete, interrupted only by the chattering of her teeth and the scuff of their footsteps on the stone floor.

It seemed a crime to break the tomb-like quiet, so Rey swallowed back her nervous ramblings and took comfort in Ben's welcoming Force signature. His gentle nudge of encouragement eased her tension as they continued forward, the light behind them growing dimmer and dimmer as the tunnel mouth contracted to a pinpoint.

Let the Force be your eyes, she thought as her feet found purchase amidst the patchy ice rimming the floor.

Their descent continued for several minutes, and the air temperature slowly warmed until feeling began returning to Rey's extremities.

Finally, she detected a faint gray glow in the distance. It expanded as they drew nearer, widening into a broad arch that admitted them to a dimly lit hall of epic proportions. Rey sucked in a shocked breath as she beheld the wreckage before them.

It had been glorious, once, she was sure.

Now the hall was a mess of rubble—stone, metalwork and discarded fuel cells. Refuse had been piled in the corners, and graffiti marred the walls—symbols of the Empire, the Sith, and their followers.

To Rey's immediate left and right stood two massive statues—Jedi, she surmised, based on their robes and posture. Both looked as if they had once held sabers in hand. Their weapons were long gone, sheared away by blaster fire, signs of which marred the remnants of their closed fists. One was faceless—its visage disfigured in a similar manner, while the other lacked a head entirely.

She turned from the sight, blinking back tears.

The rest of the temple was in no better condition. Opposite them, a grand staircase rose towards a ragged, gaping wound in the back wall. Surrounding it were the remains of elegant machinery, crumpled and twisted. Above, Rey could see the fixtures that had once held the contraption aloft. She wondered sickly what it had been.

Ben took a few steps forward, one of his boots colliding with a chunk of dull crystal that skittered away across the littered floor. Rey could feel the anger rolling off of him in waves, and she wondered absently where his mistrust of the Jedi ended, and his reverence for this desecrated hall began.

"There are drawings of this place," he said softly. "It was secret and sacred to the Jedi, so they're few. There—" he pointed to the dark chasm in the far wall—"was the entrance to the kyber caves. It was said to be covered by a great frozen waterfall. The Jedi built a fixture that held a massive kyber crystal aloft. Once every seventeen days the sun would rise and shine through a gap in the stones—" he gestured again, to one of the cracks overhead that permitted a faint light to enter the temple—"and be focused by the crystal, melting the ice and allowing padawans to enter the caves in search of their kyber. They had until nightfall, when the ice froze once more."

"The Empire did this?" Rey asked softly.

"Yes," Ben breathed, his jaw working, lips pressed together in a furious line. For the first time, Rey felt a liquid hot surge of anger towards the old regime fizzle through her veins. In the past they had always seemed an abstract shadow—the source of the ancient crafts that she had scavenged on Jakku; an authority corrupt enough to be easily skirted by the junk traders and scrap dealers of her home planet; an entity whose removal had done little to change the conditions of her upbringing.

But this—this left a bitter taste in her mouth.

"Skywalker says that is wrong to feel anger for the sins of the past," Ben said. He didn't need to continue. Rey could feel his helpless frustration thrumming alongside her own.

"Why wasn't it restored?" she asked.

"This is a place of the Jedi," Ben answered. "Not to be shared with others. It is Skywalker's hope that, with the Empire dead, this place will be forgotten by history. He refuses to restore it himself, because he thinks it a helpful reminder of all that stands to be lost if the galaxy falls into darkness once more."

"It seems…wrong," Rey said.

Ben grimaced in agreement. "Yes. But look past its exterior—the nature of the place is deeper than the paint on its walls."

They stood in silence a few moments, observing the swell and dance of the Force around them. Despite the physical beating that the place had taken, its power was unmistakable.

"It's a vergence, isn't it?" Rey asked.

"Yes," Ben whispered. "The shrine can be destroyed, but even the Empire was not powerful enough to corrupt the nexus it was built to recognize. It's why we've come here—you will be tested, and the Force will decide your worthiness to continue on the Jedi path."

"You talk about it like it's a person," Rey hummed.

"A vergence can occur around a person or a place," Ben answered musingly. "In some ways, perhaps it does have a mind of its own."

Rey swallowed hard.

"You can hide nothing from the Force," he continued. "It is within you; it flows through your every molecule, touches your every thought, fear, and intention. You are inseparable."

Like us, Rey thought absently. Connected.

"It will evaluate you," he told her. "In your search for your crystal, you will be asked to face your deepest fears and confront your ultimate weaknesses."

"What about you?" Rey asked. "Haven't you already passed the tests?"

"I have," Ben answered calmly. "I can't come with you. You must go alone."

Rey's heart plummeted. "W-what?"

"This moment is for you, Rey," he said comfortingly, drawing a step closer and laying a hand on her shoulder. His thumb hovered over her collarbone, and the tips of his fingers nearly spanned her back. "I'll wait for you."

I'll wait for you. The words rang in Rey's head like a struck bell. How many times had she thought those very words on Jakku? How many times had they been unanswered?

"You promise?" she exhaled.

Something in Ben's chocolate eyes shifted and he crouched in front of her. She was tall enough now that he had to tip his head up ever so slightly to meet her gaze.

"I promise," he told her unwaveringly. "I'll always wait for you."

Rey's heart thumped hard against her ribs. She wondered if he could hear it. Her throat bobbed with unshed tears.

"Come here kid," he said, impossibly softly, and pulled her forward into a gentle hug. Rey's face landed in the crook between his neck and shoulder and her arms crawled around his ribcage, clinging to him in a desperate embrace. His hair was like cool velvet against her cheek, impossibly soft, and he smelled familiar—fresh rain, pine, and something warm and musky that was uniquely Ben.

He drew away all too soon, and Rey bit down on her lip until she tasted blood, holding in the tears that she could feel pooling. His hands remained on her shoulders, a comforting weight that felt like home.

"You'll know what to do," he promised. "I'll be with you up here," he tapped her temple gently, "and in here." He rested two fingers over her sternum. "Okay? Just like always."

Rey nodded rapidly, not trusting her voice. Ben Organa-Solo. The son of war heroes and Prince of Alderaan. One day soon he's going to leave this place.

"Go get 'em, kid," he whispered, and released her from his grasp.

Rey's first steps into the shattered entrance to the kyber cave smelled of dank, musty earth. For a moment she almost appreciated the Empire's reckless destruction of the ancient archway—the thought of being separated from Ben by a wall of growing ice sent a cold ripple down her spine.

A final glance over her shoulder, revealed her friend's soft silhouette, one hand raised in farewell.

Please don't go, she thought, turning her back on the light.

She could see nothing; could hear nothing but the occasional drip of water.

Slowly, her eyes adjusted to the darkness, and she was able to follow a winding path that sloped down before her feet. She sensed the massive weight of stone pressing down above her, and forced herself to take calming breaths, imagining herself within one of the broken wrecks on Jakku, with the gentle weight of Ben's hand on her shoulder.

Be with me, she thought, and he was, just like he always had been, a comforting presence in the corner of her mind that watched without speaking.

After several minutes she came to a divergence in the path where the tunnel split in two. Which way? she wondered, reaching out in the Force and finding no distinguishing features in either direction. Ben was silent on her shoulder, so she closed her eyes, picked a direction, and kept walking.

The decline steepened, and soon she was forced to extend a steadying hand to the wall to prevent herself from tumbling forward. After a while, the slope turned into a staircase, that spiraled downwards into the bowels of the earth.

Be with me, Rey chanted. Be with me. Be with me.

She walked on.

The humming of voices was growing louder, swelling into an indistinct chorus. The harder she struggled to make out individual words, the more they faded from her grasp.

At the bottom of the stairs, she came to another split in the corridor. Tilting her head to the side slightly, she listened carefully.

The voices came from her left, and she turned to follow them.

Be with me.

With a jolt, she realized that Ben was gone.

Reaching out desperately, she searched for him through meters of stone and ice. The Force churned around her in a great vortex, spilling over her senses and dampening the range of her perception.

The vergence, she thought. I must be getting closer.

And Ben was nowhere to be found.

You're on your own, she told herself firmly. You've done this before. You know how to be alone. This should feel natural.

It didn't.

Swallowing, she turned to step into the darkness of the tunnel to the left.

"Rey."

The timbre of the voice was just right, and echoed in the silence.

Rey spun around, her heart giving an almost painful thud as Ben stepped into sight before her. He was so tall that his head almost brushed the ceiling, and the accommodating hunch of his shoulders sent a pulse of warmth through her chest.

"Ben!" she exclaimed, stepping towards him.

He swayed slightly back, out of reach.

Hiding her frown, she looked up at him. "What are you doing here? I thought I had to do this alone."

Ben grimaced slightly as he looked down at her. "Think about it, Rey," he said, in a lilting tone that raised hairs on her arms. "That's a Jedi tradition. Since when have I trusted the Jedi?"

"I—well—" Rey stammered. "Ben, we are Jedi."

He tipped his head back and laughed, a cold sound that sent ice down her spine. "Please, Rey," he scoffed. "Who do you think you're fooling? You and I both know you'll never be a Jedi. You need me too much. When Skywalker finds out how you feel, he'll kick you out of the temple for good."

"I-I don't need you," Rey protested. "You're my best friend—we need each other."

Ben laughed again, and there was no trace of a smile on his face. "I need you?" he questioned. "Rey, you're like the annoying little sister I never asked for. It won't be long before I take the Trials, and then I'll be gone."

"Y-you said you'd wait for me," Rey whispered, ignoring the way her stomach dropped on the word sister.

"If you forsake the Jedi path, perhaps you can come with me," he said, shrugging. "We're stronger together."

"Forsake the Jedi?" Rey echoed. "Ben, you know I can't!"

He shook his head sadly. "I thought you saw through the lies of our master," he told her. "You can't have it both ways—it's me or them. To be a true Jedi, you must let me go."

"What if I don't want to be a true Jedi?" she asked, desperately backpedaling. "Can't there be something else? You said it yourself, Ben—we make each other better."

Ben's gaze sharpened, and for a moment she saw something strange in his eyes—a flicker of light, an emotion that wasn't quite human. "What an idea," he said softly, drawing a step nearer and leaning into her space. "Could it be? But no." He shook his head once, sharply. "Not as long as you fear to lose me."

"What?" Rey asked, taking a step back. His gaze was unnaturally bright.

"A millennia in waiting," he whispered. "But you must learn to let go of the things you fear to lose."

"Ben?"

His voice took on a ringing undertone, and he drew himself up taller. "I have told you a thousand times that I will always be at your side, and yet you have never believed me. Perhaps you don't fear losing me as much as you fear trusting me?"

"But you just said—"

"One day you will have to choose," he said. "The galaxy, or me? I pray, dear child, that you will remember what I have said when that day comes."

Rey stumbled back another step and felt the cool wall at her back. "You're not Ben," she choked. "You're—something else."

The figure smiled coolly. "You have nothing to fear but the fears you bring with you."

She blinked, and he was gone.

Rey let out a cry of despair, pacing the tight corridor with balled fists and stinging eyes. What does it mean? What was that thing? Her breath came in ragged gasps, her heart pounded against her ribs.

Perhaps you don't fear losing me as much as you fear trusting me.

Rey shook her head desperately, pressing her palms to her ears in a fruitless effort to block out the words that were echoing in her mind.

Think, she told herself. Think. Ben told you there would be a test. What else did he say?

His words came back to her with a sudden flash of clarity. I'll be with you.

She reached into the corner of her mind where his presence usually lived, and found only the roaring strength of the vergence. She let out a small sob.

What else? she thought desperately. There has to be something else.

Sinking into a crouch, she leaned back against the wall and pushed away her tumbling thoughts. Meditation usually came easily to Rey—there had been something meditative about her life on Jakku. But now, the peaceful place inside was terribly difficult to find. She felt Ben's absence like a scar.

Drifting deeper into the quiet of her mind, she reached once more into the Force. Rather than fighting it, she offered her fears and her unrest to the vergence. She felt them wicked away instantly, like ink in fast-moving water.

Unbidden, a scene blossomed before her eyes.

She was nine years old again, curled on the edge of her bed. The shadows told her it was night. She could make out Ben's figure, his head even with hers, his large hand cradling her smaller one in the aftermath of what could only have been a nightmare.

"They're gone, Ben," she rasped. "They left me, and they're never coming back. I'll never know who they were, or where they went."

"You can't change the past, Rey," his deep voice rumbled. "You can only let it go. Kill it, if you have to."

"I can't," she admitted, voice cracking. "I try, but I'm not strong enough."

"You are," he whispered. "I know it might not seem like it, right now, but you are. One day you'll see that."

"How do you know?" she sniffled.

Ben's eyes grew distant, and when he spoke again, she knew he was repeating something he had once been told. "Hope is like the sun, Rey. If you only believe in it when you can see it, you'll never make it through the night."

Rey's eyes flickered open, and she stared into the blank darkness of the corridor. Using the wall, she pushed herself to her feet, hands trembling and jaw set.

I'll be with you.

Setting her shoulders, she continued into the labyrinth of tunnels.

Rey didn't know how long she had been walking, but her feet ached, and her stomach felt emptier than it had in years. The feelings were easy to ignore—almost a comfort in the way that they reminded her of her childhood. The path twisted through echoing caves, where stalagmites pressed up from the floor, and stalactites reached down to meet them. There were still no signs of kyber crystal, although had Rey admitted to herself uneasily after what felt like several hours that she had no idea what kyber crystal looked like.

What if I wander here until I die? she wondered morbidly. Would Ben ever come looking for me? She still felt his absence, but her panic had softened into a dull anxiety that she pressed back by recalling his solemn honesty and his unwavering faith. He would, she told herself. He would find me. He would come back for me.

The click of stones broke the silence, and Rey froze, peering ahead into the twilight.

"Who's there?" she called, and her voice echoed back there, there, there.

The click was repeated.

"Show yourself!" she snapped, unslinging her quarterstaff from over her shoulder.

Without warning, a grey-clad figure stumbled into her path, staring up at her with eyes that seemed unused to the dim light surrounding them. The first figure was followed by a second, dressed in a sandy tunic and breeches not unlike Rey's.

"Rey?" the first figure asked, his voice cracked with disuse. "Is that you?"

Rey blinked in surprise, certain that she had never met this man before. He was tall, with close-cropped brown hair and eyes that looked strangely familiar. Her gaze swiveled to the second figure—a slight woman with long, dark hair. They were both emaciated, their cheekbones pressing up into gaunt, yellow-tinged skin. The woman's neck looked barely large enough to hold up her head, which rolled first onto one shoulder and then the other.

"Rey? Whoosat?" she slurred, clutching the man's shoulder for support.

"Stupid bitch," he growled, pushing her hand off. "Don't you recognize your own daughter?"

Rey reeled back, lifting her staff defensively. "W-who are you?" she stammered, her voice rising an octave.

"Whodaya think we are?" the man grunted. "Your parents, aren't we?" They drew nearer, the woman listing heavily against the man for support, her gaze unfocused and trained somewhere on the ground at Rey's feet.

"Can't be our Rey," the woman mumbled. "She's on Jakku. Left 'er there."

Rey swallowed hard. "You're not my parents," she said calmly, taking another measured step back as they moved towards her.

"Can't be? Can't be?!" The man let out a deep belly laugh that echoed through the tunnels, wiping his streaming eyes with the back of one grimy hand. "Don't think I'd recognize my own handiwork anywhere? How did you get off that old junk heap anyways? Bartered your way off, did ya?"

"I had help," Rey said stiffly. "I'm still looking for my parents. My real parents."

The man hooted with laughter again, pushing the woman away as she clung to him deliriously. "Do you hear that?" he chuckled. "Her real parents. Like she thinks they're royalty, sitting on some fancy throne. The truth hurts, don't it, kid?" He leered at her, bringing his face down to eye level so that she got a clear view of his broken teeth and caught a waft of his stinking breath. It smelled of alcohol. "You're just a filthy sand rat like us. Nothing. Nobody, from nowhere. Did you think we was really coming back for you?" He laughed again.

Rey could feel tears gathering in the corners of her eyes, but she forced herself not to flinch away. "What do you mean?"

"I mean we was never coming back!" the man snapped, his humor suddenly replaced by anger. "We sold you for drinking money, didn't we? You was always more trouble than you was worth! Stupid bitch."

"You're lying," Rey said pathetically, tears streaming down her cheeks. Her voice sounded small even to her own ears. "You don't really mean it."

"Like hell I don't," the man grumbled, losing interest and turning to swat the woman's hand away from his arm as she tugged beseechingly as his shirt. "Got nothing for you!" he growled. "Stop it."

Rey could feel her throat constricting. "I'm not nothing," she said softly, intently. "I'm training to be a Jedi. One day I'll protect the galaxy from people like the man you sold me too."

The woman shrieked, a high shrill sound that set Rey's hair on end. "Did you hear her, darling?" she whispered in a voice that carried. "A Jedi. As if they're real."

"And if there were—as if she could be one," the man returned. "You'll never protect no one from nothing," he informed her. "What utter rubbish."

"Really!" Rey said beseechingly. "I am! It's all real—the Force, the Jedi—they're real! I can show you!"

But the pair only stared at her blankly, their eyes devoid of any kind of recognition.

"Who are you, again?" the woman asked.

Rey sobbed, and sank to the ground. They're not real, she told herself. Not real, not real, not real.

Another voice in her head whispered quietly, but what if they were? Isn't that the point of all of this? To face your deepest fears? And isn't this one of them? That your parents were two deadbeats who cared nothing for you?

Another wave of tears hit her.

You can't change the past, Ben had warned her. You can only let it go.

Rey scrubbed at her eyes roughly with the back of her hand. Somewhere in her chest, her heart beat at double speed. It was a fluttery, panicky feeling—the thought of letting go of something that had held her for so long. You'll never stop needing them, she thought, until you admit that you don't need them.

Gritting her teeth, she stood.

The two figures were still eyeing her from several meters away, the man's eyes flashing grimly in the dark as if sizing her up.

"You're wrong," she said firmly, gripping her staff in both hands. "About me, and about the Jedi. I'm someone, now, because I chose to be." She took a step forward, her jaw set angrily. "You left me because you didn't want me, so I raised myself, and I saved myself, and I found a place to be—people to bewith. I have a family now, and they're not you."

She imagined the flash of Colt's eyes under his sandy hair, Han's crooked smile, Leia's warmth, and Luke's craggy frown. And there, interwoven with it all, the focal point that held it in place, was Ben—the shape of his mouth when he laughed, the deep hum of his voice, the size of his giant hands cupping hers.

"And I'm sorry for you," she said softly, her tears blurring her vision. "I'm sorry that you didn't have anyone to love you the way they love me. Because I may be a Jedi, but I know that love has power."

She blinked away her tears and found herself standing in a corridor alone.

The air seemed to hold a strange buzz as Rey walked on. She knew that she was close, and with every corner she turned, the pounding pulse of unintelligible voices grew louder. A vergence can occur around a person or a place, Ben had told her. In some ways, perhaps it does have a mind of its own.

But what kind of mind does it have? Rey wondered, remembering the chilling touch of Snoke's presence. It had been four years since she had last heard the blue-lightning crackle of his voice, and still the thought sent a shiver down her spine.

Not that kind of mind, she reassured herself. No—Ben wouldn't have sent you down here alone with him. He wouldn't have.

Rey stopped abruptly.

The noise around her had died, leaving her in an eerie silence that pressed down on her from all sides. The silence of snowfall. The silence of something waiting.

At the end of the corridor ahead she could see a faint pale glow. Her breath caught in a grateful gasp and she staggered forward. An archway came into sight, rough hewn from the stone around, but engraved with a series of markings similar to those outside the temple.

The Jedi had been here.

Rey's face split into a joyous smile as she broke into a trot. At last.

The first blow fell with little warning—just the whisper of feet on stones and then something heavy connecting with the underside of her chin, flinging her head back and throwing her to the ground hard. Her temple clipped rock and her vision swam.

"I knew I would find you here," a mechanical voice hissed above her, the echo of its unnatural timbre sending a spike through her already spinning head. "You can't hide from me, Rey."

There was a sound like the crackling of an open flame.

Rey dragged her sluggish body backwards, trying to put distance between herself and her assailant. She wasn't quick enough, and the toe of a heavy boot caught her in the ribs and lifted her from the ground. Coughing and spluttering for air, she rolled away, freeing her quarterstaff and springing to her feet in a defensive crouch.

"Ahh, there she is," her attacker hummed. "The girl I've heard so much about."

Silhouetted against the door she had been so desperate to reach was a tall figure wrapped in swirling black robes and clutching a fiery saber in one hand. Two licks of crossguard flame pulsing in an unstable beat with the main blade. A dark mask obscured the figure's face and distorted its voice.

"I know you're not real," Rey growled, clutching her staff tightly. "Get out of my way."

The masked creature let out a bark of mirthless laughter. "Such spirit, for a Jedi. I had forgotten how much fire you had."

"Forgotten?" Rey snapped. "I'm sure I would remember meeting someone like you."

"Someone like me?" the figure asked, tilting its head to one side appraisingly.

"A Sith," she hissed. "A darksider."

"Ahh, I see. You know everything you need to know. Skywalker has taught you well."

"You know Master Luke?" Rey asked suspiciously, adjusting her grip and bringing her staff higher to cover her chest.

"Oh, I do," the figure intoned, the crisp edges of its voice cutting through the space between them. "And I know you, too, Rey of Jakku. Better than you can possibly imagine."

"You don't know a thing about me," Rey retorted.

"So certain, are you?" the figure asked in sibilant tones. With a whisper, the blade of the red saber disappeared, leaving only a black hilt and cross guard enclosed in her enemy's fist. "Perhaps you would like to know who I really am?"

No, a voice in Rey's head told her. No, I don't want to know. I can't live with seeing who lives under that mask.

But she was frozen in place, helpless to resist as her attacker lifted both hands to clasp the underside of the helmet. There was a pop and a faint hiss, and the front of the mask lifted away.

With practiced grace, the figure swept the covering off.

And Rey's own face greeted her.

Wide hazel eyes, darkened in a pointed sneer; high, angular cheekbones that cut against the skin; bright red lips like a stain of blood across her pale countenance.

She was terrible in her beauty, and she was Rey.

"Hello, darling," she crooned, lowering her mask to dangle from the fingers not holding her saber. "Long time, no see."

Rey's quarterstaff clattered to the ground.

A cruel smile twisted her reflection's mouth.

"Y-you're not real." Rey hated her voice for the way it shook.

Other-Rey let out a high, clear laugh. "Of course I'm not," she snarked. "How could there possibly be two of us? Stupid girl."

"Then what are you?" Rey asked, backing away slowly. Her gaze flickered briefly to her staff, her fingers curling at her side.

"I'm your imagination, of course," the woman drawled, stomping her foot down on the weapon before Rey could summon it to her hand. It rattled weakly against the stones. "Pathetic," she whispered. "Is that the best that dear Ben taught you?"

"Don't you say his name!" Rey snapped, twisting her hand in a violent jerk. Her staff snapped in two, and one jagged half flew into her grasp. "You're nothing but a vision!"

Other-Rey shook her head almost fondly. "Charming, the innocence of children," she whispered.

With a flash of movement, the other half of Rey's staff was in the Sith's hand, blocking the blow that Rey had directed at her head.

"I had almost forgotten how angry we were," she breathed, inches from Rey's face. "Don't you remember what your dear Ben told you? 'You have nothing to fear but the fears you bring with you.' I remember it like it was yesterday. Very poetic of him. Then again, he always was a poet."

Rey snarled and flung herself forward in a series of strikes of increasing violence. Their makeshift weapons clattered together in a dangerous dance.

"Yes!" her reflection crowed, never ceasing in her languid defense. "Feel it flow through you! The strength! The righteous fury! Do you want to know what happened to him—your precious, beloved boy? You can hide from the others how you care for him, but never from me!"

"You won't touch him!" Rey panted, throwing her weight into each blow as she backed her opponent towards the arch way. "I'll kill you!"

With a deft movement, her enemy knocked Rey's feet from under her, sending her sprawling to the ground and pinning her down with a single foot in the middle of her chest. Rey struggled, but couldn't escape.

"No, you won't," Other-Rey said calmly. "But you will kill him."

"No!" Rey screamed, twisting furiously. "No! You're lying!"

"How could I lie to myself?" the woman inquired slyly.

"I'm not you," Rey sobbed, giving up her fight and slumping back on the ground. "I'll never be you."

"You're already me. You just don't know it yet."

"Liar," Rey said, but her voice lacked conviction.

"There are things I could tell you," the Other-Rey continued calmly. "Wouldn't you like to know who they really were? Your parents?"

"I know who my family is," Rey panted. "The ones that matter, anyways. I don't need the people who left me on Jakku."

"That's because you think they were nothing," her reflection whispered down at her. "But what if they weren't?"

Rey glared up at her in furious silence.

Her doppelganger hummed. "So much to learn," she said. "So much he can never teach you. Do you know, Ben Solo thinks he's destined to fall to the dark? There isn't a drop of darkness in that man. But we—oh we are something truly extraordinary. The dark side is in our nature. All we had to do was destroy the other half. Simple; easy. He could never lift a finger against us anyways—he loves us too desperately. We always were his weakness."

"You're a monster!" Rey shouted, her voice hoarse with tears.

Other-Rey tipped her head ever-so-slightly to the side. "Yes I am," she answered.

There's no darkness in you, Ben had promised her. Oh, how wrong he had been. Only someone truly despicable could have invented this creature of the night—imaginary though she may have been.

Tears slipped over Rey's temples in twin streams, carving tracks through the grime on their way towards her hairline.

"Don't be afraid of who you really are, Rey," the Sith pronounced slowly, her lips twisting into a slow smile that revealed needle-sharp teeth. "Your emotions make you strong. Your grief, your anger, your sorrow. Even your love."

Desire is not the way of the Jedi. Luke's words.

"You'll never truly have him," the fallen warrior hissed, as if reading from her very thoughts. "Not as a Jedi."

"That's the difference between you and I," Rey grated out. "I don't need to own him."

"Perhaps not yet," the figure told her. "But one day—one day you will. And when you realize that you're not what he wants—that you could never, ever be what he wanted? Your love for him will consume you, and you'll destroy him rather than let him belong to another."

Rey trembled. "I wouldn't," she said, her voice cracking over the words. "I couldn't."

"We both know that's a lie," Other-Rey smirked. "There is only one way to protect him, you know."

"How?"

"Walk away."

You cannot save your parents, but you can save him, Maz had said, in a cantina that felt lightyears and centuries away.

Could this be what she meant? Rey wondered, feeling fresh tears streaking her cheeks. Ben's face flickered before her eyes—full lips, strong nose, high cheekbones. So very dear. Must I leave to keep him safe?

"I can't," Rey whispered, almost to herself.

"You're still holding on!" Other-Rey snarled. "Let go!"

There will always be more tests, Ben had warned. Such is the way of the Jedi.

"You don't want me to let go," Rey answered fiercely. "You want me to run away. I won't."

"Oh, darling," the lethal woman smiled. "I don't want anything. You do."

And she was gone, leaving Rey feeling more lost than ever before.

She wasn't sure how many minutes it took her to stagger to her feet. Her head throbbed terribly, and the sick feeling that had started that morning after her conversation with Colt was spreading throughout her chest.

She stumbled to the brilliant archway, holding herself up on the wall as she took a deep, bolstering breath.

There will always be more, she thought, stepping over the threshold.

The sight that greeted Rey was simultaneously everything she had expected, and nothing she could have ever anticipated.

The cave did not contain kyber crystals—it was kyber crystal.

The floor, the ceiling, the walls—all wore the translucent shimmer of softly tinted glass. Their shades ranged from deepest emerald to pale lavender, soft cobalt, and dark obsidian. And the colors—the colors flowed an ebbed with the pulse of inner light that illuminated each inch of stone. Gentle starbursts and blossoming rainbows danced around her, accompanied by the quiet whisper of voices just out of hearing. In some places the crystals were a smooth ripple—in others their edges were as sharp as a knife's blade and twice as deadly. Rey's gaze feasted on the vibrant cacophony surrounding her, her heart tripping along in an unsteady rhythm.

Welcome, Rey.

It was a voice, and not a voice. A whisper that filled every corner of her mind, echoing off of memories and foreshadowing the coming of a thousand utterances yet unheard.

"Who are you?" Rey whispered, her eyes traveling over the living stones surrounding her. "Where are you?"

Within you, and without, the speaker answered. We are everything.

"Is this a test?" Rey asked, steeling herself. "I'm ready."

It is not a test. All you have left is to choose. Listen closely, young Rey. Here, the boundary between all places is fragile.

The ceaseless murmur died into a soft hissing, like the sound of wind over rock.

"The boundary?" Rey mused, rotating in a slow circle. "Boundary to where?"

The cave gave her no answer.

Inhaling deeply, she surveyed the cave again. You'll know what to do, Ben had promised. I'll be with you.

In the silence at the eye of the vergence, she dared to reach out again, searching for his presence.

A pulse of shock raced through her as her mind brushed up against something—someone. A familiar someone, old and new in ways that she couldn't possibly describe. He was everything she had known, and so many things she didn't, shielded from her gaze as if behind a veil. The back of her neck prickled and she spun around, coming face to face with a shadowy figure.

"Ben?" she whispered.

The figure took a step nearer, its features sharpening into the face she knew so well. He was familiar and not so—there were lines around the corners of his eyes and mouth that she didn't remember, and his shoulders seemed, impossibly, wider. The dark whiskey shade of his irises was the same, but the light behind them had changed into something softer, calmer, more at peace.

"Rey," he breathed, and in his mouth her name was a prayer. "Force, I've missed you."

She reached out for him, and her palm connected with the cool, glassy surface of kyber crystal. "B-Ben," she stammered, pressing her palm hard into the place where his chest should have been. "Is it you?"

"It's me, sweetheart," he hummed, raising one large hand to settle it against the space where her fingers rested. She almost imagined she could feel the warmth of his skin through the stone.

"Are you real?" she choked. "How did you get down here?"

"I'm real," he promised her. "But I'm not really here, so to speak."

"Then where are you?" Rey asked. "Is this a Force-vision, like before? When you were on Csilla?"

The corners of his mouth twitched into half a smile. "Not exactly," he murmured, flexing his fingers slightly. "Would it hurt you deeply if I told you that you'll understand when you're older?"

"Yes," Rey pleaded, taking a step closer until her nose nearly brushed the cave wall. "Please, Ben."

His face softened into an expression that made Rey's heart stumble against her ribs. "I'm with you always," he told her. "But here the fabric is stretched so thin that you can see me. There isn't time to explain, but I've come to offer you my advice, if you'll have it."

"Yes, please," Rey breathed. "I have to choose a crystal. Will you help me?"

Ben smiled enigmatically. "My mother used to tell me that the eyes are the windows to the soul," he told her. "When in doubt, remember that two may be one."

"Ben," Rey huffed in exasperation. "That doesn't make any sense."

"You'll work it out," her told her, his lips curling higher, the hint of a dimple forming in his right cheek. "You're far too clever not to."

Rey flushed a deep shade of crimson, then sobered quickly as Ben's smile faded and his eyes swam with unshed tears.

"Ahh my beautiful girl," he hummed, raising his other hand to rest beside his first. Curled across the heel of his palm was a thin, crescent shaped scar. She mirrored his gesture. "My strong, brave, magnificent Rey. What would I be without you?"

"Ben?" Rey asked, pressing both fists into the crystal as he began to back away, his shape growing fuzzier as the space between them grew. "Come back! Ben!"

"You are the very best of me," he called, his voice echoing across the chasm. "I will always wait for you."

"Ben!" Rey cried, her voice taking on a shrill pitch as she beat her fists against the immovable stone. The edges of his figure faded, curving inwards as a fog seemed to creep across the clear sheet of crystal. Colors warped her vision, bending and receding in a swirling fog of light that obscured Ben but for a faint outline that resolved slowly into Rey's own reflection. Her wide, hazel eyes stared back at her.

"No," she sobbed softly, pounding her fist once more against the solid wall. "Please come back."

Sniffling, she blinked tears from her eyelashes and looked back at the space where Ben had stood, inches away. Her lashes flickered in her reflection, and the crystalline sparkle of teardrops winked coolly up at her.

"Stupid advice," she muttered under her breath. "Although it does sound like something Leia would say."

Her flashing tears glinted back at her.

Flashing, glittering—glowing. Glowing tears?

In her reflection, her eyebrows drew together, flattening over narrowed eyes that did little to conceal the twin points of flame resting behind them. She shifted her face slightly to the left, and her reflection moved, but the two bright spots didn't budge.

Pressing her nose to the wall, she peered past the reflective surface of the kyber and into its murky depths. There, suspended like bugs in amber, were two perfectly formed, exquisitely faceted crystals, spaced a few inches apart so that the bright white light of each played over the other, illuminating one another in a refractive web of internal brilliance.

"Two may be one," she breathed. "Oh, Ben."

Delicately, she splayed her fingers across the surface of the wall, reached down into the well of power all around her, and pulled.

Like two wayward ships drawn together through the darkness of a stormy sea, the crystals swam through the once-solid stone around them and landed in her palm.

Rey's first thought when she reached desecrated temple was that more time had passed than she had anticipated. The ruins were dark, lit only by the flickering glow of a fire that cast dancing shadows over the crumbled statues and ancient masonry. Hunched over the flames was a tall form.

"Ben!" she cried, breaking into a run.

He barely had time to stand before she was barreling into his wide chest. He swayed slightly and let out a breath of laughter. "Rey," he grunted, returning her hug. If there was relief in his voice, it paled in comparison the pounding joy in her chest. Their encounter in the caves had left her shaken. It had felt almost like a goodbye.

"Did you get your crystal?" he asked after a moment, slowly detangling her arms from his waist and trying to assume a business-like demeanor.

"Yes," she said breathlessly, grinning up at him in delight. "You were right—I figured it out. Eyes, indeed."

His brow furrowed in something resembling confusion. "Right, excellent. Well I've started dinner—come, sit." He gestured to the floor beside the fire. "Eat, and show it to me."

Rey sank gratefully into the circle of warmth surrounding the fire pit—I figured the old Jedi wouldn't have minded, Ben told her,it's absolutely freezing in here—and reached into her pocket. As Ben deposited a bowl of food into her lap, she pressed her treasure into his waiting palm.

"Interesting," he murmured, turning over the two tiny fragments of kyber. "Two crystals. That's a unique choice."

"It was like you told me," Rey responded around a mouthful of bread. Ben gave her the look that meant he was both disturbed and amused by her lack of table manners. "Two may be one."

Ben frowned. "I told you that?"

Rey laughed, barely glancing up from her meal. "Yeah, in the cave," she answered. "You were in the kyber and you told me the bit about 'eyes are the windows the soul' and I—Ben? What's wrong?"

"Rey," Ben said slowly, examining her crystals in the light of the fire. "I wasn't in the cave with you. I told you, you had to go alone."

"I know," Rey answered, looking at him seriously. "But I passed the tests and then when it was time to choose, you were there. You told me—"

"Rey," Ben interjected gently. "I wasn't there."

"But—" Rey broke off. "But you were."

"You might have thought I was," Ben explained. "It's common to see people—visions of people—in the kyber caves. It wasn't really me."

Rey frowned stubbornly. "It was you," she argued. "I saw you before, as well—but the first you wasn't real. I could tell he was a lie. But then—later—I know it was you. I felt you."

Reflected tongues of flame danced in the depths of Ben's dark, troubled eyes. "Rey," he pressed. "It couldn't have been. Whoever you spoke to—he was someone else."

A/N: Oh my GOD so much to say here. SORRY. I totally lost inspiration for a while and was busy with a lot of other stuff and sort of stopped writing for a bit. I'm slowly regaining my inspiration, so I'm hoping the next update will be much quicker (although possibly slower than in the past). I'm sorry! I've come to the realization that I've added a lot of little tidbits of foreshadowing in this story (like a LOT, and many of them are probably heavy-handed af) and now I feel like I need to slow down to make sure that things are planned out as they should be and that everything fits together (somewhat) seamlessly. On that note, there were a few important bits of foreshadowing in this chapter (one of which is supposed to bring you allll the way back to chapter 2! If you can find it, there might be a prize?)

The entire description of the temple and the Jedi ritual of kyber gathering is pulled directly from the Clone Wars episode "The Gathering" (S5E6). So if you want to know what things look like, I recommend that you do a quick google (you can probably find some pics on the internet if you don't have Disney+). The ritual itself is a little more...intense in my version (because in the Clone Wars, all the kids are like 5, and I thought Rey was tough enough handle a little more spookiness).

I would love to hear your predictions about the meaning of all the ~weird stuff~ Rey sees in this chapter! Predictions are the best :) anyways, thank you again to kittystargen3 for the beta! She literally edited this chapter like a month ago and my lazy ass JUST finished making changes and writing in the last scene. Oof. I hope you've all been safe & well with all that's been going on in the world. I know these are crazy, tough times, and I hope you've all been doing okay :')

~Aspen